dreamergarden

[dreamergarden]

its random character idea rant to the void time (long?)

story sets up so it looks like a kid is supposed to get pulled into their rpg game and have adventure. then their mom/dad accidentally get dragged in instead because parental instincts of "WHAT the FUCk my child is NOT goin in there". they hve a vry bare idea of wht a meme is & they text n comment on the internet "In perfect spelling and punctuation.", they would struggle playing a first person game using the mouse + wasd at same time… etc u get it.

their body follows normal physics but theyre in rpg world now.

so its like

Why is everyone waiting, the other people are attacking us! *keeps attacking and acting on other people's turns, causing technical turn rpg chaos.*

*gettin decked out in super decorated decora kei-esque but make it fantasy medival to give them all the stat boosts; they arent restricted to "one item per body part".* 2b. however, they cant wear super heavy and huge plate or massive headpieces of metal because holy shit HEAVY.

Why are all these women so skimpily dressed while literally hiking/in war/fighting? Should I also be skimpily dressed? Does it offer some kind of "magic bonus"? (they dont know wtf the rules are of this world; they're figuring shit out by trail n error and have noticed some arbitrary stuff gives "bonuses" (like a ring can magically make you stronger when wearing it??))

tries to understand economy If this is a world where this so called… Experience points… are something that can make you so much stronger… is there a monopoly? should not a few have gotten very strong and restricted these areas with "enemies" and installed "experience point" capitalism? no?

*Tries to use actual feudal & medieval knowledge from actual school which doesnt work bc vast majority of rpg games arent actual-medieval-accurate at all*

"Wait, reiterate to me how much youre carrying right now. … how many swords…? In your BAG? … You ALL do that? Can I do that? *takes bag from a teammate is pulled down to earth with such force they faceplant into the ground*" 6b. "here you go adventurer, a fine sapphire armor for thee!" "… sapphire?" "yes!" "…. pure… sapphire?" "correct." "*feels the weight of it*… i… cannot wear this. here" gives to teammate 6c. "please, woman, i am not stronger than you. youve been carrying a pure iron greataxe the size of your body this entire trip like its nothing. yes, i am a man. yes, my arms are visibly bigger than yours. no, i dont know how it works either. no, please, dont give me the greataxe to show its "not actually that heavy", i've already been emasculated enough for today."

"i've had to walk multiple kilometres and beat up multiple large animals with a metal longsword today. My back isn't young enough for this. I have a desk job. I don't get a lot of cardio. Help." 7b. "oh fuck the caffiene headache is here too. shit. this'll be rough." 7c. after a few days, desperate voice, eyebags "i would give all my fake magic gold money here for a few grams of raffinated sugar"

"What you are saying is that if I do this inane favor for you, you will give your life to me in combat? … Alright."

dies for the first time "….my family. my wife. my child. what if i see them now? what if i never see them…? i'm sorry for failing you. maybe I was never cut out for adventuring after all… respawns in the inn. …… ah. hm." 9b. or maybe it'd be better if he notably DIDN't respawn! some god or magical reading artifact comments on how he cant respawn? idk im undecided rn bc 9. moment is funny. 9c. maybe like… he can respawn but it causes severe bodily consequences, like he respawns the first time and is bedridden for a week & vomits blood.

"Why do you all defer control to me in battle!? I'm an accountant! Can you not act if I dont give you an order!? … What if I order you to make your own orders, would that work?" 10b. "You… you do know more than three of you can be in battle with me at once, right?"

"You are a child. Why are you out battling. You should be climbing trees and eating soup and playing with your friends. …What do you mean you are a 2000 year old dragon. I. No." 11b. *acts instinctively protective and gentle with the minor-coded characters, including the 2000 year old dragon*

*equips sword for exp grinding. deadpan* "Time to commit some enviormental crime." 12b. "Why is everyone so relaxed about killing this much local fauna? I understand this is some version of a medival europe, but surely ecological stability is something you can understand with-- 50 or so slimes respawn from nowhere in a cave-- Oh."

sees a tiny display of weak, everyday magic for the first time HOLY SH---

"I suppose it is hard to be atheist/agnostic in a world where Gods regularly and observably give mortals godly missions and supernatural power. Time to convert, I suppose."

"How are you all so clean and hygienic? You guys don't have sinks. Not to mention all the combed, shiny hair. You all have hair better than mine and you haven’t invented conditioner." 15b. Why does this society have stones that can read your body and mind and print out statistical representations of your skills but not plumbing. 15c. I want shampoo again. 15d. I want sinks again. 15e. I want my family again.

"This town has a suspicious amount of merchants, royals, guards and adventurers. Where do you get food, the only thing your merchants sell are magic weapons and the only thing they buy are my dismembered monster parts."

oh fuck, theres slave trade and humanoid specie racism. right. that's. shit. fuck

Stop fawning over me, strangely colorful young women, I have a wife.

Those are some VIBRANT hair and eye colors, my God.

My "intelligence" stat being super high means nothing. Stop acting awed. I know what a proton is and electrical engineering, that does not help me fight a dragon. (20b. it later does help him fight a dragon)

*sees a slime for the first time immediate awe over its physiology approaches in curiousity and almost gets arm eaten*

Other character: "How did your first adventure go?"* parent; hollow voice "…. I hit an abnormally large spider. With a stick. Its corpse fizzled out of existance, leaving nothing but it's eyeball." Other character: "That's called loot! You can sell it at the shop over yonder." parent; "… If I am hit hard enough in the head, will my corpse fizzle out of existence? will only my eyeball be left?"

Shoulders through a small bush. Turns to rest of party. "Right, go on then… What do you mean you can't get through?"

(food items healing you) "Oh fuck. I'm-- ah, I'm bleeding out, great. Haah… ugh. *party member holds out croissant* I… what? Gets croissant shoved into mouth Mffph!? Wounds heal. …. *mouth full of croissant* Mffph!?!?"

"Why do all these hostile forest dwelling creatures carry nuggets of gold?"

"What the fuck? No, I am not killing that-- what did you call them-- goblin? That is a whole sapient being right there. No. Also, are we sure goblin is not a slur? It sounds like a slur. I am going to ask them what they call their species. Hold on." 26b. *makes friends with the goblins*

[someone else mentions this city with an academy] There's school here??? Holy shit, there's a school here! the next adventuring goal is trying to get to the school 27b. [in magic class] … Does "healing touch" stimulate production of stem cells? Oh, right, i suppose you wouldnt know that word… and… "frost magic"? where does the thermal energy GO afterward? Do the far surroundings get hotter in exchange? ….. what do you mean "FIREBALL"? 27c. staring at a the teacher demonstrating water magic … years of previous studies of physics have been rendered useless to me.

other thing:

i am struggling. because. if this is going to be a parody of rpg and isekai anime, one 1 hand having a male (aka. dad) protag would mean that he can portray a specific kind of parody of a male rpg isekai protag where he is confronted with the usual (fawning young women, power fantasy, slave trade) but acts like a decent man should, showing how unecessary the character trope is? and also make me happy because i enjoy the middle aged gentle/kind/pathetic wrinkly businessmen male characters :) BUT a real deconstruction would obvs benefit from female protag because its less of a "centrist please everyone subversive while still playing within the rules and in favour of the priveledged cop out" but also it wouldnt hit the same as a male bc a male parody c contrasts much more obviously with the bad isekai male lead trope. uuuugh. fine ill make do the thing i do where i cant decide something so i make multiple versions. the kids mom gets dragged in to an the same shit happens to her (like, fawning women, same personality, whatever) and its two universes now. yeah. and then the wife and husband can go on an adventure and eventually find eachother againa nd they both have half of the keyring for their house the house they bought together and they eventually ebcome super powerful "heroes" both of em and manage to find a way to interserct/open a portal between their universes and find eachtoher!!!!!!!!!!!

[dreamergarden]

fiction things i go nuts for:

character that without knowing it (or reader and/or other characters dont know it) is a [insert magic species built on some sort of purpose ex. guardian spirit/spirit guide/torture demon] that fulfills that purpose in the story. (eg. dante from coco)

is it hallucinations or is it real -> turns out to be real (eg. "happy" on netflix)

symbolic names

two characters extremely hostile toward eachother but under scrutiny of other character/s, therefore having to make really vague threats and not allowed to go all out.

magic or sci fi weather in fantasy/sci fi stories

silent and scary and stoneface competent person turns out to be very socially awkward and shy and thats why theyre quiet

time travel

[dreamergarden]

im gonna describe a character to you.

his writer is christian. he's pale, gaunt, dark-haired, and british. he's an egocentric scientist who created mishapen life by using the remains of people and strange science. the creation has the mind of a child and is commonly considered a pop culture monster. this character is broken by this creation and chased by his son.

his creation kills people. this character has lost a young boy with whom he had familial relation to his creation.

he has an old friend named henry. he has a familial relation with someone named elizabeth. he has something to do with the name "william". he's a bad dad.

his story ends with a cleansing fire, burning his creation/s.

okay. did i just describe william afton or victor frankenstein from mary shelley's book frankenstein

[dreamergarden]

our universe but like 30-50-70 years in the future. space travel invented. all the hyper-rich priviledged people are like "cya" and leave all the "undesirables" behind on apocalyptic earth.

The "undesirables" are like "okay byee" and make earth a nice place to live. economically they have to, since now like 50% of the population are neurodivergent or disabled and the workforce is desperately needed. also the rich people leaving crashes stocks and whatnot but it doesnt actually make a real world difference.

[dreamergarden]

funky pirate or mermaid (or both) prosthetic ideas:

pearl stuffed in eye. like a glass eye. literal pearl.

eye socket stuffed with a gold coin.

coral anything

anything obsidian/volcanic rock found on sea travels? "but as it's volcanic glass, its very fragile, and not suited for use as a prosthetic--" and then you get hit by the wooden baseball bat in my other hand

ice-power pirate with ice pegleg kept freezing by their ice power

pegleg of the bone of some dead fantasy creature. may give boons. like a dragon's bone giving luck, or a dragon's bone setting anything you step on ablaze?? or arm prosthetic.

swordfish saw arm

accidental eldritch contact -> tentacle leg/arm

semi related:

eyepatch hiding something much weirder than an eye

[dreamergarden]

spoopy traits to give to spoopy characters:

(horror i guess)

lower jaw that separates in two lengthwise, 1 canine tooth each. think snake's/look up snake skeleton. body horror: skin is still on. character looks totes normal. but sometimes you can see the bones do their bulgy shifting/seperating thing underneath the skin when character is agitated or fidgeting. maybe in a dramatic moment, character overexerts their jaws and breaks their skin open to stretch fully.

face looks totally normal. their eyes SEEM open. then, their eyes split open to open again.

character with busted open ribcage as a part of their design.

character w a bear trap closed on their head.

exposed vertebrae

character that can move their facial features however they want. even turning them inside out or putting one inside the other!

looped ingrown horns? brain damage from ingrown horns?

lobotomy scars

wearing other ppls skin

body part is spreading to other parts of their body like a contagious fungi

[dreamergarden]

fun eyes if youre getting bored or normal ones:

clock (pupil is center). Actually shows the time. perhaps gained by time travelling too much.

smiley face. pupil is nose.

spider. spider crawling around as they look at stuff.

electrical coil

white lashes + wholly black eyes.

gem eye. everything they see is fractal and sparkly.

the iris+pupil is a pattern that repeats across the whole eye and possible beyond it.

glowy eyes showing blurrily thru long bangs.

one eye is bulging with pupils, the other has none.

iridescent.

tv no-signal eyes, flicker between colorbars and gray static.

eyes that look like they're from a grainy, old glitchy vhs tape. the rest of the body does not match.

a person so infused in magic their pupils painfully shift into the shape of runes.

eyes of a color humans should never have seen

eyes that blink the wrong way

radar eyes (+ you get to decide what they're detecting)

animal eyes

[dreamergarden]

superphysical features for ocs:

Secretly supernatural brown eyes that shift to purple in the right angle/light

shaped beauty marks

shaped nails

limbs "fade into bones"

constant runny mascara

iridescent freckles

wings as veil

crystallized wings

mask attached to face via strings of flesh

anything inspired by orchid mantis

[dreamergarden]

gendered attraction is so fuckin weird man. change one letter of a pronoun in erotica and i cease to be horny. fucking wild

[dreamergarden]

god/angelic thing trying to help a cute mortal but damaging them in the process to almost-death with Their radience like a human's salty skin oils burn a worm to shrivel or a magpie cared for by humans becomes dependent

[dreamergarden]

dumb weapons:

literal "can of whoop ass"

war hammer but its a squeaky hammer

bow but it shoots big wasp

braces that let you breathe fire

d20 dice gavel. each time you swing, it rolls and gives you a wildly different weapon.

enchanted knife that without fail always finds a way to stab the user instead

enchanted sword that talks in your mind but it wildly overestimates its own abilities and is really obvious abouts its attempts (all failed, so far) to take over your soul and its kinda annoying

[dreamergarden]

cool words:

"endling" - last individual of their species

"latticework"

"queenright"

"sepulchre"

"fauxliage" (fake foliage, plants)

"witzelsucht": rare neurological symptoms characterized by tendency to make puns, tell inappropriate jokes or pointless stories

"tintinnabulation"

"harrumph"

"knight of the road"

"milquetoast"

"tertium quid": a third thing that is indefinite & undefined but is related to two definite or known things.

"careworn" (tired & unhappy because of prolonged worry.)

"Proprioception"/"kinesthesia"

[dreamergarden]

fun thing to consider for object head oc’s:

how do they sleep/recharge/regain energy?

heal themselves after being dented/hurt/cracked?

eat? drink? remove waste?

clean themselves?

emote? reactions to emotions? pain? energy excess or deficit? what is controllable and what is involuntary?

how do they sense? see, smell, taste, feel, movement, colors, brightness? what does the world look like to them?

what abilities do they have beyond normal human ones? what abilities do they lack?

how do they use their object’s purpose or common use? ex would your clock person keep the time for their friends? be very punctual? if they were to be cracked and stop working, would they instead be chronically late?

how do they feel about their purpose, if man-made? insert iron giant “what if a gun didnt want to be a gun” quote.

what would be the equivalent of sickness for them? what conditions can their object have that could translate into sickness? how would this be treated?

society around them and how it interacts with all above points. ex. would a clock person go to a clockmaker to fix a malfunction?

[dreamergarden]

people try to "awaken" a god, puts them in a body. which actually just takes the god away from their kingdom & much better ethereal existance and therefore the god takes revenge and tries to find a way to die again (it is very hard to die when you are a god)

[dreamergarden]

multiclass idea: clericbard/bardcleric casting magic thru church hymns & carols & choir. the more ppl join in, no matter if they know magic, the more powerful it becmes bc worship babey.

[dreamergarden]

rpg npc ideas:

tiny water nymph of wine living in ur wineskin. permanently drunk. drunk girl complimenting people in the bathroom energy.

big ball gown hiding less than human lower body (spider? lmao she’s a victorian "widow")

guard/bouncer who's a gargoyle since. ya know. guardian......

dragon-headed welder/blacksmith. uses fire-breath for work.

time travelled player character / pc from another timeline

oracle/future teller who's super girly-giggly-gossipy about what theyve seen

rpg fight group: the freak show from a travelling circus. one guy is seperated- legs and upper half in two boxes (magician saw trick).

[dreamergarden]

sci fi story where humans are odd bc we're all about art all the fucking time. other species ex. speak through pheromone-emotions or pure logical reasonings; and then they meet humans who… speak? in poetry? its impossible to explain something that happened without making a story? and its impossible to speak without having your voice make melodies? impossible to have a conversation without rhythm? and all their words mean something so specific yet its impossible to specify? and a picture speaks a thousand words and a word speaks a thousand pictures? and when the logic aliens ask through their human translators "how does it feel to speak in art" in perfect fluent analytical, the humans return with a messy and interwoven thing that takes a few minutes to decode into the message "well, your language is art too, logic is a kind of art in itself, isnt it?" and the aliens are like "what do you MEAN"