eldritchanchovy

[eldritchanchovy]

they used to make smackable technology. you used to be able to hit your tv when it didn't work good.

[eldritchanchovy]

Hi new friends. Please don’t censor words, especially triggering ones. Seeing trigger words written l!ke th!s doesn’t stop them from being triggering.

It just stops Tumblr’s built in filter (see under settings) from working which many of us have in place to protect ourselves.

This has happened to me multiple times this week, and as someone currently struggling with suicidal ideation, has not been great.

You are not on TikTok or Insta, please use the full words so people can protect themselves. Thank you 💖

[eldritchanchovy]

i wonder if magic is real, but only in a really mundane way.

when i was little i could almost inerringly switch back to disney channel right as the ads ended when i was channel surfing.

maybe youve never accidentally crushed a ladybug underfoot. maybe your microwave popcorn never burns. maybe you can spin around lots and lots of times before you get dizzy.

is that magic??

honestly im not sure if these are magic or just small, invisible skills. im not sure which i like better.

[eldritchanchovy]

[eldritchanchovy]

[eldritchanchovy]

[eldritchanchovy]

this will be the year I finally convince everyone to abandon New Year's resolutions in favour of Yule Boasting, the clearly superior tradition

[eldritchanchovy]

and what if I told you nine was less afraid of love than ten. what then.

[eldritchanchovy]

The first time I heard an adult say the f word was when I was in fourth grade and we were doing some project that involved us baking cookies together as a class. My teacher Ms. Lindsey, who was real sweet, was demonstrating for everybody and she asked if anyone knew how to crack an egg, and I really didn’t know how to crack an egg, but I’m a go-getter, so I raised my hand and she called on me. I instantly knew I was in trouble at that point but I’d seen my dad crack eggs hundreds of times so I figured, ya know, it can’t be thaaaat hard. So I grab the egg but I have no sense of how softly you’re supposed to tap an egg to crack it, so I just slam it against the desk and splatter raw egg ten feet in every direction and my teacher said “what the fuck, Dion?”

[eldritchanchovy]

[Video transcript:] Person angrily yelling: “–fucking computers bullshit. It’s fucking sick! It’s not cool anymore! It’s not fun! It’s not fun to be on the fucking computer! They changed everything about it! It used to be so coooool!”

[eldritchanchovy]

Also, I am just going to say it:

If your CEO is so inconsequential to the success of your company that he can be gunned down in the street like a dog and it has absolutely no impact on your company whatsoever, maybe he doesn't actually need to be paid several hundred times as much as your median employee.

Maybe you could get away with, like, ten to fifteen times and spend the extra tens of millions of dollars you save on something else.

Just thinking out loud.

[eldritchanchovy]

Lies I have told children ages 7-9

I am five billion years old

My name is Snuffalufagus Bartholomew Von Maximus the Third

I'm in Kindergarten because after college they make you start again all the way back in the beginning.

[eldritchanchovy]

Archaeologists in 3082: The USamerican mythology surrounding the winter solstice included horror stories of a being called the mariocari. From the surviving texts from the time, the mariocari was a humanoid being which encased itself in ice most of the year but roamed the lands when the temperature became colder. It would stalk the lands and drive its victims into madness and panic by relentlessly singing a song at them. The song in question was about the mariocari's desire to possess the victim (There are arguments over whether this meant it harvested peoples' souls or simply ate them).

Some archaeologists believe the mariocari myth was created when Japanese and Greek peoples came into contact and it is a fusion of the yuki-onna and sirens. Other archaeologists claim the mariocari was instead envisioned as a daughter of the USamerican god Danny Devito.

[eldritchanchovy]

[eldritchanchovy]

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

[eldritchanchovy]

Ugh. I hate the current political climate. Trump is trash. I miss when we had REAL, GOOD presidents like *opens up a history book* umm... *keeps flipping* uhh... *frantically searches* oh Jesus oh god

[eldritchanchovy]

[ID: Post by rewinn on some social media platform I don’t recognize. (Maybe Threads? IDK?)

“My father whipped his five boys, as Tucker Carlson recommends.

What were the results?

I left home at the age of 13 and never looked back.

Two of my brothers died of substance abuse problems.

My other two brothers tried raising their kids the way he did; as adults, none of their kids speak to them, and I don't think they're allowed to see their grandkids.

LESSON: It is normal to hate people who hurt you.”

]