dragonheartftherpays

[dragonheartftherpays]

if you’ve been following me long enough you know I love a mimic. From my false faced mermaids that I’ve been painting for years to butterfly dragons, I’m a big fan of illusion in the bestiary world.

I bring you the Ginkgo Draco, another member of the Botanical Drakes. 

[dragonheartftherpays]

in honor of 4chan exploding, I want to remind you all that they used to do “raids” on Tumblr.

they tried to flood the popular tags with gore and porn. this was when Homestuck was at its peak, so they were a target too. (side note: tags barely functioned at all at this point so trying to make them useless was like throwing a molotov into an already burning building but try telling that to 4channers)

but the Homestuck fandom was ready and countered by flooding the tag with weirder, more explicit Homestuck porn and gore.

to the point that the trolls themselves got weirded out, fucked off, and never attempted a “raid” again.

everyone moved on but I stayed there because that is one of the funniest fucking things to happen on this website.

[dragonheartftherpays]

Lost and Found

I've been really nostalgic for Steven Universe lately, and I have so much love and appreciation for the show I grew up with, so I thought I should make something nice to sort of give back, y'know? Anyways, I hope you enjoy. <3

[dragonheartftherpays]

the most annoying people are people who don't understand storytelling. they be like "oooo how convenient that this thing happened to the main character in the very beginning". yeah no shit. that's why the story begins here

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[dragonheartftherpays]

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[dragonheartftherpays]

since mrs, ms, and mr are all descended from the latin word magister, i propose the gender neutral version should be mg, short for "mage"

[dragonheartftherpays]

So the airbase has a commander whose name is Sergeant. His rank is Lieutenant Colonel and his office is, of course, private.

[dragonheartftherpays]

so the other day a castmate of mine was talking about having once been a little girl (at this point, i all but short-circuited because said castmate is a man in his mid-sixties and my brain had its little moment of “!!!!! trans person!!! and he’s OLD!!!!”) and being asked if there was a famous person he looked up to or wanted to look or be more like. and he said— again, as a little girl at this point— “santa claus!” and everyone thought he was weird for it.

and this story doesn’t read as well over text because you really have to see the guy. but he looks just like santa claus. he’s got the long white hair and the beard and the belly and everything. and i just. the amount of secondhand trans joy i experienced is truly insane. i’m gonna get old! i’m gonna get old the way i wanna get old! hey everybody you’re gonna get old; we’ve been doing it for years!

anyway shoutout to the santa claus of my cast and to every older trans person we love you so fucking much

[dragonheartftherpays]

I wonder if Neil’s owner/s know about how we celebrate the date of that photo

Neil himself is long gone from this world, and yet every April 13th this group of internet strangers come together to celebrate him and his act of banging out the tunes. Like an entire holiday, all for this little guy

Cause I think it’s pretty beautiful if you wanna get all sentimental and sappy

[dragonheartftherpays]

Since it's almost Easter, I want to tell everyone the story of the cafeteria lunch lady at my school who I sort of on purpose, sort of accidentally convinced I was possessed.

So once upon a time, before J. K. Rowling was radicalized, back when the books were first becoming popular, a bunch of Christians got it into their heads that J.K. Rowling was in league with Satan and the books had real spells, and the books would trick the children who had read them into becoming satanists and witches, and selling their souls to the devil to work magic, and they would all become possessed by demons, and die and go to hell. It was all very much the same thing they were saying about Dungeons and Dragons in the eighties. For the most part, this was a Protestant Evangelical phenomenon, but the occasional Catholic bought into it too, and one of those Catholics who bought into this was my school's lunch lady.

She saw me one day at lunch reading a book from the incredibly popular Harry Potter series, and told me in that solemn way that adults sometimes do when talking to a young person they think is going wrong, that I needed to stop reading that book, because otherwise I would open myself up to demons and wind up possessed.

Now I have severe ADHD, and one of the ways this manifests is that I get songs stuck in my head at the drop of a hat, and they stay there for weeks on end and are very, very annoying and distracting. And my mother loves musicals, so we listened to them around the house all the time. And at the time the musical we were listening to was a not-at-all controversial little number by the name of Jesus Christ Superstar. This musical is a pretty standard retelling of the passion, which is to say the last days of Jesus's life from just before his entrance into Jerusalem until his crucifixion, and it was also written by two Christians, but in spite of this, the same kinds of groups who decided Harry Potter was a tool to get children to sell their souls to the devil, decided Jesus Christ Superstar was blasphemous.

But anyway because this is a passion story, Caiaphus, the high priest, is one of the main villains, and he gets an absolute banger of a song, which at that very moment I had stuck in my head, and I had been doing my very best not to sing all day, because it is not appropriate for school. This song is called "Jesus Must Die".

So here we are, and the lunch lady has just told me that I needed to stop reading a book or I would be possessed. So I turned to her and looked her straight in the eye and started singing at the top of my lungs: "FOOLS, YOU HAVE NO PERCEPTION, THE STAKES WE ARE GAMBLING ARE FIGHTENINGLY HIGH! WE MUST CRUSH HIM COMPLETELY, SO LIKE JOHN BEFORE HIM, THIS JESUS MUST DIE!"

She screamed, crossed herself, and never spoke to me again.

[dragonheartftherpays]

[dragonheartftherpays]

@suspiciousmammal asked for some pictures of horses in cool tack and I thought I'd already posted these guys but I can't find the post anywhere, so I'm uploading 'em now. They're shitty pics but I took them with the intention of collecting references of the tack, so they serve that purpose well I'd say!

The only part I like about the Oktoberfest are the horses in their gorgeous tack :) Not pictured: All the big draft horses with the huge padded collar pieces are pulling wagons containing up to 20 metric tons of beer. They're usually four our six horses a wagon.

[dragonheartftherpays]

advice i think we should tell children is that when adults say stuff like ‘now that i’m an adult i get really excited about stuff like coffee tables and bathrooms and rugs etc’ they don’t mean ‘and now i don’t care about blorbo and squimbus from my childhood tv shows anymore’ bc your average adult still loves all the same pop culture stuff they always did; they just have a greater appreciation for the mundane as well. growing up just means you can enjoy life twice as much now. you can get really excited about a new stuffed animal AND about a new kitchen sponge. peace and love

[dragonheartftherpays]

theres a phenomenon that happens on here i have been calling "normalize loving parents posting" which is when you spend a lot of time on tumblr and are exposed to a lot of one specific counter-cultural narrative day in and day out until you start to forget what the dominant ideas are for most of the human population and thus feel the need to "defend" things that are widely accepted and popular. it's called this because of the time a bunch of text posts about shitty dads were circulating and then people with good relationships with their dad didn't feel included enough and started making "uhmmm can we normalize loving parents? not everyone has a deadbeat dad, MY dad is great" type posts, seemingly forgetting that good relationship with dad is a cultural norm that is expected and encouraged. i think its good practice, especially when im annoyed, to stop before i hit the post button and ask myself if this is a real issue or if im normalize loving parents posting. because often im about to try to normalize loving parents