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Writing a novel when you imagine all you stories in film format is hard because there’s really no written equivalent of “lens flare” or “slow motion montage backed by Gregorian choir”

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IT SHOUKD HSCE VEENMEE

do u guys fw the coffin gang

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mental breakdown caused by absolutely nothing.

calm down.

...

breathe in.

....

breathe out.

.....

alright

.........

alright. i'll be okay. just keep saying that. you'll believe it. you're going to be okay. you always do. breathe in. breathe out. breathe in. breathe out.

....i'm fucking tired though

i know

i don't even know what happened

i know

they meant it when they said the body remembers

i know

i don't like remembering anymore

i know.

if you say you know one more time i'm going to fucking choke you

...

sigh. you know what? i know. i know that you know, because we're the same, we're me. i'm you. you're me.

yeah.

so i shouldn't get mad at you

right

because i know you just want to help me

that's it

and because it's no use getting mad at myself for shit i can't control

you're getting better at this self-therapy thing

but i'm frustrated

i can tell

and so are you

of course i am

i'm sick of my dumb body fucking freezing all the time and being scared and feeling like shit for NO reason

i'm sick of it too

but you are so mature about it

we're the same.

but it's not fair! if i remembered what went wrong then i would know what to avoid

maybe. maybe you can't avoid it.

that's WORSE. this is always just going to happen, then?

it could.

fuck.

but?

...but. what?

...but...?

...but...but i can...i can survive. i'll live.

go on.

this will pass.

that's the spirit.

and. and at the very least. i'm not hurting anyone anymore.

good. keep going.

i'm here. nothing bad is happening. i'm okay.

that's right.

but something bad did happen-

-it's not happening anymore.

can't i just be allowed to be sad?

you've been sad for too long. it's time to get better.

but i don't know how to be good again.

it's not about being good again. it's about being good next time.

...

my hands have a lot of energy.

...i should write.

but my brain can't really think.

...then i should draw.

but my eyes aren't built to see anything pretty.

then what do i fucking do

i can't hurt anybody.

but that's what i want to do. i want to hurt. i really really want to hurt something.

...this isn't going to be good for me forever.

this isn't good for me NOW. what do you suggest?

do what we always do.

punch a wall?

punch a wall.

...did typing it out help?

it helped.

right.

isn't it. isn't it weird. talking to me like this?

it is weird.

but it's all i have, isn't it?

it isn't. you're just scared of other people. i'm just scared of other people. you know they'll understand, you just don't know if they have the time to actually help you. i'm scared. i don't want them to ignore me. maybe i should just never ask for their attention at all.

we're scared.

we are.

but we won't always be.

we won't.

and we'll get scared again.

we always will.

...not forever. scared doesn't last forever, right?

no. no it doesn't.

yeah.

feeling good yet?

no.

i figured.

but i don't think my chest is going to collapse. and i think it's easier to breathe. and the sounds are fading to silence. i feel like i'm not quite here anymore.

you'll come back.

will i still be scared when i return?

who knows.

...i'll find out later. i'll enjoy this for now.

come back to your friends after all this

i will

they won't know what to do

they won't

but they'll open their arms anyway

they will.

does that make you feel good?

it does.

alright. just keep. thinking. about them. about things that make you feel good. wallowing in your misery is refreshing in its own pathetic way, but swim too far, and you'll drown. remember that.

i wish i drowned.

no you don't.

no, you don't.

remember. you and i, we're the same.

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plot twist we lost it again but that's just living

pink in the night

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molly brodak by Molly Brodak

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you're supposed to know what it's like when your best friend cries i think. i didn't, for about the 14 months i've considered him my best friend, until about 3 weeks ago. but i did know.

i know he was crying when he sent that text and i never really was good at knowing how to handle that but i tried anyway so whatever the hell i was doing i dropped it i ran to him and i called him.

that was the first time i'd ever called, i think, and the first time he'd ever answered it, which is how i know he really was hurting, because he'd never in his right mind do that with anyone else

so it was two idiots who didn't do any of this feeling shit on a call and just listening to the other breathe. on my worst days i find that u don't really even know if i am. on my best days it is all the same. but he was breathing, i know it so, heavy and loud and hurt, pain bleeding on the shaky shaky edges and i was right. he was crying. he was. i'd never heard him cry before and that hurt that hurt that Hurt. but i didn't say it. i stayed quiet. i decided i would breathe louder too. manually if needed. so he would know that i was listening. so he would know i was breathing too.

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He finally figured out the formula guys (ft normal friend behavior)

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Inspired by how some male relatives (aka. my dad) would just randomly drop some traumatic lore from their past like it's nothing and you just have to sit there reeling while they keep on driving.

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i like ford because he is strange and off putting

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That's how it went

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ALT TEXT: A drawing of a bouquet. Haberlea encircled by an alternating orchid and desert rose, intertwined with an Dahlia Eurydice encircled by Cyclamen. Sunflower perched right above the Haberlea intertwined with Yarrow over the Dahlia Eurydice. A circle of Talisay leaves on branches, then Snowdrop Flowers, Three Gladiolous, two beside the Yarrow and Sunflower, then one inbetween the Haberlea and the Dahlia. A circle of Wild Rose to complete the entire bouquet.

aHR0cHM6Ly9wYXN0ZWJpbi5jb20vRUcycDY1RG4=

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molly brodak by Molly Brodak

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I made this for a friend but he and I both thought y'all would appreciate it

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Poor Michael. He had been on trips for the Institute before.

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The symbolism of flowers

Flowers have a long history of symbolism that you can incorporate into your writing to give subtext.

Symbolism varies between cultures and customs, and these particular examples come from Victorian Era Britain. You'll find examples of this symbolism in many well-known novels of the era!

Amaryllis: Pride

Black-eyed Susan: Justice

Bluebell: Humility

Calla Lily: Beauty

Pink Camellia: Longing

Carnations: Female love

Yellow Carnation: Rejection

Clematis: Mental beauty

Columbine: Foolishness

Cyclamen: Resignation

Daffodil: Unrivalled love

Daisy: Innocence, loyalty

Forget-me-not: True love

Gardenia: Secret love

Geranium: Folly, stupidity

Gladiolus: Integrity, strength

Hibiscus: Delicate beauty

Honeysuckle: Bonds of love

Blue Hyacinth: Constancy

Hydrangea: Frigid, heartless

Iris: Faith, trust, wisdom

White Jasmine: Amiability

Lavender: Distrust

Lilac: Joy of youth

White Lily: Purity

Orange Lily: Hatred

Tiger Lily: Wealth, pride

Lily-of-the-valley: Sweetness, humility

Lotus: Enlightenment, rebirth

Magnolia: Nobility

Marigold: Grief, jealousy

Morning Glory: Affection

Nasturtium: Patriotism, conquest

Pansy: Thoughtfulness

Peony: Bashfulness, shame

Poppy: Consolation

Red Rose: Love

Yellow Rose: Jealously, infidelity

Snapdragon: Deception, grace

Sunflower: Adoration

Sweet Willian: Gallantry

Red Tulip: Passion

Violet: Watchfulness, modesty

Yarrow: Everlasting love

Zinnia: Absent, affection

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Church of Whale Fall

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Art by Rotort