dontyoudarebitch

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WE WANT THE AUDIO

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Rio: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you

Agatha: 10 times 0 is still 0 though

Rio: Jokes on you, I can't do math

[dontyoudarebitch]

Earthly and Divine

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It was a good year to be into women & lesbianism 😌🫶

(1) Agatha & Rio (Agatha All Along) 😭🕺🪩Not the doomed yuri though!

(2) Vi & Caitlyn (Arcane) 😏 the infamous prison cell sesbian lex scene and the Vi pit fighter look. Arcane served. Girl dinner! Girl dinner!!! 😶‍🌫️

(3) Emily Armstrong (Linkin Park) ❤️🧡🤍🩷 in the Two Faced music video. In a suit!!!

(4) Lady Gaga in the Disease music video as the damsel and the eldritch horror and fighting herself chained to the ceiling ⛓️🥴

(5) Taylor Swift, Vigilante Shit performance at the Eras Tour Google, how do I become a chair? 🪑 Down bad! Down horrendous!!! 😍

(6) Chapell Roan performing in full armor at the VMAs + the sword with the red carpet look 🥵⚔️

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Alice: Agatha when did you know you were gay?

Agatha: when? Please! I was born a man hating lesbian, why would I lower my standards like that?

Alice rolling her eyes: Anyway I jut wondered because…because I think i am

Agatha: You think? Alice my little firecracker I’ve seen you make heart eyes at Jen for 3 days now, following her around like a lost puppy, you’re definitely gay

Rio popping up behind Agatha: Are we talking about how gay you are my love?

Agatha: Not today no, Alice here is in love with Jen

Rio: Ooohh I’m glad you’ve finally caught up with the rest of us, do you want sex advice? I’m full of it

Agatha: You’re full of something, definitely not sex advice, anyway Alice, Jen is a tough nut to crack trust me I cracked it about 100 years ago, but i think she has a soft spot for you so just go up to her and kiss her!

Rio: And if she doesn’t reciprocate stab her and tell her it was prank

Agatha nodding: Correct, that’s how you get a woman

Alice:…I think I’ll go to Lilia for advice actually *walks off*

Agatha: I thought our advice was pretty good

Rio: it would work on me

Agatha: it did work on you

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Just imagine, when Agatha died, in Rio's head she was saying "I want more time" just like how Agatha said it when she lost Nicky 😕

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*At some point when they’re first together, probably*

Rio: Agatha, when’s your birthday?

Agatha: Why? So you can look up my natal chart? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me?

Rio: …So I know when to wish you a happy birthday.

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you gay? 🫵🏻

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Rio: What is your biggest weakness?

Agatha: I can be uncooperative.

Rio: Okay, can you give me an example?

Agatha: No.

[dontyoudarebitch]

nobody can convince me that agatha and rio wouldn't have had more children had nicky not died, had Death been allowed to have living, semi-mortal children. They only lasted like 50 years before their eldest was born. They would have continued to make more babies for the next three hundred and beyond. Every time one of their children is old enough to basically fend for theirself, Agatha feels that longing for a baby and Rio can't deny her.

It takes three or four kids before Agatha has a kid that looks as much like her as Nicky looks like Rio. When this child, Mari (short for Mariposa), reaches adulthood, she develops that same little gap between her teeth (in modern times, she would have gotten braces, but she was born in the late 1700's okay, give her a break) so she does look somewhat like Rio, but she has bright blue eyes and her hair curls like Agatha's. She also has a similar power set to Agatha, which Agatha fosters as much as she could because nobody ever did that for her.

By modern day, they probably have about twenty kids, the youngest of which is still small enough to carry as they move into Westview, acting like a modern lesbian couple. They are single-handedly repopulating the witch community that Agatha killed off.

But they're happy and in love. All their children are pretty well-adjusted. Nicky still has a big heart. He's probably a doctor somewhere, moving around when people start to question why he doesn't age - at least until Eternals are accepted and superheroes just become more commonplace. Nobody questions why he looks like he's thirty-five when he should be closer to his seventies (nobody knows what his true age is) and he still visits his mothers. Due to the nature of his job, he doesn't always appreciate when Rio visits him at work.

Three of their children train as Reapers with Rio. The rest are scattered around the world, living their lives, but they always call their mothers, or they visit with their own partners and children.

The youngest three are juveniles, so they live with their mothers in the suburbs. They're as mischievous as Rio, causing havoc wherever they go, but they're studious, too, like Agatha, so they get good grades and do well in their magic studies.

When Wanda tries to start her bullshit, Agatha stops her, putting a pin in her grief. Instead of draining her power, she becomes a kind of mentor to Wanda. This Agatha never lost her son, but she does have a shit ton of trauma from her youth resulting from her own coven just refusing to teach her, and she recognizes Wanda as another untrained witch. So she trains her. She teaches her how to use the powers that she's familiar with. She gathers other witches (Lilia, Alice, Jen) to help her where they can. They converse with Stephen Strange on how to best help Wanda in her grief and magic.

I really wish Agatha's What If...? episode had been "What if Agatha had never lost her son?" rather than the Hollywood episode. Don't get me wrong: it was a fun fucking episode. But I just wish we'd seen more of Agatha being happy with her family.

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Rio: We’re gonna fuck in a closet?

Agatha: The irony hasn’t escaped me.

[dontyoudarebitch]

agathario but it's a cowboy!au where agatha hires rio to work at her ranch and rio's a sexy annoying little shit (they want each other so bad and occasionally have hate sex until they inevitably fall in love)

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There is no straight explanation for this scene

Galinda, what are you doing? Stop. No.

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love thinking about how wicked is fr just the college au fanfic that made it

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Chapter 8 - 9

Bathroom adventures

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Heartstopper updates three times a month, on the 1st, 11th, and 21st at 11am UK time.