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one thing that stuck out to me about the derap convo in "love that i give" is that derap was in stream during the whole mapicc convo, but still insisted zam give him the summary himself.
which is fair enough both for the recording and for his character to learn it for himself. and to see if zam would say something different.
But he heard zam talk about the rift getting worse and how much it made zam sad and how much he thought the only way out was to choose mapicc but zam didn't want to do that. And how much he cared about the things they did together.
how they Four Times did an exchange: do you think i'm lying to you? yes. do you think i'm lying to you? yea a little bit. do you think I'm lying to you? i dunno. do you think I'm lying to you? no, but there is a vibe in the air that youre hiding something.
How chat was saying it's good mapicc talks instead of just attacking. How they clarified that they thought mapicc wanted an excuse to believe zam.
he heard it all. he heard so much devotions. Of course he'd be bitter. Of course he'd be mocking of mapicc. of course he'd call mapicc jealous. Of course he'd call mapicc insecure. he's not wrong at all. mapicc is all these things, but derap is too. how could he not be after listening in on their convo.
it was only after that convo that he really started insisting that mapicc wants zam's opinion and only listens to zam. he started to have that mindset before this, but it's only now that he is so confident in it.
so when he said zam would have to choose it's more resigned to his own fate. he fully believes zam would never truly choose him in the end. and that hurts.
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why are all my asks “congrats on beating scar” and “what are you pronouns /gen” and also “you can use this slur if you want” 😭😭😭😭😭
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Everytime derap tells a new person that the one rule is they can't go to mawn ever again a part of me dies the same way it died when E said "no more secret's, yeah?"
#oh derapchu...#YOU cant go to spawn ever again because mapicc hates YOU specifically <3#i dont think this rule is enforced for literally anyone else <3
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vitalasy: why didnt you talk last season?
zam: ... i was scared. it was fresh.
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There is Nothing like the feeling of seeing two people interact after a year and 9 months and them being exactly the same.
The not accepting Zam's self depreciation/being wrong that vi was right, vi's little punches to emphasize his point. his really (really Really) long contemplative pauses. zam's silence, nervous jumping, waiting to hear what vi might be thinking. vi's difficulty in choosing words but also being devastating when he does (eclipse is his favorite story ever told on lifesteal. ok so just kill me now). zam's emotional leaning (i just really missed you. do you want to watch the sunset?) zam showing love but feeling like he can't be exuberant about bc he shows it by saying words while vi shows happiness by smiling silently (and wanting to talk off stream). the absolute dread from zam when vi couldn't find the words to describe his feelings, the pure joy giggles when vi instead said he missed it. the back and forth "hi's" when the convo gets lost.
But both of them growing and maturing. vi admitting he wasn't right, and he did keep things from zam. zam apologizing and saying he was scared to bring it up last season.
long story short I'm not okay.
#the last memories i have of vitalasy from zam's pov are not good ones#i just remember eclipse federation and their few interactions in s5 with dread#but holy fucking shit i forgot why i was so invested in them in the first place#and why the eclipse fed breakup was so devastating#because oh my fucking god. what do i even do right now.#this is crazy
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"when i look back on my favorite story ive done on lifesteal, i think and talk about.. eclipse federation"
IM GONNA THWOR UP WHAT???? THIS IS LIKE. THE FIRST TIME ANY OF THEM HAVE SAID THE FUCKING TEAM NAME OUT LOUD IS SO LONG IM GONNA BE SICK?????
"im kinda bad at communication" "well thats one thing that hasnt changed"
"last time i followed you down a hole i died"
WHERE AM I. WHAT YEAR IS IT. HELLO???? CAN ANYONE HEAR MY. WHY AM I BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING
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"im kinda bad at communication" "well thats one thing that hasnt changed"
"last time i followed you down a hole i died"
WHERE AM I. WHAT YEAR IS IT. HELLO???? CAN ANYONE HEAR MY. WHY AM I BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING
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Bitches be like ‘I’m so tired and sleepy’ and then stay up doing hyperfixtation shit for the next 5 hours
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Derap is definitely bending the narrative and making Mapicc sound worse than he is but tbh I'm glad someone's finally pointing out how dogshit of a teammate Mapicc is. likes he's being petty about it but he's right 😭
I know everyone here is a devotion duo-er until they die but let's be real. im all for supporting mapicc's wrongs, but I see a lot of ppl talking as if he's NOT wrong. dude. he brought this fate upon himself by. checks notes:
asking zam if we was okay with it, agreed to follow a condition, and then didn't follow that condition and then ALSO added a bunch of rules he knew zam would hate, and then ALSO got pissy when zam chose to not engage and just let mapicc do his own thing, and now is constantly looking for any reason to get into a fight with zaun. my brother in christ. you can't establish a dictatorship that goes directly against everything your "teammate" stands for and then get mad when he doesn't fw it. you brought 60+ wardens to spawn, boy. there's no world where this bit isn't just shooting yourself and also zam in the foot and then getting mad when he won't drag you around anyways
#lifesteal smp#mapicc neg#< tagging this bc. yeah#whole thing kinda neg tbh#the devotion bias on here is genuinely stifiling sometimes#sorry lsblr nation i hope u can forgive me for this one#lifesteal spoilers
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oh interesting! i did not think of it that way. yeah i dunno, i think its too early to tell exactly whats going on but there is definitely an unfortunate repeating pattern at this point. i hope derapchu locks in and realizes/stops doing that because hes shown he has potential to be an awesome teammate. they mean so much to me id be devastated if they fell apart just bc derap cant get his shit together
its crazy i really strongly do think derapchu isnt doing it on purpose. like he IS being weird and biased and forcing zam to choose between himself and mapicc is CRINGE especially when zam's made it very clear that mapicc is a relationship he wants to maintain. derap's had a kind of sus way of presenting himself since the trust trials! those were weird! this guy has some red flags!
maybe im biased bc i am number one team atlas/zamchu defender always but i really dont think hes being intentionally, like. i dont know how to say it. intentionally pushy, maybe? i really do think it comes from his own insecurities just manifesting as being weirdly clingy and wanting to make himself come off in the best light possible in all situations. which is why all his recountings of events are true, yes, but so strangely worded, and why he always makes zam give his opinion on something before giving him any information.
i dunno if im wording this in the best way. shrug! i think its very clear he cares about zam more than anything else, but i do think that fact might be lightly self-sabotaging. still love them tho
i think hes bbeing manipulative sorry, manipulation doesnt always come with evil intent or with the explicit intent to manipulate someone and you may be right that it comes from insecurity but it doesnt change the fact that he very clearly keeps trying to make zam choose choices that he wants him to, like hes trying to control him but with a soft hand cause he knows forcing him wont work
#its a pet peeve of mine when ppl say that manipulation only comes from bad intent or is 100% purposeful#or that ot only comes in the form of lying cause thats just straight up not tru#coming from someone who manipulates ppl with the truth#manipulation is someone trying to influence someone else into behaving how they want with no regard for what the other wants#which could be a good thing cause sometimes someone is trying to manipulate someone out of a self-destructive spiral#but that doesnt change the fact its manipulation#< prev tags#i see what ur saying#good intent doesnt equal good actions we know that#crossing my fingers for them
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derapchu bestie i forgive you for everything always but your crippling abandonment issues are showing. can you lock in
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why is derap acting like he didnt hear everything in the stream lmao
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“I don’t want to be a burden” you’re more like a relief, a gift, a blessing actually
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from what i can tell this guy got in a serious accident while tryna clean his teeth
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whatever. like its whatever i dont even care about them. it's fine
#lifesteal smp#sunkissed duo#lsshipping#< i guess? vaguely romantic implications#lifesteal fanart#karma kraft things
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