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wizard college is going to kill me I swear to god. I just saw someone without a component satchel reach into their pocket and pull out a handful of LOOSE tapioca to use as a substitute for blood in their fell ritual. and it worked. I've never been so fucking mad.

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Uzi feels like an energy drink fiend. Chugs that shit like water. N & V though...

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Some folks watching Evil Dead II the way it was meant to be seen.

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Hollywood archaeology: Secret treasure! Hidden maps! Ancient tombs!

Actual archaeology:

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My douchey coworker started a story by being like, “You know Mr. Beast?”

And honest to god, I don’t, but I suspect if this coworker likes him then I wouldn’t care for him. I had the unparalleled pleasure of going, “The moldy cheese guy?”

That was the only thing I knew associated with the name.

Fully derailed him. He was absolutely baffled and stopped to google the moldy cheese scandal. So thank you tumblr, for sharing about the moldy cheese so I didn’t have to listen to that anecdote.

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if they ever met normally, Y/N would’ve been embarrassing themselves left and right

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People act like voice training is unnatural or meant as a “trick” and then I get to sit in my office and listen to every single one of my cis coworkers change their pitch of their voice up or down whenever they’re on the phone

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There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

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lol, lmao.

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a "lycanthrope" bard built purely around vicious mockery who's lycanthrope form is a dog puppet on a disembodied hand(that addition was my dad's idea, of making him look like the insult comic dog).

the way you say the insult comic dog suggests this is something i should know about - paper

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everything is truly so terrible but i just remembered doreen ketchens playing clarinet for her infant grandson and then i was kind of okay again for 36 seconds

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Shaky relationship

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Alright fine, let's do this

(based on this post)