dreamerfromearth

[dreamerfromearth]

The best time of my life

There is one special memory very dear to my heart that I can’t help revisiting every once in a while. This past event symbolises the starting point of my journey towards independence. In a way, it was a point of no return, because my life completely changed afterwards.

It was a little over two years ago, when I set about facing as many new experiences as I possible could in a relatively short amount of time. I had the privilege to spend 3 weeks in England for the first time in my life. The colourful and multicultural Brighton became my home for that period. I lived with a host family and visited a language school every day. Furthermore, I joined a gym, discovered Brighton and Hove as much as my time allowed and went on several day trips to see more of England. Leeds, Canterbury, the Isle of Wight, Portsmouth and the Harry Potter Studio in Watford are all places that I definitely wouldn’t mind going back to someday.

Note to picture 1: taken at the Seven Sisters, near Eastbourne

Note to picture 2: taken in the Harry Potter Studio, with the Hogwarts Castle in the background

For me, these 3 weeks meant on one side adventure, fun, new friends, lots of new places to visit and a boost to my language skills. On the other hand, I must mention the hardships, as well, that came with landing in the unknown, the helplessness that at one point threatened to overpower my enthusiasm and the loneliness when I realised, I had none of my family or friends to share all those wonderful experiences with. This duality of the positives and negatives was my companion throughout my stay in England, yet I feel no regret. In the end, this was, what truly allowed me to grow as a person, to learn independence and to step on a higher level of self-discovery. Besides, truth be told, I am pretty sure that my parents had a hard time, too, and suffered just as much as me if not more. The fact that they let their only daughter fly off into this vast and seemingly infinite world without personally checking first if England is, in fact, an existing place, where not cannibals, but people similar to us live, could indeed be quite hard to cope with. So yes, even if I had to clamber over some difficulties myself, I’m not complaining. The knowledge and life experiences gained in the meantime were predominant anyway and valuable beyond measure.

I had suspected that the time spent away from home was going to be intense, but I had had no idea that my homecoming would be even more so. It started after I collected my luggage. The anticipation of finally meeting my parents was steadily growing, until the dam suddenly broke. Maybe it was the moment when my parents’ and my eyes met for the first time in three long weeks. I forgot about the heavy luggage I was dragging behind and the tumult swarming around me caused by the fellow passengers ceased to exist. All I could focus on was the image of my parents, standing on the side lines, craning their necks to spot me as soon as possible. I saw the moment when my mom’s eyes filled with tears, my own eyes mirroring hers shortly after. I have no idea who made the first move, but the next thing I remember is us standing in the middle of the airport, probably also in the way of other people, clutching each other with everything we had. It felt like we hadn’t seen each other for years instead of those few weeks. I think at that point all three of us had tears running down our faces, but those were definitely the happiest tears of my life.

In the end, with all its ups and downs, my first trip to England showed me how strong I actually am (and also how strong my parents are). Among the many reasons why this trip was the best time of my life, our blissful reunion stands out. Even after more than two years, just thinking about it makes my chest tighten and my eyes prickle with unshed tears. So is the power of emotions. If it depends on me, then in the future many more such memories will be born.

[dreamerfromearth]

One place that contains all

One of my all-time projects is to have a Mind Palace like Sherlock Holmes does. A place I can visit whenever I want and review whichever part of my life I choose to. Memories for me hold a tremendous importance and I think anyone who has experienced at least one happy moment in life agrees with me on this one.

Personally, I am proud to possess already quite an impressive number of memories that are worth revisiting every once in a while. Unfortunately, their abundance is both a blessing and a curse. Blessing, because obviously the more there are, the happier I am. Besides, producing worthwhile records is regarded, at least by me, as one of the many main purposes of life. On the other hand, the more there are, the harder it is to keep count of them and prevent them from fading, disappearing, or getting altered during the long years and decades to come.

A human life might feel short with death as a constant presence looming in the background. But at the same time, it is also too long to remember it all. When it comes to maintaining the comings and goings, memories often pile up and sometimes overflow the human mind. Needless to say, I dearly envy Dumbledore for having one of the most useful magical devices at his disposal – a Pensieve. It is admittedly much more enthralling and efficient than my arduously constructed and primitive wannabe Mind Palace.

Note to the pictures: They were taken by my humble self, who was lucky enough to visit the Harry Potter Studio in England and see a Pensieve and a memory collection as a muggle in real life.

Alas, in my reality, also known as the “muggle-world”, such extraordinary things, like Pensieves, are not available for use. Only our minds and in recent times the wonders of technology - namely photos and videos on special backup storages - are there to help us preserve as much as possible. They provide great help and have potential, but sometimes I fear it’s not enough. A photo provides only a frozen glimpse of a past event. It is nothing more than one often ambiguous and elusive piece of a gigantic puzzle. A video is better, but still void of emotions, which only the mind can add to the picture based on a corresponding memory it has stored away. To re-enact every little sensation, every emotion and fragrance, all the details that identify that memory and make it unique is a complex and often hopeless task. I have honestly considered having a GoPro camera permanently attached to my head, or even better: having one implanted in my eyes that automatically records my life on a limitless storage space. Yeah, that would be so much fun.

Many places I’ve been to in my life are now faraway lands somewhere ‘beyond the horizon’. Even if I happen to find my way back to them once, it won’t be the same experience. It would count as a new adventure with a brand-new room forming to accommodate its memory in my Mind Palace. Therefore, I would wish to catalogue each and every one of them, for the erratic years of the future, when I am in need of either motivation, affection, wisdom or a reminder of my past failures.

In conclusion, after the discovery of real places – before they become memories, – a Mind Palace is the second-best place to be.

[dreamerfromearth]

Are we losing our faces?

"Who are you really? And who am I?"

Have you ever had the feeling while chatting online with your friends that something is missing? An efficient detail, in the absence of which your connection remains incomplete. Something that makes the conversation easier and more comfortable, but at the same time uncertain and risky, as well. Text messages are constantly developing, mostly in order to remedy this defect, which is none other than the lack of human faces.

Chatting has become a significant part of our every-day routine. It is considered a successful branch of communication, giving us freedom and a quick way to exchange news. It started out as another one of the many splendid wonders of technology, however, in these days, it is going in a direction not necessarily worth following.

At the beginning, when the first SMS was sent, professionals thought that online communication will become nothing more than a supplementary function. Now we know how tremendously they have miscalculated themselves. Not only has it turned out to be a main function, but also a chief activity of our everyday lives. As a proof, there is minuscule chance that you will meet someone who does not have a smart phone and from there the usage of electronic messages is self-evident.

As I have already mentioned, online chatting in itself can be helpful, too. Unlike during a phone conversation, you don’t have to give an impromptu answer, you have time to think about your answer, and it is easier to hide your bad mood if necessary, as well. As a matter of fact, many people find it less strained and more reassuring to speak with others without seeing their faces. Video chatting would be of course a good alternative, but for some reason, most of us are content to stick to written messages. Indeed, it might take some of the stress away, but it also deprives the communication of its quintessence, the presence of each other.

Since the appearance of the very first human beings, face to face communication has changed a lot. At first, gestures and posture were the principals by the means of which they understood one another. Then, the list started to grow, expanding with mimicry and speech, making our communication nowadays a mixture of all of them. Unfortunately, online chatting is void of most of these principles, therefore, it can never be as productive and straightforward as speaking face to face.

If we wish to make the most of our conversations, it is a must to see at least the face of our partner. Deep down we all need the confirmation that we, as well as the people around us, are real and never alone. A human face is like an open book, we can often hear what it says, even without words. This is a beautiful endowment possessed only by humankind, but now due to the increasing popularity of communication via the internet, it is in grave danger of disappearing. If we continue to let this part of technology consume us, we are doomed to forfeit this special human trait, leaving nothing but our hollow shelves behind. Fortunately, it is not too late to act. As a first step, everyone could start with showing their true, unique faces to the world, not an iconic, yellow one that anyone can call and use as their own.

[dreamerfromearth]

Air-“stricken”

Anxiety, excitement, exhilaration, joy, wonder, thirst for more. For me few things have the power to evoke these emotions with such intensity, to leave me wondering, whether it was only an illusion created by my craziness infused mind. One of these few exceptional things, as I had the privilege to recently discover, is diving headfirst into the open sky from a height of 4000 metres.

My 18th birthday was indeed quite unforgettable. That was the first time my parents, without second thought, even encouragingly, let me fall to my demise. And my demise it was, or better to say a demise for our budget and savings. All I needed was one occasion, one huge kick of adrenalin, to develop a hopeless longing and most probably an addiction to skydiving. Then again, am I really to blame? I was but a weak, little mote against the power of a mighty, grandiose and truly otherworldly force.

The first time was the purest of all, devoid of pretence, stripped of every conscious action and feeling, leaving behind only the honesty of my heart and soul. I wasn’t aware of my ecstatic face, my flailing limbs or the instructor strapped behind me. My body could have ceased to exist for all I know. All mortal worries fled my thoughts having been carried away by the currents of the cold wind that licked my skin like fire the logs in the hearth.

I have to say, free falling is not a normal state of existence. Most people reach the end of their lives without knowing what it feels like to be utterly weightless. Floating in the water comes admittedly close to it, but it’s not the same. As for floating in space, I will be able to give a comparison only after I ticked that off of my bucket list. There are also so-called wind tunnels or in other words indoor skydiving centres, where you can get a taste of free falling in a simulator. However, the emphasis being on the last word, it is indeed but a simulation for the fainthearted. In any case, real, outdoor free falling is unlike anything else that an average human being encounters in normal circumstances, but it’s one of those things that are worth diving into.

Since my first jump I’ve had 4 more trips to the heavens and back. Each time I saw a different landscape, fields, lakes, the far beyond. Sometimes clouds criss-crossed the sky. Another time at the breaking of dawn, I was falling through the first rays of the sun. The anticipation of seeing something breathtakingly beautiful is always there above the rush of excitement. Without doubt, my life has been significantly enriched in this past period, which I am immensely thankful for.

Anxiety, excitement, exhilaration, joy, wonder, thirst for more. These are the feelings that swirl inside my mind and body every time my feet leave the solid ground, knowing that I get to be part of something miraculous once again. Maybe one day, I will even dive with the parachute on my back and the altimeter on my arm, finally making me the one to be in charge of my life.