eatonear

[eatonear]

Happy Eat Her Ear Friday to those who celebrate! @eatonear

I present you the WildEARness pizza.

Recipe:

250g flour

162ml tepid water

10g sugar

10ml olive oil

6g salt

4g yeast

1. Get HALF of that water nice and tepid. You don't want it to be hot, just warm enough that when u put your pinky in it, it makes you wanna pee a bit.

2. Mix two tablespoons of flour and all your sugar, plus the yeast to the warm water. If ur into kinky shit, add a tablespoon of honey to this, it's the bee's knees. Leave it alone for like 5 min until it's foamy.

3. Mix the rest of yo flour with the salt, then make a hole in the center. Throw the foamy yeast mixture in ur flour hole.

4. It's time to get your hands dirty. Combine it all until it's, well, combined. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ADD THE REST OF THE WATER GRADUALLY!!!!! never correct how sticky a dough is by adding more flour, the taste WILL be off. Gradual liquid adding is ur friend <3

5. Knead the fucker until smooth (5 min or so). Hold the dough down with one hand, then stretch the opposite end away from you. Bring that edge back around towards you. Do it again and again. Make sure you rotate the dough around so every sort of it gets stretched and folded, we're all for equality in this household. You can throw some flour under the dough if it's sticking to whatever surface you decide to do this on but WATCH OUT.

6. Let that wilderness baby rest for at least 90 min if you can. I promise you it's gonna make it stretchy, tender and the taste yeastier. If you're a bad parent tho, go ahead and roll open your dough, it's ur kid.

At this stage, you may also leave it in the fridge overnight if you wanna make it the day before it's eaten, just leave it at room temperature for 30 min before you open it (I did that).

7. Flour your baking tray quite generously. You can roll it open with a pin or just use your hands to stretch it out (very fun, makes u feel italian). If you go for the second method, put your pretty hands on top of the dough and make a roundabout motion.

8. Roll the edges in to make the crust aka the cartilage. For the earlobe, you want to make it extra fat, so consider putting a ball of cheese inside to stuff that juicy lobe. It's play-doh, have fun shaping that ear.

9. Add whatever toppings ur heart desires, unless it's anchovies. If you like anchovies on ur pizza I want you to close this post and never look back, k?

10. Pre-heat the oven and bake to 500°C or 260⁰C. It should be okay within 10 minutes, but you can test if it's ready by lifting one of the sides with tongs. If it's good, it should be firm and not cave in the center. Pay attention bc this bitch browns super fucking quick.

11. Optional: Accessorize! put a little earring on that lobe, it's looking awful naked.

[eatonear]

if you want me to see your post unfortunately you'll have to @ me because tumblr is being difficult btw

whether it's pregnancy cravings or gay feelings sometimes we all want to eat an ear! right? right?... if you cook or bake some ear shaped food (or simply ear themed. that counts for an eat an ear event) make sure to post it and tag it #yellowjackets and #LendMeYourEars so everyone can appreciate your efforts. tell me the recipe if you want, i'm all ears👂🏻

[eatonear]

who wants to see my fail cookies

[eatonear]

whether it's pregnancy cravings or gay feelings sometimes we all want to eat an ear! right? right?... if you cook or bake some ear shaped food (or simply ear themed. that counts for an eat an ear event) make sure to @ me so everyone can appreciate your efforts. tell me the recipe if you want, i'm all ears👂🏻

[eatonear]

I'm being held at gunpoint to post this by @eatonear

This is my hiatus coping mechanism snack, some pizza flavored crackers (it's what Jackie's ears would've actually tasted like ok).

Recipe for the Pizza CrackEars :

3 cups of flour (all purpose or whole wheat, I'm not the boss of u)

2 teaspoons of salt

4 tablespoons of butter

2 tablespoons of spices and herbs (I used oregano, thyme and basil for pizza purposes)

1 cup of tomato paste or ketchup (approximately)

1- First you're gonna mix the flour, salt and spices/herbs. You may throw a lil teaspoon of sugar in there if you're feeling bold.

2- Add your butter and squish it around with a fork until it's a bit more combined with the dry ingredients. Still feeling bold? Go ahead and add a little drizzle of olive oil too.

3- Add the tomato paste BUT WATCH OUT. You want to mix it little by little just enough that the whole thing comes together. Once it's coming together into One Big Clump, stop mixing. You want that fucker crunchy, so don't go kneading this, gluten WILL develop.

4- Let your Clump rest in the fridge for like 30 minutes, then cover a surface with a baking sheet or film and roll ur Clump open as thick or thin as you want (make it thin without tearing it, I'm begging you)

5- Use a round cookie cutter or a cup to cut the shapes, then go ahead and cut the circles in the middle so you get halfsies. Now go get the scrapes you have and lay them on top of your half circles to make the ear flaps. Press em down so it all sticks together. You've played with play-doh before, right?

6- Pre-heat ur oven to 180°C or 355°F. You're welcome, Americans. POKE HOLES IN THOSE DAMN EARS BEFORE YOU POP THEM IN THE OVEN SO THEY DONT PUFF.

7- Spread some butter on a tray or use baking sheet if ur fancy so they don't stick in the oven.

8- Pop em in the oven for like 25-30 min, but feel free to be a nosy bitch and check for That Crunch as you please. I will not be held responsible if your ears burn.

Additional note: These are difficult to fuck up, so, in case you have: congratulations. If you're feeling real fucking bold and edgy, you can add like 2 cups of shredded cheese into this mess with little to no repercussions at stage 1.

Useless additional note: I also made Taissa Dirt with crushed cake but this is apparently just for ears so