dutchbread

[dutchbread]

I'm sorry for always saying sorry and doing thing's I promised not to do anymore. It breaks my heart for I keep on breaking you slowly even though you give me chances to break this cycle. I am a mess, but you shouldn't be messed up because of me.

I want to be someone who deserves you but I'm struggling so hard, but the struggle's not enough for you.

[dutchbread]

I need to know.

[dutchbread]

Please tell me you love me still. I wanna know I'm enough. 😔

[dutchbread]

July 7, 2017

I always tell myself that I don’t usually get tired. But the last few weeks had been very different. It might be the weather, or the commute and the walks, or the interviews I’ve had, or even our fights which had gotten more intense the past few weeks HAHAHA. But the fact is, I was quite tired. But still, I'd always tell myself that I don't usually get tired. And it works because I'd always have the energy to think about how much I miss you, or how much I love you. After all, a tired day will turn upside down after talking to you. So I look forward to is. Even though we had been the past few weeks, especially when we fight, I never tire to think about you, to wish you well, because tiredness is something that one would feel if what he feels that something is a burden, but love, you were never a burden, and you will never be. The truth is, I realize that, sometimes, I could be a burden to you. With the way I treated you or with how I was being quite insensitive. Quite a burden right? Hahaha. Then I realized how you also fight for me, for us. Maybe because you love me, and fortunately, you're love never dwindles. I am fortunate. I am blessed to have someone like you who never tire to understand me. Yeah, we might have lapses here and there, but you accept me for who I am, even with my ugliest of flaws. That's why you deserve so much love, and I want to be the one to give you that. That means that I should never tire of loving you as pure and as true as possible. Because you deserve it my love. So as I was traveling back in the cramped up jeepney, I didn't feel tired because I realized how you kept fighting for us every single time I hurt you. And with so much things that had happened between us, rather than be tired, I should be inspired and moved to make everything better for us. That is why I promised. And I will always tell myself that I will not be tired, because I love you, and I will always be fortunate that you always have the strength to say it back to me. So thank you. From the bottom of my heart, love, thank you for always loving me.

[dutchbread]

Hey, beautiful! Good night. I love you. 🤗 I know I always say that, but I mean every single word in every single time I say it. So again, I love you, Jan Maming.

[dutchbread]

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY

[dutchbread]

Aw. I thought you'd tell me to not leave because you need me. See you in my sleep then.

[dutchbread]

I hope you're happy. 😊 I love you.

[dutchbread]

March 1, 2017 I swore, everything froze. It was magic.

[dutchbread]

[dutchbread]

[dutchbread]

[dutchbread]

[dutchbread]

[dutchbread]

How are you self?

[dutchbread]

I usually post sad stuff here in Tumblr. Today’s an exemption. I met this girl about more than a year ago. Times were a lot different back then. Good times good times.

But ever since I met this girl, everything got better. Ever since I got the chance to know her more and more each day, each and everyday grew, more and more, beautiful.

I remember a post which state that: “She’d never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.” I agree that she is art and not nice. However, she’s not nice because she is BEAUTIFUL. And while she’s so beautiful, she makes me feel like I have butterflies in my stomach every single day that I see her. She makes me feel like a thousand colors. She makes me feel this way while being an art where all these butterflies would flock to. She is beautiful. She is lovely. Thank God she trusts me to love her beautiful self. Thank God for her. I love her so much.

[dutchbread]

I have a bad habit of being pessimistic in times of great joy. I’m sorry. But please don’t take it as me not appreciating. I don’t know. Sometimes, I just feel like I’m not worth the joy that you bring everyday. I’m sorry. But thank you for constantly reminding me how beautiful life is. I knew that through you. Thank you. I love you.