efflorescent-anathema

[efflorescent-anathema]

me: i want to feel something

emotions: okay here you go

me: Put It Back

[efflorescent-anathema]

I just left my husband alone with our two children for sixteen days. I was not worried about anything regarding the house, their food, or their wellbeing. I put all the appointments in the family calendar and my husband checked it and kept them. I literally did not worry about them. I missed them, and I was sad that they missed me, but I didn’t worry about them AT ALL. I need to impress upon you all that I missed their company, but was not worried for their welfare.

I also did no meal prep. I don’t even think I went shopping right before I left.

This is not about apples and oranges. This isn’t even about my husband. This is about the fact that this is apparently WEIRD.

Another mum at my daughter’s school is leaving for ten days. She’s taking her youngest (who is a very small baby) and leaving her husband with their two girls. She has been cooking for days preparing freezer meals. She’s panicking and deputizing her six year old to remind him how to make school lunches. AND I AM APPALLED.

A) He is definitely not helpless. (He’s a doctor or something.) What gendered bullshit. B) THAT LITTLE GIRL IS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HER AND HER SISTER’S WELLBEING. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. C) Why is she married to this person and creating children with him if he’s this big of an idiot?

While she was laughingly recounting this, the other mums were nodding and smiling sympathetically, like oh yes, I too have my caveman at home!! Such managing required! I was the only one who was like “Dude, he’ll be fine. Literally. He will be fine.” I said it a lot. She was not convinced. She kept bringing up her older daughter. She’ll be like a little mum!

NO.

NO NO NO NO.

NO.

Straight women, don’t do this shit. It’s gross. Don’t infantilize your husbands and then expect your daughters to pick up the slack. So fucking gross. So. So. GROSS.

[efflorescent-anathema]

[efflorescent-anathema]

(to the tune of uptown girl) uptown rat. he wears a very silly pointy hat

[efflorescent-anathema]

(to the tune of uptown girl) uptown rat. he wears a very silly pointy hat

[efflorescent-anathema]

“There’s a Japanese phrase that I like: koi no yokan. It doesn’t mean love at first sight. It’s closer to love at second sight. It’s the feeling when you meet someone that you’re going to fall in love with them. Maybe you don’t love them right away, but it’s inevitable that you will.”

— Nicola Yoon, The Sun Is Also a Star

[efflorescent-anathema]

What true love looks like.

OKAY SO I had a coworker who was otherwise a standard clueless Straight White Guy, but this dude loved his wife and he knew her real good. And his wife LOVES shitty grocery store icing. So the first thing she’d always do with any cake is shove her fingers into the corner and scoop off whatever abomination of a flower was on there and eat it off her fingers. SO THIS DUDE GOES TO THE STORE AND HAS THEM MAKE A WHOLE CAKE OUT OF FROSTING Brings it home to his wife for her birthday She shoves her fingers into it and then they just keep going FROSTING ALL THE WAY DOWN He said the look on her face was the best thing he’d ever seen in his life It gives me hope that even a clueless Straight White Guy knew and loved his wife enough to give her the perfect birthday present cake frosting abomination

And I love to imagine the conversation he had to have with the grocery store bakery.

[efflorescent-anathema]

i always imagined kiwi birds as the size of kiwi fruit and i was so wrong

[efflorescent-anathema]

This long text post brought (BACK) to you by yet more antisemitic bullshit flooding my dash and inbox.

[efflorescent-anathema]

You don’t have to fake orgasm to help your partner’s ego. The guy I lost my virginity to wrote a play about the experience, and the character based on me gave a monologue about how she regretted sleeping with him because no one else would ever be that good. So, yeah. Just tell him you didn’t cum. 

[efflorescent-anathema]

Shout out to strawberries, keep up the good work little red dudes.

[efflorescent-anathema]

wish i were alive in 2000 BCE so i could have devoted my life to the moon goddess and die at the old age of 28

[efflorescent-anathema]

via weheartit

[efflorescent-anathema]

[efflorescent-anathema]

a person from 150 years ago would be terrified by modern stuff . however , a duck from 150 years ago would just be all like ,still got lakes? yes ? okay cool

[efflorescent-anathema]

98% waning gibbous Moon | 11% waning crescent Moon 

by Bartosz Wojczyński

[efflorescent-anathema]

“The older I get, the more I see how women are described as having gone mad, when what they’ve actually become is knowledgeable and powerful and fucking furious.”

— Sophie Heawood (via herpaperweight)