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Day 22 amputation

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here's to the imperfect crazy person. the crazy person who trashes their room in the psych ward. the crazy person who yells and talks to themself on the street. the "terrible patient" who is noncompliant with medication. the mad people who use drugs, criminalized or otherwise. the crazy people who don't want to get better, who don't want to stop doing high risk behaviors, who don't want their voices to go away, who reject diagnoses, who refuse treatment, who dare to define our lives in a way that's different than a medicalized institution wants us to pathologize ourselves. here's to the imperfect mad people surviving psychiatric abuse and incarceration every single day. nothing that we do--no matter how odd or unsafe--ever justifies the mistreatment that we face when we get locked up. resisting treatment, daring to defy dehumanization, and all the other million ways we hold onto survival, are never actions that can excuse psych wards from trying to take all of our autonomy and personhood away.

here's to all of us imperfect crazy people. i love us so much and we deserve so much better and we are allowed to demand it without being forced to prove that we were one of the "good" patients first.

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you ever feel like you were born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they’re gonna find out

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I’ve been seeing a few viral posts like “You don’t have to move out of your parents’ house when you turn 18; multi-generational homes are good.” And I agree – multi-generational homes ARE good, and cultural stigma on living with one’s parents as an adult IS wrong! Personally, I’ve lived with my parents for most of my adult life, first by financial necessity, and later by choice. If you’re fortunate enough to have a good relationship with your parents, spending time with them can be great.  BUT.  While you don’t necessarily need to move out of your parents’ home when you’re 18, you DO need to start thinking of yourself as an adult and making your own choices, and your parents will need to respect that. If you and your parents can seamlessly make the transition to viewing you as an adult housemate rather than a child under their care, that’s great. Sometimes, though, even the most respectful parents will have a tendency to Meddle, and even the most self-assured young people will have a tendency to Revert to old roles and habits. If this is a problem, you may in fact need to get some physical distance to reinforce the psychological distance. And even more importantly, every young adult deserves the living wage and affordable housing to live on their own, whether or not they ever choose to use it. I’ve been shouting into the wind for years that the “young adults are still children” narrative is an excuse to normalize the low wages and high costs of living faced by Millennials and Gen Z, and “Multi-generational homes are good” seems hardly better in this respect. At best, it’s tonally mismatched to the cultural and economic moment. At worst, it’s normalizing the conditions of abusive control of young people. Somewhere in between, it’s propaganda reframing being unable to afford housing as a wholesome family lifestyle. In fact, I think the demographic this demographic is nominally targeted to – 18 year olds who are freely choosing between two options, having both the financial resources to live on their own, and supportive parents who would willingly share a safe and respectful multi-generational home – are a relatively small segment of the population.  “Multi-generational homes are good” does nothing for the 18 year old living with their controlling parents because they can’t afford to move out, let alone the 18 year old moving in with an abusive partner because it’s the only way xe can escape xyr even more abusive parents, or the 18 year old living on the streets because her parents kicked her out and she’s ineligible for any benefits because she’s assumed to be supported by her parents (who have no legal obligation towards her). And as always, young people most likely to be controlled, abused, rejected, or involuntarily “helped” (which is also abuse) by parents and family – queer young people, disabled young people, young people who’ve made different reproductive or philosophical or religious or life-path choices than their family approves of – are most harmed by having no economic options to live on their own. So can we get universal housing, universal living wages, and universal healthcare and student aid for young people which doesn’t require the involvement of their families FIRST, and THEN, once everyone has the option of living on their own, remind them that multi-generational homes are also good as one option among many?

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tell me I’m a bad man kick me like a stray IS A CRAZY FUCKING LYRIC

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Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals

[Text ID: “I feel occasionally my skull will crack, fatigue is continuous ⏤ I only go from less exhausted to more exhausted and back again.”]

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is there actually anything more irritating than depression apathy… like why am i sitting here arguing with myself “i kinda wanna play a video game but i kinda don’t because, what, i’m just gonna boot up a game and play it and have fun and close it when i’m done? get real”

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There needs to be more allowance for disabled people to be angry. People want us to be somber and quiet. Sad at our condition and how hard life is. And yeah that’s allowed. But we’re also allowed to be fucking pissed off. People don’t help, people infantilise, governments don’t supply enough support, places aren’t accessible. This isn’t momentary. This is forever. There are so many things we can’t do and so many things we can’t be. Life isn’t fair. It likely won’t get fair enough for most to be comfortable. Yeah, I’m grieving, I’m sad, but I’m also FUCKING ANGRY.