I had a Tumblr before and forgot the password so I'm back on the hellsite. I was here in 2012. apparently I'm not done here.
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Gwen isn't even mad because she knows how it is when you give Merlin a lil' smooch on reflex.
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Gwen isn't even mad because she knows how it is when you give Merlin a lil' smooch on reflex.
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Loneliness is an insidious thing. When Merlin looks at Arthur, he sees not just a prince waiting for his time to rule, but a young man struggling to find his place in the world, with little help from anyone else. The truth is, Arthur needs more than the friendship Merlin can offer. He needs people he can trust: men and women who will become his court and his confidants, and if he is going to survive to take the throne and lead Camelot into its golden age, he needs them sooner rather than later. Finding loopholes in Uther’s laws is no easy feat. Court life is a dangerous game, but it’s one Merlin has every intention of winning so that Arthur can have knights of his choosing by his side. And then there is the matter of his magic…
Now posting on AO3, with advanced chapters (and more than 20 additional draft chapters) available on Patreon. Check out my pinned post for more info 💖
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Shallow Graves.
Danny would like to state, not on the record or anything, that shallow graves are the easiest to crawl back out of. So if these mercenaries could keep using them instead of the deeper ones, he might just thank them the next time they try to kill him.
He always gets back up, pretty firmly stuck in between life and death rather than ever being on one side or the other. They're never going to succeed, no matter how hard they try. Even things that used to hurt aren't really anymore.
Ectoranium? He built a tolerance to that a long time ago. Blood Blossoms? Those lost efficacy after his twentieth(?) exposure.
The amount of terrible lines he hears is just getting old, as well. "Dead men tell no tales." Classic. Epic. Wrong. Especially when you can't even kill him properly. The dead love to talk, you jerks firmly on the side of the living just can't hear them.
All things being equal, though, nothing brought more joy than the look on the face of one Lex Luthor when Danny showed up at a press conference with a microphone and a question after the former went through all the trouble of having Danny dropped off in the middle of the ocean in a concrete box.
He watched on in silent humor as he had divers swim for his concrete prison and bring it back up. Inside was a perfect impression of Danny, down to the folds of his clothes, but no Danny.
Neither man was a fool, but Danny was having fun with it. Subtle, but pointed, as he needled Luthor and protested every action his company took. Messing with Mortal megalomaniacs is a favored past-time.
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@schnuffel-danny hehehe
regarding this post: from schnuffle
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when she says she doesn’t send nudes
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You know what I think would be neat?
Loki, the Sky Walker himself, when he fell beyond the trees branches but before that Purple fucker could get him... felt A path, much like the hidden ones he'd wandered for YEARS, and franticly tries to catch himself.
After all, he let go in a moment of incredible emotional distress. But that moment passes. The fear kicks in. The natural, strategist's, "survival at all costs" primal drive starts SCREAMING. You grab for the ledge. Try to STOP your fall.
But~!
What if? What he was FEELING?
Was a Natural Fuckin Portal.
And Loki is no slouch! He manages to change his trajectory. His mind is still in shambles, he's an emotional wreck, mascara probably running, just? Having THE WORST month or so of his life. He's too pretty for this bullshit, he would insist, if he wasn't FALLING THROUGH THE VOID.
He's made some choices.
They may have been ill advised.
Possibly even terrible ideas, actually.
But he's come too far to die NOW. And if his brother's insane adventures and hare brained schemes haven't killed him, then THIS sure as shit won't be putting him in an graves. He refuses to allow it.
He expects to slam face first into alien dirt. At speed. It? Is going to HURT, he knows.
But that is not what happens.
He passes through a yawning portal, into Veridian skys, and slams face first into the back of passing youth. Knock BOTH of them from the sky and through several nearby floating islands.
He nearly gets punched for it.
The boy only stopping, fist merely moments from his faces, when he seems to finally register the state Loki is in. The next thing Loki knows? He's being rushed off Yeti healers. A FUSS is being made.
The youth is strong arming him into being a guest in his... frankly ALARMING home.
Loki likes the Gothic one. She seems like she bites. But the boy's parents BAFFLE him. The boy, "Danny" just? Showed up with him? And declared he was a "visiting Fenton Cousin"? SURELY that can not WORK! Boy, they are your PARENTS, they know better then YOU who is and is not rela-.....
How did that work.
No, HOW DID THAT WORK? Child answer me. And explain the violent cold meats.
Just? Loki, intellectually stimulated, like a cat in a fresh new environment. Removed from stressors. Not the strongest being around by far, but enjoying the challenge none the less. Fulfilling his life long trained role of "king's advisory" in an almost relaxed Highly Sarcastic Uncle On Vacation Who Is Also A Semi-Feral Cat sorta way to this new Child King he found.
Loved and respected for Being Loki. Just Loki. No preconceived notions to fulfill, no roles he must play, just... Be Loki.
Best part? Asgard and Thor and such? Irrelevant! Their own closed system far, far away. He's finally FREE of the shadow Asgard casts. He's taken "starting over in a new country to escape a toxic home life" to a whole new weight class unique just to him. The dude is THRIVING.
And? I bet he REALLY enjoys tormenting Vlad.
@ailithnight @hdgnj @hypewinter @lolottes @nerdpoe
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for the redditors coming here, this is how we spread news of important events in the world, with a Destiel meme
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Since the news is still fresh
Please consider reblogging for more people to see
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At some point, Damian fucks up. It’s while he’s still new to Gotham and is trying to win the approval of his father and adopted siblings, but ten years of training is not easy to deprogrammed if it’s all you know and Bruce takes it out in Damian and Dick isn’t around and Damian “I act like I’m older but I’m still just a 10 year old with repressed emotions” Al Gul leaves. Runs away if you will. He leaves Gotham because he’ll be found in Gotham and he would like to not be found thank you very much.
He end up in central city (which at some point was claimed to be in Illinois) where he’s happened upon by one Danny Fenton who now lives in the city and works R&D at Star Labs creating a sustainable energy source by filtering ectoplasm that naturally exists in this plane of existence.
Needless to say he’s a well established individual, incredibly smart, and can easily take in a child when he happens across Damian in a park.
Danny has one conversation with this emotionally repressed child who very clearly ran away from home and is also hiding weapons on his person and is like
“Guess your mine now.”
Damian does not cave at first. He accepts Danny’s offer of a place to stay for the night and then once they arrive at Danny’s apartment, Cujo arrives and Damian is sold. Ghosts exist, they’re not talked about a lot outside of certain circles, but it’s not a secret. And after saving enough of the right people as a ghost, the anti ecto acts were rescinded so Danny is home free and is taking after his parents in the study of ecto-everything. He’s also the king and can do what he wants with the ectoplasm he collects. So a ghost dog being in his apartment isn’t weird, but Danny’s grateful Cujo can come and go freely without threat now.
Anyway I saw a tag somewhere about how “sometimes a family is an ex-assassin, a random guy, and their ghost dog.” So that’s what this is.
Danny doesn’t ask questions. Damian’s old family hurt him? Didn’t trust him? Neglects him unintentionally? That’s not conductive to a happy healthy childhood. Do you want to be my family? I have a cousin around you age, you two would probably get along great whenever she visit. Also you seem to have a lot of pent up energy. I know a place we can go and brawl it out of your system. No you won’t hurt me if you don’t hold back, yes I promise I won’t get mad at you for fighting.
For ghosts, fighting is like a social activity. Danny takes Damian into the ghost zone for these brawls, probably uses one of skulkers islands so Damian can have the full benefits of a diverse terrain because this little gremlin is trained and Danny will ask someday, but not today.
I’m sure at other points other ghosts show up as well and are like, we’re play fighting with Phantom’s kid? Hell yeah! Danny probably finds some dead LOA assassins at some point who inform him about the kid he’s adopted and that the LOA will probably come after him again at some point. And Danny just laughs because Damian’s his now. Danny would like to see anyone try to take his kid and live to tell the tale.
The bright side of that interaction is that Damian gets introduced to an entire zone in the realm that’s made up of denizens he can learn his heritage and culture from. He ends up with a ghost sword and spars somewhat regularly with old LOA members who have chilled out in the afterlife.
Obviously they don’t live in the zone. Danny has a job, and Damian, as soon as Tucker creates the most airtight new identity in the history of man kind and hides Damian behind a ghost firewall, has school. He is now Damian Al Mir Fenton (the ghosts started calling him Almir as a nickname because he is the son of the ghost king and a prince so Damian decided to adopt it as his middle name). They get away with this for a while because Damian spend enough time around Danny and in the zone that he’s liminal adjacent and that causes camera’s to not quite capture his likeness correctly, so when the bat clan finally starts looking for him he doesn’t show up on face recognition scans they use.
It’s like, a year or two before they eventually get a lead. One of Damian’s clones arrive and either fools then bats into believing he’s Damian, or gets captured and Batman’s giving a briefing in the watchtower about the LOA. Either way it happens on the watchtower.
Either Flash see’s the clone of Damian or see’s a photo of the clone and blue screens for a minute before loudly declaring “why are clones of Fenton’s kid being sent after you?” And then Batman blue screens because who the fuck is Fenton and why does flash think Damian is his kid?
And so flash goes on the explain That Danny works with him at Star labs and he’s got a kid name Damian who arrived a few years ago because his mother passed away and apparently he’d never told him she was pregnant. So obviously he took him no questions asked. Honestly the two of them are great together. I know there was a bit of a rough patch at the start, I can’t imagine what it’s like for a kid to be uprooted from everything he knows and loves to be placed in a new place with a basic stranger, but the two of them seemed to work it out. Barry invited them over for holiday dinners sometimes they’re a sweet family.
And now Bruce is blue screening for another reason because some civilian took in a ten year old assassin and is still alive but also has a thriving relationship with Damian? He doesn’t believe it.
So when Bruce returns to the cave he looks up Fenton, finds a whole lot of questionable things about his family, but none of them apply to him. Guys just a dude working on renewable energy sources. And he see’s pictures of Danny with his son and yeah, that’s definitely Damian Wayne, except this Damian has a small smile on his face and an exasperated look of fondness as 30 year old Fenton hugs him from behind.
Another photo shows Danny decked out in fan gear sporting Damian’s name as the now 11-12 year old hides his head in embarrassment. Damian in question is wearing a martial arts uniform. A later post shows he was at a competition and won. Bruce half expected to find articles about major injury caused to opponents Damian competed against, but video’s of the competition show intense fighting, sure, but nothing lethal and no unessessary damage. Damian is respectful as one should be in this environment and Bruce isn’t convinced he’s looking at the same feral 10 year old that was dropped at his door step.
Dick makes the first move when word gets out, naturally. He shows up in Central City and makes his way to Star Labs where he requests a meeting with Danny. He explains that Damian is his younger adoptive brother. That when he went missing it cause a rift between Dick and Bruce (“Bruce Wayne?” Danny asks for clarification then laughs “knew there was a reason I didn’t like billionaires.” And Dick almost laughs at that). Dick had been looking for Damian all this time and would like a chance to reconnect with him. He understands if that’s not an option, Damian seems like he’s happy and healthy and knowing how he was treated when he first arrived, Dick is almost relieved, but if there’s a chance to see his baby brother he wants to take it.
Danny nods and says he’ll bring it up with Damian. Leave me your number and I’ll message you what he thinks.
Damian takes a week, but decides to meet up with Grayson. Their first meeting is at a local cafe. They sit alone at the table, but Danny is a few away just out hearing distance (if he had normal hearing) being a silent support for his son. The next visit Danny invites him over for Dinner. They’d moved into a house by now and Damian had an entire room dedicated to swords he collects. “I don’t use them much, but they’re part of a history I belong to and having them feels right.” They also have a sparing room because in Danny’s words “he has too much energy for his tiny body. Once we found a way for him to regularly let it out he calmed down a lot.”
Dick is completely charmed. Tells Bruce that Damian is happy where he is and to fuck off, but he expresses it over many words.
Of course that doesn’t stop Bruce. Who approaches Danny out of the blue, practically Cornnering him and says he’ll charge him with kidnapping if he doesn’t return Damian to him. That danny has no idea who or what Damian is or what he comes from.
Danny, in return, just laughs. “Kidnapping charges won’t stick,” is all he says. “And I know more about who Damian is and where he came from than you do. More importantly, I was able to see past it and treat him like the slightly feral ten year old he is. Let me guess? You tried to change him? Cut off his beliefs and ideologies cold turkey? Got frustrated when he couldn’t turn off ten years of learned habits like a light switch? How they keep letting you adopt children is beyond me Bruce, but your not taking my kid I can promise you that.”
Bruce still tries. Sends his lawyers after Danny and Danny sends back a legal document signed by Talia that passed guardianship of Damian over to him. Talia had tried to come collect her son at some point. If he wasn’t with Bruce then he would be by her side. Danny Ghost King Fenton, said this is my kid and you aren’t taking him before beating down almost an entire legion of assassins and Talia herself. “You abandoned him, even if out of love, and his father rejected him. Damian’s mine now.” And Talia recognizes strength when she sees it and knows her son will be safe, but also see’s the way that Danny is encouraging her son’s connection to his heritage and not forcing him to change, just calm down. So she signs the papers and leaves them with Danny because she does love her son in her own weird ways and she will see him safe and happy, it’s unfortunate she believed bruce would be up to the task.
The adoption is airtight. Since Talia raised him and Brice didn’t know he was real (and also ghost lawyers are crazy good) Damian stays a Fenton and Thrives.
Thalia swings through sometimes to visit. Sometimes she meets up with damian, other times she meets up with Danny and hears about how her son is doing. If anyone asks, Thalia is Damian’s aunt, who travels and couldn’t take him in after his mother passed so she tracked down Danny.
Bruce is furious, but also resigned. Outside of kidnapping, there’s not much else he can do. And even if he chose to push even harder on the legal route, the arrival of Dick in Fenton’s social media would cause issues because Dick would voice his support for Danny no doubt and also speak on the initial attitude bruce had towards Damian when he first arrived. So no. He has to content himself watching his son be raised by someone else who was able to do for Damian what Bruce failed to do.
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Danny used to be a vigilante, firmly on the side of good. Like, illegally, but morally good.
Danny’s 100% sure that whatever he is now, it’s not good.
Is Gotham’s influence just Like That?
He was homeless when he got to this thrice damned city (literally, because Lady Gotham was so cursed) and now he’s… here? In a mid-level penthouse with a rotation of homeless kids going in and out of his kitchen and eating out his pantry??
Danny adjusted the cuffs of his dress shirt, making the conscious decision to ditch the tie. He’s a tall 6ft 4 now, taking after his Dad. His head smarted all of the time, hitting doorframes when he was being a bit clumsier than the normal ghost-like grace he had learned to channel as The Phantom.
The Phantom instead of just Phantom. Why? Because Phantom was the name of a teenage vigilante in another dimension. The Phantom, on the other hand, is an intimidatingly tall, deceptively kind, extremely dangerous kingpin.
Honestly? Danny didn’t even want this life. Like, he had no idea it would snowball like this??
He supposed that it all started when the Penguin was trying to snatch kids off of his block on Crime Alley. Not officially his block, of course, because Danny didn’t actually enter this city to be a crime-shadow thing. But he hadn’t lost enough of Phantom the Vigilante to ignore kids getting hurt. He still hasn’t, if he’s being honest. He flew into a frantic search, tracking down the missing kids to Penguin’s bar. The Iceberg Lounge. Apparently, he wanted the kids to do some menial tasks and what not. Danny, rage flickering through his core, intangibly went in and robbed Penguin of every coin and secret the man kept.
Then? Danny blackmailed the Penguin to guarantee his kids a measure of safety from the Rogue. That began the slippery slope into whatever it is he does now. Penguin was being kept in line by Danny’s threats, the grip he had on the Rogue’s weak points, and a wonderful bit of intimidation.
——
“What, you stinking phantom? I’m stickin’ to yer rules!” Penguin snarled, forced to his knees by invisible blob ghosts.
Danny, salty and pissy from the lack of sleep he’d experienced trying to keep Penguin’s men in line as a result of Penguin trying to test where Danny’s lines were, dropped the temperature to the point where Penguin started shivering. Considering the place was already cold- the Iceberg lounge lived up to its name- it meant that Danny was standing nonchalantly in a room that was negative twenty five degree Celsius in a sweatshirt, Danny was already making good on his natural intimidation factor.
“It’s The Phantom to you, Oswald.” Danny said, in the tone of someone saying “it’s the shit, to you.”
Danny narrowed his blue eyes, letting a tiny tint of ectoplasm make his eyes glow a bit in the suddenly icing over room.
“Your people have been getting on my nerves, Oswald. Roughing up kids is so… uncultured. Are you sure you’re a Cobblepot?”
Penguin snarled, the effect of which was rendered ineffective due to his increasingly violent shivers. Plus, Danny loomed over him without even trying.
Danny, annoyed and asking himself “What Would Dan Do To Intimidate This Guy?”, gripped Penguin’s shoulder and hauled him up one handed. He dragged the mob boss over to one of the booths, avoiding the bodies he’d dropped (non-lethally) when Danny first walked in to ruin Penguin’s night. He shoved Penguin in chair he iced over, because Danny’s petty and if he saw one more bruise on his kids at Penguin’s hands, Danny was gonna go full Dan the Murderer.
He at least allowed to room to warm up before laying into Penguin, though. He stayed standing. Hey, he had the height advantage to use. He could have kept Penguin kneeling, but it was probably god the best that the mob boss got some sense of pride back.
(Danny had no idea that sitting as someone loomed over you to lecture and threaten you was even worse than kneeling. At least with kneeling, you knew where you stood. But sitting? It leaves you horribly off kilter.)
“I told you to keep your people in line. Kids are off limits, Oswald.”
“I kept them in line!”
Never let it be said that Oswald Cobblepot had a normal functioning sense of self preservation.
“Really?” Danny jabbed his pointer finger lightly on top of Penguin’s trachea and allowed his fingernails to sharpen into Phantom’s sharper digits. Penguin tried to lean away. “Then why did they start a gun fight when there were kids visible on the street? Why did I see one of my kids get hit by one of your poor excuses of a bouncer?”
“I-”
“Don’t care much for your excuses, if I’m being honest. I let you mess around with the little projects you have, without even breathing a whisper of your secrets. Sionis would love to know how you double crossed him the last deal, yeah?”
“I- I’ll keep them in line!” Penguin stuttered.
“Well, I believe in second chances,” Danny bullshitted. Ancients, how was this even working? “So I suggest you make an example of the guy that smacked Hailey around before I make an example out of you, Oswald.”
“Fine! Fine!”
——
And with that, he got access to Penguin’s resources and men and more importantly, the corrupt police officers. He made Penguin “boot out” the pedophilic ones (in a very violent way) and kept the rest.
Then? Mr. Freeze froze over the god damn pipes and Danny had to intimidate and make a deal with the Rogue so he and his increasing roster of orphans had access to warm water.
In exchange for Danny’s restorative and, more importantly, unmelting ice, Mr. Freeze was now Danny’s… on-call enforcer?? When he’s not researching cures for his frozen in a pod wife, that is.
Danny was satisfied with that. He was! But then Black Mask happened, with the man trying to engage in a battle of wits with Danny over the control of Crime Alley which, at that point, was firmly Danny’s territory.
The thing is, Danny doesn’t play nice anymore. Why bother with pointless mind games when he could just…
——
“So, you’re The Phantom.”
“And you’re Sionis.”
Black Mask twitched at the name, gloved hands pulling out his guns. Danny sat on the counter, head touching mid cabinet, and sipped out of Sionis’ favorite mug.
Because Danny broke into Black Mask’s safe house and stole his quality coffee. The man’s eyes were wary.
“How did you get in here?”
Danny shrugged. “Walked.”
Danny held the coffee out of the way as Sionis unloaded a clip into his chest and lunged forward to slap a mask onto Danny’s face. After waiting a bit, as Black Mask’s smug triumph bled into shock, Danny laughed and, using a bit of his natural strength, tossed the guy off of him. He casually took the mask off of his face.
“Jeez, I’m trying to be nice, here.”
“So, you’re a Meta.”
Danny grinned. “Eh. And you’re a cult leader with a mask fetish.”
Danny tuned out the rant about the “true face of Gotham” or whatever, already bored, and sipped at Sionis’ coffee. The ass might be a psycho, but his coffee tastes were wonderful. Danny stood up, rinsed his mug, and turned back to Black Mask.
“You’re trafficking people. Kids.” He said, cutting through Sionis’ chatter. He was sly about it too, committing violence and torture in a way that would ensure obedience and fear. Danny probably would have never caught on, Black Mask’s schemes being so ingeniously created and executed, had he not kept a hawk’s eyes on the more vulnerable members of Crime Alley’s community. And the rest of Gotham’s vulnerable communities, of course.
“My, a wonderfully obvious conclusion. Now, Phantom, I have a proposition for you.”
Sionis seemed to have gotten his bearings back. Danny tilted his head at him, looking down.
“You can work for me,” Sionis said, before opening a laptop with video feed to one of his masked men or whatever holding a knife to one of Danny’s more fearless kids. Danny snarled.
“Or, refuse, and your kid will lose a finger for every instance of your defiance.”
“I told you not to touch the kids, Sionis. I don’t allow trafficking either.”
Black Mask chuckled. “Cut off a finger, Sadness.”
“Yes, bos- ARGHHHH!”
Danny watched as Mr. Freeze froze the goon’s arms before breaking them.
“I’ve got her, Phantom.”
Danny nodded at Freeze, keeping an eye on Sionis in case the fool bolts.
“So, what are your cards now, Sionis? You’ve sure pissed me off with nothing to show for it.”
And that was the last night anyone heard from the one that was supposed to be the King of Crime.
But Gotham knew the head mounted on a pike at one of Black Mask’s hastily abandoned bases was a warning, that The Phantom was watching.
——
Then he somehow got a gaggle of more orphans that were undead zombie “Talons?”
From there, he just obtained influence over the crime bosses of Gotham. Because his Talons kept bringing him heads and blackmail and his crime alley kids and Gotham orphans kept bringing him information for food and safety?
But like, Danny never wanted anything in exchange for the safety he provided. His core could give less of a shit whether he got anything in return. But he couldn’t convince his kids of that! They’re putting themselves in danger and ugh-!
Danny checked himself once more in the mirror. Ready, he stepped out into the night to wait for the Bats at his new favorite VIP spots.
On the way, he passed Ivy and Harley, who he waved to. Pamela worked under him because he controlled Gotham’s criminal underground (which also mean the official parts of the city considering the sheer amount of corruption) and influenced them into more plant friendly methods. His dominion over Undergrowth also helped immensely.
Harley? They’re friends. He beat up and crippled her abusive ex. She gave him therapy and stopped torturing people for fun.
Danny stepped into the back door of the Iceberg Lounge. No one stopped him. No one dared to.
He settled onto a velvet couch, nodding respectfully at the server that had immediately and nervously set down his mai tai. He glanced around for cameras and wire taps, before giving up and upping his ectoplasmic output to short any recording devices out.
He sipped his drink as he waited.
“Batman.”
“Phantom.”
“Oh, good. You didn’t bring Robin,” Danny said, watching Batman tense. “Kids shouldn’t be in places like these.”
Batman stayed silent.
“Come on, sit.” Danny gestured to the couch across from him.
“This isn’t a social call. I’ll stop whatever you’re scheming-” Batman growled.
“Oh my god, you’re so dramatic. Is this where Nightwing gets it from?”
Batman snarled.
“Sit, sit.” Danny rolled his eyes.
Batman stayed stubbornly looming. Danny sighed, allowing his voice to slip into velvet danger.
“I told you to sit, Bruce Wayne.”
“You-”
“I won’t repeat myself again, Bruce. You’re testing my patience.”
Bruce sat, wary and hyper vigilant. Danny sighed, settling back in his chair.
“You’ve heard of Red Hood, yes? Don’t answer that, it was hypothetical. I know you’ve heard of him.” Danny waved a hand impatiently. “I don’t really care why he’s setting up shop in my Alley, but he’s upsetting the other crime lords. They’re asking me to interfere.”
“I don’t work for you.”
“No,” Danny acknowledged with a nod. “But I could make you, if you push it. Politeness would serve you much better right now, Bruce, seeing as I am doing you a… favor. And since I’m not shouting to the world who you are under the cowl.”
Danny gave Batman a pointed, patented, mom glare.
“… Apologies.”
“Now, you might be wondering what that favor is.” Danny watched Batman’s cowled face carefully. “I thought you should know that the Red Hood is your “Jason Todd.’”
Batman was still. And then Batman leapt at him, snarling, “How dare you-!”
Danny caught the vigilante by the throat and squeezed.
Batman’s flurry of punches- which, mildly ow, those gauntlets kind of hurt- quickly changed to clawing and maneuvers to get out of the choke hold. Danny held steady, cutting off the vigilante’s air supply until he began to go limp. He’s not Superman. Danny will bruise and kill, if he had to.
“Are you going to listen to me now?” Danny asked mildly, emulating both Black Mask’s drawl and Dan’s effortless psychosis.
Batman gave a weak nod. Danny plopped him unceremoniously back onto his couch. He sipped on his drink once more as he waited for Batman to cough some sweet air back into his lungs.
“I’m telling you to get your little birds in line before I have to go hunting, yeah? Keep your kids out of danger, Bruce, and I won’t have to step in.”
“He- how do you know..?” The growl isn’t there anymore, and Danny felt a smug sense of vindication of having smothered it out of the guy. Woah, no, that thought was too Dan and too little Danny. Danny handed him a cup of water, which Batman didn’t drink.
Danny rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow. “Drink. If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it by now. And as for how I know…”
Danny held up a beat up copy of Jane Austen’s Sense and Sensibility, filled with Jason’s writing. He tossed it to Batman, who caught it with blank eyes.
“Water,” Danny reminded him firmly, feeling like a mother hen. Batman gulped down his water, eyes flicking between the pages of Jason’s annotated book. Ancients, Danny couldn’t believe he annotated his book. A crime lord, like that? Well, it’s not like Danny could say anything.
Batman looked up at him, a silent demand- no, plea, because he’s not in a position to make demands- for an answer.
“Broke into his safe house. You should contact your fling, Talia. Seems like she dunked him into these “Lazarus pits” and told him you replaced him with the current Robin.”
Danny could see Batman’s emotional gears hard at work and honestly, he doesn’t have time for that.
“Now, we’re done here. You owe me one for the information. I’ll collect later.” Danny grabbed the Dark Knight, who stayed oddly unresisting (shock, maybe?) , and hauled him up.
“Tell Tim Drake to eat more. He looks too skinny.” With that, Danny dragged the Dark Knight to the window and punted him out. His kids were waiting on hot chocolate night and Danny had to go shopping for quality ingredients.
——
“YOU COULDN’T HAVE TOLD ME THE BIGGEST CRIME LORD OF YOUR CITY WAS THE FUCKING HIGH KING OF THE INFINITE REALMS?!”
“Hn.”
“BLOODY HELL, DON’T YOU GRUNT AT ME, YOU BROODY BASTARD!”
Constantine let out a scream. Shite, the king who held his soul contract was a crime lord. Great.
——
The reason intelligence and convoluted schemes and genius doesn’t work against Danny is because he’s got weird standards of what he’ll tolerate and the fact is that his normal dumbassery and mother hen tendencies cancels out and coherent thoughts or plans he might have had.
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Danny has a Cooking channel
Danny is in Gotham for College or whatever and out of boredom starts a cooking channel on YouTube.
So, picture this Danny is cooking like he’s trying to kill somebody. And never refers to ingredients as their name. And constantly cracks jokes about the recipe he’s cooking from.
This is all well and good until ghosts start asking him to make family recipes passed down from generations, now Danny doesn’t know that there family recipes because the ghost thinks it’s the HIGHEST HONOR for their King to want to cook something from when they were alive.
Cue one day on his channel he makes a pie but not just any pie but a pie MARTHA WAYNE herself created.
Alfred is curious about how this young man knows this recipe, meanwhile Bruce is losing his mind because Danny looks like a male version of his mother.
Ps. Look up Dylan Hollis on YouTube to get what I’m talking about
~Danny cooking something~
“Now add a CUP of Lard”
-Danny sarcastically- YOU DEAD WHITE PEOPLE NEED TO STOP. THIS IS WHY THE GREAT DEPRESSION HAPPENED.
-Also Danny-
“And now we add some CINNAM and blind bake til brown”
“Im sending you to summer school” -Puts pie in oven-
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concept
a beaded curtain, but instead of beads they’re worms on strings
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Cooked up something again in Audacity
I think it would be really cool to do something with this as a tribute to ten years of TAZ which we'll hit in December :O
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