Hey! This is an ask/rp blog for various OCs, some associated with fandoms, others not. Mun is 18+ w/6+ years of experience. Main blog @the-drifters
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((hooo boy! It’s been a while hasn’t it? Well, I disappeared cus I was rp’ing on discord a while, but I’ve grown sick of trying to find servers that aren’t incredibly toxic. So I’m back here cus it’s still fairly chill and it feels easier to set boundaries. Either way, I wanna make some big changes around here.))
((First, I wanna consolidate all of my blogs and move them in one place. I’ve found it works best for me in terms of staying motivated if I keep everything in one place. Second, I may introduce canons to this blog, idk for sure yet. I’ve liked rping them on discord but I don’t know how well it’ll work here. Third, these changes could take a while as I’m going through ongoing health issues, and am otherwise a full time college student + working 3 days a week if nog for the health issues. I literally do not have any days lmao. At least being a short sleeper buys me some time to myself.))
((So… yeah. That’s my plan. I’m also 100% down for rping on discord via DMs or private servers, the latter of the discord options being good for organization too. Either way I’m back and I wanna keep it that way for the time being.))
((Edit: I think it’d be best if I void any threads I left hanging and do a total reset and well. All interactions between muses that have occurred are no longer canon.))
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Reblog if it’s okay for other muses to have unreciprocated feelings for yours!
not all love is returned, and that’s okay! likewise, feel free to specify in the tags if it’s something you’d want to discuss first!
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A thread only works when you have a good partner!! Reblog to show your partners that you appreciate each of them!
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((ok uh now that i’ve announced my return i’ve got some neat plans to share!))
((So not much is gonna change over here on this blog, buuuut the most major announcement here is that I’m creating another sideblog! It’s for muses that are either OCs of mine that don’t fit this universe/don’t tie into mots continuity, or for canon characters I really enjoy rping on discord and wanna rp here on tumblr too.))
((When will this blog be made? I dunno. but it’ll happen. I promise.))
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((Return of the king…))
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horizon: forbidden west starters
❝ it won’t be long before we hit the point of no return. ❞ ❝ every night, i have the same dream. ❞ ❝ i’ve been tracking you a long way. ❞ ❝ you know what they say. if you want something done right, do it yourself. ❞ ❝ what happened next was…not something i like to remember. ❞ ❝ and for a moment, i feel whole. but it never lasts. ❞ ❝ we’ll camp out here until we get our strength back up. ❞ ❝ you know i hate being called that. ❞ ❝ well, you may lack sense — but you don’t lack courage. ❞ ❝ you can’t ignore it forever. memories always come back. ❞ ❝ my world stopped revolving around you months ago. ❞ ❝ i thought soothing the suffering of others would somehow appease my own. ❞ ❝ i’m not much for parties. ❞ ❝ i was thinking we could spar for a bit. when you have the time. ❞ ❝ there is something about you that doesn’t seem natural. ❞ ❝ it’s not like everyone can be born with a sword glued to their hand. ❞ ❝ the last thing i wanted was to worry you. ❞ ❝ any scrap of hope is better than nothing. ❞ ❝ i know what it’s like when your family looks down on you. ❞ ❝ i didn’t think i was that well-known. ❞ ❝ i hope you don’t hold it against me. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry you had to go through that. ❞ ❝ speak the truth. plain and simple. ❞ ❝ you’re stuck with me now — like bark on wood. ❞ ❝ if the end of the world’s coming, i don’t wanna be sober for it. ❞ ❝ i’m no stranger to hardship. ❞ ❝ ah, nothing…you just look good, that’s all. ❞ ❝ aren’t you a jewel in a junk heap? ❞ ❝ they say the only thing that makes a cold brew go down easier is a tale of times gone by. ❞ ❝ tell me what happened. step by step. ❞ ❝ forget what you think you know about me. ❞ ❝ i dread to think what would’ve happened if you hadn’t shown up. ❞ ❝ you can try to hide it, but inside, you’re as soft as a silk pillow. ❞ ❝ you’re going on without me, aren’t you? ❞ ❝ we need a lot more than eager hearts to win. ❞ ❝ the company you keep is even worse than i thought. ❞ ❝ you are unhappy. good. ❞ ❝ what about you? will time heal your wounds? ❞ ❝ so this is it? after everything we’ve been through…this is goodbye? ❞ ❝ i’m not here to fight for you. ❞ ❝ you must succeed or this was all for nothing. ❞ ❝ i can’t claim to understand. only empathize. ❞ ❝ trust me. i know what i’m doing. ❞ ❝ i got a couple of scrapes on the way here. ❞ ❝ shh now…everything will be fine. ❞ ❝ what’s wrong? is it your injury? ❞ ❝ i hope all is well enough under the circumstances. ❞ ❝ i gotta take a breather. ❞ ❝ i thought we were finally going to get away from this place. ❞ ❝ i can’t believe we actually made it. ❞ ❝ what i have to do…it’s better if i do it alone. ❞ ❝ don’t forget to stand up for yourself. ❞ ❝ can’t tell if you’re shy or scared. ❞ ❝ sometimes a dream has to die. ❞ ❝ i’m alone in bearing the burden. ❞ ❝ well, this is a warm welcome. ❞ ❝ each journey begins with a single step. ❞ ❝ i often prefer plants to people. ❞ ❝ wish i could say i’ve been through worse. ❞ ❝ nobody’s handed me anything or dropped opportunity in my lap. everything i’ve achieved, i’ve done on my own. ❞ ❝ greatness is never easy. ❞ ❝ just try not to get hurt. ❞ ❝ you mustn’t judge me. i had no choice. ❞ ❝ trust me, you don’t want to know. ❞ ❝ why didn’t you wake me? ❞ ❝ everyone makes mistakes. ❞ ❝ how can i say no to that? ❞ ❝ these days, you don’t seem to appreciate anything. ❞ ❝ i won’t be anyone’s second choice. ❞ ❝ you were a great warrior once. ❞ ❝ sounds like you could use a hand. ❞ ❝ i mean, have you ever even had a friend? ❞ ❝ ugh, what’s that stench? ❞ ❝ i’m not saying it’s a bad idea. i’m saying it’s overkill. ❞ ❝ you know better than anyone it’s a dangerous world out there. ❞ ❝ what’s done is done. ❞ ❝ i’m guessing you’ve got a lot of questions. ❞ ❝ is there nothing you can’t do? ❞ ❝ trust me — you don’t want to go in there. ❞ ❝ the exceptional walk a path of solitude. ❞ ❝ you, sorry? that’d be a first. ❞ ❝ you might want to sleep with one eye open. ❞ ❝ it’s okay. i’ve fought bigger. ❞ ❝ i’ve never heard of anything so selfish. ❞ ❝ seems like you could use a shoulder to lean on. ❞ ❝ come back someday and tell me about your adventures. ❞ ❝ you’ve shown strength and wisdom today. ❞ ❝ false hope is a creeping vine. ❞ ❝ someone’s being awfully mysterious. ❞ ❝ you must think i’m eminently stupid. ❞ ❝ do i smell…ale? ❞ ❝ i’m not looking for any trouble. ❞ ❝ it’s good to see you, but i can’t stay long. ❞ ❝ the burden of your task is written across your face. ❞ ❝ so. that’s my story. ❞ ❝ that’s a little harsh, isn’t it? ❞ ❝ do you really think we can do something about all of this? ❞ ❝ people only follow you because you say so. loudly. ❞ ❝ it’s over. i failed. ❞ ❝ i’ve gotten used to seeing impossible things, thanks to you. ❞ ❝ that’s all you’re going to tell me? ❞ ❝ it’s nice to save a life instead of end one. ❞ ❝ you want me to come with you? ❞ ❝ you don’t have to be afraid. ❞ ❝ don’t worry about me. i’ll be fine. ❞ ❝ sorry. you’re not getting rid of me that easily. ❞ ❝ you sure i shouldn’t come with you? ❞ ❝ why are you here? what is your purpose? ❞ ❝ i’m not trying to shut you out. ❞ ❝ if this is too much for your old bones, you can always head back. ❞ ❝ something doesn’t want us here. ❞ ❝ i’m going to make sure you pay for all the suffering you have caused. ❞ ❝ please, just don’t break anything. ❞ ❝ you’re not wanted here. ❞ ❝ your skill with a bow never ceases to amaze. ❞ ❝ you must think i’m an idiot. ❞ ❝ didn’t think i was going to make it. ❞ ❝ a true warrior makes use of every advantage. ❞ ❝ maybe just don’t disappear completely this time? ❞ ❝ what, afraid i’ll stab you or something? ❞ ❝ any kindness we seed, we should also sow. ❞ ❝ sounds like you were a force to be reckoned with. ❞ ❝ it must be urgent since you left so fast. ❞ ❝ this isn’t going to work. ❞ ❝ i’m not getting dragged further into this madness. ❞ ❝ i never wanted any of this to happen. ❞ ❝ if you want, we can talk about it. ❞ ❝ everything feels…unreal. distant. ❞ ❝ as long as you’re honest with yourself, nobody can hold your choices against you. ❞ ❝ you sure know how to fight. ❞ ❝ how many more do i have to kill? when does it end? ❞ ❝ the blade answers only to the hand that commands it. ❞ ❝ i’m not the trusting type. ❞ ❝ i like to make my own judgements about people. ❞ ❝ i knew my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me. ❞ ❝ when we are united, we can overcome any threat. ❞ ❝ you fought well back there. ❞ ❝ that wound needs to be looked at. ❞ ❝ what have you done? ❞ ❝ i trust you will point my blade where it will cut the deepest. ❞ ❝ what do you need me to do? ❞ ❝ the world seems quieter when it snows. ❞ ❝ that was an unkind comparison. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry for my unannounced appearance. ❞ ❝ sundown. stars will be out soon. ❞ ❝ no nonsense. i like it. ❞ ❝ one thing’s for sure. we’re not alone out here. ❞ ❝ you made quite an impression that day. ❞ ❝ okay, you got me. i’m curious. ❞ ❝ you’re never one to hold back, are you? ❞ ❝ hold your fire. i’m not here to fight. ❞ ❝ a loss today is a win tomorrow. ❞ ❝ i tried to vent my grief on the battlefield…but i never found comfort. ❞ ❝ maybe now you can tell me what we’re doing here? ❞ ❝ did you hit your head on your way down here? ❞ ❝ you got blindsided. wasn’t your fault. ❞ ❝ true courage means facing those fears with conviction instead of cynicism. ❞ ❝ follow my lead and be prepared for anything. ❞ ❝ this place is really falling apart. ❞ ❝ one of these days i’m gonna shut that arrogant mouth of yours. ❞ ❝ let’s hold off with the ale until it’s over and done with. ❞ ❝ you’re the worst, you know that? ❞ ❝ i will do whatever i can. i promise. ❞ ❝ it’s time for the truth, and it better be convincing. ❞ ❝ everyone thought you were dead. ❞ ❝ i can always count on you. ❞ ❝ nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. ❞ ❝ i’m not gonna kill you, okay? ❞ ❝ you haven’t let me down yet. ❞ ❝ i will not let myself hope just yet. ❞ ❝ i’m glad you’re with me. ❞ ❝ you’ve got guts. i’ll give you that. ❞ ❝ you’re a long way from home. ❞ ❝ i didn’t come all this way to stop now. ❞ ❝ you can be so boorish. ❞ ❝ okay, enough. i’m gonna get emotional. ❞ ❝ no. i am not wearing that. no way. ❞ ❝ i can barely breathe. ❞ ❝ this is what i am now. ❞ ❝ and now you know the truth. ❞ ❝ will i feel different? whole again? ❞ ❝ the road to truth is never a straight line. ❞ ❝ this place is a maze. ❞ ❝ i’m not some legend come to life. ❞ ❝ you look like you have something on your mind. ❞ ❝ you shouldn’t believe everything you hear. ❞ ❝ things were simpler then. ❞ ❝ i’m just stubborn. it’s a good quality to have, dealing with you. ❞ ❝ it’s been a long road. we’ve suffered. we’ll continue to suffer. ❞ ❝ we’re a lot alike, huh? ❞ ❝ whatever comes, we will endure. ❞ ❝ what’s so important down there that you’d risk your life? ❞ ❝ are you even listening? ❞ ❝ we can’t sit around wallowing in our sadness. ❞ ❝ yeah, maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. ❞ ❝ destiny shines upon us. ❞ ❝ don’t be so quick to dismiss the comfort we can find in art. ❞ ❝ don’t worry. i’ll protect you. ❞ ❝ i told you i wanted to help you. i meant it. ❞ ❝ i am no threat. ❞ ❝ even when things are darkest, you’re the flame that lights the way forward. ❞ ❝ you have opened my eyes to many things. ❞ ❝ you were part of something bigger once. something good. ❞ ❝ what i wouldn’t give to watch you die. ❞ ❝ it all turned out well, in the end. ❞ ❝ there’s something very powerful somewhere beyond that door. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry i couldn’t do more to help you. ❞
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→ BE MY VALENTINE!
prompts to celebrate valentine’s day, with options for romantic or platonic. even the enemies can have some valentine’s fun. ‘my muse’ meaning receiver’s muse! can also reverse if you’d like.
🌷 to kiss my muse
💖 to confess attraction to my muse
🍫 to give my muse a box of chocolates
🌹 to give my muse flowers
🧸 to give my muse a giant teddy bear
🍷 to invite my muse to dinner
✨ to go stargazing with my muse
☕ for our muses to have coffee together
🌈 for our muses to dance together
🌼 for my muse to compliment your muse
🥀 for my muse to confess a secret
🍒 for your muse to tie a cherry stem with their tongue
🦢 for my muse to talk about someone they love
🔪 for my muse to threaten your muse
🖤 for my muse to reject your muse
— ♥ —
“Be my valentine?”
“Would you be so kind as to fall in love with me?”
“Darling, you’re the one I want.”
“This is no time for confessing.“
“You know, darling, you bring out the worst in me.”
“If you’re free tonight, maybe we could spend some time together.”
“I know I’ve kissed you before, but I didn’t do it right. Can I try again?”
“I hate Valentine’s Day.”
“I love you— ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”
“You have my whole heart.”
“I hope I never lose you.”
“All the good in me is because of you.“
“If I could give you the moon, I would.”
“Eat your heart out.”
“We both have our rabid hearts.”
“I thought maybe we would kiss tonight.”
“You’re not the person I wanted to see today.”
“I love everybody because I love you.”
“Do you want company?”
“Nobody fucks me like me.”
“Can we always be this close?”
“Please don’t say you love me.”
“I once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden.”
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“Well, you’re about 19 years too late. But I’m sure there’s something you could still teach me…”
"What are my plans for Valentine's Day? Teach a couple of lucky street orphans the way of the con. How are they lucky? I become a financier of sorts."
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((major ooc thing i need to address cus i don’t want to step on anyone’s toes))
((So it seems that muns I followed and/or may have interacted with in the distant past have become active again. Unfortunately, I lost most of my memory sometime during 2020. I’ve unfollowed many of these muns because they’re no longer familiar to me. That being said, if you’re one of those muns, feel free to come into my IMs and remind me who you are cus it may jog my memory, and I’ll gladly follow you back you if you’d like. I’m still open to interactions- just know that while you may remember me, I may or may not remember you. I’d prefer to be treated like someone new.))
#behind the scenes;ooc#((So for some clarity- i have some sort of undiagnosed dissociative disorder. my family and i think it could be DID but we aren’t sure))#((and i still have a lot of dissociative amnesia to this day))#((but i’m in the process of getting whatever this is diagnosed. i have an intake w/a psychiatrist on the 14th))
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WEAPON BASED SENTENCE PROMPTS .
A VARIETY & MIXTURE OF USE OF WEAPONS PROMPTS, TRIGGERS MAY APPLY; BLOOD, WEAPONRY, ETC. CHANGE PRONOUNS AS NEEDED / FITTING .
i. knives.
❛ is that a knife behind your back? ❜
❛ how many knives do you own? ❜
❛ i’m not interested in seeing your knife collection. ❜
❛ do you ever not want to stab someone? ❜
❛ you stabbed me! ❜
❛ it’s the biggest knife i found in the kitchen. ❜
❛ don’t stab me! ❜
❛ why do you have so many knives? ❜
❛ i’ve got a knife collection. ❜
❛ my knife is bigger than yours. ❜
❛ why are you holding a knife– a bloody knife .. ❜
❛ does that knife have blood on it? ❜
❛ why would you give me your knife? ❜
❛ that’s a pretty cool knife, where’d you get it? ❜
❛ you went a little stab crazy. ❜
❛ did you hear about that stabbing? ❜
❛ you tried to stab me! ❜
❛ you threatened to stab me! ❜
ii. guns.
❛ hey, that’s not a toy, put it down. ❜
❛ where did you get all these guns? ❜
❛ i don’t know how to use one of these things. ❜
❛ i’m not sure if having a gun is a good idea.�� ❜
❛ don’t point that thing at me! ❜
❛ you point that thing at me you better pull the trigger. ❜
❛ don’t shoot! ❜
❛ what’s the gun for? ❜
❛ you with a gun is a dangerous thing. ❜
❛ maybe you can teach me to shoot. ❜
❛ can you teach me how to shoot? ❜
❛ is the safety on that thing? ❜
❛ who shot you? ❜
❛ watch where you point that thing. ❜
❛ you almost shot me! ❜
❛ did you hear about that shooting? ❜
❛ you've been shot! ❜
❛ you shot someone! ❜
iii. swords.
❛ you really don’t want to dual me. ❜
❛ you’re pretty good with a sword. ❜
❛ you’re the best swordsman/woman i know. ❜
❛ why is there a sword on your wall? ❜
❛ where’s my sword! ❜
❛ i thought you had the sword. ❜
❛ put the sword down! ❜
❛ dare to dual? ❜
❛ this is the last sword fight you’ll ever have. ❜
❛ i’m in need of a sword. �� ❜
❛ can you teach me how to use a sword? ❜
❛ is this how you hold it? ❜
❛ you use my own sword against me? ❜
❛ that isn’t how to hold it right. ❜
❛ give me your sword! ❜
❛ you really want a sword? ❜
❛ what are you doing with a sword? ❜
❛ where’d you learn to use a sword? ❜
iv. axes.
❛ why do you always carry around an ax? ❜
❛ what’s with the ax? ❜
❛ i’ve got an ax and i’m not afraid to use it. ❜
❛ i thought axes were for chopping wood. ❜
❛ this ax here, it chops more than wood. ❜
❛ i need to use the ax for something. ❜
❛ where the hell is my ax? ❜
❛ what are you doing with that ax? ❜
❛ the ax is missing. ❜
❛ guess i’ll need a new ax. ❜
❛ who keeps an ax in the city? ❜
❛ does that ax have blood on it? ❜
❛ what’s with the ax? ❜
❛ please help me! someone is chasing me with an ax. ❜
❛ drop the ax! ❜
❛ are you going to hurt someone with that ax? ❜
❛ funny thing, ax is gone. just vanished. ❜
❛ did you take my ax? ❜
v. whips.
❛ you really are amazing with that whip. ❜
❛ do you even know how to use a whip? ❜
❛ who knew you having a whip as a weapon would be attractive. ❜
❛ pretty quick with that whip there. ❜
❛ careful, he/she/they have a whip! ❜
❛ i only saw the whip, not the person handling it. ❜
❛ put the whip down! ❜
❛ what is that, a whip? ❜
❛ your whip excites me. ❜
❛ i didn’t know you could use a whip. ❜
❛ can you teach me how to use a whip? ❜
❛ how do i use this thing? ❜
❛ you use my own whip against me? ❜
❛ i’ve come to retrieve my whip. ❜
❛ give me your whip! ❜
❛ you have my whip? ❜
❛ what are you doing with a whip? ❜
vi. bows.
❛ you are pretty good with that bow and arrow. ❜
❛ you know how to use a bow and arrow? ❜
❛ they took my bow, i’m going to get it back. ❜
❛ i didn’t know you could use a bow and arrow. ❜
❛ careful, he/she/they have a bow and arrow! ❜
❛ you almost shot me with an arrow! ❜
❛ you shot me in the butt with an arrow! ❜
❛ where’s my bow? ❜
❛ just know, i never miss. ❜
❛ i can teach you how to use it, if you want. ❜
❛ how do you even put the arrow in this thing? ❜
❛ what’s with the bow and arrow? ❜
❛ you use my own bow against me? ❜
❛ i’ve come to bow back. ❜
❛ give me your bow and arrow! quickly! ❜
❛ you have my bow? ❜
❛ what are you doing with my bow? ❜
vii. improvised.
❛ hey, watch where you’re swinging that bat. ❜
❛ will stop throwing your hairsprays and perfumes at me? ❜
❛ practicing for baseball or something else? ❜
❛ this isn’t just any nail filer, it’s got a mean blade within. ❜
❛ you through a blender at me! ❜
❛ i will spray in the eyes with my perfume if come any closer. ❜
❛ i can nearly slit your throat with my finger nail! ❜
❛ what are you going to do with that brush, give me a make over? ❜
❛ i wouldn’t apply that lipstick if i were you, it’s not really lipstick. ❜
❛ run! she/he/they has a bat! ❜
❛ you couldn’t have grabbed something better than that? ❜
❛ you sprayed me in the eye with pepper spray! ❜
❛ anything can be turned into a weapon. ❜
❛ i don’t just wear my stiletto’s, they are more handy than you think. ❜
❛ is that a pencil with a blade? ❜
❛ you knocked me out with a can of soup. ❜
❛ trust me, i can use anything to my defense. ❜
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Send ‘ 📬 ‘ for the receiver to go through the memes they’ve reblogged recently & send a few to the sender ! If you can not see the symbol, instead send: ‘ Any mail for me ? ‘
( Sometimes we all just need a tiny push to start engaging with one another ! Let this be the sign you needed to start interacting with your writing partners ! )
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Spacefaring Science Fiction Starters
"I heard the teleporter hasn't been perfected yet. There's no way I'm going into a machine that might reduce me to meat and tubes."
"You're telling me we're _ light years from Earth, and the ice cream maker still doesn't work?"
"I'm (rank) (full name) of the (ship name).)
"Hey, can you come get me? Some space pirates took off with my ship and now I'm just stuck here on this backwater planet!"
"If you joined up expecting Orion slave girls or Twi'leks. Then you might want to reconsider your choice. Because you'll find none of those out here."
"This is nothing like the simulations!"
"Who do I talk to on this ship about my shower not having hot water?"
"Whoever is blasting _ on every deck of the ship please report to your commanding officer immediately!"
"To think it's the _ century and I'm still getting spam in my messages."
"What do you mean I was going FTL in a non-FTL zone?! There is no such thing as speeding in space!"
Remember to specify muse for multi-muse blogs!
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Don’t punish me .. don’t ‘good job’ me
Don’t reward me .. don’t - don’t you ever degrade me that way ..
I am NOT your pet
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((hey hi y’all so this piece of shit biological mistake of a body decided to have another endo flare up despite it being suppressed so my activity here and on my sideblog may be spotty because i’m extremely hypoglycemic. that and my second semester has started so between that, work, and a chronic illness, i’m hella occupied.))
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For every "♡" I get I'll give a tip on how to win my muse's heart.
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// Just a test! Reblog it if my muse can jump in your askbox without annoying the mun!
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prompts for emotionally stunted idiots
because my friends muses need therapy. will they get it? absolutely not.
AVOIDING THE TERRIFYING ORDEAL OF BEING KNOWN:
“ yeah i’m pissed off but i’d rather not talk about it. that’s why you’re the one i came to. ”
“ i’m not looking for a friend. i’m looking for someone just as angry as i am. ”
“ i’m not good at caring about people’s shit on purpose. ”
“ i’m not gonna ask if ‘you’re okay’ cause that’s fuckin’ annoying. you wanna get the hell out of here and do something? ”
“ i don’t wanna talk about it. you got a beer? ”
“ upset? why would i be upset? ”
“ so you wanna go find something to break? ”
“ hey you want me to kill that guy for you? ”
“ i just need to get this shit done. and i trust you to help me do that. ”
“ you’re hot. and i’m bored. ”
“ can we just have some meaningless sex we can both pretend didn’t happen tomorrow morning? ”
“ i can think of at least a dozen people that need killing. or a light beating. will that cheer you up? ”
“ i’ve a got job and i think you’d be the perfect fit. so you in? ”
“ yeah i don’t do the whole crying thing. give me something to stab and i’ll be good in a day or two. ”
“ i banged it out and now i feel great. next question. ”
“ if i think about it, i get angry. and i don’t know where that anger stops. so i’d rather not start at all. ”
VARIOUS SENTENCES WITH ABSOLUTELY NO DEPTH U COWARDS:
“ if you’re gonna stay here you can’t be sober so either take the fruity beer or the shitty wine or let me be vibe in peace. ”
“ how much insect essence do you think are in every square inch of chocolate? like just how many cockroach guts have i consumed with my hershey’s? ”
“ you should’ve seen the look on their face. it’s been so long since i’ve made someone that fuckin’ angry it was great. ”
“ i have this neighbor who keeps playing driver’s license at 10 a.m. every morning and i’m starting to question if it’s a sixteen year old getting over a breakup or a 36 year old trying to reclaim their childhood. at this point the mystery is the only thing keeping me going. ”
“ do i trust you? absolutely not. next question. ”
“ if i don’t get a nap in the next hour i’ll probably murder someone. ”
“ you’re getting that look in your eyes like you’re about to ask me what’s wrong so i’m gonna save us both the awkwardness of finding an excuse to leave and just go now. ”
“ i’m here to raid your fridge cause my date went really bad and all i’ve had is lukewarm water and breadsticks. ”
“ i’m making a fake tinder profile to see how gullible guys are, wanna help? ”
“ hey i got something for you look! ” *holds up middle finger*
U MIGHT GET PUNCHED:
“ why are you really here? ”
“ i’m not leaving until you tell me what the fuck is going on. ”
“ you can’t solve every problem with your fists. ”
“ i’m not here to talk about me. what the hell is going on with you? ”
“ you think i don’t notice but i do. i can tell something’s wrong. ”
“ i can see beneath your smile. ”
“ why won’t you just tell me the truth? ”
“ what are you hiding? and don’t you dare try to lie to me. ”
“ what the hell did you do? ”
“ so are we gonna talk about it or are we gonna pretend nothing’s wrong here? ”
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