doomgendr

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i love when pathetic men are covered in blood like water to a wet dog

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I LOVE WOMEN!!!!!!!

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what a day to have eyes

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severance - forget her

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some GTA-related images i made in a span of two months worth of hyperfixation

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i thought you were gay why do you like boobs

Just shut up. Please. Let me be.

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dutch van der linde, with 20+ years of repression and yearning in his eyes

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the trio of Normal Corporations (which, given the state of things, actually are normal💀)

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Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

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I have a proposition for a bi-lesbian symbol, and it's the Lilith symbol "⚸". Here's why.

(under the cut)

my first thought when i saw the symbol of Lilith, was that it's a mix between the double venus ( ⚢ ) and the double crescent ( ☽☾ ) symbol. therefore...

☽☾+⚢ = ⚸ !

i've always known about the tale of Lilith and how she was cast away to flee the garden of eden in many a religious myth, and the reasoning behind her being "turned into a demon".

she is a symbol of rugged feminine strength, self-protection, and assertiveness. in many myths, she "disobeyed" adam (fought back against abuse/sexual assault and would not submit) and was banished from the garden of eden to become a "she-demon".

i believe that her story feels somewhat similar to how we as bi-lesbians are treated and percieved in our communities and throughout history, measured in worth by our proximity to men, sexualized, fetishized, cast out to make our own spaces, violently hated, threatened, abused, harrassed, demonized, and seen as harmful just by existing and asserting ourselves, even though we aren't "harmful". we're just people asserting our equality like lilith "was".

this is precisely why i decided that her symbol symbolizes us as bisexual lesbians! i hope people pick up my idea, i put a lot of thought and effort into it :)

⚸⚸⚸

-kaz

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I cannot be more crystal clear about this: Hatred against Two-Spirit folks isn't just homophobia/transphobia. It is also racism. 2S identities are part of Indigenous cultures. 2S identities are intrinsically linked to Indigenous identities. Refusal to accept the validity of 2S identities is racist. TERFs are racist.

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i need to start a tag for videos that make me cry with joy

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reminder that indigenous queer folks do not need to fit your colonial definitions or conceptions of queerness in order to be valid, worthy, and spectacular.

if your concept of what a lesbian looks like requires that all lesbians have shaved or short hair, then you’re excluding ntv lesbians who honour our ancestors by growing our hair long.

i’m no less of a butch for having hair that goes down to my tailbone. i’m no less of a butch for wearing my hair in a braid. i’m also still butch when i wear beaded earrings, a ribbon skirt, and moccasins.

if your idea of queerness is tied to whiteness, that’s just a shame. indigeneity and queerness go together like inhaling and exhaling. one cannot exist without the other.

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the post: everything has a right to exist in fiction, even if it's fucked up

the comments: i was going to reblog this until i realized op likes fucked up stuff in fiction. this is a common dogwhistle phrase for people who like fucked up stuff in fiction. they have to talk in code to trick people into agreeing with them. stay safe out there!

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"a sith wanting an acolyte is an abusive power dynamic"

have you considered that it's hot? look at them

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I've been seeing a disturbing number of "queer safe spaces" describe themselves as things like "femme & them" and even worse "she+," conflating femininity & nonbinaryhood. cease this immediately. say it with me: nonbinary people are NOT women-lite and it is extremely violent and straight up incorrect to imply that all they/thems are fem adjacent. this is erasure and this verbiage does nothing but make gnc and nonbinary spaces unsafe for masc and male nonbinary people. nonbinary, genderqueer and other third gender people can be and are masculine and men, we can be hes as well as shes and theys, stop allowing yourself and your peers to view nonbinary as woman/femme-lite, signed a butch nonbinary person.