eldvarpa

[eldvarpa]

Sometimes being the mum who exists in fandom spaces leads to awkward, even concerning, conversations. Such as the one which happened this morning. The mum of my daughter's best mate asked me if one of their mutual friends had sent her a specific message. This message was a link to a fic on ao3, if this had been a G rated fic this conversation would not have happened. It was not G rated. It was an E rated fic. Our kids aren't even 12 yet. As it happens, both of our kids have their internet access heavily locked down and monitored. They have phones because of how their school manages homework. The mutual friend, however, is not so monitored. Or she wasn't, given what her mum found she's about to be. This kid had found a fandom, joined it, and found it chock full of antis. The fic had been sent to her by one of them as an example of the sort of terrible people out there who need to be harassed and attacked because they wrote a smutty story.

Someone thought it was appropriate to send written porn to an 11 year old to encourage her to attack the author.

This resulted in a very awkward conversation where I had to explain to multiple horrified parents the anti culture that is becoming so prevalent. The fact that there are adults who use that purity message to groom kids. The way they escalate and how it bleeds into real life. One parent told me she'd wondered why her 14 year old was suddenly concerned about the two year age gap between her parents. The more I explained, the more absolutely ludicrous it sounded and the more baffled these poor mums looked. More than once I was told "but the characters aren't real, it's really weird but it isn't hurting anyone". Which is the point. The fictional situation isn't hurting anyone. The person who sent porn to an 11 year old is.

Was the person who sent it the author? Doubtful, that thing was tagged in the extreme. Was the person who sent it an adult? Almost certainly. The parent who's child received the original message has found more concerning stuff and gone to the police, but from the language the person doing the sending was in the US. We aren't. Did my daughter receive it? No, she isn't interested in that fandom and therefore wouldn't have bothered with it. Is this the fault of the author? No, they didn't send the link, they didn't ask to be harassed, they wrote a story and put it on ao3, the website created in response to rampant censorship and designed to allow for all kinds of fiction. Is this the fault of the parents? Partially, they should have been looking at their daughter's internet use and clocked what was happening sooner. Is this the fault of the child? No, she's 11, she didn't know better.

This has been a difficult day. Multiple parents have had their eyes opened to parts of fandom culture they had no idea existed. And the thing of it is, they aren't concerned about the why of anti rhetoric. They don't care about the adults writing about teens or rape or incest or torture or any of the rest, because they looked at the clearly tagged and rated fics and figured that it worked the same as a warning on any streaming service. They only cared because some utterly vile individual decided to expose their child to something this girl might not have looked at for years.

Proshippers did not cause what I have spent afternoon helping several sets of parents navigate. Antis did. Normally I'm fairly quiet about the whole debate because I just want to get on with my life and share my experiences. Today I got dragged into that mess in my every day life and the adults in the equation didn't react the way Antis like to think they would. They didn't condemn the author. They condemned the anti who shared the work with a preteen.

[eldvarpa]

[eldvarpa]

The Valar buried an entire continent in the ocean rather than deal with the fact that they failed.

[eldvarpa]

I keep wondering…what would have happened if the Silmarils hadn’t been stolen by Melkor, and Feanor had refused to give them up?

Would the Valar have taken them away by force anyway? It’s obvious that the Silmarils were not the only way to restore light to Valinor, but in that moment, the Valar were rather acting as though they were…so would they have done it? Or would they have just shrugged and made the sun and moon instead?

Does anyone have any thoughts on this?

[eldvarpa]

redemption arcs are kinda cringe if you think about it. oh youre powerful and evil and now… want to be a bummer and sad about it? lol what are you catholic

[eldvarpa]

This is another thing that is deeply fucked up btw, telling someone that they can either be alone probably forever, in a world where literally everyone else is paired off and playing happy families if you go by LaCE, or he can move on but his wife is definitely gone forever is. that’s some real fucked up shit ngl.

This is really the crux of the matter.

And the fact that the Valar took “all future change and choice” away from Miriel, basically trapping her, speaks volumes about how much they cared about her healing and her well-being, in short about her as a person.

The Valar corner both Finwe and Miriel into an impossible situation, from which they can’t move away without either of them making a sacrifice. Neither of them should have had to make that sacrifice.

earlier today I was just about knocked over by the realization that if you accept the full Statute of Finwë and Míriel as canonical, the entire tragedy of the Silmarillion and of the Noldor is basically built on the fact that a man felt entitled to a woman’s body despite her continued and consistent refusal of his advances

I absolutely do not believe that Tolkien intended to make this extremely feminist point but it sure as hell is a feminist point

[eldvarpa]

This is amazing, thank you!

(no idea how long tumblr will allow this to exist so enjoy while you can lol)

“We finally meet, nephew,” [Maedhros] said, while she was still unwrapping the headscarf that covered the rest of her face – a long black strip of silk, lined with gold embroidery like her tunic and trousers and gloves.

Maglor propped her long spiked club on the ground between her legs and rested her arms on the flat bottom of the handle. Her hair was pulled back from her face, making the angles and dips of her face stand out in an unsettling way, like she had just dumped an etching of herself on the chair next to Maedhros. She was bare-chested and barefoot. It would have been hard for anyone to imagine they were face to face with the most talented singer of the Ñoldor.

Gil-Galad hadn’t been expecting her to actually show up in Lindon dressed like that, despite Celebrimbor’s tales.”

- Orcs’ Brew by eldvarpa

I love the idea that very long-lived members of elven families end up with wildly different clothing and personal adornment styles - I don’t usually do it for purposes of visual cohesion between groups of elves, but when I read eld’s description here i was like YES THIS and had to draw it haha

[eldvarpa]

On Suretal

@finweanladiesweek, Entry 7: Freeform- Suretal, an OC of mine.

I wrote this for my own sake, so that I could bang out and jot down my hcs for Suretal, who I’ve had in several fics at this point. This needed to happen, and Freeform day was a good opportunity! If you like this too, that’s just a bonus!

A very short look at the life of Suretal the Seamstress, sister of Miriel Therindë .

Miriel was a little girl, and Suretal was only a bit bigger when they met. They’d never been quite sure of the age difference, too young and time too nebulous then to bother keeping track when the people who would have known for certain disappeared. Suretal had only known that the silver-haired girl was small, and she might run faster but she screamed louder, and it was her duty to pull the girl around her age into the bushes. Miriel had wailed and spit and bit at her hand, but Suretal kept her quiet and pinned while the dark ones prowled.

Then the slaughter dispersed a little and warriors from a neighboring camp came too late.

They hadn’t even known one another’s names, but they held hands as they were rescued and fed. They were washed together- their families’ blood scrubbed from their faces and hair- shepherded along to the next camp together, and they went to sleep together. The next morning, Suretal woke up to the little silver-haired girl staring at her, and she said, “My names Mirë.”

“Surië.”

Keep reading

[eldvarpa]

@finweanladiesweek DAY SEVEN: FREEFORM - THE DAUGHTERS OF FËANOR (AU - GENDERBENT):

Under the light of the Trees in days of old, Nerdanel bore Fëanor seven daughters. In Sindarin, their names were rendered as Maedhros, Maglor, Celegorm, Caranthir, Curufin, Amrod, and Amras. Mighty were their deeds, both fell and fair, and great was their shadow over the First Age. 

[eldvarpa]

@finweanladiesweek

Late for Day 6 - OCs

How Estelindë went from parentless soldier to Fëanáriel (though still an orphan).

Rated teen, 2015 words.

[eldvarpa]

@finweanladiesweek

Gathering some of my headcanons about Curufin’s wife for day 5.

I have at least two different versions of her.

(My general thoughts about Curufin’s wife and the dearth of Fëanorian women are here.)

Héruminyë / Mineth

#1 Mrs.Curufin is a Vanya with a Vanyarin father and a Ñoldorin mother.

Appearance-wise she takes entirely after her mother, therefore she looks like your average Ñoldo.

My fancast for her varies, but it’s always an Indian/Pakistani lady. One of my favourites (from here) is:

Her names are Héruminyë Áyamë in Quenya and she goes by Mineth in Sindarin.

We don't actually know much about Vanyarin naming traditions (iirc), and all named Vanyar have only one name, but I headcanon that her mother did give her a name too (though mother-names aren't required among the Ñoldor either, according to LaCE). Héruminyë means something like ‘first lord’. Áya instead means "awe" in Quenya, so Áyamë as a whole means 'she who makes awe', and is a reference to her occupation. She is a dancer, and got to know Maglor before she ever met Curufin. Maglor admired her and got along well with her, and since Maglor and Curufin have pretty similar personalities, once Curufin and Héruminyë were introduced they too liked each other quite a lot (though it’s Celegorm who often dances with her). I don't think they were ever 'in love' in an (overly) romantic way, but they worked well together, and figured getting married wouldn't hurt them. Curufin was very attentive to dynastic matters, and Héruminyë was very ambitious - arrogant too, and with a penchant for nonconformism inherited from her parents.   Her father is something of a “dissident” among the Vanyar - he would never openly rebel, but he’s not particularly enamoured with the whole 'praise the Valar' lifestyle, either. He doesn't follow his daughter to Middle-Earth, ofc, but he and his wife choose not to fight in the War of Wrath either, and make no mystery of the fact that they still do love their daughter and will continue to do so no matter what.

One of her mother's sisters is a Yavannildë, i.e. one of the women tasked with growing the corn from which coimas/lembas was made, and was instrumental in taking it to Middle-Earth. In one possible version of (my) canon, she marries Curufin around the time Fëanor makes the Silmarils (as in Treasure). She goes with her in-laws to Middle-Earth, and it's she who leads the mounted archers stationed at the Pass of Aglon. She goes on to survive the First Age, and leads the few surviving Fëanorians to safety. She doesn’t look for Celebrimbor ever again because once he renounces his father she's done with him (she wasn't a particularly motherly type to begin with). This is basically Curufin's wife in nearly all of my fics where she makes an appearance.

Ervanië / Lalveth

This (slightly) different version of Curufin’s wife is the daughter of one of Míriel’s handmaidens, Vanessë, and Curufin and she marry in a classical arranged marriage (though Curufin and she probably knew each other all their lives).

She’s named Ervanië after her mother (”single-beauty”) and Lalmien (”elm tree”). She goes by Lalveth in Sindarin, and I also have a completely made up version of her name (i.e. not really based on Tolkien’s grammar) in a Green elven-Avarin/Tatyarin dialect, Lalith (being the Curufin’s Wife that features in The Time of the Comet).

Appearance-wise, she’s pretty much the same as Héruminyë, but she is a hunter and a spinner+weaver (following in her mother and Míriel’s footsteps).

Her marriage to Curufin probably happens earlier than Héruminyë’s, but otherwise she too follows Curufin to ME with her mom and all the Míriel crew.

Instead of being just an archer, she’s also something of a scout and probably works with Amrod and Amras to create poisons to use on arrows, and with her job as a weaver she may also have supervised fabrics/clothes manufacturing and trade for a large section of the Fëanorian army/settlements.

When my Curufin’s wife dies in fic, she’s usually Ervanië, but I also want Ervanië to live on forever and ever, especially when daughters Amanísë and Tyelcarien and other son Tatharwenyo are around too (Shining with reflected light).

[eldvarpa]

@finweanladiesweek

I posted this a little ahead of schedule, but it fits with day 5.

Maglor/Maglor’s Wife slightly AU fic, with Ivárë being Maglor’s wife.

Rated Teen (it just has a tiny bit of non-explict sex)

4500+ words.

Ivárë finally leaves Valinor at the end of the First Age to look for her husband.

Read on AO3

[eldvarpa]

Glad to hear that!

I never got around to writing as much combative Curufin’s wife as I would have liked to, but I did post a few fics where she appears / is the protagonist as well as a ficlet with OC little Curufins over on AO3.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the factual non-existence of Curufin’s wife (and yes, I know the wives aren’t really characters in general but in this case we are never even explicitly told Curufin is married), as well as the total absence of (acknowledged) women from the Fëanorian side of things. Fëanor is the only one in his family who only has sons. Míriel is dead from the start, Nerdanel leaves before even the Darkening, there’s no granddaughter either, nothing. This is obviously because Tolkien’s elf women (not taking other categories or his general attitude towards women into consideration because that’s beside the point) aren’t antagonists or villains. Elf women, by and large, are ‘wiser’ than their male counterparts, prefer a quiet life, stay at home, and fight exclusively in a defensive/reactive capacity (Aredhel and Galadriel could be considered an exception to this, but Aredhel is punished with a disturbing fate, whereas Galadriel’s pride and desire to rule are normalised by her accepting to go back to Valinor in the end, and she never abandons the ‘good’ side anyway). So well, for me it’s intriguing to imagine Curufin’s wife as the exact opposite of the above - someone who was there to kinslay, and do the same terrible things her in-laws did, and who furthermore didn’t die, didn’t feel the need to say sorry, never showed any sign of wanting to go back to the fold, either (which didn’t endear her to historians). And Celebrimbor was not necessarily an only child. I mean, he is introduced - and that’s where the reader infers that Curufin had to be married - when he renounces his father (i.e. makes a morally admirable choice), so I think there’s ample room for a few other little Curufins who didn’t follow in their brother’s footsteps (and ultimately came to a better end, too). As for what kind of person she was, I’d venture she was pretty similar to Fëanor personality-wise (‘you remind me of my father’ is probably the best compliment Curufin could conceive of; she was probably the only person to ever receive it). Her father named her Héruminyë, and she lived up to that name. I also like the idea that she was a Vanya, but with a Ñoldorin mother, and looked 100% Ñoldo in appearance (so people just assumed she was a Ñoldo, because that’s where the bad guys are). In any case they were perfect partners in crime (literally), and their relationship was a working, fulfilling one that got glossed over because it was between the 'wrong’ people and was only ended by a kinslaying.

(Héruminyë = lord + first/prominent (woman), based on Persian name Shabana).

[eldvarpa]

I cannot bring myself to stan characters that are written to be stanned by the audience. It’s hard for me to root for the same people the narrative is rooting for, and not for the ones whose demise was hinted since the beginning of the story. I don’t know why

[eldvarpa]

Celegorm got Kírin the Cat when he was naught but a 10 year old elfling. Seeing his interest in animals, Fëanáro got him the cat. He was to look after Kírin as much as possible.

But one day he could not find her. He looked and looked. He even got his big brother Kano's help. Made him promise not to tell anyone. Finally in the evening they found her.

Everything was well...

Until original Kírin came back and saw herself replaced by a lookalike. She was Not Impressed. A great battle for honour ensued. Celegorm carried those tiny battle scar until his death. It was a defeat against a much worthier foe after all.

And practiced his Cattish Language even more. Obviously.

The less said about his family's reaction, the better.

Based on-

I'm like 1000% sure this happened to Celegorm when he was a kid.

[eldvarpa]

me? letting an entire fic play out in my head from beginning to end and not writing a single thing down, thus forever sealing it in my brain as a self-indulgent relic that will never see the light of day?? 

it’s exactly as likely as you think

[eldvarpa]

Yeah? And if one turned the face eastwards the left hand pointed right at Morgoth, and if southwards it pointed right towards Cuiviénen!

Oh right, I forgot that the East must always come with an evil alert/negativity attached to it.

And if the left hand was not considered ‘evil’ why is the word for ambidextrous still ‘double-righthanded’ (ataformaitë) and not something like ‘hya[r]formaitë’?

A mystery!