elegantlyelephantly

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Adieu; until we meet again

I’ve been pretty much off of Tumblr for a while now. It’s been a good thing. I moved back to where I grew up and I’ve been very much grounded in reality. Soon I won’t have much time for Tumblr in general anyways - with two part time jobs I’m excited for but will total 50 hours a week of work; training over 16 weeks for the Chicago Marathon on October 11; digitizing thousands of family slides, Super 8mm films and photographs; and generally trying to have a social life and re-embrace photography. Anyways, all of you matter to me and I’m so sorry to seemingly fade away - especially in regards to any and all mutuals. If you ever really need to teach me, try Tumblr chat rather than anything else, but I apologize if I’m not good or prompt with replying. Until we meet again, Rebecca (elegantlyelephantly; and formerly known as bigappleelephant)

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Meet my favorite strawberry I've ever picked #latergram #strawberries #upick (at Next Barn Over Farm)

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Planning arts and crafts for my job is the best. I lose track of time. I can't wait for this summer of teaching art in a pavilion in a wooded park.

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First strawberry picking of the season (at Next Barn Over Farm)

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Siblings who run #airbnbbkhalf (at Coney Island)

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Front stoop hang with my pup #max #jackrussellterrier #lovemydog #westmassbestmass

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SUGAR

sugar: tell me about your first crush

oh, god. why. okay this is the most embarrassing thing i’ll ever put on this blog and i’m a chronic oversharer, but. god. okay. here we go

so, i never really liked anyone when i was a kid. i remember all of my friends having crushes, but i never had them and really just didn’t understand what having a crush even felt like? idk i didn’t feel weird about not feeling that ~way or anything, i just Didn’t Get It. anyways, cue puberty. 

when i was twelve, i got a crush. i remember VIVIDLY the moment i was suddenly like OH. so THAT’S what romantic feelings are. it was before an assembly and as the grade sevens, we had to set up the chairs for everyone in the gymnasium even though we weren’t allowed to sit on them and i remember watching This Boy unstacking the chairs. like, watching his arms flex beneath his short-sleeved shirt, which was this baby blue that matched his eyes, and the sleeves had tight, white arm cuffs. it said “ITALIA” across the front in green, white, and red. (i remember the exact shirt, it’s probably the most memorable item of my preteen years and i didn’t even own it. it looked soft, okay?) and he was laughing with his friends and he had these dimples and his hair was like really bouncy and curly looking. his lips looked so soft and i just. I Wanted To Kiss Him.

i had NEVER felt that before. but suddenly, watching him from ten feet away, i just felt like if i didn’t kiss him i would Die. spontaneous combustion by way of cute boy was an immediate possibility. it was the first time i EVER felt anything like that. even thinking about it now, i can still feel how OVERWHELMED i was and my heart is, like, actually racing while i write this. it was like being hit by a truck with Feelings and Hormones. mostly hormones.

and after that, i knew exactly what my friends were talking about when they talked about crushes at sleepovers. but it was almost like i felt even more than what they did, like i had to be Cool and Calm and Collected when talking about it. when it was my turn in truth or dare (which was really just truth, no dare, to be used against you at a future date, probably in front of everyone at recess) i would shyly say his name – and i had a really specific, emphasized way of saying His Name that my parents still say with the exact intonation today, eleven years later. i never had a celebrity crush, i had Him. god, if he had posters, i would’ve bought them.

he found out about my crush, of course. by some miracle (or dare i say Fate, also named mr barker, our teacher with an alphabetical seating plan), we were seated together in ICT class; him, me, and my friend, all in a row in the computer lab. my friend, who knew i had a crush of epic proportions on him, loudly asked me who i had a crush on one day. and of course i immediately went cherry tomato red, which is when everyone goes, “you DO have a crush! WHO IS IT?” and you’re forced to stutter out no one, no one, no one until they hopefully leave you alone. (they never do.) 

i put my head down on the desk, embarrassed as hell, after my friend finally was distracted from utterly humiliating me for the time being. He put his head down on his desk, too, and nudged his shoulder into mine. “hey, it’s okay,” he said. “you can tell me.” i squeezed my eyes shut tighter and said, “it’s no one,” and he was quiet for a minute. and then he said, “is it me?” it was like all the breath left my chest and i honestly thought i would cry. 

anyways, this isn’t a fanfiction, so he didn’t, like, declare his love for me in front of the entire class and ask me to be his girlfriend or anything. 

but he was really, really kind. he didn’t tell everyone and set me up for mocking, the way that twelve year olds are so apt to do, the way i was worried he would. he gave me a hug. and for six years after that, he was my friend. he asked me to be his partner for projects and he chose to sit beside me in our actual classroom when we got to pick our own seats as a reward. he chatted with me on msn nightly and soothed my fears about starting high school. 

my heart still raced when i thought about him and i would still imagine us actually being together before i fell asleep. but i moved on and dated a lot of other people in high school, and so did he. we stayed friends and sat beside each other in every class we had together.

annnnnd that’s it!

KIDDING, my life is actually a fanfiction, sometimes. so we kept hanging out after high school, as friends do. but i was getting nervous about going off to university. look, i’m going to be real with you here, i hadn’t lost my virginity yet. like, i know that virginity is a social construct that’s inherently misogynistic in nature, but i was having panic visions of losing it to some random while drunk at a house party, which was not the romance i had imagined. 

so, like any avid reader of fanfiction would do, i asked my Very First Crush and also, at this point, Best Friend to “take” it for me. yeah, i went there. it was as romantic as any friends awkwardly having sex for the first time while their parents are asleep upstairs can be. it was all of my daydreams come true. i could go off to university and know that i got to not only kiss but also sex That Boy. 

and then he assumed that it had meant we were going to pursue a relationship, while i assumed that we were going to go our separate ways at the end of the summer and never talk about it again. one day, after we’d had sex – because it never happens just once after the first time, okay? – he said he wanted us to put our statuses as “in a relationship” on facebook. because he thought that we were dating. which was a misunderstanding of epic proportions and involved a lot of me saying, incoherently, “but you! girls! UNIVERSITY! WHY WOULD YOU!” and he said, “I’VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU SINCE WE WERE TWELVE.”

long story, i know. still with me? anyways. it’ll have been five years, this july. my computer froze twice while i wrote this and the entire time he’s sat opposite me on the couch with my feet in his lap. we have a cat together and a cozy apartment that has in-suite laundry and fairy lights over the tv. 

sometimes, especially when i’m reading a book that talks about crushes or what have you, i lie in bed and think, “who was my first love? what are they doing now?” and then He usually lets out a loud snore from where he’s sleeping beside me.

it’s perfect

[elegantlyelephantly]

Amethyst Brook with my favorite fella #jackrussellterrier #max #lovemydog #westmassbestmass (at Amethyst Brook)

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ready for this collab to happen now [x x x]

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So I forgot to check myself the other day when sending a snapchat to some of my best friends (including @mollywoodsquares). And I feel a need to publicly talk about it. This weekend I was away in Manchester, New Hampshire with an older relative of mine. He's my bio father's cousin and twice my age. This weekend was the most time I've ever spent with him - 2-2.5 hours of driving each way plus meals - and possibly the first time I'd ever been alone with him. Being with him takes lots of work and I sent a snapchat that I was spending the weekend with my crazy relative. Within a few minutes of sending, I was horrified with myself. Because, you see, my relative has a mental illness and severe anxiety problems (and one of his brothers is even worse mentally than him, while the other is more functional but still with his own problems). It was exhausting to spend the weekend with him, even as he spent nine hours both weekend days in class. Being with him requires a lot of reassuring and I did all of the driving, all of the decision making and had to lead the conversation practically every moment. But I've always been aware of his issues and I shouldn't have called him crazy. His mother was relying on me to be able to handle a weekend helping her son. Anyways, let this serve as a reminder for myself and others on awareness and respect and all that jazz.

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Everybody that reblogs this by May 10th will get a traditionally drawn character based on what I think you look like after scrolling through your blog

Edit: OK I’M CHANGING THE GODDAMN DATE TO MAY 3RD BECAUSE I CANNOT DRAW 5,000 PEOPLE.

YOU HAVE UNTIL MAY 3RD THIS WAS A BAD IDEA

Edit 2: OK, so a lot of people are doubting this, but I’m not going to just skip out on this. I know it’s a lot of people, but the whole reason I’m doing this is because it sounds like fun, and it will be good drawing practice. I’m not starting it immediately, and it might take a while to get them all out, but I AM going to be getting all of these done! I’m going to keep my promise, and this is a legitimate thing.

[elegantlyelephantly]

LOOK AT THIS ELEPHANT BOOPING A GIRAFFE

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When Professor McGonagall calls the name, “Black, Sirius,” a boy with dark hair and darker eyes emerges from the crowd of nervous first years. His back is straight, his head is high, but his eyes betray him–terror lurks behind his irises as the sorting hat is placed over his head and falls all the way over his nose.

The hat finds this boy’s mind to be full of the traditions and social niceties that come with a pureblood upbringing. There is a sense of arrogance, which sticks out, as though it has been implanted there–as though this boy has heard his family speak so highly of themselves for so long that he’s forced to believe it himself. But beyond that is a spark of rebellion, and the hat knows that if it were fed the right fuel, the fire that would ensue would be uncontrollable. The hat feels this boy’s own self-contempt; there is a deep aching to be free, so strong that it’s visceral. 

The hat sees a stubbornness of the likes he has rarely seen.

A small, timid voice asks, “are you going to put me in Slytherin?” The voice says Slytherin as though it’s a poison that freezes the insides. 

The hat only chuckles. It doesn’t say, “I didn’t even consider it.” Instead, it shouts to the Great Hall, “Gryffindor!” and watches as the dark haired boy walks to his new house table, with a look that is equal parts triumph, and fear.

—

“Lupin, Remus,” is a thin kid in robes that are a size too big. He has nervous ticks–he chews on his lower lip, and tugs at his sleeves; when he sits on the stool he can’t stop bouncing his legs. 

“What have we here?” says the hat once it falls over the boy’s head. “I’ve never sorted a werewolf before.”

It’s amazing how quickly the boy’s thoughts turn cold. There’s a moment of anxiety, until he reasons out that no one in the Great Hall can hear what the hat is saying to him, and that anxiety is quickly filled by anger.

“Go on then,” the boy says briskly in his head. “Sort me into Ravenclaw, since I know you’re going to. I know I’m smart and bookish. The boys I met on the train even said so, when they saw me reading a muggle book.” 

This boy is compassionate and mild-mannered usually, the hat sees, but his insides are burning. There’s a maturity that shouldn’t be there–as though every time his bones shift to make room for the monster, he ages along with them. The hat, feeling what this boy feels, notices dull pains in every corner of his body, where the wolf has scarred the skin, broken blood vessels, and cracked the joints. Along with the maturity there is a stoicism–this boy literally is always in pain, but he’d never say so; wouldn’t even hint.

“With an attitude like that?” the hat finally replies. “I think not.” And it feels the boy’s jolt of surprise when it belts out, “Gryffindor!”

—

“Pettigrew, Peter,” is a conundrum.

He is a mousy boy, with a lot of baby fat, and a slight tremble. But the hat can tell that there is much more to him than that.

There is an overwhelming sense of self-preservation, along with a tendency for hero-worship, and a need for acceptance. This is not a boy looking for power, however, this is a boy looking for survival. The hat contemplates Hufflepuff, but for all his passivity, this boy has an inkling of courage that the hat just can’t ignore. 

“Tell me,” the hat decides to ask. “Where do you think you belong?”

“I met nice boys on the train,” says the boy. “They’re both in Gryffindor now. I think I’d like to be in Gryffindor too.”

The hat ponders this for a good long moment, before conceding and yelling, “Gryffindor!” because after all, the greatest mark of courage is the courage to ask for what you want. 

—

The easiest sorting of the day comes from “Potter, James,” who struts up to the stool in a manner that looks somewhat ridiculous on an eleven year old.

The hat falls over the boy’s eyes and is hit by a rush of certainty; of expectation. The boy, not unlike Mr. Black, comes from a long line of purebloods, and there is a similar arrogance that lingers, but it’s less pronounced–it’s more natural. This is a boy that is sure of himself and his abilities, and also his moral convictions. The hat sees someone who stands for things strongly, and would die before seeing them taken. 

He had thought he had seen the worst case of stubbornness in Mr. Black, but this boy could give him a run for his money. What a force of nature, the hat thinks to itself, those two would become should they ever decide to work together.

It takes approximately ten seconds for the hat the shout out, “Gryffindor!” once again, and it watches the boy jump down with a self-satisfied smirk. 

The boy joins his house table, next to the other new additions, and they sit shoulder to shoulder, grinning at one another. 

This year’s Gryffindor first years, home at last.

[elegantlyelephantly]

Video: Little Girl Shows Off Her Adorable BB-8 Costume

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the most implausible thing about superhero movies is that these guys make their own suits, like seriously those toxic chemicals did NOT give you the ability to sew stretch knits, do you even own a serger

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Lily Evans. Some Things.

A/N: part of my on-gong series. for everyone who follows me, puts up with my sporadic updates and messages me with constant love. i think you all have gorgeous hearts and hope you have happy heads. 

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Lily Evans. Eleven. Ties her shoelaces weirdly. Lost a button on her new blouse. Can’t whistle and it’s so annoying. Sits outside Petunia’s door just in case she comes out and wants to talk. She doesn’t. Sev says to forget about her. Lies in her bed thinking about magic, wondering if it’s in her blood or in her brain. Hates lilies. Didn’t make her bed when she told her mum she did. Can swing higher than Sev can on the swings. Loves Tuney, even if Tuney doesn’t love her back right now. Likes the noise of the train whistle when it’s leaving the station. James Potter is a bit of a prick. Thinks Sirius Blacks hair is probably a wig. Marlene McKinnon is scary as shit. Mary MacDonald has cute colour-changing nail polish. Evangeline Watts is so tall she hit her head on the compartment doorway. Shares her sweets with Sev in the compartment. Loves Sev. Loves Magic. Is so excited about school her heart might beat out of her chest.

Lily Evans. Twelve. Lost her wand under the bed. Late to Breakfast. Laughed at Marlene when she fell off her chair in charms and then got kicked in the shin. Potions. Potions is SO COOL. Misses Sev a lot more than she would like to admit. Potter needs to stop copying her Defence homework or she’s going to elbow him in the nose. Got whiplash from elbowing Potter in the nose. Pulled Sirius Black’s hair to check if it was a wig and Remus Lupin fell into a wall because he was laughing so hard. Passes notes in class. Slytherins aren’t as bad as everyone thinks. I AM NOT SHIT AT WIZARD CHESS YOUTAKE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW MACDONALD. Learns Peter Pettigrew’s name. Tuney didn’t come and pick her up at the station when she went home for Christmas. Quidditch makes no sense but she loves it anyway. Meets Sev in the Library after classes so they can talk. Sits at lunch with her new friends and adores them. Hates chicken. So happy to be here.

Lily Evans. Thirteen. Sick and tired of transfiguration. Gets called ‘firecracker’ by Black. Evangeline offered to hit him on the nose but it doesn’t really bother her that much. Starts writing letters to Tuney every week. Surely she can’t ignore letters. Gets actual boobs. Buys a cat. Mary locks the cat out of the dormitory because it’s a ‘vicious piece of utter shit’. Threatens to lock Mary out of the dormitory. I didn’t lose your quill Remus I just misplaced it I swear I’ll find it.  Three people are missing in the paper and no one knows where they went. Tries to talk to Sev about it. Sev says not to worry, that it’s nothing, that she is paranoid. Doesn’t like the people who Sev hangs out with. Loses her hairbrush. Gets invited to the Slug Club. Buys a pretty dress and feels good wearing it. Gets told she has dirty blood for the first time. Thinks Potter is barely half as funny as he thinks he is. See’s Black’s mother in Hogsmede. She spat at him and he looked too small for his skin. Wanted to hug him right then. All of her letters to home get sent back unopened. Turns out Petunia can ignore anything she wants.

Lily Evans. Fourteen. Got taller over the holidays. Wore high heels and fell on Evangeline. Carves her name into desks in detention. Punched Sydney Halloway after she called Mary a slut. Broke a knuckle so Peter took her to the hospital wing. Worth it. Kissed Martin Wallace in Hogsmede outside Zonko’s. Black whooped and Potter stared so she just flipped them both off. Likes swearwords. Talking to Sev is harder.  A girl with blood just like hers was found hanging from her front door. It’s scary as all hell.  SIRIUS DON’T MAKE ME HEX YOU ITS ONLY SECOND LESSON.  Stays up at night reading her potions book. Failed a Transfiguration test. Petunia went to stay with her friends over the holidays. Realised she didn’t know what Petunia’s voice sounded like anymore. Why does Potter keep looking at her like that.  Doesn’t care if people catch her adjusting her bra in public. Loves the smell of clean sheets. Wears floppy hats with flowers in them. Sev only says hi in the halls when he’s not with his mates. Seriously Potter, why are you staring at me like that?

Lily Evans. Fifteen. Wants Transfiguration on the whole to fuck off and die. Pulled a muscle while dancing on the common room table. Doesn’t really know who Sev is anymore. The paper now keeps a tally of new deaths. Thinks it’s funny that Marlene loves maths. Knows Slughorn is stupid but can’t help liking him. When did all the boys get so tall. O.W.L.S CAN KISS HER ASS. Hit Black when he called her ‘short-stack’. Studied for Herbology with Remus and Peter in the library when Sev didn’t show. Lost the homework sheet. Misses Sev when he’s sitting right in front of her. What do you mean Potter likes me? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard in my life Mary don’t be ridiculous. Refuses to eat green beans on the principle that they’re gross. In shock. What did he just say? Can’t believe that just happened. Sev wouldn’t do this. Sev did do this. FUCK POTTER AND SHIT NOW SHE’S CRYING AND JUST FUCK EVERYTHING OH GOD SHE’S SO SAD HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED WHY DID HE SAY THAT HOW COULD HE HAVE SAID THAT ABOUT HER. Is done with Sev. Has to be done with Sev. Doesn’t go home over Christmas because can’t take Petunia on top of everything.

Lily Evans. Sixteen. Went on a date with Lucas Hart. Didn’t like it that much. Knows Potter feels bad about what happened. Can eat apple cores. The lists of people in the paper are longer and it makes her head spin. How could someone do this? Avoids Severus. Misses Sev. Eats chocolate caldrons with her girls on Evangeline’s bed at three .a.m. when she’s sad. Gets partnered with Potter for Herbology. Yes, it is super weird. Black isn’t half bad when he’s not being an absolute moron. Petunia moved out to flat with her friends. Called Lily a fucking bitch when she grabbed her wrist, smiled like she meant it. Cried for days after because that was it. She knows it. Potter is actually quite funny. The ministry is staying silent while people are murdered in cold blood. It makes her want to scream. James hates chicken too. Reads books under the table in History of Magic. Ate a blood lollipop after Black dared her to. Threw up. James held her hair back while laughing. Turns out she doesn’t need Sev as much as she thought.

Lily Evans. Seventeen. Throws stones on the Black Lake. Likes the way James Potter chews on his lip when he’s worried about something. Gets piggy backs from Sirius when she’s drunk. Doesn’t think about Petunia because it just makes her sad. Finds talking to James makes her feel better. Fuck people who think she’s worth less because of her parents. I WON POTTER I WON JUST ADMIT IT AND WALLOW IN YOUR OWN HUMLIATION. Smiles with all her teeth. Skips while linking arms with Remus. Called James a ‘Potter-ed Plant’ and thinks it’s hilarious. Sirius covers for her when she oversleeps and is late to class. Sirius Black has an utterly wonderful heart. Leans on James when she’s tired. Sits next to him and wraps her ankle around his. Whenever he laughs she feels lighter. Told Mary about it. Mary wouldn’t stop fuckin giggling. Is going to become a potion maker when she leaves school. Makes a huge sign saying ‘STOP LOOKING AT THIS SIGN AND SCORE A GOAL IDIOT’ for James’s Quidditch match. He laughed so hard when he saw it he misses the god damn goal. Gets drunk and thinks about kissing his collar bone.  Takes tons of photos of the lot of them because she’s going to miss school like crazy. Kisses him and he tastes of surprise and all things good. Buy’s all her boys flowers for Valentine’s day.  James Potter isn’t her everything but he’s pretty damn close . Still can’t whistle. Gets shit for it from bloody Sirius who isn’t even that good at whistling. Still can eat apple cores. Is utterly in love with James Potter. Couldn’t be more happy about it.

[elegantlyelephantly]

I CANNOT WAIT TO READ THIS (p.s. I'm bigappleelephant)!!!! Thank you so so so much @bryrosea @cheshirecatstrut @susanmichelin @ghostcat3000 @marshmallowtasha @nevertothethird @scandalpantsstuff! Can't believe y'all wrote us three a story. This fandom is the best!!!

Fever Dreams (18110 words) by @cheshirecatstrut​, @susanmichelin​, @ghostcat3000​, @marshmallowtasha​, @nevertothethird​, @scandalpantsstuff​ and @bryrosea​ Chapters: 6/6 Fandom: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Logan Echolls/Veronica Mars Characters: Logan Echolls, Veronica Mars Additional Tags: egregious classic movie references, Hurt/Comfort, sketchy cold medicine usage, seriously kids don’t try this at home, there’s a dosage cup for a reason, Veronica Mars Holiday Gift Exchange 2015

Summary: If dreams are the way our minds process our deepest fears and desires, then Logan has the world’s least subtle subconscious. OR Five reasons Dick Casablancas should not be your pharmacist and one reason it’s maybe not the worst idea in the world.

A MUCH belated Holiday Gift Exchange fic for the lovely and deserving @kmd0107, @bigappleelephant, and @risssaar. We hope you enjoy this slightly hallucinogenic trip through Logan Echolls’ subconscious!