edwinaclussy-archive

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“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.”

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mcggiemon‌:

maggie immediately straightened up when ed went to grab the sides of her face, she wasn’t pulling away per se but the gloved hands towards her face surprised her. once in edwina’s clutches maggie couldn’t help but chuckle at the silliness of it all, trying to keep her eyes wide for her to see if they were red. blinking them rapidly once her face was let go, trying to regain moisture to her eyes. “ cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, ” she said, swiping a loose lock out of her features.

what ed said next caught the blonde for a moment, “ oh, don’t be sorry, don’t be silly ” maggie assured, though she had missed ed at sacristan club. without the other it was mainly seniors. sure, ed was a junior, but that was closer.  “ nothing, really. just, you know, trying to scent drown the great stink. ” she said, holding up the air fresheners around her neck before letting them drop again.  oh! a new calf was born on the farm the other day, that was really exciting. ” she added, before she backtracked to something ed had said. “ are you feeling better? you don’t look sick. ” it was a simple observation, and meant to be a compliment. if it had been anyone else but maggie it may have been a suspicion that ed had never been sick at all. “ jamie said you wanted to go pay your respects to the rabbbit, did you end up doing that? ” she asked.

Edwina had been worried some people might think Jamie’s satanism had finally crawled and took over her brain like a parasite to explain her absence. However, it was quite a relief knowing that Maggie wasn’t going to ask if she was suddenly worshipping the infernal names. “Wow, I think you’ve got the right idea there.” she applauded, taking one of Maggie’s dangly pine trees on her neck and giving it a whiff. It really was a breath of fresh air against all the icky smell around them. “I think I might steal your idea. They have cotton candy ones at Walmart! Want me to grab you some?”

Anything baby related caught Ed’s attention. The idea of a newborn cow learning to walk and looking up at her with it’s doll eyes made the girl let out an ‘awwwwww!’ Edwina cooed, placing her hands on her heart, “That’s so cute!! Did you guys name him yet?” If Maggie didn’t ask if she wanted to see the baby calf then Edwina was probably just going to invite herself over. “Oh uh yeah I took some vitamins so I’m feeling better! Just wanna keep away from a few more days for good measure, ya know? Couldn’t get Faith sick, right? Who’d win all the field hockey tournaments then!”

Edwina was intending on paying her respects to the rabbit, but she just never could bring herself to do it. She knew it’d probably her to face her fears and start moving on, but Edwina couldn’t accept something when there was still so many questions. Perhaps she’d get something out of it though. Maybe not complete acceptance that it was all just a bear like every nun and father had been telling her, but maybe something to ease her troubled mind. “No, but I was thinking of going now. . . want to join?”

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jamesonward‌:

Jamie stared blankly at Edwina’s disappointment. What was it with teenage girls and everything amounting to romance? Jamie liked an artfully crafted happy ending riddled with cliches now and again, but in movies. Real-life wasn’t a movie and it was pretty clear that if it was one, he wasn’t the protagonist of it. 

“Not really in the mood to be joking around,” he told her, though whether he was ever in the mood for such a thing was to be found.

“I offered to take photos of her for her Instagram and it turned into a fight so I was just wondering if she was…” Mentally scarred. “Doing alright. It’s fine, though. We made up.”

Did they, though? Everything that followed his impromptu apology was a blur. From Kat’s guilt at the hospital, then their moonlit photoshoot that only illuminated how different they were, Jamie still had no idea where they stood with each other if anywhere. He hated thinking about it as much as he hated being questioned about his motives like he should just instinctively know what he was doing just because he could do long division in his head.

Jamie gave Edwina a withering look as her expression grew worried and pensive. It was his best mode of defense in a losing situation when he bore evidence so boldly under his clothes, in his personality, in his head. If being caught in a constant stream of trouble had taught him anything, it was how to lie to the faces of people who gave a shit. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m covered in lacerations,” he said, gesturing to the remnants of bruising and cuts on his cheeks.

“There are other things you should be worrying about, like your BFF partaking in illicit activities. You need to take care of that.”

If Edwina smoked, then she’d be rubbing her temples and taking out a cigarette right about now. Every time Jamie got into some sort of altercation or pissed someone off, it made her realize why her dad spent his money on coffee and Newports every morning while her mother liked to drink alone every once in awhile. “What were you even fighting about?” she asked, now just as unamused as he was before. “I’m glad you guys made up though. Kat’s actually been really really nice to me lately. I think it’s mostly because she thinks I’m pregnant, but I might milk this a bit.”

She expected this kind of resistance for him to open up. They were close, at least Edwina liked to believe Jamie thought so too, but that was a deeply troubling thing for anyone to talk about out loud. “I don’t mean those, Jamie.” she said, pointing to the yellowing black and blues covering his face or the scabbing over reminders of what Damian had done. “He said. . .” ‘Down the road, not across the street.’ She doesn’t let the words get past her lips, but Dylan’s voice saying it plays in her head rather clearly. It’s been playing like that since the conversation. “He said that it looked like you were hurting yourself on your arms. . . Dylan said that he thought I knew. Just. . . look, I know that life hasn’t been, or is, peaches and cream for you. It’s totally unfair and you know I think you deserve better than everything that’s been thrown at you, but I’m just really concerned about you, Jamie. We can get you help.”

Jamie throwing her own issues back in her face caught her off guard. Edwina looked at the floor to avoid his eyes. She felt a lot shame for 1) not noticing Jamie was hurting himself and 2) that Raquel ODing was essentially her fault. She’d been a pretty shit friend. “I’m trying to fix it. I swear I’m trying. When I see her it’s like she avoids me and it’s because we both know it’s my fault.” She still couldn’t bring herself to look back up, but her hands motioned to the boy to let him know she was going back to him, “I can help you too though. You’re both my friends. I can’t lose you both. Look, I promise you guys I’m going to be more observant.”

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dylsson‌:

Dylan looked at the tiny fist on the table, an air of smugness following in a smile because she was just so flinchy. He wondered if she was as jumpy with her friends, with Jamie. He wouldn’t imagine the two fucking around in a locked classroom without little Eds having a meltdown probably. “Okay, fuck, it’s a joke. Jeez, you’re so defensive.” He diffused, raising his shoulders high in surrender, his hands gesturing out at the situation. He didn’t give a fuck if it was a joke or not, or if she really was into Hello Kitty butt plugs or whatever. That wasn’t the point of him being here.

“Okay sure but like when I accidentally stepped on the photo,” Crushed it with feeling, more like. “He got like, heaps angry about it. Really shitty, actually. I was just asking about it and stuff and he got so weird about it. Uh, Kat, I mean. Kind of like, I don’t know, I shouldn’t be asking about her? He totally told me to stay away from her. He said the same about you. Which I get because you two are like a thing, right? Makes sense. The Kat thing? Not so much.” Okay, so all of that was pretty fabricated but who cared? The more he lied, the more Edwina would get wrong if she asked Jamie about it, ergo the more he’d try to prove to her the truth, and who knew… maybe it would play out like he was being defensive or something. He just wanted to make a mess of things, that was the point here and what better way to start than with a lie? Whatever, he just hoped Jamie would catch a glimpse of him chatting up his girlfriend, that was the real mark to make here. Where the fuck was that freakazoid anyway?

“Yeah.” He let it hang for a long moment, staring at Edwina while she stared back at him. Then… it started to tweak, and Dylan honest to God had to try not to grin in triumph. Oh. Oh boy. She didn’t know. “You know, down the road, not across the street.” He lifted a hand up then and traced a fingertip across his wrists in a lazy slashing motion, before dropping his closest arm on the back of her chair again just in time for her to express pack her things and stand up. Quickly, Dylan sat bolt upright, following her to his own feet a second later to wedge himself between her and the exit. “I’m not lying though!” He shot defensively, finally telling the truth. “Look, I know we’ve never said more than like, two words to each other but he seems like he cares about you.” The hissing at Dylan to stay away from Edwina proved that anyway. “I just thought like… you knew. Cause I’ve seen ‘em. The scars. They’re pretty bad, so I just figured it was something you guys talked about, you know because you two are going out and all. But then the thing with the pictures happened and I just wanted to like, make sure he wasn’t duping you for Kat or some shit. I’m just trying to help. Sorry if it like… came off offensive or something, I’m fucking shit with convo-executions, people tell me that a lot, so my bad.” Dylan was good at bullshitting, if he could get paid to do it he’d have enough money to set himself up somewhere cool like Hawaii or something. Unfortunately, the only thing he could spend his skills on at the moment was high school drama but whatever, it worked. “Look, sorry if you didn’t know. You should talk to him probably. It looked pretty serious. But you should probably worry about the Kat thing too. I’m just saying.”

“I’m not--!” she takes another breath, not wanting to fall trap to it. Though, it’s a little too late to pretend like she’s mellow when he voice begins to crack. “I’m not defensive, I just have a hard time handling negative attention.” Just like now.

“He told you what?” Although Edwina would love for Dylan to stand away from her at all times until graduation, she still didn’t think that was Jamie’s place to tell people to keep out from her. Edwina certainly stuck her nose in her friend’s business, but other people making choices like that for her upset the girl and her friends knew that. She told Jamie that when she let him know she didn’t need her battles fought for her. “Look, I am a big girl and I can determine who I let talk to me on my own.” Which was bullshit. Edwina rarely could tell anyone to fuck off so Raquel had just been doing it for her under her nose for years. “And the Kat thing well. . . I don’t know he uh probably just got upset you ruined the photo. Developed photos don’t grow on trees. . . well, part of them do because it’s paper, but most of the composition is light-sensitive emulsion, consisting of silver halide salts suspended in a colloidal material.”

Hearing him say that, Edwina swallows a lump in her throat and feels it practically drop into her stomach. “Okay, stop it!” she insists, shutting her eyes tight to get the image out of her head. She thinks of the bunny again, but only this time it’s Jamie bleeding from his wrists out on those hard and gloomy grey stairs. The only thing more frightening than the image of Jamie bleeding out is Dylan physically blocking her from leaving. There’s people around so it’s not like he’s going to just toss her in a trashcan right then and there, but there’s still and unsafe and alertness as she clutches her belongings to her chest. 

She sighs hearing his fabricated explanation. As someone who has a shitty time saying what she means and formulating sentences that aren’t cringe-worthy, she falls for it like a fly in a spiders web. “I get it. . . It’s okay, I’m sorry I came off cold. I just. . . yeah that’s a little hard to swallow.” At least the self harm was. The Kat thing was like a beacon of light to this depressing conversation. “But uh. . . the cuts and stuff you saw. . . did he say anything about them? Are you sure he did them? Maybe it was an accident. I mean, sometimes I knick myself when I shave! Maybe that’s it?. . . Right?”

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emmahayashi‌:

Turns out ‘please’ really is the magic word. After Emma says it, Edwina opens up like that. Emma listens intently – of course, she does, she’s been after this information for what feels like ages even it’s probably only been like two days. She fights the urge to get out a notepad and scribble down what Edwina says word for word as she goes on, not wanting to lose a single detail of this whole bit of the conversation. Red pooling down the steps, a gash on it. Cut like it was meant to die? A warning? A taunt? She flicks her gaze upwards when Edwina trails off, meeting her eyes and gulping subtly at her admittance. Sheesh, no wonder Edwina wants to keep her trap shut about this thing. Emma can almost picture the gruesome scene like she’s there.

For the first time, Emma feels deep regret for not having heard that scream. Stupid Maddy with her stupid music making Emma fall asleep with Spotify blasting into her ears. She sighs, feeling a bit of sympathy for Edwina because it does sound fucking crazy. And maybe it is. But it’s not like Emma is any better on the sanity front since she’s decided to invest her time and energy into this… whatever it is they’re trying to solve. She’s not even sure why she’s so committed. Maybe she just doesn’t like how it doesn’t add up. Emma’s big on specific explanations and reasons for things so it doesn’t sit right with her to be given an answer that makes no sense.

It’s tough to swallow what Edwina says next but she doesn’t want the girl to feel like a lunatic for expressing her thoughts. She knows what it’s like to have your stance disregarded. So against everything she normally stands for, “I believe you,” is what she utters next, low and quiet, because she can’t believe she’s saying it. It’s fucking stupid and cheesy because she didn’t even hear the scream in the first place. But she doesn’t want Edwina to lose her mind. She’s incredibly smart even if she cries a lot and she’s like, been super fucking nice for the most part. She’s not saying she’s equipped to deal with whatever Edwina’s thing is, but if squirrel girl wants to like sit quietly in a room with someone and not talk, Emma can be there for that. 

“Look, it definitely wasn’t a bear. I’m not sure what it is in those woods but it’s something they’re trying to keep out with all the security back there.” She chews on her lower lip. “But we’re going to figure it out. You’re not crazy,” Emma insists before turning to her bag again to get a small notebook out and jot down all of the details before they get fuzzy in her mind. “What do you know about Maggie?” Emma ask as she scribbles down her notes. “Why doesn’t she think it’s strange?” Emma can’t help but hang on that detail because a supposedly blood-curdling scream does not seem like something that should be regarded as ‘normal’.

There’s something about ‘I believe you’ that makes Edwina release a breath she didn’t realize she was still holding it. She feels as though she’s carrying so much so Emma showing kindness (even if forced) makes her feel like she’s Atlas resting her shoulders for a moment from having to hold up the sky. Dabbing her eyes with a tissue, Edwina realizes she’s still tearing up. Now, it’s not at the memory of what she saw that morning, but now it’s because she feels thankful. “Hey, Emma, I just want you to know something.” she starts, sniffling back everything and crumpling the mascara painted tissue in her hand, “I know talking and crying and venting isn’t really your scene, but. . . If you ever need someone to talk to ever then I’m here for you. You’re my friend.” Maybe Emma never agreed to a friendship, but Edwina speaks it into existence anyway so it’s too late now.

Edwina leans in a bit, her finger digging into the table and poking at it with every word for emphasis. “Keeping it out doesn’t make it go away.” she whispers, “It’s not going to stop unless it’s gone.” Leaning back, Edwina is a bit shocked that Emma is questioning Maggie. “Maggie? I mean have you met her-- she probably doesn’t think it’s weird because she doesn’t want to believe there’s something bad afoot. She’s so sweet!” A moment of silence lingers. “Why are you asking. . .?”

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damianfitz‌:

It’s the sound that gets to Damian. Before the sting of her hand does. The slap that turns his head rings so sharp, it practically whizzes down the halls for everyone to hear. The pain from it sets slowly then faster and faster once his brain has jostled through the initial shock of it. Already, he knows how pink and Edwina’s hand-shaped his cheek will look throughout the day. His only real annoyance over the matter is that Edwina is doing this on behalf of Jamie. 

Slowly, the assaulted moves his head and faces forward again, blue eyes cold and hard as it lands on the Melleray girl’s stony face. He’s aware that there are eyes on them, that people have witnessed this very humiliating and public shaming that is tiny, tiny Edwina Clussy hitting him straight across the face. It makes his lips tremble with annoyance because it’s just another thing that will keep his name among the trending topics in Broadripple’s hallowed halls, right up there with that goddamn bear. All he wants is for everything to die down but it seems the Lord isn’t done with him yet. Though, keeping in mind who this slap is for, this must be Satan’s work.

Damian breathes in deep through the nose and lets it out slowly. He’s not going to feed into this or be shattered by it. He has other things of more importance to be concerned with.

“Are you done?” There’s no trace of warmth is in his voice. A completely strange thing for Damian to experience since he’s always treated Edwina with such kindness. Then again being slapped by Edwina is an equally strange thing for Damian to experience – if not stranger – so he’s unsure why he cares how foreign it all is.

As someone who acts 90% on emotion, the challenge of ‘are you done?’ almost makes Edwina show him an answer with another hard slap. Instead, her nostrils flare and twitch as she tries to control herself from hitting the Fenwick captain again. Not because she doesn’t want to get in more trouble or because it’s not the right thing to do-- she just knows this time around he’d expect it. The thought of Damian ninja grabbing her hand and probably snapping it with ease is enough to make her not hit him again.

“Are you done?” she scoffs. Though, Edwina doesn’t even know what she means by that remark. It just sounds taunting. After a second of trying to think of what to say, she glares up at him. “Are you done hurting people? Being a big phony?” Granted though, Edwina had just hurt Damian and she herself was a phony. Still, she’d argue that. . . okay maybe she wasn’t a better person than Damian. That whole internal monologue could wait for confession or her diary though.

Still not satisfied, her mouth speaks before her brain and Edwina ends up saying the most harmful thing that she could to Damian.

“I hope your dogs never let you pet them again!”

[edwinaclussy-archive]

jamesonward‌:

Coming back to yearbook had been a trial with his sudden abundance of regulated tasks to do following the beat-down and what felt like a whole day of panic attacks after the school had gotten a hold of Frank but it was nice to return to some semblance of normalcy. The Murder club was reduced to rubble after the discovery of the bear, but it wasn’t a horrible thing. Jamie was getting a taste of what it felt like to be a real teenager and not a clumsily written detective in a YA novel for kids and while it was enlightening, he was more than happy to return to being reclusive under the warm glow of his laptop. 

The peace didn’t last long, but he’d grown accustomed to Edwina’s loud entrances. Missed them, even, during all the time he’d had to take off.

Jamie’s eyes flicked up at her from behind the screen, unimpressed. “First of all, at which point in time would I have told you? Between getting hospitalized and forced into mandatory check-ins with Erlandson? Or maybe after dodging everyone who wants a piece of me all of a sudden? Secondly, I don’t have a crush on Katherine Bishop, so there wouldn’t be anything to tell.”

He typed a few more lines before lifting his head, cocking it as he leaned onto his elbows. “I saw you talking to Dylan Thompson. Don’t believe anything he says, he’s a liar.”

Straddling a nearby chair like she was a hip youth minister, she frowned as her chin rest on the chair’s back. “You certainly know how to rain on my parade.” she sighed, “I’m just teasing you, Jamie. You don’t have to take everything so literal. . . HOWEVER.” She sits up straight and is ready to debate. Eds had to admit that she missed fighting with him the most when he was out of school. “However, I still find your behavior suspicious. Care to explain the pictures you supposedly have of her? Why you’re asking everyone and their mother about her?”

Edwina thought Dylan was a pain in the ass and terrifying, but she wasn’t sure if he was a liar or not. She had a hard time trusting everything he told her, but some of the darker bits did not seem stranger than fiction. She wanted to pretend like he hadn’t told her Jamie was hurting himself, but maybe she was just making it worse by avoiding it. “Alright well. . .” she started, chewing the inside of her mouth a bit as she watched Jamie, “If he’s a liar then I shouldn’t have to worry about the story he told me that he saw cuts on your body. . .?”

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onesmolpaul‌:

Paul slowly untied her tie from her face and gave Edwina’s shoulder a small bump, “It’s all good, Ed-Edd and Eddy. Don’t sweat it.” Paul squinted as she read the label on the bottle and shrugged, “Almost got it, though! And for all I know there is a Karla Kardashian out there, so…” She chuckled at the berry pun and took the bottle from Edwina, spraying some more away from them, “For good measure.” She furrowed her brows, concerned. “Crying? Why you been crying, Ed? Is it because of the bear? Are you okay? Is your rover okay? Somebody bugging you? Are they from Seton? Because I will punch them…” She rambled, already rolling up her sleeves, ready to protect her friend despite her scrawny build.

Edwina couldn’t help but sigh at the nickname. Still, she smiled. Afterall, it was more clever than when people called her ‘Clussy’. “Yeah, it smells like--” Edwina stops herself from saying ‘ass’. She’s been cursing more than usual lately. Perhaps she should try and quell how many times she says ‘fuck’ in a day now. “It smells like booty. Anyway, spritz as much as ya want. Mi perfume es su perfume.” she laughs, though her Spanish sounds impeccably white (no surprise there). 

Taken aback by Paul’s concern, Edwina nervously laughed and flapped her wrist back and forth. “O-Oh you know me, I just cry at everything-- even milk that’s not spilt.” As Paul mentions Seton, she thinks of all the Seton house members she knows. There’s Paul (obviously), then Jamie’s roommate whom she never talks to or makes eye contact with when she visits his room, Kori who tormented her but seemed to be MIA now, and Gwen-- Suddenly Ed’s face gets rather red thinking of Paul’s house captain. 

Edwina take’s Paul’s hand and rolls one of her sleeves back down for her. “You’re not fighting anyone. I’m okay, I pinky promise.” she insists, holding her pinky finger out. “The rover is. . . coming alongggg. . .?” she says, but theres uncertainty and a cringe dripping in her voice. Edwina had drawn up the plans and got Emma to agree to basically rob her father for the funds to buy parts, but. . . building was slow. “I could use a second brain. What are you up to? Want to see what I’ve got so far?”

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With only a sliver of vague information Dylan had given Edwina about Jamie’s fascination with Kat, Edwina had deduced that it must be infatuation. It was less about facts that she had on the matter and more about how Edwina gets excited over romance. It was really no wonder why the Murder Club had yet to get any promising leads on their investigation considering Edwina only heard things she wanted to and just made up the rest (like in the case of Jamie’s love life). 

Practically kicking in the yearbook office door, Edwina honed in on her fake bae like she had some sort of Terminatoreque Jamie-Vision. 

“JAMIE WARD.”  she called out, sounding as if she was about to challenge him to a YuGiOh battle or some other made up game from a Saturday morning cartoon. “Do you have a crush on Katherine Bishop and didn’t tell me??” Edwina was mostly teasing, but to quote the great philosopher Sammie Lewis, she wanted the ‘mother fuckin’ tea’. “What’s the deal?”

//@jamesonward​

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ofkatherinebishop‌:

@edwinaclussy

The extremely random formation of Broadripple’s official agriculture club had come at a good time for Katherine Bishop. Not only did she enjoy being outdoors and working with plants but the cultivating of seedlings and pulling of weeds was a welcome distraction from the broken hearts and broke noses that plagued the Academy’s hallways.

Though she’d already been yelled at twice for neglecting her sun safety, she pushed her sun hat off of her head and let it hang by the string around her neck as she approached Edwina with a warm smile. “Hey,” she greeted pleasantly, brushing her hair off of her face and wiping a small smudge of dirt from her cheek, “How are you feeling?” she asked once they had a moment or two alone or close to it anyway. She wasn’t convinced that playing farmhand was an ideal role for the pregnant teenager but as long as Clussy was careful (with Kat’s assistance of course), she figured they could get away with it. “Do you want to go for a little stroll? We could talk a bit,” she suggested, though the tone of her voice implied that it was more of a request than a casual offer.

Edwina certainly liked being outside. However, she did not like the sun beaming down on her bare skin. With every droplet of sweat traveling down the back of her neck, she could envision a visit to the doctor for sun poisoning or getting foreign freckles examined on her body for traces of skin cancer. Kat may have been neglecting her sunscreen, but the blonde caught the short junior girl practically lathering up with SPF 90 as if it was some sort of Lush body butter.

“Hi, Kat!” she greeted back, chipper as ever. It was kind of nice to have a feeling of joy when seeing Kat now instead of the other millions of things she’d felt for the past year when she said the snow colored bob walk her way. “Oh I’m feeling dandy! I had a three waffles this morning cause I’m eating for two now.” she lied, rubbing her stomach like she saw pregnant girls in TV shows do. Edwina had been watching a lot of Secret Life of the American Teenager to get into the role of teen mom. Kat thinking she was pregnant wasn’t ideal, but it did give her a good excuse to excessively eat and know Kat couldn’t judge her. “Sure!” she agreed, but could quickly pick up in the tone of Kat’s voice that something was up.

Edwina began to walk towards the Clary gardens while squeezing a generous glob of hand sanitizer into her hands to get some of the icky dirt feeling off. “So, anything on your mind?” she asked, waiting for the catch to come. Edwina thought about her talk with Dylan and how Jamie seemed to have this new obsession with Kat. Eds had been quiet about it, but her hopeless romantic little heart had convinced itself that Jamie had a crush on Kat. With that in mind, she wondered if maybe this was what it was about. Edwina wasn’t sure if she could convincingly fake being devastated over Jamie if Kat was about to tell her they were a thing. “If somethings the matter you can always talk to me about it! I’m super chill. I’m like Elsa in a freezer chill.”

[edwinaclussy-archive]

raqueltorrance‌:

Raquel had only just arrived back to campus. Well, maybe not just. She had been in town and on campus for a little while now, she had only just come out of hiding since she had returned. The girl was avoiding being out in the common areas for a little while, preferring to stay locked up in her new room to avoid the very situation that she was finding herself in now. 

Raquel hadn’t seen or spoken to Edwina since their fight on the ski-trip, she had seen all the texts the girl had sent her, all the apologies and questions of where she was and why she wasn’t answering. Only, every time the girl had tapped the message box to type a response, she couldn’t bring herself to say anything, to tell Eds that it was fine. They were all good, that there was nothing to worry about. It wasn’t the truth, things weren’t fine or all good (Raquel ignoring Edwina not particularly helping the matter either, but she hadn’t been ready to see her own mistakes at the time yet). And no matter what could be said or done, she knew that Eds would always worry. Her best friend had always been a natural born worrywart. Raquel’s reassurances had never stopped Edwina from worrying before, and the false ones she could give now were certainly not going to change that now. Now, being back at school, she was embarrassed. No, embarrassed wasn’t the right word. Raquel was ashamed, she was ashamed for how she had treated Eds, and she had never been good at apologies. Raquel always opted for avoidance then making it up in others. She wasn’t sure if she could manage to do it this time around, though.   One thing Raquel knew though, was that she would have to face the girl eventually. So, she went out, not seeking her out but not actively avoiding her anymore either. She almost immediately regretting her decision of leaving her hiding spot at the foul smell that started to fill the halls of the school, turning her stomach and breathe through her mouth just to be able to stand it. She had thought about reaching into her bag to get out her perfume to spritz around when someone had apparently gotten the same idea and sprayed her right in the face. “oh fuck!” she said, eyes watering and burning. Raquel reached up to rub her eyes, as if that would make it better. She froze when she heard the voice and managed a chuckle, shaking his head. “It’s fine,” she replied. “Guess I kinda deserve it, huh?” she asked her best friend, blinking her now reddened eyes open. “hey, Eds,” she said quietly in greeting as she dropped her hands down back to her sides. She wanted to hug her, to go back to normal and be like they were, but she wasn’t sure if it would be welcome. So instead, she stood there like a jackass. 

Edwina had a lot of mixed emotions about Raquel coming back. She was happy that Raq was out of that awful place and everything she did or said wasn’t being reported back to her dad. However, she was also hurt beyond anything that Raquel had gone on a bender like she did and then refused to talk to her worried sick best friend when she got sent to a rehabilitation center. The most frequently felt emotion that made her stomach sour was guilt. Edwina couldn’t help but feel like it was her fault. If she didnt fight with Raquel; if she was more observant and knew that something was wrong; if she just went after Raquel when she stormed off-- if if if if if. One after the other there was always something making Edwina feel like she’d failed as a friend. She came to BA to make sure Raquel was okay, but ended up just making things worse.

Looking at (and speaking to) her roommate for the first time in over a month, her mouth felt dry. She swallowed a gnarly pocket of air caught in her throat that just made everything tense up morse. “Hey, Raquel.” she mumbled, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Edwina would rather be hit by a car and left for roadkill than have this interaction right now. The silence following was long, awkward, and hit hard.

In true Edwina fashion, it wasn’t long before tears were coming out of her faucet eyes and the girl was holding in shaky breaths of letting out a cry. “I’m so sorry.” she finally got out, not sure where she stood with the other girl at the moment so she didn’t go in for a touch. All Edwina wanted to do was reach out and grasp Raquel. She didn’t want to let her go again. “I'm sorry for everything. For the fight, for not noticing you weren’t okay, for pushing your away. . . I’m so sorry. . .” The shorter girl lets out another raspy breath as she cries, feeling like someone just beat her chest with a baseball bat. “Losing you a first time was horrible. Losing you a second time and knowing it was my fault was the scariest thing I’ve had to go through-- and maybe I deserved it. I know you probably can’t stand me right now, but please, Raq, please don’t leave me for good.”

[edwinaclussy-archive]

Slid under the door of D2 at the very end of the day is an old Emily Bronte poetry book. It looks old and weathered like it’s seen many, many hands. A note is pressed on top:

Happy Birthday Clussy,

Lost my phone so I couldn’t text. It’s not much, nor is it ready to be opened, but I didn’t have a lot of time. Open it over Summer break if you want.

Here’s to hoping someone got you a cake so you can wish yourself taller,

- Jamie

@edwinaclussy

[edwinaclussy-archive]

Left on Edwina’s desk in Room D2 of Dot Wing. A monochrome photo of Wussy that she took and developed when they weren’t looking. Definitely before Jamie’s faced got smashed and the bear was any of their worries. Also yes, Emma bought a pink gift ribbon and stuck it to the photo because she thought Edwina would appreciate it xoxo.

[edwinaclussy-archive]

damianfitz‌:

It’s a blessing and a curse to have been exiled for a whole week. It gives Damian time to reflect, become truly familiar with discipline and what it means. He slowly grows to savor the routine and the limitations, how they keep him in line with something in mind and away from his own desires. It’s clear to him now more than ever that he just needs to be strict with himself. He can’t be distracted by his own whims. The goal of winning the Clary Cup is his only priority, and when he’s not doing that, he should be studying, catching up on all he’s missed and hammering the details into his brain. Complete and total commitment to the reason he’s here.

But of course, everything is smoother and easier in one’s imagination. It’s difficult for Damian to comprehend what it’d actually feel like when he finally steps into the main building, an unpleasant churn settling heavily in his stomach as he goes about his day. If he thought he liked being a popular name, he certainly doesn’t like it now. With the middle of his face still plastered and bruised, he knows it isn’t his looks they murmur about it. Still, Damian tries his best to ignore the whispers and stares, reminding himself over and over that this will die down eventually and he needs to focus on getting back into the swing of things. It proves to be harder than he hopes when realizes he doesn’t have anyone to lean on in the midst of it all. Faith ignores him like it’s her calling from the Lord whenever they’re in the same place. People who used to look at him with a sense of admiration now stare on like he’s some convict that’s just been released back into the world.

And if that’s not bad enough, he’s stopped by Dr. Erlandson after a class lets out, being poked and prodded about how he feels rejoining the Broadripple population. It makes him uncomfortable in more ways than one because he’s stuck in place and not moving with purpose. People are free to look at him in the middle of the hall like it’s some show as a teacher takes notes on how he responds to question after question. His cheeks are flooded with pink by the time his former Psychology teacher wraps up his surprise check-in and departs, leaving Damian face to face with some staring student across from him.

“Can I help you?” The question lacks his usual warmth, absent of the charming smile he normally wears when he says it. Probably because Damian knows he doesn’t actually mean it. It’s merely the only way he knows how to say ‘what are you looking at’ without being totally rude.

Learning of Damian’s return, Edwina had one thing she wanted to do and nothing was going to stop her. Spotting the top of the taller boy’s head, Edwina struts as fast as her gnome legs can go as she approaches him with clenched fists. If Cobbs could see how speedy she was going right now, he might actually be proud of his least favorite student.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and nothing had more hellfire in them like Edwina Clussy when you mess with her friends. 

Without a word, Edwina’s freshly hand-sanitized palm came up and slapped Damian across his face. She may not be that strong, but anyone witnessing this event go down could testify that there was no holding back from her as she hit the boy. She isn’t trying to leave a mark, but as she hears the satisfying sound of her hand meeting the skin of his cheek, she’s suddenly hoping that the Fenwick captain has to walk around with a handprint all day.

“I told you not to touch him!” There’s anger in her voice, but more so disappointment and betrayal. “I wanted to give you a second chance and you put Jamie in the hospital! What the hell is wrong with you?? Jamie isn’t the disgusting and unclean one, Damian, you are.” the girl spats. “Well here’s a taste of your own medicine. I hope you don’t sleep at night you asshole.”

[edwinaclussy-archive]

TEXT 📲 ⇄  murderettes 👻🔦

Jamie: Had the strangest dream there was a bear in the basement of our school.

Jamie: Can someone confirm or deny. Still out of commission.

Eds: IT WASNT A FUCKING DREAM IT WAS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE

Eds: im so fucking PISSED

Eds: THAT BEAR IS BULLSHIT I DONT BELIEVE IT JUST ENDED UP THERE WILLY NILLY. SOMETHING IS FISHIER THAN A RIVER IN SALMON SEASON