dreamilyunaffectedwreck

[dreamilyunaffectedwreck]

What is Happening? Chapter 3

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Reader works in a floral nursery with Jason, who seemingly hates her for some reason. During a wedding the nursery is holding, things happen that lead to more questions than answers for the reader.*Smut

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The rain was torrential and the roads were quickly amassing a deep layer of water. The motorway into town from the nursery was devoid of all cars except’s Leanna’s as it sat quietly off to the side. The car was fine, it had been powering through the storm pretty well with the wipers working overtime to clear the windshield, but the driver needed to stop.

  This hadn’t happened since she had left her old job and moved out here, but now there it was again. The disturbing feelings of being unable to breathe and the tortuous nausea and dizziness of the anxiety attacks her meds and a new life had all but banished were back. It had started halfway through her drive home where all of her feelings had bundled up into a too-giant clump of awfulness that just expanded in her mind and manifested as a hand squeezing her chest.    She couldn’t breathe - she was going to puke.

  Taking a deep breath in through her nose and slowly letting it out of her mouth she allowed the rain hitting her car to take over her senses as much as possible.

  It’ll pass. You’re fine. You’re safe. It’s just your brain being silly. There’s nothing to be afraid of.

  She gripped the steering wheel with both of her hands and leaned her forehead against it, repeating her little mantra and trying to steady her breaths. The shaking started lightly and she revelled in the trembling as it took her mind off of the nausea.


  You’re fine. Feel the steering wheel, hear the rain, smell the-

  A knocking at her window had her jumping in her seat and made her heart race all over again. She almost shrieked at the helmeted figure she could just make out through the rain covered glass before realizing who it was. She would recognize that red helmet and leather jacket anywhere. How had she not heard his bike?

  He knocked again and motioned for her to open her window. Her grip on the wheel tightened as the nausea flared up, much worse this time. She shook her head and waved him off, bringing her head back down to the wheel to re-start her calming process.

  Jason didn’t like her response and reached for the door handle, trying to open it but it had been locked. Leanna waved him off again, this time not even bothering to bring her head up. He ground his teeth, his jaw clenching, as he thought about what to do. He pulled his helmet off and knocked again, wanting her to see his face this time, hoping him standing in the rain might get her to open the door.


  It worked, partially, as Leanna groaned in annoyance when she saw what he was doing, unlocking the door and opening it just a smidge.

  “I’m fine.” And she tried to close it just as quickly but he caught the edge with his gloved hand.

  “Clearly not.” He had to raise his voice over the rain, his hand slipping slightly under the wet metal.

  She swallowed and closed her eyes before responding, slowly.

  “Just..gonna puke…if you don’t…leave me alone. Please.” She brought the back of her hand up to her mouth and tried to breathe through her nose, her anxiety ramping up as he stood there with his imposing presence taking over her senses. It was getting to be too much, she needed to decompress now or she was going to embarrass herself in front of him even further.


  Jason frowned at her wondering if she was sick before he saw her tremors and it clicked. He had had panic attacks before, not like this, but he could recognize it. And he was smart enough to realize that he may have played a part in this one, so he chose to back off. For now.

  “I’ll wait back here.”

  “No!…No…too wet. Go home.” Leanna responded quickly and in dismay, not wanting him to literally sit on his bike behind her car until she felt well enough to continue on. Maybe if it had been a beautiful sunny day, but even then, she couldn’t have him around. It caused too many thoughts, too many feelings.

  He sighed, weighing his options.

  “Alright. I’ll go home, give you twenty minutes to calm down, and then I’m coming back out here if you don’t pull into my driveway in twenty-five.”

  Leanna just nodded, still staring into the black of her steering wheel, breathing deeply.

  He was about to head back to his bike when he paused.

  “You remember where to go?” He asked, not sure how much of their late night drive she had been paying attention to.

  “Mhmm.” She responded through clenched lips.

  Jason said nothing as he closed the door gently and walked back to his bike, leaving her to her quiet car once again. She glanced up and saw his figure through the windshield get smaller and smaller, then looked to her car’s clock, noting the time, knowing he would be back for her if she didn’t follow his instructions. The relief at once again being alone allowed her to slump back into her seat and just listen to the rain and focus on her breathing. Within fifteen minutes the nausea was gone and the shaking had taken its main hold, causing violent tremors all through her body but she took a breath and started up the car. So far so good.

***

  The ride is slow as she takes her time, worried the anxiety would creep back up as she gets closer to Jason’s house, to him, but the country road is soothing and the lightning and thunder that continued above her add to her shivering in a deliciously distracting way.

  The cute little yellow house with the blue door comes into view with three minutes to spare. She pulls into the driveway and sits there, wondering what she should do - what she wants to do. Deciding to be brave, she grabs her purse and steps out, walking slowly to the covered front porch; since she was still wet from her earlier drenching there was no need to rush out of the downpour. Jason is standing at his front door with his arms crossed, having watched her pull in. His hair is wet but his clothes are freshly dried.

  That bastard knew I’d show up.

  He moves to the side to allow her in, motioning to the bathroom.

  “I put some clothes in there for you.”

  “…Thank you.” She says quietly, walking to the room and shutting the door behind her. She goes through the motions of undressing from her sopping outfit and drying off with the fluffy white towel he had placed on top of some grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt. Looking in the mirror she fiddles with her hair for a few minutes, finding comfort in the mundane task, before deciding she was courageous enough to face him again.

  She doesn’t find him in the living room, or the kitchen, but notices his dark head of hair through a window; he was sitting on the porch, presumably watching the storm. Shuffling over to the front door and stopping at the barrier to the outside world, she watches him watch the sky and just lets herself enjoy his beauty, until he feels her eyes on him and looks over.

  “I made you some tea.” He nods towards the mug of a golden coloured liquid and looks back out at the dark clouds, still lighting up in glorious strings of electric blue and white.


  She walks over to the love seat beside the chair he sits in and instinctually grabs the drink, taking a sip and feeling pleasantly warmed by the honey sweetened chamomile. Sighing and sitting back against the pillows, she continues to take small sips.

  “It aways helps calm me down.” He offers, and when she looks at him questioningly, he continues. “With the panic attacks. Doesn’t happen often anymore, but I like to keep it around just in case.” He then moves to stand, his arms coming up around her, puling a blanket down from the back of the seat and wrapping it around her shoulders.

  “That should help a bit too, with the shivering. It’s weighted.”

  Leanna just stared at him for a few moments, before placing the mug on the table.

  “Jason…” She started, but realized she didn’t really know what to say. He was being extremely nice to her, and seemed to understand her needs, based on his own experiences apparently. But she didn’t understand why he was doing this, did he simply feel sorry for her?

  “I trusted the wrong person.” He started suddenly, ending her thoughts.

  “A long time ago, I trusted someone I shouldn’t have and it ended…badly. I know you saw the aftermath of it, the visible scars, anyway.” He took a breath and ran a hand through his hair, mussing it up.

  “When you first came to work with us, I knew right away that I’d…”

  “Hate me?” Leanna offered without thinking, then cringed when she realized what she’d said.

  His eyes snapped to hers. “I don’t hate you. I need you to know that. I don’t hate you, never have.”

  She frowned at him. “It…really seemed like you did. Well, at least until…err…” She tried to hold the blush back but failed miserably, then attempted to cover it by grabbing the tea again and bringing it to her lips.

  To her surprise, his cheeks tinged pink as well.

   “When I first met you…no, no, when I first saw you, you were talking with Ellie and Lorraine, I don’t remember what it was about, but you smiled…this big bright smile. You looked so happy and…genuine. I knew right there if I let myself get close to you…” He trailed off, clearing his throat in embarrassment.


  “Anyway, I couldn’t risk it. I couldn’t take the chance that I’d want to trust someone again. So I just thought I’d keep my distance. But you never gave up, not really. When you started calling me Todd though… I hated it, it meant I was successfully pushing you away and I realized I didn’t want that at all.”

  Leanna stared at him over her cup, his words tumbling around in her head as she tried to digest them. He was staring down at the table in front of him and chanced a glance up at her, before ruffling his hair with his hands.


  Damnit Todd, stop looking so sexy.

  “I…uh…I…” She trailed off and brought the cup down to her lap. “That’s…really not what I was expecting.” She finished off lamely.

  Jason gave a shrug of his shoulders and a small grin showed off some teeth.

  “Yeah well, I wasn’t expecting to ever tell you this either to be honest. But then I heard you were leaving…”

  “…Right….”

  “Is it because of…” He motioned between the two of them with his hand. Leanna was startled he would think that. But if he thought that she felt he hated her then it could make sense right? Who’d want to keep working with someone who hates them?

  “No!…No, definitely not. Actually it’s been on my mind for a while.” She sighed and slouched back into the love seat, contemplating her words. Jason sat patiently, waiting for her to continue.

  “I first came here to, well, escape my old life I guess. I was stuck in an office job that brought me no joy and…a relationship that I didn’t feel alive in; waking up everyday felt like waking up every day to die just a little bit, you know? I could feel myself just starting to wither away slowly. I wanted to just stay in bed and sleep the days away to avoid living through them, and then when night came I couldn’t sleep because all I could think about would be the next day. One day I was out on the bus on the way home from work and saw this flower shop that was decorated like a cottage, and it just clicked that I wasn’t happy and would never be happy where I was. So I looked around for a small town I could find a job in that I’d actually enjoy, and jumped ship.”

  “And did you find it? Happiness?”

  She let out a breath. And smiled. It was a sad smile and Jason’s jaw twitched at the sight.

  “Yeah.” She said softly.

  “Then why are you leaving?” He asked a little more roughly than he meant.

  Now it was her turn to shrug.

  “I hate to say this but I think my parents convinced me… they made me feel…alone out here. I have friends at the nursery but everyone close to me is so far away and I hadn’t met anyone new since moving here…it’s really stupid the more I think of it but I already put in my notice and there are zero rentals around right now. Plus my parents want me back because they’re worried about me being so far away and by myself so I just…didn’t say no.”

  “So because you couldn’t find a boyfriend you’re leaving?” He asked dryly now, not impressed with her answer as he crossed his arms.

  “I didn’t say that!” She replied, face turning hot with embarrassment and anger.

  “I think that night at the wedding said it.” He said matter-of-factly.

  “Ugh, yeah well, sue me for being lonely okay? I’ve always known what I want and while I found MOST of it here, one of the bigger items on my list wasn’t happening. It can be a deal breaker for anyone.” She huffed at him.

  “You didn’t give it much time.”

  “I think I’ve met everyone in town Jason. Pretty much everyone here is married or underage.”

  He kept his gaze steady on her, arms still crossed, like a disappointed parent.

  She quirked her eyebrow.

  “What, was I supposed to wait for you?”

  He said nothing but his eyes flashed.

  “You just said you were never planning on telling me how you felt, and you acted like you couldn’t stand me in order to keep me away. Sorry for not considering you an option like, ever.” She couldn’t not roll her eyes at him.

  “What about now?”

  She stilled and faltered, words dying on her tongue.

  “W…what?”

  “I’m here now.”

  His eyes were determined as they looked at her, telling her he was being serious. She sat flustered and felt her cheeks warm.

  “Uh, b-but…I already…Uhm…I…” Her fingers fidgeted as she began to pick at imaginary hangnails, willing herself not to have another anxiety attack. Why was Jason putting this on her now of all times?

  He noticed her movements and stood up, moving to sit beside her on the small love seat. He took her trembling hands in his large warms ones so gently she calmed down instantly.

  “Why are you putting this on me now?” She whispered.

  “I’m here now.” He repeated softly, urging her to look up into his beautiful eyes.

  “And I won’t be going anywhere.”

  “I…already cancelled my lease, they already have another renter!” She replied dumbly.

  “We’ll find you something else.”

  “And I already gave my two weeks at work.” She could feel tears starting, suddenly overwhelmed with the way he was looking at her.

  “Good thing I’m co-owner with Lorraine then. I’ll have some sway in bringing you back on.” He let a small smile slip onto his face. Leanna blinked at him before a frown fell over hers, all tears vanishing.

  “You what!?” She said indignantly, huffing at him as he held her hands in place so she couldn’t swat at him.

  “God you’re such a bastard - why does no one know this?”

  He chuckled at her.

  “I’m generally a silent partner. But for you, I’ll speak up.”

  Leanna felt frustration as his words urged her to melt again. Damn this man, he was too good. Riling her up, being sweet, looking at her like that.

  They sat quietly as she mulled over everything they had just discussed, and the events of the other night. It wouldn’t be the end of the world to just…change her mind and stay right? She could hang out at the bed and breakfast for a while until something came along, or maybe even look into buying something outside the town, there was that cute little house not far from here that had a for sale sign…

  “Leanna.” He said quietly, bringing a hand to her face so she had no choice but to look at him.

  “Please stay. I’ll figure everything out for you if you want, just…please…stay.” He sounded…odd. His voice was underplayed with something she didn’t like. Was it desperation? Sadness? She didn’t like it one bit, being the cause of this strong, usually stoic man looking so despondent.

  It also may have made her feel a little, tiny bit important.

  He truly did care about her.

  How can I say no to that, Todd? She nodded into his hand.

  “Really?” His face lit up as a smile graced that perfect mouth of his. A real, happiness filled smile. Leanna was pretty sure it was the first one she had ever actually seen on him. She couldn’t help but return it.

  “Yeah - yes. Yes, I’ll stay. But you better help m-mmph!” He cut her off as he brought his lips down on her own, swallowing her demands. She made a mental note to berate him later for once again cutting her off with a kiss, before giving in to the feel of him against her.

  His hand on her cheek slipped into her hair and pulled her in closer, the other moving to her back and pressing firmly. She looped her now free hands up around his neck, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck before digging into it fully. He groaned into her mouth as her fingers moved to scratch at his scalp and she took the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

  “H-hold on.” He pulled back from her lips but rested his forehead to hers, panting slightly. Pride swelled in her chest at the sight of him.

  “I’m going to fuck you silly,” He kissed her nose “…later. Right now, I just want to hold you.”

  And the pride was gone, instantly replaced with a strange new warmth that made her suddenly want to cry again. Her fingers tightened in his hair.

  “You’ve had a rough day, let me hold you.”

  “O…okay.” She said quietly.

  Jason shifted the two of them so she was snuggled up against his side, tucked under his heavy, muscular arm like a warm weighted blanket over her shoulder. He let his face fall against her head, breathing in her scent mixed with summer rain, letting himself relax into the seat as they continued watching the still on-going storm in silence.

  “I could really fall in love with you, Todd.” Leanna murmured.

  Jason’s jaw tightened at the sound of his last name, but decided in this context, he didn’t mind so much.

  Leanna wrapped her free arm around his middle, hugging him to her closely as she nodded off into a nap and Jason placed a kiss to her head before letting his own eyes fall closed.

  “I already have.” He replied.

[dreamilyunaffectedwreck]

What is Happening? Chapter 2

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Reader works in a floral nursery with Jason, who seemingly hates her for some reason. During a wedding the nursery is holding, things happen that lead to more questions than answers for the reader.*Smut

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The morning sun was on Leanna’s face as it slipped through the sheer white curtains. As she groaned into her pillow and tried to hold on to her sleep she could hear the birds outside chirping away happily. It was unusually quiet for a Sunday morning, normally she could hear the bustle of townsfolk getting an early start to the day before Church or brunch by attending the weekly farmer’s market that took place  in the streets below her apartment. That’s when it came back to her. Lifting her head up from the pillow, with drool coming from the corner of her mouth and her hair matted to the side of her face, she looked around the room.

It was quaint, and somehow comforting, but it definitely wasn’t hers.

Okay, okay, so it wasn’t a dream…

She sat up and brushed the hair back from her face and pulled the sheets up over her chest as she realized she was still naked, but her modesty was not currently required.

Jason wasn’t there. She strained her ears and thought she heard what may have been water running. Debating on taking a peak to see if it was him, or just sneaking out of the house entirely to avoid any awkwardness, she inched towards the edge of the bed before hearing a door open. Scrambling back into the centre of the mattress and tugging the covers up over herself she watched as Jason walked in quietly, a white towel around his waist and his black hair wet and dripping down his body.

Don’t look, don’t look, don’t loo—ah damnit. Who in their right minds could help themselves when that muscled body was right before them literally coming straight from what she assumed was a shower.

He raised that eyebrow of his but turned to his dresser to pull out some clothes.

Leanna tried not to openly gasp as she saw the large scar on his back, it looked like it may have been a burn but she couldn’t tell for sure. It ran from his left shoulder across his back to his right hip. She hadn’t noticed anything the previous night and forced her eyes to look away before he turned back around to face her.

“I thought you might end up sleeping all day.” He said, eyeing her as she hid under the covers.

She glanced at a clock he had on his nightstand and pursed her lips.

“It’s only 830!” She grumbled at him. “Why, how long have you been up?”

“Since 5.” He pulled the towel from his waist and smirked as her eyes grew into saucers and red rushed to her cheeks. She made a squeaky sound as she hid her face in her hands that still clutched the grey fabric.

He rubbed at his wet hair and just stared her down for a few more seconds before finally pulling on some pants and a shirt. She sighed in relief but couldn’t calm her burning face. “You an early riser or was I just taking up too much space?” Leanna asked, letting her mood fall at the thought he was trying to escape her presence when he woke up and saw her there beside him.

“Went for a run, got my bike. I made some coffee if you want any.” And he walked out of his room but left the door wide open.

Leanna scrambled out of the bed as quickly as possible and pulled on her underwear before Jason came back in, causing her to shriek and cover herself.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to borrow some clothes.”

She held her bra in front of her chest.

“Oh, that’s nice of you…” She trailed off, not moving.

He crossed his arms over his chest.

“I doubt you want to wear that home.” He nodded towards the apricot dress he had brought in from where it had been laying on the floor in front of his blue front door for the night. She inched closer to it and realized why he was saying that. It looked like the straps had been broken clean in two. Apparently Jason had been a little rough when he had pulled it off of her, though Leanna had to admit the dress had been kind of flimsy.

She nodded at him and he pushing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt towards her before leaving the room again. She was going to absolutely swim in these clothes but she really didn’t want to have to show her face at her apartment building in a broken dress from the night before. Her shoes with the new outfit would probably elicit some questions regardless though - strappy heels and men’s clothes were not a common fashion statement ‘round these parts. As she tugged the red shirt over her head she realized something else Jason had mentioned.

“Hey…” She followed after him to his small white kitchen. It had a rustic little island and looked out over his garden that was currently bathed in the happy morning light.

“You said you got your bike? Did you run all the way back to the nursery? I could have driven you on my way home!” She didn’t give him much time to respond between her questions so he just sipped at his coffee quietly. He just shrugged.

“It’s fine.”

“But…it’s so far!” She spluttered in response.

“Like I said, I went for a run.”

“I…ok.” It made sense, he was in shape. Running would probably be one of those things he did on the regular. In fact, it was probably like breathing for someone THAT fit.

“Still…I feel bad. You wouldn’t have had to go back for it if it weren’t for…” She looked off, not wanting to meet his eyes that bore into her.

“Anyway, I should get going. Get out of your hair and whatnot. Let you enjoy your weekend.” She was rambling, again, so she coughed to stop herself.

“I’ll uh, get these washed and give them back to you on Tuesday.”

“S’no rush.” He replied.

She wasn’t sure if he meant for the clothes, or for her to leave, but the awkwardness that her anxiety was creating was stifling her and she needed to go process everything by herself. Besides, having that handsome man stare her down after last night was just NOT a good idea. She could only imagine how she looked at the moment anyway, which made her feel way too exposed.

Plastering a forced cheery smile on her face she shook her head.

“No, no, I gotta go. I’ll get these back asap. Uhm…thanks, for letting me stay the night.”

Those eyes of his, surrounded by his dark lashes, flashed green this time, but he said nothing, just nodded and walked her to the front door. She scuttled out like the air inside was burning her, rushing to her car and slamming the door shut.

Finally, she could breathe. She gulped in some air before starting her car and reversing out, noticing his bike glinting in the sun in front of his little one car garage. He hadn’t lied about that then. It brought some comfort to her to think that maybe he had just woken up early to exercise, and not to slip away while she was still asleep in his bed because he was ashamed or annoyed that she was there. *** The rest of her Sunday and all of Monday had involved a lot of thinking over and over every detail of the wedding night and the morning after. It had been difficult to not think about as memories played back in her mind like movie clips on the TV. Even as she got her groceries and cleaned her small apartment her mind was constantly drifting elsewhere, blushing at the more intense memories and drowning in the ‘what ifs’. At one point she was so unfocused she walked straight into the pasta aisle at the grocery store. Thankfully no one saw.

Now she sat at her tiny dinner table with a hot cup of tea in hand, awaiting the day to start so she could go to work and decide how she felt about Jason. She figured she’d know when she saw him if it had been the right decision to go home with him. I mean..it was kind of amazing. She puttered over the steam that curled into her face, pouting at the still swirling thoughts.

But maybe it was just a hate fuck. Maybe now I’m not only someone he doesn’t like, but a desperate slut on top of it. She honestly could’ve started pulling her hair out with the frustration that was coming along with the constant barrage of opinions her brain was force feeding her. It didn’t help that she and Jason had never exchanged numbers so that she could, maybe, have found the courage to text him about their…activities together. And now not only did she not know what he thought of her anymore, but she didn’t know her own feelings either. She had thought that after months of his (what she assumed was) clear disdain for her, she had decided to just treat him like a stranger most of the time. Now she had to question if there was more.

I mean…of course there’s more, you fucked him!

Well he’s hot, but it doesn’t mean I like him.

You wouldn’t sleep with someone you didn’t like.

I could though!

Nah, you need feelings for that.

Yeah but Jason might not - I mean look at him, he definitely gets what he wants.

That’s true, could have been a hate fuck for him and a feelings fuck for you!

Shut up! This is not helpful.

Does it even matter anyway since -

Her phone binged, startling her from her internal argument. It was a text from Lorraine asking her to come to work early if possible. She gathered her lunch and placed it in her bag, dumping her tea in a mug to bring with her, and was out the door without a second thought. It was time to just go and ask him about it rather than continue mulling over everything until she actually went nuts. Even if the evening had meant nothing, she needed to know so she could just release it into the past and not look back.

*** Lorraine had just wanted to chat with Leanna and it had ended up lasting longer than either expected, with Lorraine having brought some homemade cookies and Y/V still sipping on her tea. She had been hoping to catch Jason in the employee lounge area but his shift had started 15 minutes earlier and there was no doubt he was already out working away. She didn’t want to bother him during, especially with what essentially boiled down to the dreaded do you like me? Circle Y for yes or N for no. It felt very highschool.

After she had changed and exchanged morning pleasantries with Ellie and another worker, Diego, she was in a good mood and was bouncing slightly as she worked her way to the perennial section of the green house. On her way she noticed Jason step out from a row and walk towards her. She suddenly got nervous but put on a shaky smile and said hello, surprised when he simply passed by her. She blinked in confusion as she stood in place, turning when she heard him stop behind her. He was still facing the way he was walking but his head tilted to his right so his chin hit his shoulder.

“Guess this weekend was a just a last hurrah for you, huh?” The words came out like sharp knives and cut through her, slicing her cold.

“Wh…what?” She stammered after him. He just stood there, his hulking body looking more intimidating than ever with the ice in his tone and the side eye he had given her. He shook his head once and continued on his path, away from her.

Leanna was standing there, mouth agape and thoroughly confused until it hit her like a ton of soil.

Oh no…oh no no no. I told Lorraine not to say anything yet! She rushed back to Lorraine’s office but she wasn’t there anymore. Standing in front of the door she groaned and rubbed at her face with her hands.

She had put in her two weeks last Friday, the day before the wedding. She had asked Lorraine specifically not to mention it as she wanted to tell people herself. Her coworkers knew she had come from a different city and job and had heard from her first hand how it had not been for her and she was taking time away to figure things out. She had gushed over the last few months how much the nursery and new town felt so much more like home for her than her previous life, how she was thinking she wanted to stay there for good.

She owed them an explanation for her change of mind, especially Ellie and well…now apparently Jason was pissed about it too? When is he not pissed? She thought bitterly, but bit her tongue to stop the thought. From what he had said and the way he had said it, maybe he had cared more about her than she had thought? Or maybe he just felt used and didn’t like that very much. Even so, she needed to talk to him, to clear it up so she could leave with a clear conscience and heart. She made to go after him but was stopped by Ellie, who came rushing towards her with a strained look on her face.

“You’re leaving!?” She cried out, pulling Leanna into her arms. Apparently she would be talking with Ellie first. Leanna half laughed at her friend’s dramatics.

“Yeah…”

Ellie pulled back but kept her hands on Leanna’s shoulders, searching her face.

“But why? I thought you wanted to stay? Is it because of…” She looked around briefly and lowered her voice, “of what happened on Saturday?”

Leanna’s face instantly burned red. “Oh my god, does everyone know?!”

Ellie smirked at her.

“That kiss was kind of hard not to notice girl. Plus we all saw you two kick it pretty quickly, together.”

“Oh well that’s just fucking great.” Leanna snarked back.

The raven haired brunette let her face relax into a genuine smile and offered her friend a pat on the shoulder.

“We’ve all been waiting for it for a while.” She said, amused.

Leanna rolled her eyes. “I told you-“

“Yeah yeah save it for the shrink. We need to talk about why you’re leaving and how I can convince you to stay.” And she was pulled off to a quiet work station where the two of them spent most of the day organizing new pots and decor shipments, deciding on a layout for the new product that would entice all the shoppers. By the time they had finished, Leanna had to head out to the area the wedding had been to help Lorraine gear up for the next event that  coming weekend, but they were cut short when a summer storm came from the west and started dowsing them in a shower of rain.

“Jesus, this is ridiculous!” Lorraine yelled, rushing under a larger tree for some respite from the wet. “I think we’ll just call it for today! Go get dry and head home!” Leanna didn’t need to be told twice, though she didn’t mind the rain much. She was already soaked so she took her time walking to the locker rooms, admiring the lightning that flashed across the sky in spider-web formations, counting down to the thunder that rumbled low before exploding in her ears.

The nursery looked pretty deserted, the employees having sought shelter and any patrons presumably gone now. Her phone had forecast that the unexpected storm would last a while. She assumed her chance to talk with Jason today was not going to happen, so she resigned herself to getting dry before heading out. The universe didn’t much like that route though, as Leanna found a very wet Jason clad in his white t-shirt and jeans that stuck to him like a second skin in the employee changing rooms. He turned to see who had come in and the first thing she noticed were his nipples poking through the fabric.

Is this what it’s like to be a guy? She mused internally as she couldn’t help but gawk at his chest. Of course she had seem him naked a few days ago, but seeing him now with his black hair drenched and falling into his eyes, his clothes clinging to him…

She cleared her throat.

“It’s uh…bad out there.” She mumbled at him, not having moved from the entrance when she realized he was there.

He said nothing but his eyes blazed at her, as if he was incensed she dared talk to him at all.

“Jason…” She started quietly. “I wanted to talk to you…about what happened.” She couldn’t meet his gaze, fidgeting under his scrutiny.

“Don’t bother.” He snapped, turning his back to her and rummaging through his locker for some dry clothes.

“No, please. I just…I wanted to say that..it wasn’t a ‘last hurrah’ for me, if that’s what you were thinking. It…didn’t have anything to do with me leaving, except maybe giving me some courage to do anything at all. I-“ She cut herself off and sighed in frustration.

“I don’t know how to talk to you Jason. From the start I’ve known you hate me. I don’t know why but you made it pretty clear. Even so, it wasn’t my intention to make you feel used and I’m sorry if that’s what it felt like. I just…well, I wanted to thank you.” she blushed at her own words, feeling childish somehow.

“I know that sounds stupid, but it was a really nice night, if not maybe a bit awkward on my end. Anyway, yeah that’s it. Please don’t hate me anymore than you do.” She gave a pathetic little laugh and then shrugged. Not knowing what else to say she just went to grab her bag, forgetting about her change of clothes, and left quietly.

Jason hadn’t turned to look at her during her little speech, and had become lost in his own thoughts at her words.

“I don’t-“ His head snapped towards the door as he heard it shut. “Hate you…” but she was already gone.

[dreamilyunaffectedwreck]

What is happening?  Chapter 1

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Reader works in a floral nursery with Jason, who seemingly hates her for some reason. During a wedding the nursery is holding, things happen that lead to more questions than answers for the reader.*Smut

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She had been working at the nursery now for about six months; it had been a wonderful transition from her old desk job to working with plants of all kinds. Beauty in its many forms constantly surrounded her and her coworkers were wonderful. Mostly.

There was a wedding coming up that they were currently preparing for; making sure the long rectangular arbor was beautiful adorned with the currently blooming and fragrant white roses, soft white lights strewn in-between the prickly vines as though they were part of the plant. The gold chandelier that hung from the middle was double checked for working lights; the large old farmhouse table below carefully being set with tapered white candles, blush pink rose petals strewn about, golden plates and utensils and Champagne glasses sparkling in the warm June sun.   It was no wonder the nursery was so well-liked as a wedding venue. They had had an event every weekend since mid-may, most being weddings, and each and every one of them was unique and beautiful.  The aisle was set in a different part of the nursery and had been the first to be finished as it required the most work, getting the right coloured flowers and arches in place for the bride and groom to announce and share their love for one another. The area adjacent to the dinner setting had already been set up as a dance floor, the DJ adjusting his speakers and making sure everything was working as it should while her coworkers worked around her frame, moving vases of flowers, more string lights and potted trees.   Well let’s be real, only one person was really moving the heavy stuff around and she was focusing all of her attention on the immaculate table rather than on him. All too soon though she was done as the owner of the nursery and head florist, Lorraine, came by and told her to go and get ready for the wedding.

“It looks perfect, you really have an eye for this.” She enthused, looking over the table in awe.

Y/N flushed under the compliment, “There’s really not much to be done, the nursery is already beautiful as is.” She stated, but Lorraine gave her a look.

“But thank you.” Y/N added, receiving a happy nod from her boss.

“Alright everyone, the caterers are here and almost ready to go - everyone working the wedding tonight please head out to get changed, everyone else, we need to finish up in the next hour or we’ll have a very unhappy bride!” She sang, shooing Y/N and him from their places and off to the exit.

Y/N walked quietly a few feet behind him as they made their way to the employees’ quarters - always having planned to host weddings at her nursery, Lorraine had thought ahead to provide showers and change rooms for the workers to get wedding-appropriate without having to go home first. Plus some shifts just called for a shower and a change of clothes before getting into the car and dragging soil and mud and water all over everything. “You did a really great job back there.” She half mumbled to his back, not finding the confidence to properly give her compliment on his work to him. She wasn’t sure he had even heard her until he slowed his pace just a bit and glanced back.

“Thanks.” He said gruffly, before heading into the men’s change rooms to get ready.

Y/N sighed at herself. She had no idea how to talk to him. 

When she first started working there, she had been shown around by Lorraine and introduced to everyone with whom she was going work. They had all given her beaming smiles and seemed genuinely happy to have a new coworker and friend in their midst. Then she had met him, Todd. Jason. 

He had looked up from digging large piles of dirt into a huge planter, likely for Lorraine’s sake rather than Y/N’s, but offered no smile or hello, just a curt nod before going back to work.

“Don’t worry about him,” Lorraine said, waving off his attitude. “He’s just like that, quiet, but a hard worker and knows the job well.”

But he wasn’t ‘just like that’; she had noticed him more willing to engage with the others, talking, smiling, sometimes even laughing, but every time she would ask him something or just try to be nice, he stared at her with a hard look and offered few words in return. He was never mean, always helped her out with work if she required it, but his attitude towards her was unfathomable. She had started calling him Todd after that one afternoon she had had to yell it to him before he answered her, and when she noticed it annoyed him, his jaw clenching every time she used the name rather than Jason-it was nice to get any kind of reaction out of him at this point - she continued doing it. He never said anything, but his eyes would flash, especially if she said it curtly, which had become more and more common over the months.

Why should she care though? She had tried to be nice to him, had engaged him the same way she had engaged the others, all who had welcomed her warmly and were now her friends, but he had just put up this weird ice cold wall with her. Now he was just someone she, to be honest, tended to be a snarky brat with. She still tried sometimes, like just now, but it never got her anywhere and she always ended up berating herself for it afterwards.

“You’re just gonna keep being disappointed. No use in bothering.” She muttered to herself as she put on the apricot coloured dress. It was nothing special, it wore a bit like a slip with thin straps and ended mid thigh, it also wasn’t a colour she’d normally wear but the bride had requested it when Y/N asked her what she’d be comfortable with her wearing. It matched the wedding party colours.

“Oh, but I’m not in your wedding! I don’t want to take away from the bridesmaids!” She had argued, but the bride just smiled and said she wanted them to feel like they were a part of it. So, now Y/N stood in front of the mirrors fiddling with the dress to make sure no sign of her strapless bra or panties was to be seen through the fabric, adjusted her simply styled hair and made sure her light makeup was not smudged. The last thing to go on was the strappy shoes she’d managed to find, which were not six-inch stilettos but still had enough of a heel for her to not be totally comfortable walking in them, especially since she was technically still working. They did make her legs looks pretty good though. When she was satisfied that the bride would be happy, she exited the change rooms and entered the common employee area, finding her friend and co-worker for the night Ellie, a black-haired beauty with a lot of sass.

“Yo, you ready?” Ellie asked from the couch, not caring that her silk dress was getting wrinkled beneath her.

“Yeah. It should be starting soon. I want to make sure everything’s good to go.”

Ellie rolled her eyes but chuckled, “You are too much of a perfectionist. You know the drill by now, we’re just here to close up shop once everything is done, and get some free food and liquor out of it.” She rolled off the sofa and stood up, towering over Y/N by a good foot, and grabbed her by the arm to drag her out.

“By the way, you look hoooot.” Ellie said in a sing-song voice as they neared the decorated aisle, loud enough for Jason to hear as he happened to be moving a few things about for a last minute touch up.

He stopped what he was doing for a moment to glance a the two women and Y/N only saw that hard stare again, but now he had the audacity to look somewhat displeased. 

What he hell? Y/N thought, but was whisked off again by Lorraine requesting some help with the flower arrangements on the table.

Soon enough the small wedding began with the guests seated on either side of the aisle, surrounded by fragrant white and pink flowers and trees illuminated by the waning red sun. The quiet string quartet played a beautifully soft melody as the bride walked the aisle with her parents in a figure hugging lace dress, the groom looked ecstatic and totally in love. 

Everything was going off without a hitch.

*** The dinner had ended, and the workers had been lucky enough to have been fed the same food as the guests. It had been delicious and really nice to sit at a candle-lit table with everyone in the summer night, enjoying each others’ company, talking and laughing until the party portion of the evening began.

Once the food had been cleared and the cake cut, the DJ started his work and had the dance floor going. Most of the nursery workers: Ellie, Thomas and even Lorraine, were mingling with the wedding guests while Y/N was puttering around, fixing up decor and watching from the sidelines.

Jason was standing off to the side as well, arms crossed and drink in hand as he watched everything with a blank face. Y/N would be lying if she didn’t say he looked handsome as all hell in his suit, with his jacket off and sleeves pushed up his forearms, and his black hair messily styled, but his stand-offish demeanour was doing him no favours. He could have easily found a partner for the evening and had a good time - more than one girl (and guy) had given him that longing look to no avail. He just looked like someone who had been forced to be there - which was silly as all the wedding events were worked by choice.

Y/N had just finished tying up some over-hanging roses to a trellis when a young man with strawberry blonde hair approached her.

“Hi.” He said cheerfully, holding a glass of champagne in his hand.

“Hello.” Y/N replied, offering a smile. “I hope you and the other guests are having a good time.”

“Oh, it’s been a really wonderful evening. You did a lovely job, it’s like a dream out here.”

Y/N chuckled. “I didn’t do much, the nursery is always beautiful, but thank you. Everyone works really hard on every event we host.”

The man held his hand out to her, “I’m Evan, brother of the bride.”

“Y/N, nice to meet you. And congratulations." Thus began a long conversation between Evan and Y/N. It had her suddenly wondering if maybe this could lead to something - she had become lonely the last few months, not having a boyfriend, someone to hold hands with and kiss and maybe-

“Evan! There you are! Come on, your sister wants to get some more pictures. Oh hello!” A tan man with dark eyes and hair had come up to the pair, grabbing Evan’s arm in a very friendly way.

“Ahh, Sam, this is Y/N. She was one of the lead decorators for tonight.”

Sam’s face lit into a bigger smile. “Oh wow, you did an amazing job! The place is like a dream!”

Y/N had to laugh at that, realizing these two were definitely a couple, and thanked them both for their compliments, though once again emphasizing everyone had a part to play. As they left to do the bride’s bidding, Y/N let out a sigh she didn’t know she was holding and turned to head back to her dinner table, spotting a bottle of open rosé and pouring herself a very full glass. 

She sipped at it and was surprised by the sweetness, realizing immediately that this could be a very dangerous drink for her as wine went to her head rather quickly. Oh well. She thought. Everyone else is having their fun, I may as well too. And she chugged the glass before pouring another. 

It hadn’t been her plan to get tipsy tonight, in fact she had expected to be ever the professional, but something in her had been crushed by the male attention she thought she had been getting from Evan only for it to end up being nothing more than friendliness. She felt stupid for feeling so desperate over literally nothing, but the self-doubting spiral had started and she couldn’t help thinking over her lack of a love life since she had moved out to this town. She had been well-loved in the nursery, aside from Jason’s weird attitude, but outside of work she was alone. Going home was a chore some days and she’d rather have just continued working into her next shift rather than sit in a coffee shop or a bar and wonder if anyone would ever want her again.

Another glass was down before she knew it and she reached for the bottle a third time, but now she caught Jason’s disapproving glare through her more dizzy vision. She gave him a sly grin as she topped her glass again and held it up to him in a mock cheers.

Fuck you, you beautiful bastard. 

What she wouldn’t give to be wanted by him. Him and his tall, muscular frame, his dark hair and the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. Were they blue? Were they green? They seemed to change with his mood. And it would have been enough, if he had just been nice to her like he was to everyone else. But no, he had to be a jerk for some reason and that made it hurt even more. Made her feel ugly and beneath him somehow, like she wasn’t worth his time for him to even be a decent human being to her like he was with the others. The third glass was down and she was now swimming in that drunken haze but knew enough to stop before she got sick. The party was winding down now as guests had started leaving, with the caterers cleaning up quietly as slow melodic songs played through the air. She had a sloppy smile on her face as she pushed her chair back from the table with the intention to go sway to the music and got up in what she assumed was a normal manner, but a large warm hand found her elbow and it was apparently keeping her steady. She brought her hooded eyes up, and up, to a tall figure whose face she didn’t quite recognize at first with the lighting glowing behind his head, masking his features in shadow.

“Todd?” She questioned with a bit of a slur.

His mouth dropped a bit in a frown.

“You drank too much.” He stated.

She waved him off with her free hand.

“I’m fiiiine, just had enough to feel good is all.”

“What happened?” He asked, still holding her arm, though it was gentle.

“Huh?” She blinked up at him.

“You’ve never had a sip of alcohol at any of the other events we’ve had, what happened tonight that had you chugging it back like a Beverly Hills trophy wife?”

Y/N laughed at the image. “Oh Toddy-“ she began, not seeing how his jaw clenched at the use of his last name again. “It just tasted extra yummy.” She quipped. He sighed and looked around, finding the two men she had been talking with earlier now dancing in an intimate embrace. It clicked in his brain and he looked back down at her.

“Did getting rejected by a gay man hurt so much you needed to get drunk?” He said it in a mocking manner, causing her smile to fall and making her tug her arm free of his grasp.

“It made me realize I’m lonely.” She was looking past him, at the ground, as she laid bare her confession to the one person she’d probably not want to be telling this too if she’d had a clearer head. But she couldn’t stop the truth as it slipped past her lips. What would be the point in lying anyway? He obviously knew it, she may as well just let it out.

“And that…” Instinctually she brought a hand up to his chest and laid her palm flat against his crips white dress shirt, enjoying the contact as his warmth radiating through the fabric against her skin. “I want to be wanted.”

She looked back up at him now with big doe eyes and brought her bottom lip between her teeth. 

“Will you give me what I want, Todd?” She asked it so sincerely and waited a beat for his response, figuring fuck it, he’s hot. But he didn’t say anything so she resorted to snorting and giving his chest a smack before stepping back from him.

“Could you imagine? You and me-hey, what are you doing?”

She stumbled a bit as he followed her steps backwards, grasping her waist with both of his hands and pulling her close. She instinctively held on to his strong arms, trying to keep some distance out of sheer surprise.

His face held that same insufferable look like he was pissed at her existence, but his eyes were dark, darker than she had ever seen them. He looked dangerous; feral. Her skin prickled with goosebumps and she shivered, prompting him to grip her tighter and let his thumbs circle over her hip bones, watching as her eyes closed in what may have been enjoyment, or fear.

“Todd…” “Is this what you want?”

There wasn’t anything in his voice to suggest he was teasing her, but maybe the wine was just messing her up. She looked back into his now darkened blue eyes and couldn’t help the zap of excitement that worked its way up inside of her. He looked so damn hot, up close and personal like this. She had never got a chance to really look at his face though she cursed her alcohol buzz for making her a little too dizzy to completely focus. On the other hand, this would probably be the one and only chance to do anything with the help of the liquid courage burning through her veins and Jason literally holding her in his arms. Even if it ended up being nothing more than a hate fuck, would she really want to say no now that she had the opportunity?

“Yes.” His eyes narrowed as they looked back and forth between hers.

“Are you sure?”

She sighed in annoyance now. “Are you just fucking with me Todd?”

Her eyes tracked his as they darted to the table beside her, taking in the empty wine glass and bottle. “I need to know you’re sure you want this.” He said quietly.

“Christ Todd, I may have had some wine but I’m not drunk! I’m just…liberated.” She explained, catching on to his need to not feel like he was taking advantage. Okay, so he’s not a total dickhead. Good to know. There was a moment where they just stared each other down as the music continued playing in the background and the lights twinkled around them and the flowers emanated their lusciously sweet scents. It could have been romantic if it had been any other guy.

“You have to call me by my first name.”

She blinked.

“What?”

His nostrils flared as he repeated himself.

“Call me Jason.”

Another moment as they stared before she rolled her eyes at him in a somewhat playful but exasperated manner.

“Yeah okay T-“ She had to bite her lip to stop from saying his last name out of habit and correct herself before continuing. 

“Jason.” She said softly. 

“I want this, Jas-mmph!”

He had pulled her in and brought his surprisingly soft, plump lips down on hers before she could manage to finish speaking, his left hand moving up to cradle her head as his right went to her lower back and pressed her as close as he physically could. Y/N brought her hands up to his shoulders and clung to him as he literally left her breathless. When he pulled back so she could catch her breath he muttered something about his place and getting her keys as he didn’t trust her on the back of his bike at the moment. She wanted to roll her eyes but didn’t have a chance as he whisked her off to her car, somehow placing his coat over her shoulders in the process and getting her buckled into the passenger seat before she felt like she had time to blink.

The ride to his home wasn’t long but it gave Y/N some time to process what was actually happening now. She was enveloped in his warmth, the jacket smelling of his nice cologne and hugging her bare arms nicely. Jason sat behind the wheel of her small car, not saying a word and staring at the road ahead, but he looked relatively relaxed. Was Y/N dreaming? This almost felt surreal, and it wasn’t the wine’s doing.

His need to get her consent, the jacket, driving her car for her safety…was this really the Jason who had seemed to hate her for some reason she didn’t understand the past six months? She tried to look at him without being too obvious, taking in the way he sat, one hand leisurely holding the wheel, his beautiful profile illuminated by the street lights. His hair was more messy now, falling into his eyes. She wondered if that had been her doing during their surprisingly electrifying kiss. 

Oh lord, just thinking about that made her face heat up and her core tingle. She looked back out the windshield and noticed they were coming up to a quaint small house surrounded by farmland and what she could make out to be a beautiful little garden.

“I thought you lived in the city.” She said taking in the surroundings as he pulled up to the little yellow cottage; its white trim and front porch adding to its charm.

“Hn.” Was his only response, turning the car off and getting out before going to her side and almost pulling her from the car.

He stomped up the steps to his front door and had her inside and pressed up against it in seconds, once again doing all of this without allowing her head time to catch up on what was happening.

His thick thigh pushed between her legs, making her dress ride up. She could feel his erection against her hips as his hands are placed on either side of her head against the door. Y/N was startled by this; she didn’t know what was happening. Either Jason actually wanted her or he was a really good actor.

He brought his head down to hers and searched her eyes quickly before going in for another searing kiss, this time prodding her lips with his tongue and taking full advantage when they parted even slightly. She squeaked in surprise but he continued and brought his hands down to her revealed thighs before slowly, agonizingly slowly dragging them up over her hips, over her stomach and finally settling on her breasts where he cupped them almost harshly. As she arched her back towards him in response he ground his thigh against her core and swallowed her moans as his groping continued.

Holy fuck. He’s gonna kill me with amazing sex isn’t he? Jason suddenly gripped the hem of Y/N/s dress and pulled it up and over her head, leaving her in her seamless white bra and panties before him, panting and flushed. He raked his eyes over her body and proceeded to remove his own shirt. She watched mesmerized as his rippling muscles came into view, shyly placing her hands on his shoulders at first and gently caressing down his chest, over his very well-defined abs, down to his pants.

No, he was right to hate me. I have no business being with someone like this. The crippling doubt came rushing back and she hesitated, her fingers curling into her palms. As if he sensed it, he grabbed her wrists and somehow got her to his bed and caged her in beneath him, tackling her mouth with his, not letting her mind wander any further.

He undid her bra expertly and had his hands on her now bare chest again, groaning at the feel of her hard nipples under his palms. Y/N revelled in the sound, digging her fingers into his hair and scalp and tugging him forwards into a deeper kiss while trying to pull his pants down with her other hand. It wasn’t a very successful attempt and Jason smirked into her lips as she became frustrated, pulling back and undoing the pants himself and whipping them and his boxers off quickly. He reached for his nightstand and pulled out a condom while Y/N held herself up with her arms and watched, swallowing as he rolled it over his very large erection. He raised an eyebrow at her when he was done and her eyes were still trained on his dick, then proceeded to grab her by her ankles and pull her down towards him, dragging her underwear down one leg before rubbing himself along her very wet entrance. Pausing, he asked. “You still good?”

She looked into his lust blown eyes, dark and dangerous, and so gorgeous.

Licking her lips she replied, somewhat shyly. “Yes.”

And with that he slipped the tip inside, going slowly to let her adjust as she was so tight. Y/N closed her eyes in bliss as she felt every bit of pleasure and pain as he stretched her out in the best way. His hands were digging into her hips again as he bottomed out, his lips parted just slightly and a light flush starting to spread on his cheeks.

She put her hands up to his pecs and felt a slight tremble under her fingers, dancing them along his smooth taught skin in awe, still not really comprehending that he was currently insider of her, looking like he was actually enjoying himself.

“Keep going.” She whispered to him and should not have been surprised when he began moving out of her and then back in, increasing his pace to a steady, wonderful rhythm, but her body was taken aback anyway, as she had never felt something quite like this before. Maybe hate fucks were just a special sort of amazing? She didn’t know, couldn’t know at this moment, couldn’t think at all when all she was focused on was the pleasure radiating through her body. 

His movements against her started bringing her closer to the edge, and she brought her hand down to where they were joined and worked to bring herself right to the last foot of the cliff, but was stopped as Jason grabbed her hand. She opened her eyes to look at him in confusion, watched as he replaced her hand with his right one while still holding her fingers in his left. He focused on her so intently she couldn’t look away as he brought her fingers to his mouth and sucked, hard.

The eroticism of his actions sent her over that edge and she was flying through a starburst of white hot pleasure, arching her back and shaking beneath him, a barely audible “Fuck, Jason.” leaving her as she climaxed. Evidently that was his own undoing as she felt him convulse above her and groan in his sexy deep voice. She wanted to see his face but her vision was spotty as she continued to ride that wonderful wave. Their movements against each other continued but slowed as they came down, back to reality, but with a feeling of fulfilling satisfaction.

As he softened inside of her, he pulled out and discarded the used condom in a bin beside the nightstand, then rolled over onto one side of the bed. Thinking that this was it, Y/N took a few happy breaths to compose herself before making to get up before a strong arm pulled her back by her waist.

“Stay.” Was all he said, bringing her up against his warm hard body and covering them with the grey sheets. Somehow, feeling him against her back with his arm holding her tightly in place and his breath in her hair felt more intimate than the sex they’d just shared.

She didn’t reply to him but made no move to escape, instead settling into a comfortable position and, with the help of the long busy day, the wine, and their most recent activities, she fell asleep quickly, not letting her mind work through anything too hard at the moment. If she did, she’d probably never be able to sleep again, using up all her mental faculties to try and figure out what in the all mighty fuck had just happened.

It was a good thing she didn’t notice the soft kiss placed to her bare shoulder, because that really would have screwed with her.