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  ⊰— ❤ —⊱

                  ❝ Maybe not take total custody of her,                                                       but be in her life, Himori.❞                  She understood him hesitating with taking in their child,                    but he needs to understand that she would take any help.                    he would give her. The moment she found out she was                    pregnant, she cried. How was she suppose to care for                   her. Constantly moving, always working. That's no                   environment for a child to grow up in. Katsumi knows                   that from experience. A child needs love from a parent                   figure. She was hoping that he would help her in some                   way. Any and all participation is all she asks for.

                  ❝ Look, I know you're very busy a-and—❞                  Her hands started to shake lightly. She took a deep                  breath as her hands gripped the cup tightly. Her gaze                  focused on the brown liquid in the porcelain glass.

                    ❝ And you probably want nothing to do with me                               or her. All I'm asking is that we give Renée a                                            better childhood than either of us had.❞                Katsumi knew she may or may not have crossed                   the line with that one, but she knew he would                   understand where she was coming from with that.                   A child with no love is sure to grow up broken, just                   as the two of them have.

Bigger Than Us Both ∫∫ Salaciousparamour

{ ♫ } — A lot to take in. Oh, she thinks!? He made a troubled                  expression and clicked his tongue. He held no                  resentment towards either of the girls, more towards                  himself for being a bit careless as well. He should                  have thought of this, prepared himself. He never had                  to worry about it when he was doing things like that with                  guys so it never occurred to him that there would still be                  a possibility. With a sigh, he let his shoulders drop in                  defeat.

                                                                “There’s no such thing as                                         taking time with an event like this. I pick                                         it up, I go. That’s all there is to it.”

                 He took a sip of his coffee.

                                                                 ”So what exactly do you                                         want me to do here? I know this is more                                         than just a big reveal or whatever. When                                         you disappeared on me after we broke up,                                         you never exactly told me what you were                                         up to so. What? Do you want me to give                                         you monthly payments or something?”

                  He’d understand asking because they were never                   married, there’s no way she could fight for child support.                   He’s not on the child’s birth certificate as far as he’s                   concerned. It’s either she wants money or… But that’s                   impossible. With her brother, he suspects she has                   access to plenty of funds. So what? Wait…

                                                                   ”Or… you’re not asking                                          me to take the child under my wing, are                                         you?”

                   As much as he’d love to have a child…. he doesn’t                    believe he’s in the correct position for such a task.

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 ⊰— ❤ —⊱                     ❝ It wasn't planned, Himori. The birth control didn't                                                                              work.❞                         She sighed, hands moving away from the child and onto the table. It                         wasn't an easy thing to let settle in, but she had no words of comfort to                         offer him. He'd have to come to terms with it on his own. It was hard on her                         at first, but she slowly grew into acceptance. It'd take some time, surely,                         but she wouldn't push him away when he comes around.                                            ❝ I know it's a lot to take in, so just...take some time to think.❞

Bigger Than Us Both ∫∫ Salaciousparamour

{ ♫ } —

                                Clink. 

              He dropped his cup the small way onto the glass                    table, not caring if a little of the drink spilt over the                    side and splashed against his fingers. They burned,                    red, but it was nothing compared to the shock factor                    of something like that. It’s impossible. They haven’t                    been involved with each other for… for at least a year                    now. There’s no way the baby could be his.

                                              “Katsumi, that’s not a very funny joke.”

                   But despite what left his lips, he could tell by the                    way she was looking at him that she wasn’t lying.                    There’s only one way she could know without                     having a DNA test done. He glanced at the baby                    for a moment and noted how old she seemed                    to look and damn him if she didn’t appear to be                    a few months old.

                   If there’s any way; the conception had to be just                    before they broke up when they…

                                               ”You’re…. you are kidding, right?                                    Right?” 

                    As much as he desired to be a father one day,                     this is not how he imagined it happening. This                     has to be a bad dream. He rubbed his face                     in confusion.

                                               ”Holy shit. I did what I did with                                      you under the impression you were                                      taking something for it.”

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 ⊰— ❤ —⊱     How exactly does one word this carefully? Well, there's no way around it                            than just simply saying he's the father, but it's his reaction that she's not                            really looking forward to. However his statement snapped her out of it.                            She had thought that she made sure to cover her properly as well as                            dress her warmly. Taking her attention off the male, she gently tucked her                            in a little tighter. It's not easy being a mother, no, but she tries her hardest                            to take care of her child. Even so far as to stay on the run. Sure there                            were some nights where all she could do was cry, but that's why she's                            here now. She needs a little bit of help with Renée. Being only seventeen                            with a infant without a stable source of income is no easy feat.                                 ❝ Himori,❞                         Hesitant at first as she continued to care over the baby, but that was                            soon melted away once she made contact with the child's soft blue hues.                                 ❝ This...this is your child.❞                         There. The word is out. Her heart was beating a mile per hour as she                            listened to the soft background of the café. She was almost afraid to look                            back up at him, but she couldn't back down now. He knows. That's                            what's matters. What he wants to do is up to him. With or without him,                            she's going to continue to take care of her. She's been fine so far, she'll                            find a way. However, she just wants her child to have a father. Growing                            up in a noble family didn't really have her close to her parents at all. She                            wants to experience a true mother-daughter-father family. Not anything                            that was forced to diminish from harsh lessons.                                 ❝ I understand if you want nothing to do with me or Renée since you're                                     doing so well,❞                          Her eyes glanced up to him once more,                                 ❝ But I just wanted you to know. You have the right to know.❞

Bigger Than Us Both ∫∫ Salaciousparamour

{ ♫ } — It wasn’t that he was impatient or didn’t want to                  hear what she had to say, his personality was                  just going through a change and he was in the                  middle of still trying to figure out how to deal with                  it. His initial reaction is to just appear unassuming                  and not phased, since that’s the bare bones of the                  change. He glanced over at the baby and studied                  her features. She was independent, huh… He                  wondered where in the world Katsumi got parenting                  skills from. Not in a rude way of thinking, he was                   just curious. Babies were a handful. Reo certainly                   was when he was little.

                 She caught Himori’s attention with the mention                  of the reason to why he was meeting him with her.                  Right… she had never said anything over the phone                  really. He just assumed it was to catch up. In fact                  he was surprised she even brought the baby with                  her. It was awfully cold to be taking babies that                  age outside….

                                                “You might want to wrap her up                                  a little tighter since it’s cold outside. The                                  door has been opening a lot and she                                   might get hit with the chill.”

                  He turned back to her.

                                                 ”I’m still a bit lost as to why you                                   called me here. You say it’s about her,                                    but I can’t think of any reason why.”

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wake up alone (acoustic version) // amy winehouse

if i was my heart i’d rather be restless the second i stop the sleep catches up and i’m breathless

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 ⊰— ❤ —⊱     She was glad to hear he's doing okay, she's heard of him being a well                          known DJ all over Japan and even when she went to a few other countries.                          She hasn't actually heard any of his work, but she was glad to hear it. She                          hasn't ever met Melody, but she remembers he use to speak of highly of                          her. So it's nice to hear her helping him out. The last she seen him, he                          wasn't doing so well. Katsumi hopes she'd get to meet such a wonder                          person.                            ❝ I've seen you in quite a bit of magazines. I'm happy for you.❞

                         A small smile appeared briefly. Old habits die hard.                                 ❝ I myself have been well. Just a lot of travel. The little one is a quiet                                                 baby. Renée is very independent for her age.❞                          Well, it wouldn't make much sense for her to change the topic now. It's                          just that, it's hard when he looks like, to her, that he has no patience with                          her, nor what she has to talk about. It made her feel irrelevant all over                          again. It's just like back when they were just separated. That shouldn't                          matter anymore. She's trying to move forward. She has her wonderful                          bundle of joy to make her feel happy now. Taking a deep breath, she                          clasped her hands together in her lap, attempting to make eye contact with                          the blond across the table.                            ❝ She's actually the reason why I called to meet you today.❞

Bigger Than Us Both ∫∫ Salaciousparamour

{ ♫ } — He’s a little worried to know what this is all                  about, honestly, but he’ll let her gradually get                  to the point. He noticed the sleeping baby, but                  he just sort of assumed that she was either a                  new sibling or Katsumi had hooked up with                  someone during their separation. Probably                  Kouhei. He wouldn’t be surprised. Himori                   scratched the back of his neck with a soft sigh.

                                      “Okay I guess. Busy. I’ve been                          DJing at a lot of festivals. TV interviews                         with Mel and stuff. Stuff you’ve probably                         already seen on TV, online, or on                          magazines.”

                 Oh the stressful life of a musician. He could                  have it harder, though. He thanked the waitress                  when she brought him his drink. He took it in                   his hands and warmed up his fingers.

                                      “How about you? Life well?”

                  He pointed at the baby girl.

                                      “Looks like you got busy, huh?”

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⊰— ❤ —⊱      Her head popped up at the sound of his voice. It's been such a long time                          since she has seen him or heard from him. It made her stomach sink a little                          as she tried to remain calm with him so close to her. She shook her head,                          and took a deep breath. This was going to be hard.                                    ❝ Ah, no. It's fine. I wasn't waiting for long. ❞

                         A bit awkward, but she hopped he hadn't noticed. She isn't quite use to                          his presence, let alone anyone else's. She's so use to putting up her walls                          and noble practiced smile that it's hard to act genuine with anyone. Even                          those what she was close too. Katsumi let her delicate hands bring the cup                          to her lips once more before sighing out. How to start this conversation.                          Should she be straight forward and come out with it, or should she                          delicately ease up to the conversation.

                                 ❝ It's been a while, Mori. How have you been lately? ❞

                         Stalling it is. It just wouldn't feel right to just tell him as soon as he sits                          down. She let one of her hands gently stroke her daughters soft cheek.                             He'll know sooon enough.

Bigger Than Us Both ∫∫ Salaciousparamour

  { ♫ } — Ah, his coat keeps slipping off.         He must                  be getting smaller again,     how troublesome.                  He’ll have to go back out on another shopping                  trip soon.   He checked his phone for the time                  and thankfully noted that he was right on time                  to meeting Katsumi at the   -   not so much so                  anymore, despite what he told her - local cafe.                  He briskly walked across  the street to  get on                  the  correct  side and  saw the sign not too far                  down the street.            Just a little bit further…

                 He exhaled in relief when he managed to  get                  inside and thank the heavens it was very warm                  because  his  fingers  felt  frozen  to  the  touch.                   He noticed Katsumi waiting for him and made                  his way over.

                                       ”Sorry to keep you waiting-”

                 The waitress came over and asked for his order,                  and him having the sweet tooth he had, he had                  to order the sugar cookie cappuccino. It would be                  unlawful if he didn’t.

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art by ♦

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Bigger Than Us Both ∫∫ Salaciousparamour

⊰— ❤ — ⊱ It felt odd, contacting him out of the blue, not to mention the fact that he actually agreed to meet up with her. It was something that she wanted to avoid, but a necessity that needs to happen. Her decision would affect the both of their lives, including the new addition that would be in their lives for now on. The two of them now have a little baby girl, Renée. She's a little bundle of ignorant happiness with a head of curly white hair and bright blue  eyes. Her eyes were and exact copy of his while she had a little bit of her mother's features. It's only been a few months since the baby girl was born, but Katsumi has made sure to treat her baby very well. But, it's not right that her child's father doesn't know about Renée and there's a chance that Renée could grow up without a father. So here she is, in a Café sipping a nice herbal green tea, trying to calm her nerves as she anxiously waits for him to arrive, her baby girl sleep in the travel seat next to her in the booth seat. With all of her self doubt and troublesome thoughts swirling around her head, she didn't notice to footsteps approaching her. Her hands lightly gripped against the warm white cup. She hoped from the bottom of her heart that all will turn out well. For the sake of her child and how well she grows up.