dungeonmistressclara

[dungeonmistressclara]

"Wow, all the trans women I've met are so strong and resilient! It truly is incredible how they're able to endure so much!"

[dungeonmistressclara]

[dungeonmistressclara]

2025 will be my year!

[dungeonmistressclara]

Princess with an empathic link to her sworn protector but she has severe anxiety so her door keeps getting thrown open and someone in full armor runs in yelling I'LL PROTECT YOU MY LADY, WHERE'S THE DANGER? and she's just got outlook open and there's two (2) emails she needs to reply to

[dungeonmistressclara]

2025 will be my year!

[dungeonmistressclara]

my first initiative as prime minister will be to address rising sea levels by gathering up all the horses and having them drink as much seawater as possible before they die, and then we bury them somewhere dry to get rid of it

[dungeonmistressclara]

me and my bf were talking about fluttershy probably being terrible at smoking weed and that evolved into the idea of pinkie pie giving her the worst high in her life

[dungeonmistressclara]

bill and ted with gerard way

bill and ted are hanging out with Gerard Way!

[dungeonmistressclara]

[dungeonmistressclara]

[dungeonmistressclara]

ALRIGHT, HERE’S WHAT WE’RE GONNA DO

Inspired by @thewanderingdelusion’s suggestion, as a treat for helping me reach 200 subs before the end of 2024 I’m gonna rate YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR TEXTS! Or at least, as many as I can lol. Comment or reblog with your favorite flavor text on a card, and I’ll do a tier list! It can be your favorite cause it’s funny, cool, or whatever other reason. The deadline for this will be January 17th, so get em in before then!

[dungeonmistressclara]

[dungeonmistressclara]

“chancellor palpatine, sith lords are our speciality.” funniest fucking line in star wars history. obi-wan, who has never killed a sith and knows he has never killed a sith, talking about himself and a guy who is going to become a sith lord within half a week, and speaking directly to the sith lord who is going to make that guy a sith lord, with FULL fucking confidence: “sith lords are our speciality.” he says this to palpatine’s face. to his face. to darth sidious’ face. in the most condescending fucking voice. completely unaware that he is speaking directly to the sith lord, to THE sith lord, who before the week is out is going to directly fuck over his entire life’s work and everything he loves and believes in: “sith lords are our speciality.” could you be any more cringefail. actually palpatine deserved his whole victory for not bursting into laughter then and there

[dungeonmistressclara]

say whatchu will about the official jedi doctrine of Only Beige Tones and, believe me, i will. but the jedi really did rock the fuck out of beige. mace windu? who else can so eloquently say Don’t Fuck With Me in Premiere Pantone 15-1214 TCX Warm Sand™? can anybody else but shaak ti strut out in Entirely terracotta color palette yet still radiate Pure Working Single Mom Kick Ass Energy for millions of her clone sons? and who can forget obi-wan, who manages to be perfectly slutty—yet his v-necks are chastity-height and general style is mid-2000s suburban house demo? panache. pure, perfectly beige swag

[dungeonmistressclara]

Who wants a marginally unhinged AU concept?

So you know how in some fics (and possibly canon IDK) there's the joke that "wherever Skywalker goes, Kenobi isn't far behind"

Shmi Skywalker, age twelve, wakes up with memories of the next thirty-five years, all the way to her death. She decides to take a leaf from Anakin's book, because she knows way more about the Force than she ever planned on, and breaks free!

She then hijacks a ship to Stewjon and, through an unlikely series of events, kidnaps Obi-Wan's parents.

She just wanted to find out if Obi-Wan was alive yet, but. Things. They happened.

Skywalker luck.

I'm going to say that she managed to hit thirty-five years on the dot and so Obi-Wan is an unborn fetus One of the kidnapees is in fact five months pregnant.

It's fine.

Everything is fine.

(It is not fine.)

Shmi, channeling her son who isn't even going to be born for another sixteen years: EVERYTHING IS UNDER CONTROL.

The Kenobis, looking at this twelve-year-old girl who has a stolen ship and clothing she definitely shoplifted because it's the wrong size: Are… are you sure, hon?

(Kenobis are helpless in the face of the opportunity to adopt a Skywalker. This is fact.)

Is Shmi nearing fifty? Is she twelve? Unclear! She isn't particularly sure herself!

If kidnapped by a manic tween, locate some adoption papers.

I think Shmi is desperate to get to the Jedi because they're the only ones who might have an idea of what's going on, and her ability to influence the future is very limited by being, you know, an orphan who's had to commit crimes to get anything done because she was enslaved until very recently.

Since she sort of… passively absorbed a lot of Anakin's Jedi knowledge, and she's still a kid, I think they might decide to take her in as a padawan by way of A'Sharad logic (you already have training, so your 'starting age' is backdated).

The Kenobis are just like "Cool… we're only half-sure what's going on but we want to keep an eye on the kid and also she's convinced our baby is going to be one of you, do you have any ideas?" And then they end up non-Jedi employees of the temple doing like. Accounting or something. For a few years and then they go "Okay, we definitely trust you to raise our toddler; Shmi, don't forget to visit" and return to Stewjon.

[dungeonmistressclara]

First pee of 2024

[dungeonmistressclara]