dyslexicbisexual451

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Poly dating sometimes be like:

1st base: trauma bonding

2nd base: raw sex

3rd base: actually going on an official date

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a girlfriend is like a puppy you can smoke weed with

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I FUCKIN LOVE MY PARTNERS!!!!!

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media depictions of hacking are so funny because it's all like dudes in hoodies with Anonymous masks in pitch darkness, and when you actually meet these ppl you realize 90% of hacking happens in one of these two rooms:

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jesus never said thou shalt not commit large scale industrial sabotage you can check the Bible it is not in those pages

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you ever find a piece of clothing and feel like you just stumbled upon an essential bit of your character design

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It took me a while to figure out I was demisexual, because I'd always heard it defined as "only experiencing sexual attraction when you've formed a strong emotion bond with someone." But, I discovered last year that that's not the only framework for understanding demisexuality!

Sharing this guide by Rebe Libe as an informational post about demisexuality!

What is demisexuality? What does it mean to be demisexual?

Demisexuals don't experience primary sexual attraction. Primary sexual attraction is based on sight or smell or other instantly available information.

Demisexuals do experience secondary sexual attraction (after knowing more about the person than just their looks). How much demisexuals need to know about said person and for how long they need to know about them for secondary sexual attraction to kick in varies from person to person.

Is it the same for allosexuals?

Allosexuals experience primary sexual attraction but that doesn't mean they want to act on it all the time, it's just a feeling.

They also experience secondary sexual attraction in the sense that they find a person extra attractive if they are attracted for who they are as a person.

Is it the same for asexuals?

Asexuals don't experience primary nor secondary sexual attraction.

Do demisexuals need to have romantic feelings for a person in order to experience sexual attraction towards them?

No, demisexuals don't need to have romantic feelings for a person to be sexually attracted to them.

It is common for both sexual attraction and romantic attraction to be present at the same time, so it can be confused as both needing to be present for secondary sexual attraction to develop but it's not necessary.

Demisexuals can enjoy a person’s presence or be attracted to some of their qualities without having an interest in dating them or building a romantic relationship with them.

Do I have to have a BOND with the person to be attracted to them?

No, attraction for demis can also be one-sided.

You can feel like you know a person and enjoy what they show or share about themselves without personally knowing them that much or at all.

Or course how much demisexuals need to know about a person, before they feel sexually attracted to them, really varies from person to person. There's no specific timeline on how long it takes either.

Can demisexuals be sexually attracted to celebrities or influencers?

Yes, demisexuals can feel attracted to celebrities, it's easy to get to imagine how a person's personality is, without personally getting to know them, with all the info celebrities usually share about their lives in interviews and their own personal plataforms.

That doesn't mean you actually know who they are or if they are being genuine or not, but you can still feel attracted for how you think they are.

Can demisexuals be sexually attracted to fictional characters?

Yes, demisexuals can be attracted to fictional characters, it's also common for demisexuals to be attracted to a character played by an actor but feel no attraction to the actor itself. Demisexuals can also experience sexual attraction towards fictional characters in other media, like books, webcomics, etc.

Can demisexuals have sex with people they aren't sexually attracted to?

Demisexuality is about attraction, NOT action. Demis can definitely have or want sex even without needing to be sexually attracted to the other person.

The same thing happens with asexuals, there are asexuals who enjoy sex for different reasons. They could enjoy the feeling itself, the activity with their partners, etc.

There are also demis who don't desire sex without feeling sexually attracted to the other person. Both things are normal, it more so depends on the person's attitute toward sex.

What are the different attitudes towards sex? (this terminology is also applicable to, and comes from, the wider ace community)

Sex repulsed: Feeling repulsed, uninterested or uncomfortable by the though of engaging in sex. Sex-repulsed aces don't want to engage sexually and that's okay.

Sex-indifferent: No particular feelings toward sex. You might enjoy it but you could also live without it. It could also mean literal "indifference": no positive or negative feelings toward it. Just neutral. Sex indifferent aces might not pursue sex but be okay with engaging.

Sex-favorable: You enjoy sex for multiple reasons and would seek it out (to get or give physical pleasure, as an activity with a partner, etc.). ~~~ Hopefully that was informative! I also want to name that demisexuality is a spectrum. Some demis do need to be deeply bonded and have only experienced sexual attraction a handful of times in their entire lives. I, on the other hand, am at the opposite end of that spectrum and can experience attraction after spending just a few days with someone. What we have in common, though, is that we don't experience primary attraction; most of the time I don't develop romantic or sexual feelings that I want to act on when I first meet someone, even people who I end up being very attracted to.

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meow

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Homophobe: "You must date people of the opposite gender to you!"

Non-binary person in polyam relationships: "Instructions were unclear, but I think I followed them."

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one of the most bullshit parts of being transfem is that you have a very good reason to avoid public bathrooms while being prescribed a medication that makes you pee a lot

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My wife and radiography exam prep, just a couple of my favorite things

Not me just on a library date with my wife.

She's studying and I'm writing smut.

In the library.

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The funniest thing when it comes to anti polyam people is that I can just say "mad I get more bitches than you"

And every time

Every single time without fail

They will absolutely loose their shit

Full on acting like I had just made the most horrendous insult known to man

It's the funniest shit

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"my life would be better if I just had a robot body" said me, a trans woman with massive dysphoria and chronic pain

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Polyam culture is your wife and girlfriend helping make brunch food for your date with your other girlfriend

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Thick thighs are their own reward *snorts estrogen*