eckandria - Tumblr blog

[eckandria]

Idk if you think of me the way I do, I missed you. A piece of me has gone forever and its hard to accept, I moved on from our love maybe but I didn't move on from what we been through, we had so many good days that we almost forget that life Is mainly harsh, we forget to look around us and see how cruel the world is, I believe that you may think of me at the same time that I do, I know that leaving this way hurt you, I'm sorry, I couldn't bear life that way, I couldn't step forward while you stuck around but as a stranger, I won't repeat the same old mistakes even if it destroyed my needs, I think we had some good bond and its rare and gold, we may realise this later or you may never realise this, but I know that we did.

[eckandria]

Why do I feel like I'm not connected to anyone the way I was connected to him?

[eckandria]

Today I woke up with some heavy heart, I feel like it's fucked up who can life changes, completely from something to another, I'm thinking of my old love, hussien..my childhood love and the one I keep loving for years, then I thought of my ex, I think it's kinda weird, to think of both together and grieve lol, I dreamed of a day, a good old day, when at the end of it we are together gathered at her house, sometimes I don't believe that things lead us this way after everything, we just ended in separate ways and paths, and why? Cause its life :)

I miss each one and I hope things were less complicated

[eckandria]

I love my memories with you, won't regret any

I had fun and intimacy, I experienced rage and love and new feelings, I'm not feeling nostalgic to anything. I let things go, sometimes I look at pictures and I Don't even knowxwhat should I feel, I know nothing ever will be the same, something has changed in me but I'm aware and I'm letting myself heal slowly, it may take time, but I'll just heal eventually

[eckandria]

And he taught me something, there's always some kind of happiness we will never know till we experience it<3

[eckandria]

Never realised that I'm enough for me and I can handle and deal with any bad days and thoughts alone till now, losing him was a win win situation for me tbh, ngl I was hurt at first but now I'm grateful and thankful for every good memory and day, and I no longer hold rage or wandering why, I now remember him without feeling bad or hurt, I don't want any contact again, we are definitely two different human beings, I knew my worth, and I'm fully aware that I cant do relationships again, it's not my thing, I can't accept bare minimum of things, I want love like there's no tomorrow, I wanna feel safe and comfortable the whole thing, I wanna comprehension and maturity, I wanna achieve my goals and I want someone to push me forward not pull me back, I knew he tried his best or that was his best but it didn't match my boundaries, I chose myself and I'll never regret this, I don't wanna the same shit ever again, that was a beautiful lesson that I know it should've been ended months ago, but my anxious attachment style made me believe that I won't survive without him, even though he was only hurting me and made me feel shit the last few months, now I'm more light, and I can smell fresh air without worrying about things, I cant commit to anyone or anything, I love life I don't hate it, I love having money and treating myself and go new places and spoil myself, and I'm sure I'll one day, soon.

Dear me, I'm so so so proud of you, you went through fire alone and you'll survive every damn thing bitch! You're a baddie!!! Love you.

[eckandria]

[eckandria]

“Remember: not everyone has the same heart as you.”

— Unknown

[eckandria]

“We met at the wrong time. That’s what I keep telling myself anyway. Maybe one day years from now, we’ll meet in a coffee shop in a far away city somewhere and we could give it another shot.“

[eckandria]

God I missed it here

[eckandria]

“each hour I wake with a different loneliness”

— Judith Baumel, from “To a Friend in Asia,” The Weight of Numbers (Wesleyan University Press, 1988)

[eckandria]

[eckandria]

I have much to do: I must kill my memories down to the last one, I must change my soul into stone, I must learn to live again.

Anna Akhmatova, tr. by Lenore Mayhew and William Mcnaughton, from Poem Without A Hero and Selected Poems; “The Sentence”

[eckandria]

This is about my body & my hands & my hands touching my body. & maybe that's all a monster is: a body that's survived & has the scars to prove it. & maybe when a monster touches her own soiled skin that is its own kind of ceremony.

Bei Jie Si, To Be A Monster

[eckandria]

I feel like I'm splitting from myself

[eckandria]

إنه غارق في حزنه، والغرقى يعتقدون – في كثير من الأحيان – أن التشبث بآخر قد ينقذ حياتهم، لكن هذا يجعلكما تغرقان أسرع.

كليمنتين فون راديكس

[eckandria]

أعتذر لك يا الله علي ما انا عليه..أعتذر لكوني سيئة..أعتذر لكوني احبك بقلبي وكثيرا ما يخونني فعلي..ولكن الحياه قاسية و أنت تعلم..أعتذر لأني مازالت أضل الطريق..ومازالت أرتكب الحماقات..أعتذرلك يا الله عن ما كان وما سيكون

رسالة إلى الله