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[dragonfox45]

A snake story, based on an experience I had while I was in Florida.

[dragonfox45]

I have two

Fighter: If you got arrested what would be the charges? Rogue: Theft. Bard: Disturbing the peace. Barbarian: Aggravated assault. Sorcerer: Arson. Warlock: All of the above. In that order, probably.

[dragonfox45]

Me, OOC: Can I-?

DM: *Heavy sigh* YES, you can collect the bones! God, I hate it here….

My long term goals for said bones? BONE THRONE.

[dragonfox45]

To make a very very long story short, two of our characters like this general because he acts like a sugar daddy, while two of our characters HATE this general because he false imprisioned us, killed our friend, said let bygones be bygones then literally dropped our butts into a war zone after which one of our best friend NPC’s betrayed us by turning out to be a general’s spy (he did not survive that encounter). Our druid joined late and is undecided on the general.

Our fearless leader made a grave mistake. 

Bard (Leader): Ok so I need to go into town, they have never seen a dragonborn before so [Barbarian] you and [Wizard] go to the general’s army. [Rogue] you’re with me. Druid your choice. 

Barbarian: You do realize this is a horrible plan right? 

Bard: Better than letting Pyro into town. 

Wizard: I’m offended but also you’re not wrong. 

Barbarian: Alright, as long as you accept the consequences…

Druid: I’ll go with them. 

DM: The general invites you to sit at his table and eat. 

Barbarian: We don’t. 

Wizard: I’m admiring my nails. 

Druid: I stand awkwardly really confused. 

DM: The general is disappointed, but respect your choice. He start to talk–

Wizard: I interrupt him with a sigh. 

DM: He tries to. 

Wizard: I argue with him. 

DM: He looks at Barbarian.

Barbarian: I’m looking at this rock I found, not paying attention at all. 

DM: Druid? 

Druid: I… uh. Wild shape into a spider? 

DM: Alright, Wizard and Barbarian one second. *Rolls dice* …. shit I rolled bad. Any chance either of you are below 22HP? 

Barbarian: Lol No. Wizard: Nope. 

DM: So he failed to cast sleep. 

Wizard: HE DID WHAT!

*Proceeds to the next 20 minutes of mostly the wizard insulting the king, the barbarian ignoring all of this, and the druid hiding.* 

DM: Druid you notice a glint of light as a dagger stabs into the general. 

Barbarian: Oh that ain’t good. 

DM: The general slumps over dead, and a familiar black and red armored individual is in front of you. 

Barbarian: THE ASSASSIN’S GUILD IS HERE AND THEY’RE GONNA MAKE US LOOK PRETTY SUS! I TACKLE HIM!

*Combat begins and druid uses skywrite with a big “HELP”, but the Bard and Rogue arrive late* 

Bard: What happened?!?!

Barbarian (Panicking): THE GENERAL GOT STABBED BY THIS GUY *shakes dead assassin’s body* AND WE DIDN’T FIGURE OUT ANYTHING BEFORE HE DIED MYSTERIOUSLY 

Wizard: *Innocnetly whistling* 

Druid: I’m gonna go make sure the army isn’t about to kill us. 

Bard: HOW DID YOU FUCK THIS UP? 

Barbarian: I TOLD YOU THIS WAS A BAD IDEA AND YOU DIDN’T LISTEN! 

So now we’re being chased by an army… 

[dragonfox45]

Me, OOC: Can I-?

DM: *Heavy sigh* YES, you can collect the bones! God, I hate it here….

My long term goals for said bones? BONE THRONE.

[dragonfox45]

me: *sips drink* wow this is bad

friend: is it? *sips my drink* wow yeah this is bad

friend 2: let me try *sips my drink* oh God that's terrible

friend 3: hey what's going on here

me: my drink is bad

friend 3: *sips my drink* that's bad

friend 4: the drink is bad? *sips my drink*the drink is bad

friend 5: did I hear something about a bad drink?

[dragonfox45]

had the phrase “like the handgun in the first aid cabinet” come to me in a dream and damn that’s evocative. fuck if i know what it evokes though.

[dragonfox45]

Encanto Genderbend

This was heavily inspired by @sokkas-first-fangirl 's awesome fanfiction dealing with Bruna's quinceañera and the rest of her Encanto genderbend universe.

Please check out @tortillafish 's gorgeous designs and art that are also set in this au!

💖💖💖

[dragonfox45]

They love each other 💕 they’re best friends 💕 unparalleled cousin relationship 💕

Another @incorrectmadrigalfamilyquotes quote that I loved

[dragonfox45]

Art styles exercise with Bruno Madrigal💚

In order

Mine

@sketchnwhatevr

@ramshackledtrickster

@soma-20

@glitternightingale

[dragonfox45]

I get my media recommendations the old fashioned way: by watching someone I follow on here go on an unhinged reblog spree of media related content until I eventually decide to go “alright, what’s all this then”

[dragonfox45]

keep popularising the body neutrality movement gang i wanna see how the makeup and weight loss industries try to capitalise on 'i literally do not give two shits about how i look'

[dragonfox45]

Hey besties! My abusive family’s finally kicking me out! I’m looking at apartments in the area & have some money saved, but I’m going to need some serious help to not end up on the streets. If you can spare anything at all, it’d help significantly! https://ko-fi.com/anandrew 🙏

[dragonfox45]

Npc friend: What’s a cop?

Bard: Someone you can’t show your wanted poster to.

Fighter, the cop: (jokingly) You say that like you have one!

Bard:

Rogue, holding Bard’s wanted poster:

[dragonfox45]

Sometimes, a fic doesn't have to get published, it can just be a series of messages on a Discord channel, between a dedicated group of friends going "oooh, you know what else would be cool?" continuously over a period of weeks and months :)

[dragonfox45]

i like how we say ‘i don’t go here’ when referring to fandoms were not in on this website. really makes it feel like each fandom is a different school. or perhaps we walked into the wrong class. or it’s like this is some kind of tumblr unive- *gets shot*

[dragonfox45]

Steven Universe is interesting to me because it’s got the most extreme dichotomy between ideas that would be better fleshed out in a show for adults, and ideas that are interesting specifically because they’re native to an unironic children’s show.