dreamingbrittany-blog

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Seconds that passed as the two tried to suffer through their attempt at conversation felt as if they were hours long at this point, and Brittany was silently curing herself altogether. She knew that some sort of reunion like this would occur, so why was she reacting the way she was? Shaking her head furiously, the blonde balled her hands into fists as she pressed them against her eyes as she took a few deep breaths. No, I can't love someone who just leaves me. Why did you leave New York? We could have fixed things. I miss you and hate you at the same time. Countless thoughts flashed through the young woman's mind. It was time to bury the issues that the both of them had. The same problems that had drove Brittany to feeling like she was suffocating as the world was quickly growing up around her.

"..You should just go home Santana."

The words stumbled from the blonde's mouth and her eyes widened in surprise at her own words that came from her lips. Still in shock from the words that had been bottled up for so long ever since they saw each other after so many years, Brittany shifted so that she faced the room where the rest of the group still remained. She turned back to Santana avoiding any sort of eye contact altogether as she stared at the blank wall behind her. 

"I can't keep talking about this, I have something good in my life finally and I don't want to do this again."

And with that, Brittany quickly walked back into the main room with the rest of their fellow cast mates trying to avoid the fact that she probably had just shut Santana out of her life forever.

Such A Bad Dream || Brittana [Flashback]

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Aw man, you had to leave? That sucks, are you going to do a different show?

And with that...

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Oh yeah, I'm comin' in the home room stretch Mr. Abrams. Thank you though, it's gonna be super fun and stress-free once this opening gets by I hope.

One Week And Counting

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Thank you. It should be a nice time.

One Week And Counting

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Congratulations you awesome famous blonde friend of mine. What's next on the list? World Domination?

Such a weight off my shoulders!

Everyone loved the movie, thank you to all that made it and enjoyed the Team Country creation. Today has been great and even better news is that Trout is moving up to Capitol. 

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One Week And Counting

I don't even know if I'm awake and typing this, or if I'm in some strange exhaustion-like coma stage, but yes.. we're on the final countdown. We're doing the last finishing touches on a few things, but Studio 5678 is slated to open next Saturday for an open house. 

If anyone knows some little kiddies that need lessons, hit me up and I'll totally not be creepy and talk to their parents and see if they would trust me or Karli with that. 

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What happened to your show? Did they not like it?

And with that...

I am showless. Strange.

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Drinking's fun too though until you fall and embarrass yourself though.

I've been miserable keeping up with people

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Mass Text || Everyone

Sugar: Hello everyone. I just wanted to tell everyone, before it comes out on the news that I'll be taking the show on tour for the rest of the year. Which means overseas, at least for the moment. There's a few that know, like Puck and Rachel, but I figured the rest of you have a right to know before finding out on your tvs. I hope you all will be as happy as me and Maddie are. :) Thank you.

Brittany: Ahh! My little Sugar is all grown up. Are you excited?! This is gonna be an awesome opportunity for you.

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Were you in a sleeping coma, or did you drink way too much?

I've been miserable keeping up with people

Was passed out basically all of Spring break, as well as a ton of shenanigans with Kato, we went down to Georgia to visit my folks. And then we had midterm craziness before then too.

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Aw man, sorry to hear that super director genius. One day they'll realize how cool your stuff is and give all the awards they didn't give you before. It's going pretty good, there's a little bit of paining left before we can install everything for the opening, but I'm not totally freaking out yet.

Oscar Weekend!

[dreamingbrittany-blog]

Hearing Santana try to explain herself about her absence caused the girl's shoulders to tense as she tried to prevent herself from saying a word. Even when they were married, Brittany wanted her wife to have the world. She wanted her to be a successful singer with a supportive wife who would drop everything in a heartbeat in order to help her and a slight hint of her in that very moment wanted to say something in return trying to undermine the situation. She hated when Santana talked like this because it was something that she couldn't fix, but over the years Brittany had done some growing up for herself too. As she furiously worked to transform an empty storefront to the studio she always wanted alongside her old college friend, the blonde finally realized that she wasn't simply put on this earth to help others- she was here to make a name for herself too.

She found her feet taking a few steps back down the hallway as Santana came closer before she furrowed her eyes trying to glue herself to her spot. Mentions of who was the stronger person in the relationship was hardly a fight for the two of them because it was obvious that they'd both say the other person was better. Brittany wasn't strong- she couldn't sleep in her bedroom for weeks after Santana left and found that working to the point that she made herself sick from the stress was the only way to get through her days for awhile. Flashes of the morning after Santana came for one night that seemed like their final night together as Brittany questioned Santana's words.

"You.. you came back.. you came back and I thought maybe we'd.. Maybe we'd have a hope at something after we weren't together anymore, but it just made me realize.. I can't love you. It hurts too much to even try."

Such A Bad Dream || Brittana [Flashback]

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I totally forgot all about those things, but I hope you seriously dominated and took home a whole bunch of shiny things.

Oscar Weekend!

After one hell of a reunion week in Lima, I’m slowly getting used to being back in Los Angeles again.  The Academy Awards should be a pretty big crash course into all of this again… but is it wrong to say I kind of miss being back in Ohio just a little bit?

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Brittany wished she could take back the words that just came from her mouth, but she knew what was said was done, and she didn't want to admit to herself, but it felt like there was a small weight taken off her shoulders from her sharp-tongued comment. This was a moment that the blonde worried about the entire journey to the reunion- she wished that she would have stayed as far away from Santana as possible. Contemplating silently getting up and moving out of the room, Brittany's eyes remained glued to the floor in front of her as she tried to ignore the stinging sensation quickly forming in her eyes. Don't be stupid, she coaxed herself trying to keep any tears of of the picture. You've cried too much about this. 

When Santana started speaking again, there was almost a sort of panic in her voice mixed with frustration, and the blonde rapidly shook her head at every sentence that came out of her mouth. Brittany never considered Santana a bad person, but she was beyond the point of hearing that she loved her- something that obviously left between the two of them when she left their apartment in New York. "You... you don-" Brittany began, her voice raising slightly as her hands trembled against her legs, "You can't.. you can't say things like that because.. y-you're the one that left, you're the one that gave up on everything!" Her left hand balled into a fist as it hit the carpet of the hallway before she quickly brushed it against her eyes, "On.. us." Her voice cracked slightly at the end causing the blonde to squeeze her eyes shut. "I lost my wife.. but, a best friend.. someone that I could talk to.. c-could talk about my problems with, and that's just gone.. forever."

Such A Bad Dream || Brittana

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Attempting to have any sort of conversation with Santana proved to be difficult because all that Brittany thought about was whether Santana would push it away like it wasn't a big deal the same way she left without a sound. She wanted to talk about how excited she was about her studio, how she had some problems creep up with anxiety again that had her living out home with Mother for a short period after they divorced and especially how heartbroken she was when she realized Santana had changed her phone number, but Brittany found herself unable to form any words. She nodded slightly at Santana's words shrugging at the word miserable. The blonde wasn't completely sure if she'd call the experience miserable, but she knew it was difficult to get through the day without having some sort of jealousy regarding her friend's lives. Even after the two of them had space from each other for years, Brittany still felt a wave of emotion that were confusing. She felt an unconditional amount of love to the girl in front of her, but at the same time she was beyond angry after everything that happened. The divorce had been ugly for the both of them, but Brittany didn't want her life without Santana altogether- it never felt the same again. Her lip trembled for a few seconds before she quickly bit down hard on it, the words spilling out of her mouth,

"Why.. why are you here? It's not like you want to be my friend or anyone else's here."

Such A Bad Dream || Brittana