dwinjohnsel
dwinjohnsel
:3
24K posts
*liquefies your bones and slurps them up with a silly straw*Void | Some flavor of queer | It/Its
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dwinjohnsel · 4 hours ago
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do you ever just suddenly feel the weight of more years of exhaustion than you’ve been alive
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dwinjohnsel · 10 hours ago
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"Kill yourself" is basic. "I hope your fandom gets a new installment that is objectively a great work but also tonally dissonant from the previous ones in a way that generates a huge newbie boom of people uninterested and hostile towards the history of the franchise" is smart. It's possible. It's terrifying. It's happening right now.
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dwinjohnsel · 10 hours ago
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The concept of mazes and labyrinths is frankly quite funny. Like yeah this is a confusing and elaborate arrangement of walls that we specifically designed for your dumb ass to get lost in. It serves no other purpose. It's not trapping you, you'd be free to walk right out if you only figured out how. You are only imprisoned by your own stupid ass that walked in willingly and now can't figure out how to get out. Is there a monster roaming around here with you? Probably not, but you're free to imagine there is one.
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dwinjohnsel · 10 hours ago
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Trapped forever and ever
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dwinjohnsel · 10 hours ago
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I find it funny when queer fantasy stories are written in a setting where homophobia doesn't exist, but there's a ~forbidden romance~ element coming from some completely different, fantastical prejudice. Like
"Son, I don't care if you suck dick, but no child of mine will be sharing a bed with a goddamn necromancer!"
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dwinjohnsel · 10 hours ago
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dwinjohnsel · 10 hours ago
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dwinjohnsel · 10 hours ago
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Some rando: You should think about stopping your prescription
Me: My pills make me not want to die tho
They: You shouldn’t want to die, that’s not normal
Me: Yeah that’s why I’m taking my pills
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dwinjohnsel · 10 hours ago
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I think the Billford ship makes Bill's perspective in Gravity falls really funny. Your boyfriend banishes you, you come back twenty years later to some weird little boy immediately demanding you go after Standford Pines aka your ex but it's not him it's his loser brother and then you get your ass beat by his loser great-niece and nephew and then it happens again and then your ex finally comes back and you finally achieve godhood and you and him can finally have psychosexual mindgames together, and you finally get the ultimate privilage of being able to enter his mind again so you can become omnipotent and then it's his fucking loser brother again and then he fucking kills you.
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dwinjohnsel · 10 hours ago
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why do jobs ask what you like to do for fun, I like being paid a livable wage let’s start there
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dwinjohnsel · 10 hours ago
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when playing animal crossing new horizons I thought chip’s character was awful because I couldn’t suspend my disbelief at the concept of a fish influencer with hundreds of thousands of fans who just… watch streams of people fishing and look at pictures of fish
anyway today I tried to explain that I was taking pictures “for the blog” to the barista as I tried and failed to covertly snap a pic of the hot water warning on their machinery
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dwinjohnsel · 10 hours ago
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dwinjohnsel · 10 hours ago
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didn't know people were this stupid. "I don't want the government filing my taxes" who do you think is taxing you, moron? is it really this easy to get conservatives on board with wasting their money for turbotax? lmfao
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dwinjohnsel · 10 hours ago
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4 days until wet rat wednesday
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dwinjohnsel · 10 hours ago
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i have a folder in my computer called "just in case" where i have important documents saved, like the constitution (since trump REMOVED IT from whitehouse.gov) and books that might get banned
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im obviously going to add more, if anyone has any reccomendations please let me know. just wanted to share because i think its a good idea going into these next 4+ years.
EDIT i've also added a clip of elon doing the nazi salute because its taken down a lot of places and likely will be removed everywhere. as well as screenshots of what happened when you searched "presidents in order" (it did not show biden) and "president from 2020-2024" (it showed trump) but have since been fixed
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dwinjohnsel · 15 hours ago
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when they said it was the year of the snake many didn't realize it meant the ouroboros
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dwinjohnsel · 20 hours ago
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Sometimes facebook is hilarious
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