easterlingwanderer

[easterlingwanderer]

“china / russia rigging elections” did you get your “East bad!” takes from Middle Earth? 😭😂

I said that Chinese and Russian elections are rigged to have one party win, which is, you know... uhm.

True?

Elections in China

Elections in Russia

Also I won't answer those kind of question on this account anymore, kindly bring your keyboard lion stuff on @askthedragonprinceviren instead

[easterlingwanderer]

Hey!

I’m the anon that made the HUGE rant about the silmarillion. Haha ! Sorry for all the mistakes! I speak french so it’s hard for me sometimes in English. I was wondering if you had other books/authors that you like? Recommendations for fantasy novels!

Friend I am Italian so it is both of us xD

So, if you want to get both enraged and fall in love with a story, like the Silmarillion but with characters that are more than name-drop? Realms of the Elderlings, by Robin Hobb, starts with Assassin Apprentice. Those books changed my brain chemistry istg. There are a lot of them, so they can scratch that itch. Stop before the last trilogy tho.

If you need something TRULY hopepunk/noblebright (f*ck you, Tolkien), with incredible worldbuilding, interesting characters, etc, The Goblin Emperor by Katherine Addison. Tolkien can only WISH. This is a single novel.

Wants something completely different but strangely... complementary, dipping your toes in a different way to see magic and the world? Beware of Chicken by Casual Farmer. SomeGuy dies and finds himself in the body of a Martial Art disciple in fantasy China, decide to nope and become a farmer... and Things Sure Do Happen! Fantastic cast of character, laughs out loud, the impression that Tolkien would at once tear his hair out and be... approving? Intrigued?

If you tell me more in details what you like I can give you more precise recs!^__^

[easterlingwanderer]

Hey!

Not a question but mostly a thought. Reading the silmarillion is like someone constantly gaslighting you into thinking that you’re fate is great as a human.

Tolkien did great things but reading his works in 2024 is jarring. The colonialism/racism/classism is dripping all over… The ruling or dominant class of people (elves) are clearly flawed but we somehow have to accept that they are a better race and less inclined to evil?

Then you have to accept to age, get full of wrinkles or die of disease when Elves get to stay young forever without any physical flaws. And don’t you dare to complain about it since this “gift” is directly from Eru!! … what? Oh and the numenorean? Oh no those are uh.. well different you know? Eru gives them exceptionally long lives without disease because… what ? Yes he could technically have done it for all human but this wasn’t in his plan..

And don’t forget that you CANNOT set a foot in Aman. Of course it’s a paradise of earth that could have shield men from Morgoth. Yes it’s basically what the Valar should have done for middle earth and all the eruhini but you see, it’s not suitable for men. Only for the Elves. Why? Well of course it’s because Aman fits the NATURE of Elves…

So basically any good stuff that happens to the Elves is because of their nature or intrinsic characteristics. Anything bad that happens to mens are the will of God. Exactly what the monarchy, the colonialist and the upper class have been hammering into the skulls of those who they deemed beneath them. Which is not a concept that is surprising to see knowing the time when the author was born but it’s revealing something about Tolkien. That even in a fantastic world where everything is possible, there’s always a group that needs to be at the bottom without valid or logical reasoning. I am happy that modern authors are able to create tension in their work without all of that crap.

Eeeexactly!

Which is why I say it is fine to read it... but living it? it is a dystopian nightmare. Like what the fuck?

And oh, it will all make sense in Arda Remade! Well I didn't consent to any of that? What if I think that is bullshit?

I agree with you, it is a fun read... as long as you keep it veeeery clear that Feanor Was Right About the Valar Actually

[easterlingwanderer]

A List of Problematic™ Things

(All Takes I Have Actually Seen)

• Childhood Friends to Lovers?  Practically Incest! • Two characters share the same (extremely distant) ancestor?  Literally incest!  Bad and wrong! • Platonic familial affection and intimacy?  Suspicious. • “Sworn Brothers”?  You guessed it!  Incest.

• Height/size difference?  Suspicious. • Two 17 year olds?  You should have just made them adults. • But also aging up characters is Not Allowed. • 30+ year old with a much older character?  Ew, age gap! • Puppy crushes?  Illegal.

• Enemies to Lovers is Abuse, • and you should never redeem or sympathize with Villains/Abusers/The Bad People.

• Monsterfuckers?  Zoophilia.  Or necrophilia, if it’s vampires or whatever.  The point is you’re wrong.  And bad.  >:(

“Wow what can they read?  Only the fluffiest Coffeeshop/Soulmate/HC?”

• Coffeeshop AUs?  Romanticizes workplace harassment.  And gentrification. • Soulmate AUs?  Amatonormative.  Supports predetermination. • Hurt/comfort?  Why would you want to hurt the characters?  Freak.

Also:

• Straight ships are heteronormative. • But queer ships are fetishizing. • It’s very simple!

And even:

• You need the original media creator’s consent to write fanfic.  Anne Rice was Valid, actually!

[easterlingwanderer]

the only time of the year this can be posted

[easterlingwanderer]

You wrote about murder?? Murder is illegal?? You wrote about this dude killing someone and you didn’t even say ‘murder is bad’ at the start of the book, wht wtf, wtf is wrong with you? I can’t believe you condone murder, I can’t believe you’re pro murber, oh my fucking God don'ttalk to me when ou literally kill people, freak. I’m calling the cops, what the fuck, I’m shaking and crying.

[easterlingwanderer]

What is or isn’t a slur can be highly contextual, y'all.

“Jonny Sims bummed a fag off my ma” doesn’t contain a slur, but “What are you, some kind of fag?” does.

“Queer studies”, “the queer community” and “I’m queer”? Not a slur. Some bigot calling you a “dirty queer”? Slur.

“Be gay, do crimes” and “He’s gay” ≠ slur, but “Ew, that’s so gay” = slur.

In conclusion, stop buying into this fucking “q slur” bullshit. Queer people talking about the queer community aren’t using it as a slur any more than a gay man calling himself gay is using that term as a slur.

[easterlingwanderer]

i heard from the edain in ossiriand that lord balan is having a mid-life crisis and dating some blond floozy who looks young enough to be his kid. in unrelated news elves in nargothrond tell me that finrod felagund is cradle robbing some human guy like 1/10th his age :/

[easterlingwanderer]

If you could change Ea, whether by changing the laws imposed by the Valar, the attributes and powers of the people of Arda(elves, men, dwarves, maia etc) or their destiny, what would you choose to do? In other words, if you could change the world to make it more equal, what would you do?

So this depends very much when this happens. Because the further you go with the whole Tolkien's world, the more intricate and bullshit the situation becomes.

If we are in pre-war against mordor time, then Eru should have kicked the Valar in shape and pretend they care equally for all of his children, men and elves.

now... after the fall of Numenor? I... don't even know if it is salvageable. I mean, the Great God has showed what he cares about and it is not equality or justice or anything like that. Just being worshipped, and having his "children" fawn over him and stay in their lane.

The only thing left to do is open some kind of portal so that people can go to a more just universe, and spread the word that it is available...

[easterlingwanderer]

[easterlingwanderer]

(Sorry in advance! English is not my native language!)

In my head the only reason why the Valar could have invited the elves to Valinor and not men is that if the elves stayed to long in middle earth, especially near Morgoth marring, they would automatically become orcs.

That’s why so many of them disappeared at the beginning. They ended up transforming into orcs. It’s the contrary for the Eldar that became more beautiful and more powerful while staying in Valinor.

That’s why we know almost nothing about the avari. They were too close to Morgoth’s shenanigans and most of them got transformed. And since men are not really from Arda, it doesn’t matter for us if we are close or not from Morgoth or the marring… Our body may change but it doesn’t get influenced by the marring. That’s why the Valar were confident that we could survive Morgoth.

That or the Valar are just complete incompetents smooth brains that just preferred the elves and were jealous that they were stuck on the shit show middle earth became by their absolute unsuitable skill to take care of Arda. Idk. What do you think?

Honestly, i think the latter.

i mean, men also got tortured and mutilated. sure, they didn't turn into orcs, but they were corrupted by Morgoth.

The Valar seems to be simply... incompetent ò.ò

[easterlingwanderer]

Excuse me.

Feanor would use a cyber truck. No I do not take criticism.

Be he cab or truck, be he owned or rental

Family sedan or bright sports car, 

Driver or passenger or pedestrian,

Transport yet unfound upon Earth

Neither law, nor cop, nor traffic regulation,

Mileage nor signs, not price of gas itself 

Shall defend him from Fëanáro, and Fëanáro’s car

[easterlingwanderer]

Hey in middle earth is there any ecological consequences for those big fuckin eagles

[easterlingwanderer]

!!!

(More info here.)

[easterlingwanderer]

THEY'RE BACK!

Your honor, I love them

And they're joined by a new masked figure too!

[easterlingwanderer]

Hey! I hope you’re doing well. I’m not sure if you’re still active but I was wondering if were going to do a The Ten Reasons Eru Is NOT the Christian God – Part 2? I know it’s been FOREVER but I was quite interested in most of your take about Tolkien universe and I was curious to hear more of it!

Have a great day

A.

you know i should really rename it because i don't plan to add a second part xD but i am glad you found it interesting!

[easterlingwanderer]

Lord of the Flies, except it's a retelling of Lord of the Rings but all the characters are anthropomorphic fruit flies.

The Balrog is a frog and has a fiery whip tongue.

­balfrog