el-zapato-centelleante-blog - Tumblr blog

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i just walked past 2 construction dudes and one of em just said “i don’t think they’re right-handed or left-handed. they’re just dogs.”

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mountains or coastlines? driving along the highway during the day or driving through a forest at night? lavender or rose? celtic mythology or greek mythology? hot chocolate or coffee? literature or fine art? gold or silver? libraries or museums? cities or the countryside? dusk or dawn?

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people in high school used to call me "succulent tendril" due to my habit of sprouting rather succulent tendrils from my body that classmates could pick and consume, to their endless delight

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the moment when she decided she was going to kill him

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Many of us know Olive Garden’s slogan When You’re Here, You’re Family.  Well, I recently put that to the test.

The tables were wooden and nice to sit at.  The chairs were also comfortable.  The view wasn’t anything special, but there was a pretty cool looking van in the Walmart parking lot that had flames on its sides. 

I was immediately offered wine, and after admitting I was underage, refused wine.  If you’re going to offer me wine, please don’t rescind your offer.  It’s common courtesy.

The napkins were probably the highlight.  They were cloth and worked really well at cleaning the windows.  One waiter told me I didn’t have to do that, but I insisted.  After all, I like a good, clear view of parking lots.  Who doesn’t.

Finally, it was time to order.  I went with the pizza.  The menu said I could pick four toppings, so I chose half portions of eight toppings.  There were only seven to choose from, though, so I made one up.  “…and blorgaspork.”

“Sorry?  What is blorgaspork?”

“That’s your job to know, now isn’t it.”

After a reasonable wait, my food arrived.  It was a really good meal, not exactly overpriced, but not exactly underpriced either.  It was just priced.

My waiter soon arrived and asked me if I wanted dessert. 

“Steve,” I said, “Have a seat.”

He did.

“I have this business idea.  And while I’m here, and we’re family, I was hoping you could give me a loan.”

Steve tried to laugh it off.  Like it was some kind of joke.  I was offended and he could tell.  “Steve, this isn’t a joke.”

Steve looked a bit nervous.  I grabbed his hands and pinned them to the table.  “Are we family or not, Steve.”

“Not in the literal sense…” said Steve.  I wasn’t going to let him reason his way out of this one. 

“Look, Steve.  I cleaned your windows.  Family does that for each other.  They clean each others’ windows.  Now, don’t you think I deserve that loan?  We’re family, Steve, we’re family.”

Steve handed me 13 bucks.  “Thanks, Steve.”

★★★☆☆

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Gattaca (1997)

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Everything I’ve ever known and held dear is a lie.

I was so disappointed when I found out it's actually "Neutral Milk Hotel" and not "Neural Milk Hotel". I really enjoyed the imagery of a lactant brain that doubles as a lodging ground for weary travelers; I thought it was some sort of quirky metaphor. I don't even know what to think about Neutral Milk Hotel. What even is neutral milk? Is it some sort of middle-ground substitute for people who refuse to debate over all the other types of milk (whole versus two percent versus almond versus soy versus goat tit juice versus whatever the f*ck that substance is that comes out of the Pacific beetle cockroach which is definitely not milk at all, et cetera)? I’m really conflicted right now.