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[dutchbeautygeek]

My brother was diagnosed with depression years before I was, and because of that he started therapy years before I did.

I still remember when I was a young teen and he was playing a Nirvana song and he stopped it at this one line: “I miss the comfort of being sad”

He told me that when you start to get better, there’s a part of you that misses being sad and that if you start feeling that way you have to be extra extra aware and careful because if you indulge the feeling you’ll go down a self-destructive spiral

And even though that was years and years ago, I think about it all the time. Especially when I’m reading discourse on the idea of getting so attached to mental illness as an identity that you don’t want to improve things because you feel safe in it and don’t know who you are without it

I always think of that line “I miss the comfort of being sad” and my brother’s warning

[dutchbeautygeek]

speak of the devil

They say life flashes before your eyes before you die. Have they ever said much about what flashes before your eyes when you’re about to lose someone? For Killian, it’s not his life—that’s to say, not his life alone. As someone who was immortal (the Devil, to be exact), he had never truly encountered such an issue.

That is, until he met Emma Swan.

Better late than never, as they say! Here’s my @cssns contribution! A bit of Devil!Killian (inspired by Lucifer) to spice up your night! A super special thank you to @selfie-wench for holding my hand through this fic and fixing the mess my brain was spitting out onto the doc. My dearest Jenna, I love you immensely. An equally special thank you to @slow-smiles for the artwork that will be accompanying this fic! You’re awesome, Molly, and I can’t thank you enough for your patience with me. A big thank you to @kmomof4 for putting this summer together! This is the first time I write in so long, and it felt good!

Without further ado, your story, folks!

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As the man standing before them raises his gun, he clenches fists at his side. He takes a step forward but she’s quicker, jumping in front of him to shield his body with hers. His eyes widen as he watches the trigger being pulled; he can practically feel the bullet connect with her body as she falls into his arms.

On instinct, his wings unfurl and wrap around them, creating a barrier between them and the bullets that begin to fly in their direction. He curses what led them here as he screams, wishing, for once, that he had the ability to turn back time.

“Swan, you don’t have to go in there.”

“I’m the one with the badge and the gun, or did you suddenly forget that?”

“Yes, but—”

“No buts, Killian. I’m going in there and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

“He’s not just the man who killed your friend, Swan; he’s also the man who you were about to marry.”

“All the more reason to look him in the eye and confront him about all of this, don’t you think?”

Lees verder

[dutchbeautygeek]

All the Things She Never Had: How Killian Jones Fills the Holes in Emma's Heart that her Parents Never Can

“I have no idea how to comfort my own daughter…" 

Snow had said those words to Charming when Emma broke down outside Neal’s Neverland cave. “It’s the first thing a mother learns and I don’t know how.”

Since the first curse broke Emma’s parents have tried and failed to become a family. They’ve offered love. They’ve coddled her. They’ve walked on eggshells out of guilt - afraid to push or to challenge Emma because it might drive her away. They’ve tried to parent her but they’ve failed.  Because Emma hasn’t wanted to be parented.

Emma is a grown woman who spent her life feeling abandoned. And even though the relationship with her parents has begin to heal it’s simply too late for some things. She is learning to accept their love - but she can not accept their guidance. 

“We’re the same age. We have equal wisdom" she told her parents aboard the Jolly Roger. Even though Emma loves Snow and Charming she sees them as peers not elders.  And the comforts she once accepted from Mary Margaret as a friend she has since rejected from Snow White as a mother. Because a healthy relationship with parental love is something Emma lacked as a child and she still struggles with giving and accepting love.

Emma is a grown woman and her parents are now raising a new child.  It’s unrealistic for her to accept being “parented” alongside her baby brother. But she can accept those things from a partner, from a friend.

There is so much sexual and romantic tension between Emma and Hook that it’s easy to ignore the subtext of their scenes; that Hook provides for Emma so much that she lacked emotionally during her childhood.

Emma has never had someone to take care of her:

someone to help her with her coat,

someone to bandage her wounds (with a kiss to make it better) ,

Someone to wipe her tears,

(rest under the cut because long and lots of gifs)

Weiterlesen

[dutchbeautygeek]

Love Finds a Way : CS Jurassic World AU

Title: Love Finds a Way by @artistic-writer

Summary: Emma Swan is the Head of Operations for David Nolan’s exotic adventure park, Jurassic World.  She has a son, Henry, and is loved and respected by her colleagues. Her life was perfect until a new dinosaur the park created, Indominus Rex, decided to escape.  Oh, and her one night stand, Killian Jones - he’s there to help contain the asset. Just to complicate things even more.  Jurassic World AU.

Rating: M (for people getting eaten)

Also on: none yet - I’ll post them tomorrow when I’m home.

A/N: So, on our last date night it was my turn to choose the movie, and I picked JW.  And so I was watching it and made an off-handed comment post about how it would make a great CS AU and @kmomof4 and @wordsmith-storyweaver have enabled me enough that I feel like this could actually be a thing.  I made art first, then I wrote some words, then I made some more art.  NOTE: I have no writing schedule for this, so whilst I do not anticipate it longer than 6 chapters or so, I have only a few written right now, and they are very out of order.  My doc is a hot mess.  Beta’d by the lovely @resident-of-storybrooke because @kmomof4 can’t see everything first ;)

Taglist: @hollyethecurious @kmomof4 @resident-of-storybrooke @cocohook38 @sherlockianwhovian @searchingwardrobes @wordsmith-storyweaver @winterbaby89 @kymbersmith-90 @wellhellotragic @killianmesmalls @killian-whump

Want to be tagged/untagged? TELL ME HERE

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Emma Swan was a woman on a mission. As Head of Operations at Jurassic World, the planet’s number one tourist attraction, she was responsible for the day to day running of the huge island resort. Jurassic World was set on an island in Costa Rica, Isla Nublar, and was the brainchild of an eccentric multi-billionaire, John Hammond. Originally, Hammond had called it Jurassic Park, but after some unfortunate incidents twenty years ago, the park had a new name and a totally revamped image.

It was huge. The entire island was set up like a cross between a zoo and a theme park, with thousands of paying visitors flocking to the island each year for the chance to gaze upon a real like de-extinct dinosaur. Because that was the term now that genetic engineering had brought the dinosaurs back to life - de-extinct. Emma hated it, but she was paid immensely well to keep her mouth shut and look after the best interests of the parks current owner and Hammond’s friend, David Nolan. In his will, Hammond had bequeathed Jurassic Park to Nolan, the eighth richest man in the world, who, just like his friend, envisioned something spectacular.

Jurassic Park had boasted, before its downfall, eight species of dinosaur, revived from their extinction by geneticist, Jon Merlin. Now, over ten years later, Jurassic World could offer visitors the chance to get up and personal with fourteen herbivores and six carnivores. Merlin had worked tirelessly, giving everything he had to the project, playing God and bringing back species that people had only ever seen in books.

However, as successful as Jurassic World was, Emma was being squeezed by investors. Some of the park’s latest figured had shown a drop in customer satisfaction, with the average customer never wanting to return. For the people who put so much money into the park, this was a problem, and Emma had been tasked with trying to fix it. They wanted more, something to make people rush home and share what they had seen with their friends, but for that, the park needed more money, and Emma’s main focus today was to wow a few potential investors from a telecommunications company called Storybrooke Wireless.

“Welcome to Jurassic World,” She beamed fakely, her voice like that of the park’s tannoy system. Three pairs of awaiting eyes looked over to her as she exited the elevator and approached them, the two men and a woman waiting for her arrival on the genetics floor. Emma had decided to wow them with their research, showing them what their hard-earned dollars could actually fund, and with the imminent arrival of some new baby raptors, maybe Emma would time things just right.

Keep reading

[dutchbeautygeek]

A story about the happiness of two. 

As much as we root for relationships in Once Upon a Time. 

I think, at it’s core, at the beginning, even for the slightest, we were all rooting for the happiness for these two. 

I want to make this into a shirt, but i want to write a caption along the bottom, but i’m not sure of what… Any suggestion?

Twitter / Instagram / Redbubble / My art

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[dutchbeautygeek]

i’d just like you all to know that cartoon network has all five seasons of the original teen titans available to watch for free on their website

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Killian Jones + Captain Floor

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Fudge recipe on a headstone

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CS Video

Is there, anywhere out there, a video of JUST the CS parts? Like CS’s best moments, from the start, without music added? I want to watch all of the CS scenes condensed into 2 hours so I don’t have to wade through the rest of the show to get my fix. 

I’m asking for a legit reason that might make a few people happy. (like inspiration to finish a fic maybe???) 

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just once I want to see a good post critiquing makeup culture that doesn’t turn out to be made by some janky radfem blog

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Thank you, thank you to the amazing @muchmoxie for this amazing edit. You are fantastic bb!! I hope I can repay the favor soon.

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Does anybody have a cousin at Hulu or Amazon or Netflix?  This series is exactly what I didn’t know I needed.

[dutchbeautygeek]

The relationship between Peter Parker and Tony Stark is integral to the emotional core of the film. And its one that was set up in Civil War, continued in Homecoming and is furthered here. And it is a father-son relationship and one that will ultimately end up being exceedingly painful for Tony.

[dutchbeautygeek]

This kiss on the hand will never, ever, ever stop making my heart hurt.

Because Killian is always so steadfast, especially when Emma needs him to be, and he just made her promise to move on without him because that’s the way it has to be– he is holding his resolve because he knows if he wavers, there’s no way she’ll leave him there, and he’s resigned himself to sending her back to the world when he can’t follow, even though almost everything he’s done for the past couple of years has been to follow her to the ends of the earth so she’s not alone.

He’s gone through that whole horrible scene and stayed composed.

And then at the very last second, when he realizes he’s about to lose sight of her and has to let go, he just panics. We rarely see Killian desperate; usually he’s just resigned to awful things happening and even feels like he deserves it.

But in this moment, he kisses her hand because it’s all he can reach, because he needs to keep touching her as long as he can with this franticness, like he’s ready to fall on his knees and beg the universe No no no no, please please don’t take her from me I’ll do anything, which just destroys me because it’s easy to forget that before they found each other, he was just as lonely, lost and heartsick as she was.

And he was trying so hard to stay strong for her and just crumbled in that last moment because I don’t think anything in his life ever broke his heart this much.

[dutchbeautygeek]

FREE ART PROGRAMS

So recently I came across a fellow artist who was struggling to find a free art program, and considering dropping the large amount of money for a Photoshop license. I know not everyone can afford such an expensive program, so I’ve compiled a list of programs with no cost to download and use.

Keep in mind all computers are different, so not all will work for everyone. Also, I’ve only ever used Windows, so for the most part, I’m not sure if everything will work for Mac. if in doubt check the website linked.

Photoshop CS2 - (Windows, not sure about Mac.)

FireAlpaca - (Windows and Mac)

Sketchbook Copic Edition - (Windows and Mac)

GIMP - (Windows) (Mac)

Paint tool SAI [cracked]  - (Windows) (Mac)

Paint tool SAI 2 beta - (tumblr post on said program)

iPaint - (Mac)

Paintbrush - (Mac)

Pencil - (Windows, Mac)

Paint.NET - (Windows)

Seashore [still in development, ver 0.5] - (Mac)

ChocoFlop - (Mac)

Inkscape - (Mac and Windows)

ArtRage [Demo] - (Mac and Windows)

OpenCanvas 1.1[must pay for 2.0] - (Windows, not sure about Mac.)

MyPaint - (Windows)

Krita - (Windows)

Vectorian [Supports Animation] - (Windows)

Pixia[Japanese, some English versions] - (Windows)

Asperite - (Windows)

Chasys Draw IES - (Windows)

SmoothDraw - (Windows)

TwistedBrush Open Studio - (Windows)

BOUNS - CTRL+Paint [Great for teaching all kinds of stuff, like how to use digital programs.]

If you know more free programs, please add onto this!