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For those curious:

Our lowest 3 smash are

2.4 for the Elon Musk poll

2.7 for the charles III

4.6 dor Ellen Degeneres

Our highest 3 smash are

95.5 for the second Sigourney Weaver poll

93 for the Appalachian Moutains

92 for the type 30 rotary phone

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shoutout to these stupid fucking promo pictures from tennant's doctor who cause they wanted cool action shots but the doctor never has any weapons so he's just stanced up like this all the time like he's about to grab ya

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bring out the rotating tiger

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every time I fumble w my phone’s charger cable I think about emailing steven moffat a pipe bomb

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one of my girlfriends only tells the truth. my other girlfriend only tells lies.

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merry christmas guys

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On my first day in Germany I got to my hotel and I couldn't get the lights to turn on. And I was like "Eh, fuck it, I'll just take a shower in the dark." And then the shower wouldn't get hot. I waited and waited and it stayed ice cold.

So I go down to the front desk and I'm like "My lights won't turn on and my shower won't get hot" so they send this guy up with me. We get into the room and I flick the switch and nothing happens so I'm like "See?"

And he goes "You must put your card in the slot."

"I... what? I have to put my room card in the light switch?"

"Of course!"

Now I have been in many hotels in the US and never encountered this concept, but apparently it was something most of their guests already knew. So I'm looking like a fool at this point. I feel like an idiot. The dude is fully grinning at me. I put the card in the slot and voila, the light turns on.

Then he's like "Ok, let's see if the shower works. You know you must wait for the hot water?" and I just know he's thinking I'm an idiot who also can't use a shower. This stupid American can't wait for the hot water! She can't even use a light switch or a shower!

And I guess he was distracted by these thoughts of my stupidity, because this dude fully stepped into the shower. In his nice dress shirt and slacks. He just. Gets into the shower.

And turns it on.

Have you ever seen a playing field get leveled instantaneously

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hits the bong and immediately becomes aware of the narrative

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if i told you what rhis sounded ljke i dont think youd believe me so just listen

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Every single time someone mentions police role-playing in a sexual context I think of this tinder interaction and I instantly become absolutely stricken with laughter

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thirft shop

im gonna fuck your dad

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if you are a normal sized human being who overdrafts at the bank youd have to pay a fee or fine but if your a giant you'd pay a fo or fum

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this video just fucking ruined my vocabulary for the next week. me and my monkaaaay

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yippee yay wahoo! etc

(by kirii.lines on instagram)