dragonrider662

[dragonrider662]

“i am a monument to all your sins” is such a fucking raw line for a villain it’s amazing that it came from halo, a modernish video game, and not some classical text or mythos

[dragonrider662]

[dragonrider662]

hozier’s little side quest narrations in between songs are so important to me. saw him (live !!! first time ever !!!!) today spend a solid three minutes going “i’ve just seen the most amazing bootleg hozier tshirt. if i could sell it without getting in loads of trouble i would. if i could WEAR it without getting in trouble i would. it says HOZIER and then it just has pictures of faramir from lord of the rings. oh no— oh i’m sorry, it’s a higher honor, it’s aragorn. and you have— is that boromir? and who’s that, that’s— that’s your fella from the princess bride” about a group of 3 people who had aragorn, boromir, and inigo montoya respectively on their “bootleg hozier” shirts. king.

[dragonrider662]

Item: Ring of Tumescence

[dragonrider662]

[dragonrider662]

Comic Kingdom

If you have laughed more than once, you are legally obliged to support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/warandpeas

[dragonrider662]

i’ve mentioned this here before, but it will remain one of the most ideologically influential experiences of my life: when i was in fifth grade i did a report on post traumatic stress as manifested in veterans of the vietnam war, and my father did me the huge favor of connecting me w/ a vietnam vet friend of his who was diagnosed with PTSD, assuring him that while i was only ten i was bright and curious and he should be as honest with me about his experience as possible. 

i remember entering his office with my tape recorder, sitting in a chair that was too big, and asking him questions about war, and his life after war, while swinging my legs over the edge of the chair. i remember being very, very quiet as he spoke of pulling the car over on the highway for fear of crashing when his hands would shake uncontrollably in response to song on the radio or a smell that he couldn’t be sure was real or sense-memory. and of ruined relationships and anger and american hypocrisy. 

and i also remember that was the day i learned what “valor” meant. he used “valor” in a sentence and i didn’t know that word, and when i asked him to explain “valor” he became very quiet. and i can’t remember precisely what he said, if he ever offered me the dictionary definition or not, but i do remember him looking very sad, and saying something about our country’s idea of “valor”, and also something about a broken promise. and there was an edge to his words that i couldn’t parse at the time that i would later come to understand was bitterness, that he sounded bitter. 

to this day i can’t hear or read the word “valor” without seeing sunlight coming through his office window at a slant, close-to-sunset light, and feeling the kind of quiet, confused, completely internalized panic a child feels when they sense that a grown up is trying very hard not to weep in their presence. 

[dragonrider662]

But he's been found guilty on 34 counts, doesn't that count for 3rd and 4th felony conviction?

Get your 2024 election bingo cards early, guys and gals. It’s gonna be a wild ride

[dragonrider662]

i think women should get into polearms in a big way. not a lot of women in polearms these days. would love to see women doing battle with polearms.

[dragonrider662]

I’m a little peeved cause I was really excited to see how they were gonna animate Laios warming up from this panel. I always really liked how well this drawing conveys a very specific type of motion and I could see it in my mind’s eye clearly. Like, cracking his neck and shaking out his wrists, maybe even doing a little jog in place

and that is NOT how they animated it gsgshshsjdjfj HOWEVER. now we have a gif of Laios stimming so we’re still winning 😼

[dragonrider662]

Gratuitously evil spells for villains to learn

Mordenkainen's Highly Problematic Political Opinions

Spell that causes someone to experience the entirety of The Big Bang Theory in 6 seconds

Spell that causes a needlessly painful death. It figures out the maximum amount of pain it's ethically permissible to inflict based on context and inflicts twice that much on purpose

Fireball but it expands the area of effect to specifically hit all your teammates.

Mildly Upset Person.

Disintegrate but it bestows any object it hits with full human sapience just before the ray hits.

Locate Object but every time you cast it, it kicks a random guy in the nuts for no good reason.

Hellish Rebuke but it hits anyone who isn't attacking you.

Ray of Deforestation

Transmute Food To Food That's Produced Unsustainably And Using Unethical Labor Practices

Nullify Union

[dragonrider662]

[dragonrider662]

So.... 92 G for you when you're enlisted.

[dragonrider662]

It's gonna be such a funny mess when Donald Trump dies of a stroke on April 1st, 2024.

Naturally everybody will think it's fake because of the date only to lose their minds (both positively and negatively based on their opinion of trump) when realizing it's real

There will be massive celebrations in the streets and on social media and lots of predictable "don't speak ill of the dead" discourse about those celebrations

Weird evangelicals will pull some weird number trick talking about how Jesus was conceived on April 1st and that makes Trump a sort of messiah and people will make fun of that

The Republicans (after they're done with the faux-sadness and faux-outrage) will stomp over each other to be his successor but none of them will succeed. They'll tear each other apart and have no single nominee for the November elections.

There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)

The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan.

Ten thousand new memes are made, some sticking around for years to come.

Not a month later a bunch of unofficial biographies of Trump hit the bookshelves, many with new details about just how awful he was.

[dragonrider662]

[dragonrider662]

by Phi Nguyễn