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not sure thats a real word man

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they should invent a bus that never gets stuck in traffic because it's on its own path separated from the roads. and then chain multiple of them together and put it on rails. has anyone had this idea before.

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was that the bite of ‘87???

cross stitch of markiplier and fnaf by me!!

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i like when you watch a video essay from 5+ years ago and they make a joke/apologize for how long the video is and the runtime is like. 35 minutes. when we now live in an era of 3 hour intricate breakdowns of bad kids shows being everywhere.

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When you get older, you realize that most cleaning products are not very good at cleaning at all. Even though three-quarters of human existence consists of cleaning your house before people show up, the expensive and hazardous magic juices you buy from the store to help you do it are not really doing much at all.

Sure, they might make a stinky chemical smell that masks the natural cheese-like odour of your rapidly disintegrating surroundings. Maybe they sell a little device that puff-puffs some clouds of flower smell into your property periodically, just in case your cat doesn't know how to use the toilet. All this masks the problem. The only solution for really cleaning your house is to burn it down.

Now, I'm not advocating arson. The last thing this column wants to do is get in trouble with law enforcement. Firefighters are usually a lot sharper, too, and will catch onto a crime right away, because they didn't spend their entire education learning about different kinds of ways to threaten the cashier at Krispy Kreme into giving them some free Originals. No. I'm saying you should call the firefighters up and tell them to burn your house down for you.

Like my grandpa used to say, you learn a whole lot when your house is on fire. It's educational. All those firefighters will be really grateful for the opportunity, which could come in handy later if you get into a mess with the police. And once the place has been reduced to cinders and ashes (are those the same thing? Note to self, ask Siri later) you can build a whole new house that will be clean and not stink like old socks all the time. It's probably cheaper in the long run than giving Big Bleach $18 a bottle for "No Survivors" Brand Odour Eliminator Spray that makes your hands hurt.

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really man in that order

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i love when comments do bits like this

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when you're telling a work story & someone's like "wtf that's not allowed you should report that person to HR". no offense but i'd literally rather be eaten alive by a polar bear than interact with HR. specifically polar bear because ik they're struggling from climate change and could use a nice meal btw

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genuinely disgusting that theres ads on emergency turorial videos. its shameful

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victorian trans guy who goes to beloved local barber sweeney todd and presses half a crown in his hand and says “begging your pardon sir, i know it ain’t much but i was hoping you might tell my employer i get me shaves from you should he ever come around. only he’s been asking me how i keep my chin so smooth and i haven’t the heart to tell him i can’t grow a beard, so i might have told him a little lie, sir, and said it’s all due to your wonderful skill, sir” and sweeney todd goes “no problem. by the way would you say your employer deserves to die”

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its crazy that a lot of what we call 'video essays' these days are basically low budget documentaries on increasingly weird and niche topics. no network approval no tv budget just one guy with maybe a hired editor/writer and a couple of friends willing to read voice lines. and then they put it on youtube like its no big deal. insane.

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you just never quite know what you'll get when you open my inbox

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“Of course autistic people can go to the bathroom by themselves and have jobs!!” Some can’t. They’re not burdens or an “epidemic” either. Please don’t get pulled into an argument about usefulness, because that feeds into their baseline eugenic idea that you have to “contribute to society” to justify your existence. Nobody’s worth is tied to what they can do for the state.

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"there should be some kind of test you have to take before having kids" -> wrong, extremely dangerous and highkey eugenicist and racist "the youth should have safe and effective legal pathways at their disposal to make sure their human rights are constantly protected and upheld" -> based, centers the youth, gives minors more power to fight inequality and does not reinforce the idea that parents are immune to scrutiny from their kids

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I know it's not people's faults for not knowing, but I still get extremely annoyed at people saying stuff like "why are ghosts always represented by sheets? I guess people used to just be scared of sheets."

They aren't ghosts because they're covered in a sheet, they're covered in a sheet because back in the day, they wrapped dead bodies in sheets when they buried them. The ghosts are wrapped in burial shrouds because that's what they were buried in.

People weren't scared of sheets, they were scared of the corpse UNDER the sheet.