east-of-nowhere

[east-of-nowhere]

how’s that house that raised you?

[east-of-nowhere]

do you think it'll all be okay?

yeah. even if it won’t i’ve got people to love in the meantime

[east-of-nowhere]

[east-of-nowhere]

[east-of-nowhere]

I got to hold a 500,000 year old hand axe at the museum today.

It's right-handed

I am right-handed

There are grooves for the thumb and knuckle to grip that fit my hand perfectly

I have calluses there from holding my stylus and pencils and the gardening tools.

There are sharper and blunter parts of the edge, for different types of cutting, as well as a point for piercing.

I know exactly how to use this to butcher a carcass.

A homo erectus made it

Some ancestor of mine, three species ago, made a tool that fits my hand perfectly, and that I still know how to use.

Who were you

A man? A woman? Did you even use those words?

Did you craft alone or were you with friends? Did you sing while you worked?

Did you find this stone yourself, or did you trade for it? Was it a gift?

Did you make it for yourself, or someone else, or does the distinction of personal property not really apply here?

Who were you?

What would you think today, seeing your descendant hold your tool and sob because it fits her hands as well?

What about your other descendant, the docent and caretaker of your tool, holding her hands under it the way you hold your hands under your baby's head when a stranger holds them.

Is it bizarre to you, that your most utilitarian object is now revered as holy?

Or has it always been divine?

Or is the divine in how I am watching videos on how to knap stone made by your other descendants, learning by example the way you did?

Tomorrow morning I am going to the local riverbed in search of the appropriate stones, and I will follow your example.

The first blood spilled on it will almost certainly be my own, as I learn the textures and rhythm of how it's done.

Did you have cuss words back then? Gods to blaspheme when the rock slips and you almost take your thumbnail off instead? Or did you just scream?

I'm not religious.

But if spilling my own blood to connect with a stranger who shared it isn't partaking in the divine

I don't know what is.

[east-of-nowhere]

— Simone de Beauvoir, from a letter to Nelson Algren c. November 1949

[east-of-nowhere]

from Catching the Big Fish by David Lynch

[east-of-nowhere]

ughhh fine *experiences emotional growth*

[east-of-nowhere]

inspiredtowrite on instagram

[east-of-nowhere]

yes communication is important, but being in a situation where you constantly have to over-communicate every single thing in order to get listened and tended to is draining and kills romance. a huge part of intimacy and connection is feeling seen and understood by the other person – them being attuned to your needs, feelings, desires, and knowing who you are as a person on a deeper level, is a sign of love. being with someone who is thoughtless and inconsiderate and constantly has to have everything spelled out to them, will leave you feeling invisible and unloved. yes people aren’t mind readers and its good to talk about stuff but someone who just doesn’t think of you or understand basic things that would make you happy, isn’t a good partner.

[east-of-nowhere]

“I don’t want to be a burden” you’re more like a relief, a gift, a blessing actually

[east-of-nowhere]

“Home is where the trees look normal” is the sweetest, saddest, most nostalgic truth I’ve ever heard.

[east-of-nowhere]

i woke up shivering from my dream this morning (it had you in it)

@/heavensghost on tumblr / unknown / richard siken / susan orlean / cool about it by boygenius / @/annalaura_art on tiktok / @/annalaura_art on tiktok / for your own good by leah horlick / the night we met by lord huron / richard siken / trista mateer / text: I thought id know you forever.. by Olivia Ruby - art: Watchmen by Dave Gibbons et al

[east-of-nowhere]

“the ending is always the same”

war of the foxes - richard silken / waterloo - ABBA / euripides’ medea - the little theatre / anne carson / the three fates - luca cambiaso / the oresteia - aeschylus / road to hell II - hadestown / when i met you - mira lightner / andersen’s fairy tale anthology

[east-of-nowhere]

"don't live in the past" okay well the people I loved are there

[east-of-nowhere]

I realize, when I spend time with those I choose to call family, all I'm wanting isn't too much. a long morning in pajamas. want another coffee? how does a movie and pizza sound later? a night spent crafting, spent one laugh after another or in comfortable silence. board games and snacks. what have you been up to lately? how's your writing coming along? remembered names of coworkers, partners, friends. books or shows or movies or songs we love enough to share with the other. requests for photos after a project reaches its end. when a problem arises, we know we'll answer a call. at the very least, a how are you, often and intentional, where we leave enough space for an honest answer.

I realize all I'm wanting isn't too much. I'm asking you to know me. I'm asking to let me know you — well enough we're no longer strangers.

[east-of-nowhere]

You deserve to be loved. Not liked, not lusted after, not settled for, but loved.