dragon-of-mothers

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Richard Speight Jr. in The Evil Gene ↳ Kissing scene for @lamthetwickster

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Being abused can seriously affect your ability to distinguish between “not obviously pleased” and “obviously displeased” because abusers go from Neutral to Hostile for absolutely no discernible reason, and eventually you start worrying that everyone is going to be like that and you start feeling this urge to make absolutely sure that the people you actually care about aren’t mad or upset, because to you, “there’s no evidence that they’re not angry” is the same as “there’s evidence that they are angry”

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do u ever just purposefully not look @ ur bank account because u know u fucked up

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i walked in on my 4 year old nephew sitting alone on his bed eating grapes in the dark and i didn’t even get a chance to say anything before he said “i don’t have answers”

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Give Love Today

     This morning when I woke up I read about an extreme act of hatred that had occurred while I slept. And I cried. I cried not just as an American, but as a Human. I cried in mourning for the lives lost, but I also cried happy tears because I saw all the love and strength that was emerging. This terrible act of hatred was sparking worldwide acts of love, support, and kindness-three things there are never enough of. 

     I was asked by Gishwhes and Misha Collins to give some love today and write about an important person that I loved. That person is my father, Dan. He doesn’t have a tumblr or twitter but he definitely deserves recognition.

     My parents split when I was only a couple years old and even though I lived with my mom he has always been a constant in my life. We stayed close as I grew up, and he came to my house to drive me to school every morning. In high school I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety and had to see a therapist every Tuesday. I LOVED therapy. Why? Not only was my therapist amazing and helped me understand that I am not alone and that life was worth living, but because my dad took me to those appointments. Every Tuesday I got to spend a few hours with the man I loved most. After my sessions he would take me out to dinner anywhere I wanted, and we would wander around local stores to make the time last longer and just talk. I cherished every Tuesday.

     In 2013 I left home to go to college 4 hours away. It was hard leaving my family, but I wanted to do my best and make them proud. Especially my dad. You see he’s the one that’s working overtime more days than not to put me through school. Without his amazing financial support I wouldn’t be where I am today and everything that I do, I do to make him proud. He has always been there for me.

     On Thursday April 28th, 2016, I was riding my bicycle to work. I remember putting on my favorite hoodie and packing my work shirt and phone in a drawstring backpack. I remember putting on my shoes, and opening the front door. I don’t remember the next four days, or what happened. 

     I was struck by a car going 25mph, and I wasn’t wearing a helmet. There was blood gushing out of my left ear and both nostrils by the time the paramedics got there. I was rushed to the nearest hospital with the second most severe level of brain injury, and had to be brought to a hospital with a brain trauma unit via flight for life. By the time I got there my level was bumped up to 13, which is the third lowest brain injury level and was a really good sign. I somehow had no injuries other than my head.

     But my head? It didn’t fare as well as the rest of me. I had gray white brain discoloration, brain bleeding, two hemorrhages, a hematoma, a temporal skull fracture, a sinus fracture, and a base skull fracture, a split in the back of my scalp, broken left ear bones, a busted eardrum, and am now deaf in my left ear because it basically just burst open into a hole. My brain was draining itself from that ear but then my ear closed itself off and the blood started pooling under my skin.

     I got hit on Thursday. I was out Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Those days don’t exist in my head. The first two days I was on nothing but morphine and saline. I lost 7lbs. Monday I woke up and actually realized what was going on. I woke up, and saw my dad standing next to my bed smiling at me. It was in that moment that I knew everything was going to be okay. And it was. He slept in the recliner next to my hospital bed every night. He made sure I ate even when I protested that I wasn’t hungry. He kept me company, kept me sane, and helped me feel safe. 

     They said it would be weeks of rehab and months until my brain was normal again. One week after the accident my brain was functioning normally. Everyone was amazed and bewildered. I drove home with my mom, and my dad followed behind us in his car. 

    It’s been over a month since my accident and my dad has talked to me everyday despite the fact I’m four hours from home again. Last week he took the long drive up here to spend a few days in my apartment to help me feel safe. This man is amazingly strong, kind, loving, and thoughtful, and I am thankful for him every minute of everyday. He is the reason that my future will be bright and the reason that I work so hard. He is my dad, and I love him.

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Misha Collins played by the awesome @marinemanna (purple) Me as the Queen. (yellow)

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Fracking

Me: Fracking shouldn't be allowed.

Totally not me: Are you crazy? It's revolutionized the energy industry here in America.

Me: "Revolutionize" doesn't always equate to "good idea". Fracking is terrible for the environment.

Totally not me: No it's not, that's just a myth.

Me: SCIENCE ISN'T A MYTH YOU MORON. FRACKING CAN RELEASE CHEMICALS AND POLLUTANTS INTO GROUNDWATER EFFECTIVELY CONTAMINATING IT AND POTENTIALLY KILLING BEINGS THAT NEED THAT WATER.

Totally not me: So?

Me: WE. ARE. THOSE. BEINGS. YOU. IDJIT.

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This thing has been uploading for more than 30 minutes now. Why does my internet decide to cut out during tiny Gishwhes. 

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IVE BEEN TRYING TO UPLOAD THE VIDEO FOR GTT7 OF GISHWHESTAKESTUMBLR FOR 45MINUTES BUT MY INTERNET IS LAGGING AND CUTTING OUT. IM NOW ON VIMEO AT 13%. AHHHHHHH

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I mean... A for effort amirite?

Only a few more hours left for you to pick up a unique item and help raise money for my charity! http://bit.ly/2016HCHSAuction

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I couldn’t figure out how to change my background to orange, but here’s an orange orange to make up for it. 

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“Hey Alex why do you keep reblogging the same post over and over?”

Misha Collins makes me do things sometimes.

Thanks to Allegiance co-book writer Marc Acito for this. What a wonderful reminder.

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Thanks to Allegiance co-book writer Marc Acito for this. What a wonderful reminder.

[dragon-of-mothers]

Thanks to Allegiance co-book writer Marc Acito for this. What a wonderful reminder.

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awwww shit here we go Misha’s tumblr is going LIVE IN 3 MINUTES

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Spiderman

no