dwinjohnsel

[dwinjohnsel]

This is the funniest shit I’ve read all day

[dwinjohnsel]

"your friends are an echo chamber" heyyyyy hey. hey. lock your phone right now and put it down. and walk until you get to the shore and then enter the body of water you encounter and stay in it till youre clean and whole with the world again

[dwinjohnsel]

[dwinjohnsel]

just invented something at dinner called soundboard storytime where i explain the plot of hamlet to my younger sister & her friend while our other sister punctuates every sentence with a choice sound bite from her phone

[dwinjohnsel]

Bruh

[dwinjohnsel]

guy who is definitely not about to fall into a surprise midday nap with an aftermath worse than a hangover: it seems like a really good idea to lay in bed and get cozy under the blanket as part of my plan not to fall asleep. I do not know why.

[dwinjohnsel]

It’s almost distressing how talented he is

[dwinjohnsel]

[dwinjohnsel]

the world is strange and big and beautiful and a lot of it statistically is bugs

[dwinjohnsel]

ADHD at night: I could write a book. I could get my Master’s Degree. I could go to the club and come home with 12 new friends. I could get a job at that club and meet the mother of my children. I could cure every disease and use my wealth to bring world peace.

ADHD during the day: Fold laundry too hard :( Come back next week

[dwinjohnsel]

where would we be without them

[dwinjohnsel]

I've never worked in TV production and my favourite thing about recent episodes of of Game Changer is how much of fucking with the players just relies on random production people telling them to do something and them not questioning it. Like for this to work, so much of their normal job is random people giving them instructions and them going "this might as well happen". You're giving our phones back for this two minute camera reset and then taking them again, and we have to do the whole intro of the episode again from scratch? Sure. You want me to promo this board game right in the middle of me doing this game show? Annoying, but sounds legit. A PA said something so it must be normal.

[dwinjohnsel]

[dwinjohnsel]

I witnessed something wonderful on my walk today.

We went down to the park, where the lake drains under a footbridge into a stone-lined gully that someone generous might call a creek. Usually it’s a trickle at best, but it poured last night, and the water was still moving pretty briskly. 

As we got closer, I heard kids yelling, so we went over to have a look. I was nervous, because earlier this summer we’d seen a mother cat and her kittens hanging out a few times in the (then bone dry) spillway. We hadn’t seen them in over a month, but I didn’t want to think of them being there when the water started coming down.

Instead, when I looked over the side of the bridge, I saw a skinny kid (maybe 8-10 years old) carrying an enormous catfish clasped in both arms.

The catfish had to be the length of this kid’s torso, and it was flopping around trying to escape, but the kid doggedly kept climbing over mud and slippery rocks until he reached the lake and chucked the fish in. And behind him came… another kid, holding a fish.

When the lake flooded, it must’ve washed a bunch of these catfish downstream, where they collected in pools. Now the water levels are starting to go down, and the fish are trapped, doomed to dry up and die. Not on these kids’ watch. As we watched, they rescued four fish, and one of the adults present said there were at least six left. The kids showed no sign of stopping. This is the kind of thing you love as a kid, a life or death mission you can throw your heart and soul into while getting gleefully covered in muck and slime. I was tempted to offer my assistance, but this was their Quest, and I did not want to impose.

When we continued on, the Great Fish Rescue was still going strong. Godspeed, kids. In a time of such great discord and meanspirited behavior, you will live on in my memory as a beacon of goodwill. 

[dwinjohnsel]

google docs HATES them! writer has a style that actually sounds like someone talking, not like a perfectly grammatically correct robot!

[dwinjohnsel]

the r/curatedtumblr -> tumblr migration is so funny to me. it's like going to the zoo and enjoying it so much you climb into the enclosure to live with the monkeys