Mike Schmidt Night Guard at Freddy Fazbears Pizza I don't know about these Night Guards who came before me but know this you robotic cucumbers. Tonight, I ain't trapped here with you, no sir. Tonight, you're trapped in here with me. See you at Midnight you animatronic scumbags. "I don't want any messages saying 'I'm holding my position.' We're not holding a goddamned thing. We're advancing constantly and we're not interested in holding anything except the enemy's balls. We're going to hold him by his balls and we're going to kick him in the ass; twist his balls and kick the living shit out of him all the time." -George S. Patton
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Statistics
We looked inside some of the posts by eat-schmidt and here's what we found interesting.
Average Info
Notes Per Post
274
Likes Per Post
55
Reblog Per Post
218
Reply Per Post
0
Time Between Posts
11 hours ago
Number of Posts By Type
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14
Text
3
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CAN YOU SUCK UR OWN DICK??
“Classified. Those Commie Robots can never be allowed to know for certain if I have this power”
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“Rude”
✩
✩ You intimidate me
“Good i’ll hit you w-with my stub.”
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The guard lets out a long drawn out sigh. Really its somewhat exaggerated all things considered. “How much have you been smoking?”
{-throws a nervous bun boy at you because why not and I'm a shy shit who can't think of a decent starter. OKAY BYE NOW -nyoom-}
((*Is pegged*))“Do not throw things in the halls. It’ll confuse Foxy and then I can’t hilariously slam the door on it.”
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Mike pinches the bridge of his nose. Great. Another meth addict. “Welcome to Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. We’re close.”
{-throws a nervous bun boy at you because why not and I'm a shy shit who can't think of a decent starter. OKAY BYE NOW -nyoom-}
((*Is pegged*))“Do not throw things in the halls. It’ll confuse Foxy and then I can’t hilariously slam the door on it.”
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{-throws a nervous bun boy at you because why not and I'm a shy shit who can't think of a decent starter. OKAY BYE NOW -nyoom-}
((*Is pegged*))“Do not throw things in the halls. It’ll confuse Foxy and then I can’t hilariously slam the door on it.”
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(( do me a solid: reblog this post if you’re a fnaf rp blog that’s willing to interact? that’d be the robot bee’s knees. ))
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He gestures to the water covered floor.
*pours a bucket of water on the floor*
“… Mike, i sweat to GOD i’m g-going to fire you eventually.”
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“Maybe it's because you're constantly criticising my art.”
*pours a bucket of water on the floor*
“… Mike, i sweat to GOD i’m g-going to fire you eventually.”
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“What? Of course I do why would you ask that?”
*pours a bucket of water on the floor*
“… Mike, i sweat to GOD i’m g-going to fire you eventually.”
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“Too late!”
*pours a bucket of water on the floor*
“… Mike, i sweat to GOD i’m g-going to fire you eventually.”
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“...”
“That might be hot.”
eat-schmidt replied to your post: i have REALLY BAD ART BLOck
Draw Mike and Alysson making out.
“MIKE STOP.”
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“She's so alluring.”
eat-schmidt replied to your post: i have REALLY BAD ART BLOck
Draw Mike and Alysson making out.
“MIKE STOP.”
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“Your heart”
Dance with me
Send “Dance with me” to pull my muse in for a slow dance.
He yelps. “Uhhh… Mike? What, uh, wh-whats up?”
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Mike gasps, he had not been prepared for this scenario.
The Moth just sort of flies over to a different lamp.
“Mort I need your keys so I can unlock things.”
Dance with me
Send “Dance with me” to pull my muse in for a slow dance.
He yelps. “Uhhh… Mike? What, uh, wh-whats up?”
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Mike nods slowly. “I understand, yeah I’d still like the full tour. It’s good to know the area regardless.”
*one day in the newspaper 5 years after freddy fazbears closed a job opening said* freddy bonnie chicka and foxy's pizza dinner looking for night guard to work the nightsift in the horror attraction Friday to Sunday will get payed 220 dollars a 10 dollar discount on large pizza and a plushie of choice
Schmidt stared at that job listing for a good thirty seven minutes, eventually figuring out the significance of these names and getting angry. He thought the war was over, but apparently the war against hell can never end. He dramatically tears the listing out of the newspaper and dons his trusted hat, it has never betrayed him. Mike Schmidt sprints to the address of this new potential horror, it’s time to get a job and protect humanity once again.Maybe.He has no information of this aside from the name but hot damn is he going for it.
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He does not. In fact he does the opposite of knocking it off. “Listen Mort we can throw down on the break room sofa later. Right now I need your keys though.”
Dance with me
Send “Dance with me” to pull my muse in for a slow dance.
He yelps. “Uhhh… Mike? What, uh, wh-whats up?”
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Mike laughs. “Success! Good job Moth! You’ve done well! Mort I need your keys where do you keep them?” he asks walking up to now TRAPPED phone centric individual, starting to pat him down.
Dance with me
Send “Dance with me” to pull my muse in for a slow dance.
He yelps. “Uhhh… Mike? What, uh, wh-whats up?”
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