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🦔 📸  🤠 Dallas Photographer Bekah: funny storytime 🧀 nightmare + how can we overcome religious trauma? (021)

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Co-Host: Rebekah Hedges @bekahthehedgephoto | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

🎙 Need another show to binge? Bekah’s Podcast — Sister Sibs

🏡 meet 2 new friends a month! + 👋🏼 Come Say Hi! @dontbestrangers

Hello and welcome to episode 21 of Don’t Be Strangers, your community for making friends via deep and soulful conversations. **I’m your host XinYi, and if you’ve ever had the curiosity of co-hosting a podcast episode, then here’s your chance! There are absolutely no requirements other than a willingness to share your time and thoughts. The application is always opened to you and all you have to do to prepare is come up with 5 questions of your choosing for me and I’ll do the same for you! Or, if you’d rather plug into the community and meet 2 new friends a month, our Club is always open for sign ups. Find all the information on instragram @dontbestrangers!

Today we’re speaking with my very dear friend Bekah whom is a full-time Dallas based photographer who has lived all over the globe. We actually loosely knew of each other from going to the same high-school but didn’t really connect and become closer friends until well after college. That’s to say, you simply never know! Bekah has one of the most open and instantaneously infectious warmth that makes it hard to not want to be her friend. In this conversation we get really real and really deep while keeping everything very light hearted. We chat about...

Bekah’s weird reoccurring cheesy fingers childhood nightmare and what does it mean?

Her current journey through reconstructing what spirituality and faith means to her thanks to religious trauma

Advice we would give our younger selves

Our current phase in life

Our thoughts on the idea of “Stranger Danger”

There is one mention about suicide so I’ll just give you this heads up, but with that... please meet Bekah.

 Timestamps

1. Is there a particular goal that once you achieve you'll feel like you've 'made it'? (2:02)

“After taking my business full time, I think it’s easy to equate success with what you do for work, like what’s the next achievement? And so I feel like I would like to redefine my definition of success.”

Hypnotheraphy + RTT

“I think too… this idea that our value comes from our productivity, and kinda reframing that idea that simply your existence is worth inherent value.”

2. What phase of your life would you say you’re currently going through? / What would you title this chapter of life? (10:47)

“Within a span of 5 years, I’ve moved 4 times?”

Re-deconstructing spirituality and faith

Moving out of the bible belt? / Van life?

How do you find shoots elsewhere?

I have such a soft spot for Memphis. It’s one of the places where I healed the most during that time there. I think it has a lot to do with the community I found out there. (14:20)

3. Context for these 4 places you’ve lived in the past 5 years? (15:00)

I’m trying to get out of my parent’s house, I don’t care what it takes.

AIESEC is an international youth-run, non-governmental and not-for-profit organization that provides young people with leadership development, cross-cultural internships, and global volunteer exchange experiences.

“I’ve never realized how language learning is such a skill… but I do think that it’s like the biggest bridge builder in how you can inter-relate and understand culture.”

4. Was there a life event that shaped or changed you are as a person by building your character? (20:03)

“You should think about existential things!!”

5. Do you mind sharing your journey with spirituality? (24:00)

Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation by Kristin Kobes Du Mez

Universalism

“And I’ve always been someone who had just has this hunger for understanding people who are different than me. When I think of my friend group, I usually befriend people who are unlike me or opposite of me as opposed to people more like me.”

I have so much respect and awe for other practices and other religions.

How much was I conditioned to believe… and how much is what I actually think?

(26:02) There’s a lot of racism and homophobia… and that’s the part that’s never sat well with me.

I still think that the bible itself has a lot of virtue…

Religious trauma is real.

I never realized how entrenched my upbringing was in that respect.

6. What is something you wish you could have told baby ShinYi back in the day? (28:30)

If you weren’t studios or didn’t make good grades then that’s like very marked of your ability to human… which is horrible.

Live Fast Die Young

“Live slow, die old.”

“Good things take time, and sometimes, they take a lot of time. And if you don’t live long enough to reap the results of that time needing to marinate whatever it is… like you die before that can manifest, then that’s kinda sad!”

7. What’s your ancestry? How long did your grandparents live? (34:08)

Oura ring

Dream Theories???

Weird reoccurring nightmare as a child

I’m spidermanning up this skyscrapper… (36:48)

8. What are your favorite dishes to cook? (39:03)

“My go to is a classic pasta dish…”

“I make a pretty good fried chicken, I ain’t gonna lie. But maybe that’s just the Southern in me?”

But I’m a garlic person. Throw garlic in anything… let’s go!! (42:10)

9. How do you define a stranger and at what point do they transition from being one to not being one? (42:35)

“I feel like I have the face that just says… ‘tell me your life story.’” (42:45)

“Do total strangers really exist? We’re all interconnected by different things.”

I love making a safe space for people. I think because of my life experiences, that’s paramount.

It’s like a gift and a curse, too. I’ve realized that too… it’s that acknowledgement of, “this person needs to be heard” and I should feel lucky that they feel safe to share that and I can hold space for that. (46:20)

46:38 — What’s your most interesting story about this?

10. What’s your thought on Stranger Danger? (54:00)

We are all beautiful in different ways, and our uniqueness are opportunities to connect as opposed to something to divide us.

 Thanks so much Bekah for reminding me why I do this. I think I mentioned my creative funk in the last episode but I’m still working on pushing through it so that I can continue spreading this message. If you wanna chat with Bekah yourself, you can find her on instagram @bekahthehedgephoto which is also where you can see her beautiful photographs as well as some just-for-fun creative shoots we’ve collaborated on. She recently dropped our paparazzi shoot concept photos of my husband and me which was inspired by rumors going around that we were dating. But also, if you know of anyone in Dallas who needs photos, please consider passing her information along. Being an entrepreneur is no easy feat and all connections are a blessing!

As for how you can reach me and plug in with the community, check out @dontbestrangers on instagram. The monthly sign-ups for our Club is always open to you if you would like to personally get in touch with 2 new friends within the group. There are some exciting changes dropping very soon with the Club, so I’d love to have you in on the ride!!

Voice Vlogs entry no. 7, today is Tuesday April 12, 2022. Since this conversation with Bekah, I’ve indeed had my hypnotherapy/RTT session. It’s been about a week since my session and I haven’t felt a drastic change quite yet but I heard from the therapist that typically results become apparent on day 10-14. So I’m just trusting the process. I’ve also asked her to come onto the podcast for a conversation so that’s already in the works!

Now that I’ve been back in Dallas for more than a week after almost 3 months in Mexico City, I really do miss the accessibility of being able to walk everywhere in the city. Also the price of coffee there... wow... you can buy 2-3 coffees there for the price of one drink over here.

But this past weekend I re-connected with all my friends in one giant Clothes Swap event (which I typically host one either before I leave for an extended trip or right after I get back) and it reminded me how grateful I am to be home as well. As we speak, I’m wearing this beautiful fluffy and very comfy picnic cloth summer dress that I picked up during the swap — thanks Mariko! These clothes swaps are such a great way to change up my closet without spending a dime!

If you’ve stuck around to this point, I’ll go ahead and drop some exciting new changes for the Club that’s coming in May! One of which is that we’re moving off of the digital pen pal format to Discord while keeping the option for those in the Club to write back and forth in long-form text format within Discord but adding the option for everyone to do calls if their preferred method of connecting is via real-time conversations! I’m also hoping with the move to Discord that it’ll be a easier to host events over the voice and video channels in the future! If you’re interested, follow us on instagram @dontbestrangers to find all the info you need! Until next time, don’t be a stranger!

[dontbestrangers]

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006: w/ my creative chimera sister Elan 🐯💮🍈 neuroscientist turned designer + asking: overcoming imposter syndrome?

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Co-Host: Elan @lano.illo | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

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Hey! You're listening to episode 6 of Don't Be Strangers, a podcast and social experiment for learning to create meaningful connections together via collaborative conversations! I'm your host XinYi and in this episode, we're chatting with my creative chimera sister Elan who describes herself as a life enthusiast and lover of colors. We had rainchecked the recording of this episode at least 2 times due to travel and moving schedules, so I'm so grateful we finally made it happen.

I was personally really ecstatic about this conversation because I met Elan through instagram after a mutual friend of ours, Amy, featured her. Her art, poster design skills, intuition for pop color palettes, and illustration skills are to be envied. When I reached out to ask for an art collaboration, I had no idea it would lead to recording this podcast episode together. So albeit this isn't the first time we've communicated, it was definitely the first time I spoke to her in real time and over video. And we talked a lot.. like for almost 3 hours straight. So yeah, I have a lot of editing ahead of me. Highlights of our upcoming chat includes (1) how she pivoted from studying neuroscience to a career in design, fresh out of school (2) my favorite sensory experiences that make life colorful such as scents, visuals, textures, etc. (3) if Elan was a secondary character, who would she pick to be the protagonist? (4) a potential method for overcoming imposter syndrome and (5) what quarantine revealed about her friendships and long distance relationship.

Timestamps

01:52 - I just think of myself as a life enthusiast.

02:16 - I like to sample from diverse experiences, whether that be different people, different cultures…

02:59 - Claire of episode 004: w/ Berlin-based photographer Claire P.** 🧡🌸🌿 from meeting on YouTube to hanging in NYC, Dallas, and Dublin + asking: can I see myself as an engineer for the rest of my life?

03:19 - Elan guesses my profession

05:28 - Q Xinyi to Elan: How did you go from neuroscience to design?

06:14 - When you spend time in college for 4 years, your worth feels how good your grades are.

06:44 - So I think in a sense, art and design kind of saved me.

08:35 -

https://theinturnship.com

09:54 - I hate the phrase “self-taught” mainly because I feel like the internet is such a rich resource..

10:33 - If you’re even remotely interested in any topic, and you have a working wifi connection and the privilege to spend time working on something… you could probably do it.

10:39 - Q Elan to Xinyi: What are some of your favorite sensory experiences that make colorful for you? Like favorite scents, textures, sounds, visuals, etc.?

14:33 - I love knowing what sensory stimulations a person really enjoys, cause I feel like it’s really descriptive of who someone is as a person.

14:55 - Q Xinyi to Elan: If you were the secondary character, who would be the protagonist?

16:39 - Q Elan to Xinyi: If there is one thing you could know for certain about your future, what would it be?

19:47 - It would be amazing to know that if there’s a time and place where something you love and value and would love to delve into is something that the world would actually embrace for a sustainable amount of time.

20:42 - Q Xinyi to Elan: What did quarantine reveal about your friendships and friend groups?

21:25 - Quarantine solidified that I could totally be a words of affirmation person through and through.

24:04 - I just found that physical separation did not weaken my relationship with people

24:16 - I learned to value just looking forward to hearing someone’s voice…

24:32 - Another love language of mine is sending memes to each other… like that’s a real love language. I love receiving things that my friends know will make me laugh and doing the same thing back.

24:45 - I feel like humor just unlocks a lot of different dimensions of a person.

26:02 - When I first got my phone and… the novelty of just having a device that you can use to instantly connect with anyone, just makes you think that you’re supposed to be doing that all the time.

27:18 - Q Elan to Xinyi: What are the biggest inspo for your art?

28:14 - What is a Creative Chimera?

29:37 - Abhas ( https://www.instagram.com/abhasmisraraj/ )

29:44 - Creative Chimera’s Club > https://www.instagram.com/creativechimeras.club/

30:30 - I think a lot of people have the tendency to be like… omg, I’m such an outlier…

32:21 - Q Elan to Xinyi: With the way you chase novelty have you, have you ever wondered to yourself where you’ll be in a few years?

32:52 - Well, I still feel like an imposter but I have a lot more confidence in Googling things…

32:58 - I have confidence in my ability to figure it out!

33:35 - The core meaning of intelligence or skill

33:50 - I don’t think it means having the literal ability to execute something from the mind, then and there. It’s more like, when you have an end result in mind, how are you able to acquire the resources needed to help you get to that end product?

34:36 - You knowing it and being able to do it without consulting the internet is basically a product of experience. You have to start somewhere.

35:12 - Q Xinyi to Elan: How do you define a stranger and at what point do they go from being one to not being one?

38:49 - Q Elan to Xinyi: Does acquaintance sit closer to the side of a stranger or a friend?

41:20 - If the cards fall correctly, you would care to get to know this person better.

42:13 - I define it more of a mental state because technically, when you ask someone, “What is that person to you?” You have a choice to… bestow some title to them.

43:20 - Vignette of Curtis the hobo from a Starbucks in Salt Lake City

47:43 - A lot of the wisest people are just people who observe.

48:10 - He’s honestly probably far happier than people who a lot more material goods than him.

49:30 - I love that you highlighted that we’re given a choice because I feel like this is true not just in regards to our relationships but just everything in life… that we have the choice to perceive any situation in any way we want.

50:28 - Stress and anger are the two worst things that you can put your body through and will genuinely shorten your life, but the most powerful agent against negativity, sadness, depression, stress, anger is gratitude. You notice they’re not saying happiness, right? Everyone thinks that happiness is the opposite of sadness… but gratitude is a much more dimensional… state of mind.

51:54 - Q Xinyi to Elan: What are you grateful for?

52:27 - I think there’s a lot of hesitance for many people to make connections with others that they don’t think they’ll ever physically see.

53:13 - Q Elan to Xinyi: What are you grateful for?

53:26 - Kimi ( https://www.instagram.com/_imik/ )

54:26 - Humanity is amazing and people are so cool— that’s why I always try to reach out, that’s why I always try to talk to people because there’s so much to be learned from you… I don’t know what it is yet, but I want to meet you… I want to talk to you. (Yes, you.)

Man, it's conversations like these that makes my heart ache for the existence of teleportation. Like why don't we live closer? But in any case, how would you answer some of the questions that Elan proposed to me? Feel free to shoot a dm or leave a public comment and start a community thread @dontbestrangers on instagram! And don't forget, anyone of any background can apply to come on to chat. Or if you know anyone who appreciates deep conversations or loves making friends, you should totally consider introducing us!

I'll link Elan's art in the show notes, but you can also directly connect with her on instagram via @lano.illo! Or if you want a personal introduction, just reach out, and don't be a stranger! Let's speak again soon.

[dontbestrangers]

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w/ Wifi Tribe host Joe 🌍✍🏼🏳️‍🌈 the magic of journaling + asking: is anything truly frivolous or pointless? (008)

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Co-Host: Joe Santini @savagesantini | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

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Annnd we're back with episode 8 of Don't be Strangers. My name's XinYi and this is a series of collaborative conversations that focuses on sharing and learning about alternative ways to create agency in your life while manifesting deeper connections with everyone you meet. So in the last few episodes, I've mentioned that I would be doing an extended stay in Mexico for 2.5 months... well I'm recording this on my very last week of the first leg of my trip in the beautiful city of Oaxaca. And this episode is extra special because the guest is the host of our little coworking nomad group here.

This is the first time that I've ever joined a coworking nomad group and I could not have imagined a more empathetic, fun-loving, open minded, and caring host as Joe. This experience definitely wouldn't have been the same without him and you're about to find out why... We cover topics such as the (1) magic of journaling: how it's helped him capture experiences such that he can essentially time travel into his own memories, recognize patterns and behaviors, and overcoming a break up, (2) is anything truly frivolous or pointless?, (3) fomo (AKA the fear of missing out) and how it plays into travel, (4) a memoir he's currently writing, and (5) advice my future self would give me today. So this is Joe...

Timestamps

01:10 - Joe's personal intro

01:32 - Wifi Tribe

03:50 - Q Joe to XinYi: Over the weekend you wrote everybody little welcome/appreciation notes for their doors. What sparked this?

07:38 - Q XinYi to Joe: Knowing that you're a huge advocate for journaling, what are some of the most powerful experiences and revelations you've come to through journaling?

11:03 - Q XinYi to Joe: How often do you review your journals?

12:00 - Q Joe to XinYi: What is something you do that feels completely frivolous or pointless that brings you a lot of joy?

14:15 - XinYi's Excerpt: 📸 a love story about photography

19:41 - Joe: I think it’s very brave to admit you’re not a foodie.

21:53 - Joe's Mantra: "When your choices are rooted in your spirit, your experiences only propel you towards what is meant for you."

22:20 - XinYi's daily routine in Oaxaca, Mexico

25:22 - Q XinYi to Joe: Besides your memoir, what are some large scale projects you've taken on or want to take on that you think would be extremely fulfilling for you. Why? What about these projects ignites you the most?

29:57 - Priya Parker’s The Art of Gathering: How We Meet And Why It Matters

30:42 - Q Joe to XinYi: What is something you've learned this year that nobody told you?

33:02 - XinYi's word of 2021: Movement

33:41 - Q Joe to XinYi: knowing what you know about being a nomad now, does it make sense that Chicago is a nomad city?

35:42 - Q XinYi to Joe: What is the most thoughtful gift you've ever received? What is the most thoughtful gift you've ever given?

38:41 - XinYi's best gifts she's received

41:10 - Impermanence and Non-attachment

42:21 - Q Joe to XinYi: Journal Prompt - Pretend it's 2026 and you're writing a letter to yourself right now in 2021. What three things would you make sure to include? Be specific!

44:31 - Tim Ferris Show ft. Remit Sethi Ep #524: Ramit Sethi — How to Play Offense with Money, Plan Bucket Lists, Build a Rich Life with Your Partner, and Take a Powerful $100 Challenge

44:39 - Remit Sethi Podcast: I will Teach You To Be Rich

45:59 - XinYi: I always want to challenge myself... like, what am I missing? What have I not considered? And that's why I love meeting and talking with strangers and friends because you old information that my mind has not even accessed. We just need to ask the right questions.

47:07 - “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” — Bill Gates

48:31 - Q XinYi to Joe: How do you define a stranger and at what point do they transition from being one to not being one?

54:27 - Joe: I’ve been so inspired by the female experience, especially in the 21st century in which like women have to be able to communicate with one another in full sentences just through glances.

55:33 - Joe: Parasocial relationships — there's definitely some podcasters that I listen to, that I'm like "these are some of my best friends and they don't know I exist and I think that's ok!"

So before I forget, I mentioned something something about an extension to the podcast project involving handwritten notes. I have always wanted to facilitate a pen pal community of some sort so... so I'm in the middle of manifesting it. The differentiator between this pen pal community and others out there is that you'll receive a monthly postcard designed by me with a thought-provoking prompt inspired by one of the episodes on this podcast, you'll fill out that postcard and forward it to someone in the group. In this way, it's not a huge time commitment because the postcard will limit the amount you write (although you can certainly write more if you'd like), the nature of the project naturally vets for and connects you with people who you already know are into interesting conversation topics because they like such prompts/this podcast, and to top it all off you get monthly designs and a handwritten card. This is still a work in progress but I'd love love love to hear what your thoughts are.

Speaking of which, feedback, comments, and discussions always welcomed in this community. Free to shoot a dm or leave a public comment and start a thread @dontbestrangers on instagram! As anyone of any background can apply to come on to co-host an ep, this is my invitation to you to consider applying! Or if you know anyone who appreciates deep conversations or loves making friends, you should consider nominating them to come on the show!

Thank you again Joe for making my experience in Oaxaca so absolutely memorable and I'm excited to see you again in Playa del Carmen. If you'd like to get in touch with him to discuss more about journaling best practices or dig a bit into any of the topics we touched, you can find his contact linked in the show notes or on instagram at @savagesantini! Or if you want a personal introduction, remember that you can always just reach out, and don't be a stranger! Let's talk again soon. ✨

[dontbestrangers]

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002: w/ Arty Braud 🛋🎨📸 interior designer, painter, photographer and nomad + asking: are we actually insane???

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Co-Host: Arty Braud @artybraud | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

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Hi, I hope that you're having a good day and I want to thank you for making me/us part of your day? This is episode 2 of Don't Be Strangers, a podcast and social experiment for learning to create meaningful connections together via collaborative conversations! The way this works is that anyone of any background can apply to come on and chat with me about anything they want. The goal is to raise awareness of social isolation and to narrow the gap between all of us as humans. Today, I'm talking with my friend Arty (I hope it's ok that I call you that if you're listening, because he told me that only his close friends call him that but... LOL). I got some feedback from episode one and people were insisting on an introduction of some sort of the co-host, so I'm going to be super extra and not only introduce him from my point of view, but also ask him to introduce himself!

So, I met Arty in Chicago May of 2021 (so pretty recently if you're listening in real time) via this FB group called Asian Creative Network. I was spending 5 weeks out there which is pretty long for a nomad like me so I felt like I needed to establish some friendships so... I just searched the term "Chicago" in said FB group and dm'd anyone who had ever mentioned Chicago in a post or comment up to 3 years back asking for local recommendations as I'd just moved to town. So yeah, that's how Arty & I started speaking and we've only met twice in person and today's conversation will actually be the 3rd time we've ever talked and we cover a lot. It was really apparent to me from our first meet up which was an urban hike through the Boystown neighborhood that took upwards of 2-3 hours, and I was so intrigued because he's a multi-disciplinary artist who does it all, has a free nomadic soul that I completely relate to, and thinks about things profoundly. Highlights of this upcoming conversation includes (1) an analogy of why it isn't healthy to draw all your energy from one thing or hobby similar to how you shouldn't depend solely on one person, (2) upcoming travel plans to California and an extended work from home situation in Mexico, (3) Arty's potential future business plan for a creative space in Chicago, (4) my top cities I've traveled to and what is the commonality between them, and (5) are we actually insane? I'll include all the timestamps and more in the show notes and if I've piqued your interest... here's Arty, introducing himself...

Questions & Highlights [ Timestamp Index ]

00:51 - Xinyi’s intro of Arty

02:28 - Arty’s personal intro

02:45 - Q Xinyi asks: What is your medium of preference as a multidisciplinary artist?

03:54 - Arty: “You can’t get all your energy from one person. Each relationship from a different person gives you a different value… Which is why it’s probably unhealthy to focus all your attention on one.”

06:18 - Xinyi: “I don’t think I’ve ever thought of that concept applied to my arts or hobbies!”

06:42 - Q Xinyi asks: How do you balance your time across all your art outlets?

07:09 - Arty: “Society insists that we can only focus or be good at one thing.”

09:20 - Q Xinyi asks: Are you generally pretty good at keeping your own commitments?

10:24 - Q Arty asks: Are you good at balancing your time?

12:52 - Arty’s solution to filling your free time when you have so many interests and want to do everything!

14:40 - Arty: “He’s been painting for 8 years!! How does he still have the motivation to keep painting?!”

Book Rec: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield

16:19 - Q Arty asks: Do you find that creating a schedule for yourself is beneficial?

17:06 - Q Xinyi asks: Do you feel like chasing productivity is detrimental to your mental health?

18:22 - Q Arty asks: Do you feel like chasing productivity is detrimental to your mental health?

18:49 - Xinyi: “I don’t necessarily think that productivity equals happiness. Chasing perfectionism just leaves you feeling unhappy all the time.”

19:29 - Arty: “Traveling to gain perspective and to learn to enjoy your time”

20:18 - Q Xinyi asks: where are you going in September?!

24:41 - Q Arty asks: You’re going to Mexico for 2.5 months??

Remote Year & WifiTribe

Lingoda for language learning (Spanish, French, English, German)

39:34 - Q Xinyi asks: what is this potential business plan you have?

45:34 - Arty: “I want to be able to provide a place where people can talk creatively. And feel creative and feel themselves.”

48:04 - Q Arty asks: Top places you’ve visited and what is the commonality between them?

55:37 - Xinyi: “The commonality is that while all these places are foreign to me to some extent, made me feel at home.”

58:17 - Q Arty asks: Given these cities are such diverse selections — can you pinpoint why they give you the feeling of home?

60:39 - Q Arty asks: Do you think the time spent in a city or the cultural context influences your ability to establish a routine?

62:02 - Q Xinyi asks: How do you define a stranger and at what point do they transition from being one to not?

63:34 - Arty: “I think it’ll always be an internal feeling of comfort…I could be an acquaintance with someone in 10 mins, where I could be strangers with someone I’ve known for years or months…Disclaimer: how you perceive someone can always be inaccurate.”

67:37 - Arty: “I do think though through art and other forms of communication, you are able to feel more deeply connected to someone where you don’t necessarily need to meet them.”

68:12 - Arty: “And I guess these tacked on labels of strangers, acquaintance, friend, good friend…they don’t undermine or establish the possible connection you could have with someone. I think in technicalities because words are so technical, there’s how we feel, connections of how we feel, and labels of how we feel.”

74:13 - Arty: “I feel like you can be deeply connected to someone who is just a stranger, and you can feel honestly not connected at all with someone who you’ve been friends with for 5 years.”

75:02 - Xinyi: “I love that you got so meta. That’s what we actually feel vs our language (which is just a tool) and an abstraction of our feelings and hence may not actually accurately portray how we feel…”

76:29 - Arty: “I feel like there is a negative connotation when it comes to that word ‘stranger danger’”

76:57 - Arty: “I think within strangers or people we don’t know we see a part of ourselves in them… And then of course there are the ones who are the ‘stranger dangers’…”

79:51 - “Everything is always based on what we see… which could be close to reality or really removed from reality”

80:07 - Arty: “We all have comfort knowing that we’re sane…”

81:30 - Q Arty asks: What inspired opening the podcast and what are your goals?

I am always so inspired when I meet people like Arty because they're just brimming with life and possibilities. As always, I'd love to hear if you had any thoughts on anything we touched on in the conversation. Please feel free to shoot a dm or leave a public comment and start a community thread @dontbestrangers on instagram! I will also link all of his socials in the show notes and associated instagram posts (if you want to reach out to him yourself) or I can always also totally make an introduction. Just reach out and don't be strangers.

Just as a reminder, anyone can apply to co-host an episode and if you were so gracious, I would love to hear your feedback or if you know anyone who is also passionate about making friends and community building, I would be floored if you said hi and/or even helped to make a few introductions. Thank you for being who you are and I just want to let you know that you make a positive impact on this world no matter how small it is, I promise you that you've most definitely changed someone's life. Until next time... let's talk again soon.

[dontbestrangers]

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💵 📈 🧗🏻‍♀️personal finance enthusiast (& stranger!) Chloe - overcoming disappointment + should you join the 5AM club? (020)

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Co-Host: Chloe Choe @offhourhustle  | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

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Time to Kill, Binge Listen Maybe? 🥺 LAST EPISODE: 🌌🐇🇦🇪 creative chimera (stranger! from Dubai) Noor on going down rabbit holes + asking: what does it mean to travel? (019)

Welcome to episode 20 of Don’t Be Strangers, a social experiment that focuses on the question “How do you define a stranger, and at what point do they transition from being one to not being one?” ****Think Humans of New York meets casual coffee chat. I’m your host XinYi and I’d love to invite you to come on to co-host an episode! These conversations usually are super chill and guided by any topics the co-hosts are interested in! Or, if you’d rather plug into the community, our Pen Pals club is always open for sign ups. Find all the information on instragram @dontbestrangers!

In this final episode of season 4, I’m chatting with Chloe who is honestly such a badass. She started her personal finance blog during quarantine and is now breaking into the instgram and potentially YouTube space to inform the everyday person to optimize their financial health. Her content on instagram is really bite size and approachable, which makes total sense given that from first impressions, I’d definitely describe her as empathetic and warm. In this conversation we dive into (1) pivotal moments in our childhood that shapes us into who we are today (2) what she’s learned from disappointing her parents (3) how we both got into software engineering as a career (4) Chloe’s pro-tips on time management and... (5) is it really that important to be a morning person? With that, please meet Chloe...

Timestamps

Q - What was your childhood like and how did it affect who you became? (2:26)

the girl with eight names. (Xinyi’s YouTube Video)

“It’s not interesting to be like everyone else.”

Federal Way Seattle (Ktown of Seattle, WA)

“My mindset is always, ‘I will do things as I can and work my hardest and it’ll turn out for the best.’ Because I definitely disappointed my parents a couple times and I think that impacted me pretty harshly when I was younger.”

“I’ve learned to accept that everyone works their hardest and everyone comes from different backgrounds genetics and upbringings and… everyone just does what they can.”

Q - When did you disappoint your parents? (10:03)

It took me a while to realize that you don’t live to satisfy your parents. And I think that’s a very big Asian cultural thing where people are like, ‘oh I need to make my parents proud and I have to do what they tell me to do.’ Of course I love my parents but… my life is not their agenda.

Q - How do you determine where you want to go digital nomading? (13:52)

Q - How did you get into software if your dad was pressuring you into medicine? (18:48)

Q - What are your passions? (21:07)

Q - What’s something that you’re struggling with currently and how long have you been struggling with it? (35:05)

[Time Management] “I’m getting a little better at it I think… because I use calendars now so I block out time to do work, I block out time for lunch, I block out time to work on my blog…”

There’s a lot of things that I want to do so I definitely need more time in my life…I like working out, I like working on my blog, I’m career orientated…

Of course you always read about these top CEOs and top executives being like, ‘oh I wake up by 5 am and by 7am, I’ve read all my emails, I’ve done a workout, I’ve showered… and I’m just like.. ‘uhhh how do you do that? It makes no sense at all.”

The 5 AM Club by Robin Sharma

The Power of When by Michael Breus

Q - How do you define a stranger and at what point do they transition from being one to not being one? (42:07)

The pivotal point is when you have any sort of interactions with them.

[A name is] pretty integral to who you are. So if someone can call you by name, and they know your name, it shows that they care.

Previous Episode discussion on Nicknames! 🇵🇭🤔🎭 Filipino film & audio drama producer (stranger!) Matt on favorite collaborations + asking: what about the idea of name fluidity? (017)

Q - What are your eventual goals with the podcast? (47:58)

Thanks again Chloe for coming on to chat and sharing your voice and story! If you’d like to dip your toes into getting your personal finance in shape, you can find her instagram @offhourhustle! And as always, if you have thoughts on this episode or wanna start a conversation, please feel free to leave a comment or shoot a DM to @dontbestrangers on instagram! I would love to hear from you!! And don’t forget, you’re always welcomed to apply to co-host or check out our Pen Pals Club!

Voice Vlogs entry no. 6, today is Monday March 28, 2022, and it’s been a little over a month since I’ve edited a podcast episode. I kinda hit a slump post my vacation to Oaxaca, and even though I’m fully aware that everyone’s interest comes in waves, I still felt a little bad about falling “out of love” with the project. As someone who’s grown up believing that they just get bored really easily, one of my greatest challenges in life is staying dedicated to my projects and my craft. I guess it’s kind of a side effect of being a creative chimera. But during this entire past month, besides soaking in the last of Mexico City as I am flying back to Dallas this Thursday, I’ve been actively chatting with friends to get re-inspired with the whole community and platform!

And I would say that roping others in has definitely re-ignited a spark in me! Just yesterday, we hosted our 2nd ever video call meeting within the Pen Pals Club (which is totally optional) and even if the group is really small, I’m really optimistic about the connections I’ve been able to help make through the group! One really heart warming example is that one pen paler had recently moved to Vancouver from Toronto and was struggling to find friends. The crazy thing was that she was randomly paired with another Vancouver-based creative and through this connection, were able to meet up in person and even join the little art club this other creative hosts!

As for the topic of spring and changes to come, I’m keen to reset in Dallas for 7 weeks before setting off to Peru for 2 months! I just bought a longboard which I hope to pour a lot of time into in my short stint back home because it’s been a dream of mine to learn to longboard dance. Seriously, I’ve wanted to skateboard since I was like 11 or 12 and even though I have the basics (AKA, going forward, stopping, and kinda turning), I would love to feel bonded to a board. To have that proficiency, flexibility, and ease with my body in harmony with something else. What are you looking forward to with the turn of the seasons? I’d love to hear from you. Until we speak again, don’t be a stranger!

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🌌🐇🇦🇪 creative chimera (stranger! from Dubai) Noor on going down rabbit holes + asking: what does it mean to travel? (019)

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Noor’s Links ( Podcast 🎙 Pixel Paper Podcast | Newsletter 🗞 Design. Draw. Do. | YouTube 🎥 Design. Draw. Do. )

📮 **Pen Pals Club** | 👋🏼 Come Say Hi! @dontbestrangers 

Welcome to episode 19 of Don’t Be Strangers, a series of collaborative conversations that focuses on learning how to create agency in your life and manifest deeper connections. Think Humans of New York meets casual coffee chat. My name is XinYi and as anyone of any background is welcomed to apply to come on to co-host an episode, this is my invitation to you to consider applying! Or if you’re not quite up for this sort of thing, you should consider joining our Pen Pals Club. All the information can be found on instagram page @dontbestrangers!

Today I’m speaking with Noor from Dubai who is a fellow creative chimera sister who does it all. I mean, she has a newsletter, a youtube channel, and a podcast where she has interviewed over 25 upcoming artists to get to know the mysterious workings behind their creative process. In this conversation we cover topics such as (1) productivity and anxiety, (2) her favorite hack for creative productivity, (3) what it means to truly travel, (4) our creative parents, and (5) her current struggles. I don’t want to steal any more of her thunder so I’ll let her explain more about herself...

Timestamps

(2:07) Q - How do you deal with productivity and anxiety?

“As you get older you start to realize like… you start caring less about everything. It’s like… ‘this doesn’t matter,’ whatever you’re thinking and whatever you’re having anxiety about. It doesn’t really matter.”

“Which makes it easier to deal with life.”

(9:42) Q - Do you journal for your mental health?

(10:30) Q - Fav tools, resources, and hacks for personal development and growth?

Notion

“Before I started working, I was under the impression that you literally work 9 to 6. But then I went into work and I realized you don’t literally work 9 to 6. You have a lot of time (sometimes) when you’re not really doing anything.”

“I literally have a page in my Notion called ‘Rabbitholes’.”

“You know how we get distracted a lot? I think that’s actually a really good way to get inspired and get creative. Cause it’s during these moments of boredom that you start to get creative.”

“I don’t get inspired when I sit down to get inspired.”

(15:13) Q - Do you foresee yourself in your career as a graphic designer forever?

“I think I just want to keep going down the creative route.”

(19:02) Q - How does this work? This whole digital nomad lifestyle? How do you just pick-up-and-go? What does your life look like?

Remote Year

(30:10) Q - Are you in touch with your culture?

(32:17) Q - What’s your ideal weekend?

“The UK is such a tiny place, it’s kinda like America, people just don’t visit other places…. If you’re form London, generally people don’t leave London.”

“UK’s a really tiny country but each city and each place is just SO different, it’s crazy!”

“You travel to learn and understand more about the world and it’s SO true… there’s so much that you can’t explain what it is that you learn when you travel. Even in your local area… you start finding out about your local places and you’re like, ‘oh hey, this thing existed? I didn’t even know that… that’s so cool!’”

“Traveling can just be getting on a bus and seeing where it goes!”

(38:56) Q - Do you find that the city has changed or feels different when you go back?

(41:30) Q - Do you foresee yourself living in Dubai longterm?

“It’s really different living in a place as an adult… because you start seeing ‘the real world.’”

(42:18) Q - Where else would you like to travel?

(43:05) Q - Who are your creative parents?

“The algorithm has a lot to do with it as well… you ‘have’ to create in a specific genre or specific niche otherwise people aren’t going to follow you.”

Draftsmen Podcast

Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon

Thomas Frank - Productivity YouTuber

Ali Abdaal - Productivity YouTuber

(49:29) Q - What’s something you’re struggling with currently?

“It’s just interesting how some people make it and some people don’t.”

Virgil Abloh (Noor’s newest creative sibling)

(52:50) Q - How do you define a stranger and at what point do they transition from being one to not being one?

   Thank you so much Noor for such a fun and soulful conversation! Can I say that she has the perfect podcaster voice? It’s so soothing to listen to. If you’d like to connect with her, her instagram is @designdrawdo and from that page, you will be able to find her podcast, youtube, newsletter, etc etc. If you’re feeling a little shy and need a personal introduction, of course, you can just reach out to me at @dontbestrangers and it’d be my pleasure to do that for you! Of course, that’s the page where you can find info about our Pen Pals Club as well! So... I hope to see you there!

 Voice Vlogs entry no. 5, today is Thursday Feb 24, 2022, and I’m on vacation in Oaxaca, Mexico. It’s actually my second to last day here and wow, the experience of re-visiting a place is so interesting to me. But this time around, it feels quite different because last time, I was here for a month but I basically worked that entire time and took Spanish classes 3 hours a day. This time was truly a vacation and my husband and I attended a traditional mole cooking class, some salsa dancing classes, and even met up with my old Spanish teachers as friends catching up for coffee and food in the city. It’s been really lovely. Especially because, I also missed out on the culinary art aspect of visiting Oaxaca last time? I basically cooked almost all my meals in (more details of that in episodes 8 and 15 if you’re curious). But this time, since it’s vacation and also the celebration of my husband’s birthday, we’ve just allowed ourself to indulge a little.

Aside from this trip, we found out last Friday that there was a miscommunication with our Airbnb host so this upcoming Monday we’re going to have to change homes. I confess I was quite stressed out Friday afternoon with the pivot and search... even if I knew that everything would work out just fine. This is definitely the downside of a nomadic lifestyle which is that problems are more likely to occur when your environment is always changing. But I think it’s also really worth the trouble. Also, I view it as a great way to practice flexibility, problem solving, and resilience. As always, if you listened to the very end here, I’d love to hear from you. Until we speak again, don’t be a stranger!

[dontbestrangers]

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001: w/ the hubs 👨🏻‍💻❤️🔥 👩🏻‍💻 bonding over mutual nerdiness (tech vs. biohacking) + asking: why would you ever confess to an aromantic?!

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Hi & welcome to episode 1 of Don't Be Strangers ✨☺️ a podcast and social experiment for learning to create meaningful connections together via collaborative conversations! Statistics show that (1) social isolation is on the rise and (2) the number of close friends someone would say that they have is decreasing. Considering that having a strong social network is one of the key factors in general happiness, overall health, and prolonged longevity, my hope is that this podcast will serve to bring awareness to the issue as well as provide a platform to start solving the problem, together!

My name is XinYi and I dreamt up this little experiment... and when I say experiment, I stress, this is a complete experiment because I fully intend to treat each episode as a test and learn and improve along the way. So I thought I'd start off easy and not put a lot of pressure on myself by asking someone whom I already knew that I adored having conversations with ... my husband, Joseph. I kind of forgot how wordy we both can be and it was made extremely apparent during the recording because I think we ended up recording close to 3 hours of content (which I was able to edit down to only 1 and a half hours?), so if you like long-format podcasts or if you listen to everything at 2x speed like me — I've got you covered! And to avoid making this any longer... let's just cut to it.

Table of Contents

〜 introductions + getting to know who we are 〜

00:01:13 - XinYi asks: "Why don't you introduce yourself?"

00:01:22 - XinYi asks: "What does your ideal day look like?"

00:14:51 - XinYi asks: "What have you been thankful for lately?"

00:17:11 - XinYi asks: "How does someone pique your interest to start a conversation with them?"

00:22:14 - Joseph asks: "What does your ideal/typical day look like?"

Hack Your Sleep with Oura Ring:

https://ouraring.com

00:32:35 - XinYi asks: "What is the common thread between all your hobbies?"

00:36:20 - Joseph asks: "What is the common thread between all your hobbies?"

〜 deep stuff + vulnerable conversations 〜

00:42:55 - Joseph asks: "What is the origin of 'Creative Chimera'? Why do you align with that?"

00:53:42 - XinYi asks: "How do you define a stranger and at what point do they go from being one to being not?"

00:57:23 - Joseph: "When someone becomes...not a stranger, it only requires a one-sided interaction and when one can identify with something about them [(the other person)] ... with them."

01:07:07 - XinYi: "Which begs the question... do you think there is a category that lies between a stranger and acquaintance?"

01:10:00 - Joseph: "I think there's an essence of still agreement between us..." ← this is how our "arguments" typically end 😂

01:11:45 - Joseph: talking about our relationship between a normal romantic person with an aromantic alien (XinYi)

01:12:18 - Joseph asks: "What does being aromantic mean to you?"

01:14:15 - XinYi: "Aromanticsm: people catch feelings... I don't."

01:16:40 - Joseph asks: "Describe how it felt — at the moment of us being really close friends — for me to confess that I liked you in a more than friend capacity... despite knowing that you were aromantic?"

And that concludes our conversation! The point of this podcast is to encourage open and meaningful conversations so I'm very keen to know if you found any part of our conversation interesting or unconventional. Did you agree or disagree with anything? If so, why? This is your warm invitation from me to you to find the instagram post associated with this episode and to share your thoughts (I'll link them the show notes) OR if you feel so inspired... you can send a direct message to @dontbestrangers on instagram or email me at donotbestrangers@gmail.com and maybe potentially co-host a future episode with me? I know I would love to meet you.

Also, if you happen to know anyone who is passionate about community building, loves meeting new people, or simply enjoys listening to and participating in deep conversations — I'd be so honored if you could connect us. Again, you can reach out to me @dontbestrangers or email me at donotbestrangers@gmail.com or you can share this podcast with this loved one and see what they think!

So, thanks again if you've stuck around till the end here for sharing your time and energy with us! I hope something that we talked about made you laugh or smile at the very least and until next time, wishing you all the very best that life has to offer. ✨

[dontbestrangers]

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005: w/ my first actual stranger Doza Le Prince 👑🇵🇭🎤 filipino rapper from L.A. + asking: is it better to be single or to be married?

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Co-Host: Anthony “Doza” Mendoza @dozaleprince | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

All of Doza’s Socials & Links: https://linktr.ee/dozaleprince

Welcome back to Don't Be Strangers, a podcast and social experiment for learning to create meaningful connections together via collaborative conversations! My name's XinYi, and this is a huge milestone episode for me because when I started the project, knowing who I am and my propensity to be suddenly struck with a lightning bolt of an idea, fall madly in love with it, begin working on said idea feverishly like I'm possessed, then proceed to fall horribly out of love with it — I had promised myself to produce at least 5 episodes before seeing if I want to continue or to set aside this project. Well, this is episode 5, and I have about 8 more recordings scheduled in the next month or so... so I don't think I'll be stopping any time soon.

The other reason why this episode is incredibly special is because this is the first true episode I recorded with an actual stranger. I had made a public post announcement in a Facebook group asking for co-hosts and Anthony Mendoza or "Doza" as we refer to him in this ep, graciously volunteered. I was super nervous, lol, but ultimately, it was super fun! In this conversation, we talk about (1) what villains we would want to be vs what villains we would most be like, (2) Doza's creative process as a rapper, (3) what we're currently struggling with in life, (4) the moment I realized I was old, and (5) is it better to be single or to be married, especially if you're really trying to focus on your career?

Questions & Highlights [ Timestamp Index ]

01:30 - Q Xinyi to Doza: What’s the origin of your nickname(s)?

03:37 - Q Xinyi to Doza: What’s your relationship like with L.A.?

10:34 - Q Doza to Xinyi: What is a skill/sport/ability that you wish you were really good at?

12:59 - Your vocals are an instrument that you can carry anywhere!

15:05 - Q Xinyi to Doza: What is a skill/sport/ability that you wish you were really good at?

16:30 - Q Doza to Xinyi: From any universe/book/etc what villain would you want to be? And what villain would you most likely be?

18:24 - Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney (a visual novel game)

21:43 - Q Xinyi to Doza: From any universe/book/etc what villain would you want to be? and what villain would you most likely be?

25:03 - Q Xinyi to Doza: As a rapper, what does your creative process look like from end to end?

26:49 - Sample of “Another Devil” by Doza

30:22 - Q Xinyi to Doza: What are you struggling with right now?

30:29 - Sample of “Played Out” by Doza

36:05 - Q Doza to Xinyi: Moment you realized you were old?

39:04 - Xinyi: You’re only as old as you think you are.

41:30 - Q Xinyi to Doza: What does your rich life look like?

41:59 - Doza: My goal at the end of the day is just to be happy.

42:44 - Doza: The struggles I go through… at the end of the day, they’re struggles that I know I have to go through to get to where I want to be.

43:24 - Doza: You only live once…life is too short. 

43:44 - Doza: What I’m struggling with… I’ll never get to do everything that I want to do in life. 

44:46 - Doza: Rich life = happy life = no worries

44:57 - Q Doza to Xinyi: What does your rich life look like?

47:45 - Q Doze to Xinyi: Is it better being single or married? (In general and if you’re really diving into your career)

49:51 - Xinyi: Being aromatic… I don’t understand why you need that validation from a romantic partner even though I understand that we, as humans, all need connection and all need to be loved.

50:32 - Xinyi: I believe that if people want to be in a relationship, that relationship should support their single lifestyle.

53:51 - Q Xinyi to Doza: How do you define a stranger and at what point do they transition from being one to not being one?

57:34 - Doza: What inspired me to get on this [podcast]… I kinda just miss talking to people, and I thought this was a cool concept.

And that's the scoop! As always, if you have any thoughts on anything we talked about, feel free to shoot a dm or leave a public comment and start a community thread @dontbestrangers on instagram! As the goal of this podcast is to simply narrow the gap between all of us as fellow humans, anyone of any background can apply to come on to chat. Which means, yes, you too can apply to co-host an episode! Or if you know anyone who appreciates deep conversations or loves making friends, you should totally consider introducing us to each other!

I'll link all of Doza's socials and music in the show notes, but can also directly reach out to him via instagram at his account @dozaleprince! Let's connect again soon, and remember, don't be a stranger. :')

[dontbestrangers]

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w fellow digital nomad Tiffany ✨🇲🇽🏮on our fav feelings + asking: the rise of k-pop and Asians in Hollywood? (012)

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Co-Host: Tiffany Phan @ti_phanny  | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

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Xmas Special! 🎄🐥🐈‍⬛🐕 Fam Reunion w the hubs + my lil sis! First impressions, Chinese Media, and Public Astrology Apology! (BONUS)

Xmas Special! 🎄🍵🫖 Spilling Some Tea w the hubs! 🙄 Digital Nomad Drama + sorry, I’m aromantic 💔

Hi! You’re listening to episode 12 of Don't Be Strangers, a series of collaborative conversations for learning from friends and strangers alike on how to create agency in your life and deepen your connections with everyone you meet. As we’re coming to a close on 2021, I’m super excited to say that this is the last of my backlogged episodes from my beta test trail this year which will allow me to start 2022 fresh!!

Speaking of the New Years — have you joined our Pen Pals Club yet? Since this is round 1 of this monthly series of digital pen pals, I’m extending the opt-in date for Jan until end of day Friday Dec 31! Every month, you’ll receive a journal prompt (inspired by questions discussed on the podcast) which you will ponder and answer in an email to someone else in the group. What’s really fun and unique about this pen pals community compared to others is that everyone will be lined in a circle (instead of being exclusively paired) so you’ll personally connect with 2 others within the community, someone you write to and someone who writes to you. If this piques your interest, hurry and sign up before the turn of the year so you’ll be on the mailing list! And who knows — maybe I’ll get paired to send or receive a response to you! I’d honestly love that.

So, today I’m speaking with Tiffany, a fellow Asian American whom I met in Oaxaca, Mexico thanks to the digital nomad group Wifi Tribe. Honestly, thinking back on it, I kinda wish I had spoken to Tiff earlier during our 4-week stay together because this girl is so cool. I’m just grateful that we had the chance to have such a soulful conversation here on this podcast because in this conversation we cover (1) our favorite feelings and sensory experiences, (2) our creative goals and processes, (3) K-pop and the rise of Asian representation in Hollywood, (4) growing up Chinese in Dallas vs NYC, and (5) judgement vs curiosity in response to Black Lives Matter and Stop Asian Hate. And... if you stick till the very end, I’ll share a funny mis-adventure Tiff and I shared about a week after the recording of this podcast during our time together in Oaxaca.

Highlights

02:33 - What is WifiTribe?

06:24 - As your first chapter in WifiTribe - what is your honest impression so far? How does reality compare to your expectations? Where else would you want to go with the tribe?

09:15 - KELLY 🦋 MASON @pinchekelly

12:08 - nancy elle 🌙 @msnancyelle

14:33 -Q Tiff to Xinyi: What is your morning routine?

15:29 - What are 3 of your favorite feelings?

18:10 - Q Tiff to Xinyi: What has it been like being on Wifi Tribe?

21:21 - Q Xinyi to Tiff: What are your favorite sensory experiences?

24:44 - Tiff: “It might be because I grew up in New York City, so I’m very used to people watching. And I’m very used to looking at people and wondering their lives, what did they do right before this moment when they passed by me, and what are they going to do after? Just this whole idea that everyone is living their individual lives but for one brief moment you can pass each other and experience… whatever you’re experiencing in that moment together… individually but also together.”

25:59 - Q Tiff to Xinyi: What is your creative process like (inception > execution)?

28:05 - nancy elle 🌙 @msnancyelle

30:25 - Level Up + Video Game Storytelling (learning things take time) Project

32:36 - Tiff: “I think sometimes it’s easy to think about how much work you have to put in but then also… if you want to put it in, it’s as simple as making the decision to put that work in. It’s like all you have to do is like, ‘I am doing this…’ and then you just do it.”

34:05 - Q Xinyi to Tiff: How do you define a stranger and at what point do they going from being one to not being one?

35:48 - Q Xinyi to Tiff: Have you had a meaningful connection with a stranger?

37:39 - Q Tiff to Xinyi: What are your thoughts on the recent rise of K-Pop and relative increase of Asians in Hollywood?

41:02 - Xinyi: “If you’re going to do this just to force diversity in your cast, please don’t do it at all. I’d rather not see an Asian person than to be represented like that.”

41:39 -  Tiff: “Because it’s honestly more harmful, because it strengthens the stereotype.”

42:22 - Q Tiff to Xinyi: What is it like growing up Asian in Dallas, Texas?

44:25 - Q Xinyi to Tiff: What is it like growing up Asian in New York?

47:23 - Q Xinyi to Tiff: What is your affinity for other Asians in social settings?

50:49 - Tiff: “I’m very proud that I’ve gotten to a place where I don’t care anymore… and it’s like, if I like these people, I don’t care if they’re Asian or not Asian. I can feel comfortable, and if they don’t accept that, then I don’t even want to be around them.”

55:00 - Xinyi: “On the opposite spectrum, and this is me trying to find a balance because life is all about finding balance… we’re all just people…I don’t want to have to think about you in terms of your race, socioeconomic status, gender, sexuality… But at the same time, I don’t want to equalize everyone and be like, ‘there’s nothing special about you.’”

56:57 - Tiff: (on racism) “I feel like if people could open themselves up to just being genuinely curious about anything and everything it would make relationships and tensions so much less difficult…”

58:04 - Tiff: “Everyone should be on the stage together and have equal time…”

60:59 - Q Xinyi to Tiff: What are your creative goals?

And that’s a wrap! As promised, I’ll share a little funny mis-adventure Tiff and I shared during the last weekend of Oaxaca. So, I had made friends with a local barista who had offered to give me a tour of a local famous market. I thought it was something that was just in town so I extended the invitation to Tiff and... let’s just say that on a bus ride together like 10 minutes out into the country side, we started getting really confused. Long story short, we ended up a 30 minute drive outside of the city center in like one of the largest Sunday markets in that area. And because we had my local friend acting as our guide, we got a free private tour where we followed my friend who walked us through all the bread, meat, dessert halls and just ordered stuff for us to try. It was definitely one of the most whimsical and unexpected gems that can occur on a trip but I did feel extra guilty for the miscommunication cause I didn’t mean to drag Tiff out of town for a half-day trip. But she seemed pretty pleased by the adventure, and I definitely enjoyed it!

Anyways, as always, if you have thoughts you’d like to share about anything we talked about — please swing by the instagram page @dontbestrangers ! That’s also where you’ll find the link to sign up for our pen pals club, Tiff’s instagram account if you’d like to connect with her, and my personal instagram if you want to reach out! And... if you’re listening to this in real time, happy soon-to-be New Years and... don’t be a stranger!

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💜🧘🏾🧬Transformational Life Coach + Spiritual Guide (stranger!) Jemarc on living in the present + asking: what is Community Care? (018)

Click Here To Listen 🎧▶️    

Co-Host: Jemarc Axinto @jemarcaxinto | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan 

Sat, February 26, 2022 (1:00 PM – 3:00 PM CST)

Jermarc’s Masterclass - Reclaiming My Passion: Empowering Our Community Care.

Jemarc will share his combined interest and expertise in ancient Tantric Buddhism and modern neuroscience to take you on a journey towards reclaiming your compassion, healing old wounds, and opening your heart. 💗

From their very own word: “The time is now for a psychospiritual glow-up my love! The world needs you to be a Jedi Master of your story and a Radically Compassionate and Loving Warrior of Altruism.” 😌

Oh yeah, 100% of the proceeds will be donated to support victims of Super Typhoon Rai in the Philippines. 🙏

📮 **Pen Pals Club** | 👋🏼 Come Say Hi! @dontbestrangers | 🎉 Never Miss an Ep & Support for Free: Sign up for the Newsletter

 Hello & you’re listening to episode 18 of Don’t Be Strangers, a series of collaborative conversations that focuses on learning how to create agency in your life and manifest deeper connections. Think Humans of New York meets casual coffee chat. If we haven’t met before, I’m your host XinYi, and anyone of any background is welcomed to apply to come on to co-host an episode. Sign ups for our Pen Pals Club for March is open until the 25th. Find all the information and more on the instagram page @dontbestrangers!

Today we’re speaking with total wellbeing coach and spiritual guide Jemarc who I met for the very first time through this very conversation. We get really real and really deep, so I’m going to drop 2 gentle warnings here upfront. If you feel uncomfortable with listening to swear words, you might just want to sit out on this one. We also touch on the topic of the fight against suicide. If you’re on the fence after hearing about those two tidbits (aka, you’re not sure but willing to giving it a try), I’d highly encourage you to try because... just re-listening to this episode, I was transcribing and taking all the notes from the wisdom that Jemarc was sharing with me and... actually, even if you don’t listen, you should peep the show note transcriptions. We dive into (1) Jemarc’s daily morning ritual with a death mantra (2) relative vs absolute truths (3) our journey towards self healing (the how’s and why’s) (4) what is community care and (5) how to make the world a better place. So, with all that hype... please meet Jemarc!

Timestamps

Q - What makes you feel connected to your authentic self? (2:22)

Big Kid Energy = Unrestrained excitement without any filters

Authenticity is living a life from presence and radical curiosity.

We have these societal expectations that once we hit a certain number, we’re supposed to have our s*** together.

It’s a matter of really profoundly recognizing that this is an impermanent existence. So are we going to be delaying our happiness for a future date (which a lot a lot of us f****** do)? Or, are we going to anchor ourselves in the present?

I do a death meditation every morning. I say: “I know I may die today. Because I may die, may I only do the things that matter most to me. And may those things bring the greatest amount of happiness to as many people as possible.”

Death Mantra inspired by Sah D’Simone

Buddism TLDR; orientating our minds to understanding that everything is imperment.

Because it’s a way of anchoring myself to being appreciative. That’s all it is. (on the topic of Death)

Have I made a point to connect with the people who I value in my life and let them know that I love and cherish them?

2 Truths:

Relative truth: Time pases, racism exists, sexism exists, homophobia exists

Absolute truth: Time doesn’t exist, we’re all one spirit and interconnected

Q - How did your spiritual journey begin? (9:18)

Growing up… healing is the process of reparenting yourself and addressing inner child wounds.

The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle

I had the privilege to see how my suffering was causing the suffering of those around me.

Forgiveness became such a profound practice.

My spiritual practice/my spiritual journey is recognizing that everyone is innately good.

Q - What is your personal journey of self care and self actualization? (17:00)

Q - What do you define as success? (21:17)

True self-care orientates you to community care.

Q - What is Community Care? (26:00)

It’s gotten to the point now where people hear about something [bad] happening and they’re apathetic or they’re broken and they’re exhausted.

Especially growing up Asian American, you know, we were raise the silent majority and was raised culturally to never speak up… to never stand up for myself and not say anything.

Tonglen is a Tibetan Buddhist meditation practice: Breath in poison, breath out anecdote.

“I’m the only one who can save myself. I chose to save myself. I deserve to be saved.”

3 step process:

Acknowledging that you’re the one ultimately responsible for your wellness.

Making the conscious decision every day to heal.

And recognizing that you’re deserving of that.

At the end of the day, any time that we’re harming somebody, it’s our inner child calling for love. When we’re acting out of fear it’s because we love ourselves and we don’t want to die. When we’re acting out of doubt, it’s because we love ourselves and we don’t want ourselves to fail.

Community care is being able to access those parts of ourselves that has been wounded and hurt, recognizing that they’re ultimately rooted in love and just f***** up through fear, and then looking out and seeing, ‘How can I help others feel better?’”

Community care can be as simple as making eye contact with the cashier. Look at them like they’re a real person.

Community Care = The conscious commitment you make to be loving, compassionate, and nurturing every moment of every day with every single person you meet and see in the world… including yourself.

“We [my partner and I] say to each other…’My health is my number one priority.’… It HAS to be. So before our relationship, it’s our health. Before our cats, it’s our health. If and when we have kids, before our kids, it’s our health! And it’s not in a selfish way.”

“Chose to be your own best friend”

“It’s… I take care of these people because I take care of myself.”

Q - What do you think are the necessary steps for making the world a better place? (40:00)

“Hurt people hurt people. Healed people heal people.”

“They just feel safe to exist.”

Q - What does your “check-engine” light look like? What are the signs that you’re off your game? (41:38)

Q - How do you define a stranger and at what point do they transition from being one to not being one? (43:51)

Q - What are your hopes for Don’t Be Strangers? (47:00)

Any wellness retreats that need someone to hire and teach?

 Outro

 I’ve already signed up for Jemarc’s masterclass, so if anything that we’ve touched on piqued your interest, I’d highly recommend checking out their instagram page @jemarcaxinto. If you miss this month’s masterclass, as they mentioned, there will be more in the future to come. And as Jemarc said, if you know of anyone holding wellness retreats or conscious spaces that are looking to higher a teacher and guide, they’re looking for plugging in with the community! So please reach out!!! Speaking of communities, if you want to participate in our pen pals club and connect deeper with our community, information for that can be found @dontbestrangers!

Voice Vlogs entry no. 4, today is Thursday Feb 17, 2022, and I leave for Oaxaca in 2 days for vacation for a week. The weather here in Meixco is slowly warming up which is... well... such a blessing because Feb is normally the coldest month in Dallas. And if there’s anything you’d learn about me is that I’d rather die of heat any day than have to bear the cold. The tree outside my window is blossoming beautifully with these deep lavender florals and I’m so grateful for the 1.5 hour of direct sunlight I get through my window every morning between the hours of 10:30am and noon. It makes the inner cat/plant inside of me very very happy.

I’m really excited to go shopping because the thrifting scene here in Mexico City has been a disappointment in terms of finding second hand shops. Everything is “vintage” and wayyy pricier than thrift shops back in Dallas. So I’ve been saving my shopping for my visit to Oaxaca, which from my first visit, had great luck in finding cute clothes for really cheap. But just this week, I did actually find someplace with decently priced second hand clothes with a good selection and cute accessories. I’m already planning and clothes swap here in Mexico where I can donate out some of my old clothes that I brought with my so that I’ll have space in my luggage to take my new clothes home to Dallas. In Dallas, I already have a bag of clothes ready for a clothes swap which I plan to host when I return so that I can catch up with all my friends and also just keep my closet minimal for all my travels.

Speaking of which, I’m loosely thinking of Peru end of May going into June and tacking on a short trip to the Bay Area mid May to visit some friends right before I flight out of country again. So let me know if you’re based in either Peru or the Bay Area and if you wanna meet up for coffee!! Until next time... don’t be a stranger!

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🇵🇭🤔🎭 Filipino film & audio drama producer (stranger!) Matt on favorite collaborations + asking: what about the idea of name fluidity? (017)

Click Here To Listen 🎧▶️ 

 Co-Host: Matthew Curran @tyresidon | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

 📮 Pen Pals Club | 👋🏼 Come Say Hi! @dontbestrangers | 🎉 Never Miss an Ep & Support for Free: Sign up for the Newsletter

 Hello & you’re listening to episode 17 of Don’t Be Strangers, a social experiment focused on learning to create more meaningful connections. I’m your host XinYi, and anyone of any background is welcomed to apply to come on to co-host an episode. As a gentle reminder, if you’ve been meaning to join us for our Pen Pals Club, sign ups for March is open until the 25th. You come find all the information and more on the instagram page @dontbestrangers!

Today we’re speaking with yet another stranger, Matt who was an absolute joy to speak with. This is going to be a fun one as we dive into topics such as (1) Matt’s experience growing up mixed race (2) nicknames and what they reveal about our relationships (3) our favorite creative collaborations (4) his audio drama Project Gnosis and (5) things we have in common. With that, this is Matt...

 Timestamps

  (01:12) Q - As an Asian American artist, aside from what you accomplished so far, what is next for you to use your art to empower our community?

(4:47) Q - How was your experience growing up mixed race?

“And ultimately, I think we both regretted that because I kind of feel like I was a bit white-washed, but not just in terms of language but also in terms of any general sense of identity and what it means to be Filipino.”

“But over time I realized it doesn’t really matter… what it means to be Filipino… because being where you belong to isn’t a certain amount of trace to define who you are.”

“It’s about a relationship between you and the people you come from. And I think that defines the experience as much as anything else that people attribute traits to… whether you’re Filipino, Black, or White …”

(8:30) Q - Can you adopt someone else’s culture?

“There’s a difference between something that’s performative and something that’s truly being part of what we call ‘the family.’”

“In the end, I can only attribute myself as myself… I can’t be anyone but myself, just like how everybody else cannot be anything else but themselves. Because ultimately things like ‘Filipino’ and ‘Autism’ or… ‘film maker’… all of these are just attributes to make the full Matthew experience.”

True Names — the idea that names have power + when you name something you have power over that thing.

“I think there can be a fluidity when it comes to who you are… and fluidity in naming would be a very interesting thing to explore… If we can experience a concept like Gender Fluidity, why not the fluidity of names?”

My Youtube Video About All My Names: “the girl with eight names"

(16:53) Q - What are your feelings on nicknames?

“Nick names also define a relationship that people have with each other…. and nicknames are hints of what kind of relationship there is.”

(23:35) Q - Who is the person who has left the most impression on you in the last 3 years?

(24:22) Q - Your favorite collab with an artist?

Project Gnosis a Narrated Audio Drama. Project Gnosis is a cyberpunk urban fantasy focused on exploring myths and legends from around the world.

CastingCallClub.com

(42:59) Q - How do you define a stranger and at what point do they go from being one to not being one?

“For someone like me on the autistic spectrum… I had to study… cause the thing is for people that are in the neuro-typical range (which are the people who are not neuro-divergent), they don’t tend to think a lot about the cues they take for granted about if people will jive or not. I had to figure this out more self-consciously.

(46:07) Q - What are social cues that I take for granted?

(48:49) Q - What are the 3 things that you believe we have in common?

 Outro

 Thank you Matt for such an interesting and thought provoking conversation. If you’d like to connect with him, you can reach out directly on instagram @tyresidon OR if you’d like a personal introduction, you can always say hi to me @dontbestranger. Again, sign ups for the pen pals club for March is open until the 25th of the month! I’d love to write to you if that’s your thing.

Voice Vlogs entry no. 3, today is Friday Feb 11, 2022, and I’m a week out until my vacation to Oaxaca, Mexico. It’s pretty rare that I re-visit a place because the logic I follow in my head is... “Why return somewhere when it’s more interesting to explore someplace new?” But I just fell in love with Oaxaca from my time there in October last year and I really wanted to share it with my husband so... that’s that.

Last night I meet up with Pallavi who was a friend that I found via a FB group when I was temporarily moving to Chicago for 5 weeks last May. We didn’t actually have the opportunity to meet when I was out in Chicago and shortly afterwards she moved to San Francisco. But we kept in touch and she happened to be in town in Mexico City so... almost a year later since I first reached out... we grabbed dinner together last night. Life is incredible, isn’t it?

The only other thing that’s been on my mind lately was that Abhas of episode 9 has introduced me to this idea of hypnotherapy, and I’m keenly interested to use it to help with some chronic stress that I’d love to find the source of and heal from. All in all, life’s good and I’ll speak with you again soon. Until then, don’t be a stranger!

[dontbestrangers]

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w/ film & TV sound mixer (stranger!) Chris 🎬 🧗🏼‍♂️👾 on how to price your creative services + asking: how do you learn to live in liminal spaces? (016)

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(Then Come Say Hi! 👋🏼 @dontbestrangers )

 Co-Host: Chris Sinn @sinumber4 | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

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Chris’s... Films 🎥 | Twitch 🎮 | Twitter 🕊

Welcome to episode 16 of Don’t Be Strangers, a series of collaborative conversations on learning how to create meaningful connections. The name’s XinYi, and anyone of any background can apply to come on to co-host an episode. As we’re dipping into February, I’m very pleased about Round 2 of our Pen Pals Club getting underway. If you’re interested in joining us for Round 3 in March, you can learn more about our digital journaling and pen pals club on our instagram page @dontbestrangers!

Today we’re speaking with Chris who was an actual stranger to me. I had posted a call for co-hosts in a Facebook Group that we are both part of, he liked that post, and I tried to friend him. This is what happened next...

Next thing I know, I get a co-hosting application from him. And I will say that, given the tone that Chris approached me in response to me trying to friend him totally did not match my expectations for what a fun conversationalist he is. So, this is exactly why I don’t really hold myself back from trying to connect with people. Because I never know what sort of connection I can potentially make.

So post discussion re-cap, I’d describe Chris as a life enthusiast through and through, a deeply provocative thinker, and honestly... friend. Because he has such a warm vibe that makes you instantly feel like his friend. Or at least, that’s how I felt. And that’s how I hope you’ll feel as we talk about (1) liminal (AKA. inbetween) spaces, (2) how his hometown is a little bit sequestered from the rest of reality, (3) his formula for pricing his service as a creative working professionally in the industry, (4) critique vs criticism, and (5) our thoughts on digital vs analog. So please, meet Chris...

Timestamps

3:00 - Q - Chris to Xinyi: How do you learn to live in liminal (in-between) space?

Double major in Religious Studies (academic) — function of religion and how people understand the divine

Definition of Liminal Spaces

“I think a lot of people get really scared about that in-between space because you don’t know, you’re not there anymore but you’re not where you’re supposed to be yet, so it’s like, ‘Uhh.. what do I do?’”

“I’ve learned so much more by being uncomfortable and by putting myself in scenarios in which I am totally am in a new swimming pool. I don’t know the rules of this pool… but putting myself in those scenarios has made me grow and develop and experience a lot more quality of life by meeting new people and experiencing new cultures, new food.

10:40 - Q - Xinyi to Chris: What is your relationship like with where you currently live (LA)?

Blue Zone

“The reason why I don’t like this is space is because we’re kind of really sequestered from the rest of reality”

“If you only believe that you should take care of ���your’ people, you’re really not a citizen of this world, at all… Because you’re making selfish decisions about one group of people.”

16:48 - Q - Xinyi to Chris: How do you price your work as a creative?

“You should also be paying that much money for a professional set of work in creative fields.”

“You take the cost of all your total equipment… take everything you need to do your job, all of the hardware, all of the disposable stuff, everything, all that, put it in a spreadsheet. List the price you got it for. Add it up. Multiply it by 5%. There’s your daily rental fee for that stuff. Ok, now you. Take your life… how long are you going to spending on this? Multiply that by your cost of living. Then add another, maybe, 30% to that… Ok, this is what it costs. And when people come back to me like, ‘Are you really worth that much…?’ I’m like, ‘Here’s my spreadsheet… and this is what I’m worth — base. And it’s math.’”

“And I’ve found most people, when I shoot a higher number to them, are totally willing to pay that.. but if I shoot a lower number like $450 for 12 hours, they’re like, ‘Can you go lower than that?’”

“It’s better than undercutting someone next to you, who’s going to be willing to take that and thinking that’s ok… We don’t want to race to the bottom here in terms of our industry.”

21:12 - Q - Xinyi to Chris: What do you think I d o?

24:26 - Q - Chris to Xinyi: How do you learn to separate critique from criticism?

“I understand where they’re coming from, however, they don’t have the full context… but I’m gonna gracefully disregard this piece of advice. ”

“No one’s going to be a harsher critic than you are, so when someone points out something that you’ve already thought about, it’s like… ‘AUGHHH they’re right!’”

“Intention matters. If their intention with their critique is to hurt you, it doesn’t matter as much as if someone’s intention is to help you… The intention, to me, is what separates critic and criticism.”

29:26 - Q - Xinyi to Chris: What are some of your current intensions/projects?

“If it matters to me, then I hope that someday, or maybe someone, will stumble across it and it’ll matter to them. But ultimately it has to matter to me first. ”

32:56 - Q - Chris to Xinyi: Did you have a moment where you felt like this is really what you’re meant to be doing?

“Film is one of those arts that can encompass every other art if you do it well. And if you do it REALLY well, it’s a really good piece of art at the end.”

39:06 - Q - Xinyi to Chris: Digital versus analog? What are your thoughts?

47:09 - Q - Xinyi to Chris: How do you define a stranger and what point do they transition from being one to not being one?

“When someone shares something with me that has emotional weight — or has stories of failure or stories of success — it’s so much easier to connect with them and to see them as a person than if they never shared that with me in their life.”

“There’s probably going to be a story in there that I can relate to.. and if I can relate to them and they can relate to me, I think that’s when we’ve kind moved out of that zone of being a stranger.”

51:23 - Q - Xinyi to Chris: How do you make friends as an adult?

“Making the time to have the possibility for that connection.”

“You have to do everything in your power to give yourself the highest probability of succeeding… and then also get lucky.”

Outro

Thanks so much Chris for your time and your laughter. It was such a joy to re-listen to and edit this episode. I will be linking to where you can watch his films on vimeo, how you can connect with him on instagram @sinnumber4 and all his streaming links if you want to be part of his community in the shownotes! Please send him some love if you felt like you connected with anything that he said or have any questions or feedback on the topics we discussed.

Continuing with my post-episode voice vlogs, today is Feb 2, 2022, 18 days into Mexico City. I’ve been putting effort intentionality behind meeting native friends and have found a few. It’s just a matter of me being more curious to develop these friendships. Both me and the husband recently recovered from food poisoning which is a nice throwback to what Jeremy of last episode was saying about Montezume’s revenge. I’ve fallen into this weekly ritual of lunching with my WifiTribe girls Simoné and Sarah during a workday which has brought such a lovely grounding point to connect with familiar faces. I’m super thankful that we can have a safe and constant space amongst all the changes we crave as nomads to hang out like this.

It was Chinese New Years recently and I found myself exploring China Town here in Mexico City por un ratito and just this Sunday, they hosted their first Chinese New Year celebration, which was really cool to see. I know that there’s a lot of mixed feelings on cultural appreciation vs. appropriation but from my point of view, if credit is being given where credit is due with all the references, then what is wrong with wanting to celebrate with other people? Also, I’ve been running into a surprising amount of Mexicans who have studied Mandarin, so that’s been interesting.

Thanks for sticking till the very end and if you want to write to me, if you want to join our pen pals club, or if you want to co-host a future episode... Remember, it’s all available to you @dontbestragers our instagram page. Let’s chat again very very very soon, and until then... don’t be a stranger.

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w Moroccan artist from Netherlands Sana 🍊🥺🌻 on lessons from 2021 + asking: who can you share your struggles with? (013)

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 Co-Host: Sana @artsy.sl | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

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Time to Kill, Binge Listen Maybe? 🥺 LAST EPISODE: w fellow digital nomad Tiffany ✨🇲🇽🏮on our fav feelings + asking: the rise of k-pop and Asians in Hollywood? (012)

Welcome to episode 13 of Don’t Be Strangers, a series of long wholesome phone calls (with your could-be friends) digging into all the posibilites of life. If we haven’t met before, my name’s Xinyi and I started this podcast mid 2021 as a social experiment. I’ve always had such deep, rich, and soulful conversations with my friends that I wished I could record and share with the world and... that’s exactly what I’m doing now!

The reason why I changed the tagline to include “could-be friends” is because I really want to focus on the community building aspect of running this podcast in 2022. We just kicked off round 1 of our Pen Pals Club which, as you can guess, some of the past co-hosts are actually participating, which means you can personally connect with these very introspective, kind, and open-hearted people. If you enjoy the questions that are asked on the podcast, you’d be a perfect fit for our Pen Pals Club! Find the link in the show notes or on the instagram page @dontbestrangers! We’d love to have you!

And last but not least, while I’m setting my intentions on building this community — I’d be so honored if you could share your favorite episode of this podcast with a friend or two whom you think would appreciate the topics discussed. I’m also dreaming of a way where I can easily accept submissions for featuring works and instagram posts from the community so that it becomes more of a platform that even you, the listener, can use to find inspiration and share your own light.

So with all that said, I’m so stoked to introduce you to my friend Sana from the Netherlands. We met primarily through my IG lives when I was hosting these “office hours” for creating art early on during the pandemic. While I didn’t know too much about her besides our warm small conversations over my sketchbook, I loved her vibrant energy. And as you’ll hear during our conversation, I was really pleasantly surprised when I received her application to co-host because it meant that I’d have exactly this conversation to see her “face-to-face” for the very first time, to learn more about her and from her, and to really make this new friend whom I’d already been very loosely chatting with through text for over a year. My first impression of Sana is that she’s so vibrant and zesty and a little sassy but in a very playful and refreshing manner.

We laughed SO much during this conversation and I’m so excited for you to dig into these topics with us which includes:

What we learned from 2021 and our word for 2022

New mediums we want to try as Creative Chimeras

Sana’s daily habits

How she found her best friend

This idea of “Life Goes On” (as loosely inspired by BTS)

And with that, please meet Sana... CONVERSATION HIGHLIGHTS ✨

03:27 - Q Sana to Xinyi: What’s the most important thing you learned last year?

03:42 - Xinyi: “We really have agency in our life.”

06:22 - Xinyi: “Allow yourself to play is not necessarily the opposite of being productive. It’s also productive.”

07:44 - Q Xinyi to Sana: What’s the most important thing you learned last year?

08:38 - Xinyi - Explaining the American School Progression

08:53 - Sana - Explaining the Netherland School Progression

11:50 - Q Xinyi to Sana: What would be your one word to summarize 2021?

12:54 - Q Sana to Xinyi: What is your word for 2022?

13:04 - Xinyi: #bigkidenergy — less perfectionism and more play

13:54 - Sana’s phrase for 2022: “Getting Out of my Comfort Zone.”

14:30 - Q Xinyi to Sana: In terms of your art, how do you decide what to share and to share it? Along the same line of thought — how do you decide what to create and how to create it?

15:43 - Sana: I share almost all my art… I love sharing it… I love it also when people respond… I mean, likes is fun. I would love to really have comments… Because I also really like feedback.

17:18 - Sana: “EXCUSE ME! What are you talking about?” I wish someone would do that to me, too. And that’s why I like sharing [my art], to have other people who are also very passionate about art talking to each other… like we have this community.

17:36 - Q Xinyi to Sana: Do you feel like the art community is stronger on TikTok vs Instagram?

19:59 - Q Xinyi to Sana: How did you find my account (this is due to my interest in understanding how things come to be!!)?

20:16 - Aileen Xu @lavendaire

20:30 - Michelle Choi / Hyelim @theseoulsearch

23:58 - Q Sana to Xinyi: What is a medium you would love to work with that you haven’t worked with before?

26:21 - Xinyi: And that’s what I love about music is that I feel like it’s like another language. You don’t really need to understand words, but the vibrations and the energy and the feeling that it gives you… that’s what I love.

27:39 - Q Xinyi to Sana: What is a medium you would love to work with that you haven’t worked with before?

28:09 - Wacom Drawing Tablet

28:43 - Q Xinyi to Sana: What are 3 favorite daily habits/rituals that you do?

29:23 - Sana: My clothes can really make what mood I’m in.

29:38 - Sana: Do I have to wear something JUST to go outside? I’m doing this for myself! (On dressing up even during lockdown at home)

33:47 - They Both Die at the End by Adam Silvera

35:10 - Q Sana to Xinyi: How are you experiencing the pandemic? How did you feel during the lockdown?

39:48 - Q Xinyi to Sana: How do you define a stranger and at what point do they transition from being one to not being one?

41:06 - Sana: And with friends you really have this connection… You talk more with each other… and you also feel safe.

41:55 - Xinyi: That’s all that we’re seeking as humans — we want to feel safe. And I think that’s part of why we seek connections and communities, too, because it’s something that makes us feel like we belong and that we are safe.

42:20 - Q Xinyi to Sana: What’s something that you’re struggling with currently?

51:05 - Sana: (On finding connections) We should never give up. There are always people that have good intentions.

52:07 - Sana: “Life Goes On” and remember that.

[dontbestrangers]

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w/ a fellow podcaster Kyle (of What Kind of Asian Are You?) 🍜🇭🇰🥢 on the inner world of an introvert + asking: how to make big decisions? (010)

Click Here To Listen 🎧▶️ 

(Then Come Say Hi! 👋🏼 @dontbestrangers )

 Co-Host: Kyle Leung (host of @whatkindofasianpod) | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

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Hi! I can't believe that we're already at episode 10 of Don't Be Strangers!

I'm XinYi, and I started this series of collaborative conversations to learn from friends and strangers alike for how to create agency in your life and deepen your connections with everyone you meet. Before we jump into the meat of the topic, I want to remind you that early sign ups for the Pen Pal community that I'm trying to build is still open and you can find the link to sign up on the instagram page @dontbestrangers. I'm extremely stoked for this community because it'll allow the listeners (AKA you) to directly connect with past co-hosts as well as with each other!

Each month you'll be sent a prompt inspired by questions from the podcast which you will answer and send to someone else within the club. This club will be a whole-community experience because instead of mutual 1-1 pairings, everyone will be ordered in a circle so you'll feel part of the bigger whole... who you send to will be different from who you receive from! Every month, get connected to 2 new friends. And because I'm providing the the prompt which you know you already find interesting (because you listen to this podcast), you can skip the small talk and dive straight into the deep stuff... Again, if I've piqued your interest, you can find the details for signing up on the @dontbestrangers instagram page.

With that out of the way... today I'm chatting with a fellow podcaster named Kyle who runs What Kind of Asian Podcast, a podcast series dedicated to exploring and telling the stories of the Asian diaspora. He's been running his passion project for over a year with over 50 episodes out, and I am so honored that he lended me some of his time so that we can bring you this episode!

Through a single conversation with Kyle, my first impressions of him are that he's extremely thoughtful, expressed in both the way he asks questions as well as the way he perceives his introspectiveness. Highlights of this conversation includes... (1) activities that we do that makes us feel most authentically ourselves, (2) the inner world of an introvert, (3) my happiest memory with my family, (4) Kyle's strategy for making big decisions in life without over-worrying, and (5) the real reason behind his decision to move to Toronto. So this is Kyle!

Timestamps

04:16 - Q1 Kyle to Xinyi: What is one activity that you would do that makes you feel like you are the most authentic you when you are doing it?

06:34 - Q Kyle to Xinyi: Why do you think being childish is the most real for yourself?

06:47 - Xinyi: Childhood is authentic because it's the time in your life before you become molded into society, other people's expectations of you, etc... at that point in time... you lived more independently of all these thoughts.

07:17 - Q Xinyi to Kyle: What activities make you feel like you are the most authentic you when you are doing it?

12:50 - Q Xinyi to Kyle: As an introvert (and podcast interviewer), do you ever maintain conversations post episode recording?

14:33 - Kyle: I want to be part of the platform or person to help other people get where they want to get to. I don't care to be the center of attention but I want other people who does want that center of attention to get the attention that they need.

14:56 - Q Kyle to Xinyi: What is your happiest memory that you had with your family/family members and what makes it so happy for you?

17:57 - Kyle: I think a lot of people have a certain expectation of what makes me happy... sometimes you might not meet those kind of criteria... but then it doesn't it mean it shouldn't be a happy thing.

19:47 - Kyle: I really am a believer that you just have to let things happen and when it happens it happens. And of course you should be responsible and plan things out that you need to do that are important... but you shouldn't put that much emphasis — "oh I need to have a plan, I need to follow through"... because that's a lot of pressure. Sometimes things are beyond your control in the future that could ruin your plans. But at that point, you just need to keep going at what you're doing or change your path.

20:26 - Kyle's answer to: How do you decide what you want to do?

20:38 - Kyle: My question is, "Are you willing to take a leap of faith?" You just have to make the best choice based on what you know at that point. You can't keep thinking, "Oh, but there's so many unknown variables." You're always going to be like, "I don't know what's going to happen, I can't make a choice."

21:51 - Q Xinyi to Kyle: How did you end up teaching in Taiwan for 3 years?

24:17 - Other people and what they do are not the same as yours, and that's ok. You don't have to be on the same timeline as them.

25:41 - After a few years I realized I was just afraid. It's not that I don't have those ambitions of getting into the next position... but now I feel like I'm ready, I'm willing to put in the work.

26:34 - Q Kyle to Xinyi: What is failure to you and what is your way of overcoming your failures? 30:50 - Xinyi: I think it’s just persistence. You acknowledge that the problem is important to you, and then you just keep trying different solutions.

31:26 - Q Kyle to Xinyi: What do you think is the true reason behind you not being able to reply [to friends]?

34:54 - Miscommunication thru text example with Abbas (w/ creative chimera storyteller Abhas 🦎🇮🇳🏝 on life-changing solo trips + asking: how to reframe anxiety as excitement?) 36:56 - Q Xinyi to Kyle: Before you arrived at creating your podcast, what other long-term/big projects have you tried but eventually lost interest or had to put them aside?

37:28 - Kyle: At the beginning of creating...

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, and I really wish somebody had told this to me.

All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But it's like there is this gap. For the first couple years that you're making stuff, what you're making isn't so good. It’s not that great. It’s trying to be good, it has ambition to be good, but it’s not that good.

But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is good enough that you can tell that what you're making is kind of a disappointment to you. A lot of people never get past that phase. They quit.

Everybody I know who does interesting, creative work they went through years where they had really good taste and they could tell that what they were making wasn't as good as they wanted it to be. They knew it fell short. Everybody goes through that.

And if you are just starting out or if you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Do a huge volume of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week or every month you know you're going to finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you're going to catch up and close that gap. And the work you're making will be as good as your ambitions.

I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It takes awhile. It’s gonna take you a while. It’s normal to take a while. You just have to fight your way through that.

—Ira Glass

39:39 - Q Xinyi to Kyle: Where do you envision your podcast going? Or what are you trying to practice or improve towards?

42:13 - Q Kyle to Xinyi: If you are able to do one thing for the world that can change/impact the world in a positive way that you may not get recognition for, what would you want that thing to be?

46:06 - Q Xinyi to Kyle: How do you define a stranger and at what point do they go from being one to not being one?

48:06 - Kyle: In order for someone to be a close friend, it'd be where I'm giving away really intimate, deep stuff about myself, unprompted.

48:42 - Surprise! 🎉 🥳 🎉

And that's a wrap! I hope you enjoyed this conversation as much as I enjoyed recording it. I confess that anytime I have to speak with an actual stranger for one of these recordings, I get really nervous. And by the end of the conversation my brain is on fire... similar to the feeling I used to get in college after a really intense exam. I think it's because it requires so much focus to details to what is happening during the conversation... but in any case, I love it, and that's why I'm still doing it!

You can check out Kyle's podcast @whatkindofasianpod on instagram. If you're a fellow Asian who grew up in non-Asian context, you'll probably find these vignettes extremely inspiring and interesting. When I listened to a few of his episodes, I definitely thought to myself, "wow, I wished I had access to these conversations while I was growing up." And even if you're not Asian but simply into culture and people, it's worth taking a listen to!

And don't forget to take a look at the Pen Pals Club information on the @dontbestrangers instagram page if you might be interested. It's also the page to go to if you want to show your support, leave some feedback, and/or apply to come on to co-host an episode! We can chat about anything you'd like and it's just a very chill conversation. Hope to keep in touch with you over instagram... and as always, don't be a stranger! Let's catch up again soon.

[dontbestrangers]

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w/ emotional resilience coach Megan Warren 🧗🏻‍♀️🤗 💬 on travel as a form of escapism + asking: how to stop making fear-based decisions? (011)

Click Here To Listen 🎧▶️ 

(Then Come Say Hi! 👋🏼 @dontbestrangers )

 Co-Host: Megan Warren | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

Want to show your support? Subscribe + Write a Review 🙏 (it's free and means the world!!)

QUICKLINKS:

Your Life Vision Guide eBook

Written by Xinyi to help you find your life vision, clarify your values and what you want from life, and never have FOMO again. :- )

Ways to partner with Megan:

Dip your toe in & try a short course to set and hold boundaries: https://www.udemy.com/course/make-life-work-for-you-boundaries/?referralCode=8D5810734A522EEEC6DD

Take the leap & commit to the real deal in a 6-week course to discover WHO you are: megan-warren-coaching.mykajabi.com

Schedule a discovery call to work with me 1:1: https://calendly.com/meganwarren/30min

Hello and welcome back to Don't Be Strangers, a series of collaborative conversations for learning from friends and strangers alike on how to create agency in your life and deepen your connections with everyone you meet. My name's XinYi, and I want to thank everyone who participated in the official launch giveaway! If you have an extra 2 minutes this holiday season and would like to support for free, please consider sharing this show with a friend you love, signing up for the newsletter, and/or leaving a review on Apple Podcasts. That would be the most amazing Christmas gift ever.

Speaking of which, did you get to listen to the bonus early-Christmas special episode with my hubs and sis? It was absolute chaos but as it is an off-format experimental episode, I'd adore some feedback which you can send my way on the @dontbestrangers instagram page!

With all that out of the way, I want to introduce to you Megan Warren the co-host of today's podcast. I met Megan via a mutual in Wifi Tribe and... if you haven't been following along in the episodes, Wifi Tribe is a group of digital nomads who travel together to work remotely from destinations around the world. And if this piques your interest, you can listen to episode 8 where I chat with my Oaxaca, Mexico Wifi Tribe host Joe.

You know when you meet someone who has absolute exuberance for life and what they're creating or contributing to the world? Well, Megan, gave me exactly those vibes. She's an example of someone who really created agency in her own life. We dug into (1) travel as a form of escapism, (2) how people end up unconsciously making fear-based decisions, (3) why we cave into peer pressure, (4) how I overcame a horrible friend breakup, and (5) authentic self connection. So this is Megan...

Timestamps

✈️ More on Wifi Tribe: w/ Wifi Tribe host Joe 🌍✍🏼🏳️‍🌈 the magic of journaling + asking: is anything truly frivolous or pointless? (008)

📓More on my Personal Development Journey: w/ creative chimera storyteller Abhas 🦎🇮🇳🏝 on life-changing solo trips + asking: how to reframe anxiety as excitement? (009)

6:11 - Megan to Xinyi: How possible do you think it is to make meaningful connections if you don't connect authentically to yourself?

9:21 - Megan: It's amazing, too, how much of our reaction to our partner is really about how we see ourselves.

9:30 - Xinyi: Giving an example of how she used information from other people's relationships to challenge her own

14:02 - Xinyi to Megan: What brought you to each of the places you’ve tried living in? Which was your favorite(s) and why?

15:13 - Megan: It took me a long time to figure out that changing locations doesn't change what's coming with me.

18:30 - Xinyi to Megan: Would you be open to some of the emotional baggage you were holding?

19:30 - Megan: I never felt like I found a place that spoke to each side of myself.

20:31 - Megan: My top values are newness/novelty/adventure... as related to learning.

21:59 - Megan: I would set the goals and achieve the goals... I was the under-fulfilled overachiever.

22:38 - Megan: So I think once I sat down and looked at those patterns...

23:50 - Xinyi to Megan: So how do you maintain your need for adventure having settled down?

36:58 - Xinyi's Book Rec: The Energy of Money: A Spiritual Guide to Financial and Personal Fulfillment

27:52 - Megan to Xinyi: How do you (personally) transition from being a stranger to yourself to not being a stranger?

29:14 - Xinyi: About not having self awareness

32:29 - Xinyi's Book Rec: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown

33:25 - Megan: It's amazing how we get math, we get science, but we don't get any social or emotional learning. And they're showing now that the people with emotional intelligence are they people who are showing satisfaction in life and fulfillment in life.

33:55 - Megan to Xinyi: Was there an ah-ha moment when you woke up an said: "Hey, this isn't for me?"

36:00 - Megan (on Rebelliousness): That's a strength. You are doing what you want to do, because you're able to stand up and say "no thanks."

36:25 - Megan to Xinyi: Did you have an ah-ha moment that you'll share? (on Journaling)

38:59 - Xinyi: I'm going to test my will-be husband... (spoiler: he passed 😂)

40:05 - Xinyi: The reason why this friendship breakup ghosting situation was so heartbreaking was because...

43:01 - Megan: It means that through journaling, you came to a space where you're able to make values-based decision in honor of courage.... and not fear-based decisions. A lot of time people don't understand, they don't look inside and will make, unconsciously, fear-based decisions in every area of their life. And then it all adds up together to a life they don't really want, it's just a life that they're living.

43:47 - Xinyi to Megan: What have you wanted to do/try but have yet to do so?

48:15 - Xinyi to Megan: How do you define a stranger and at what point do they transition from being one to not being one?

Find Megan wherever you hang out:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7yN6z2BbBMuIKvg_eNhiHg

Website: https://meganwarrencoaching.com/

Recent article on Medium: https://medium.com/@meganwarren_18870/emotional-overwhelm-blocks-conscious-decision-making-change-it-in-3-steps-megan-warren-coaching-c1938730f887

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meganwarren_coaching/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/megan-warren-b5769956/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/meganwarrencoaching

I always enjoy digging into this last question because you always come across interesting gems of answers. How would you answer it? If you're dying to share your own thoughts, you should consider coming on to co-host an episode! The application is always open and anyone of any background is welcomed to apply!

I'm also really curious to know as my replies may start becoming repetitive for longer-term listeners (for example, my personal development journey story transitioning from a student to an adult which I also highlighted in episode 9 with Abhas), how do you feel about that? Would love to hear from you if you want to stop by the instagram page @dontbestrangers to say hi!

And if any of the personal development stuff resonates with you — I actually wrote a Life Vision Guide eBook during my time in Mexico. The context for this is that within Wifi Tribe, we're encouraged to give a skillshare session and, as you may have noticed, I'm super passionate about the subject of living for yourself. As I've spent quite a number of years consuming different resources and trying out different life hacks, I decided to compile all the books, podcasts, blog articles, etc. into my little personal 4-week course for you to define your life vision to really figure out what you want from life in one little 1-hour read eBook. If I've piqued your interest, I'll link Your Life Vision Guide my eBook in the shownotes and you can check it out! It'll also be a great way to wrap up 2021 and kick off 2022 in a really fantastic way! Until next time... don't be a stranger!

[dontbestrangers]

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w 💪🏾🏅🍟 strength & nutrition coach Jeremy on failure + asking: what 3 qualities do you need to be a good educator? (015)

Click Here To Listen 🎧▶️ 

(Then Come Say Hi! 👋🏼 @dontbestrangers )

 Co-Host: Jeremy Fernandes @jeremy.fernandes6 | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan

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Help close the gap 🧵🪡 between strangers + grow our community 🪴💦 by sharing this show with a friend (or two)! 🙏 Protip: you can forward this newsletter email to a friend whom you think could enjoy topics of the episode!

QUICK LINKS:

**Join Our Pen Pals Club** 📮

Come Say Hi! 👋🏼 @dontbestrangers

You’re listening to Don’t Be Strangers, a series of collaborative conversations on creating meaningful connections and finding agency in your life. I’m your host XinYi, and anyone of any background can apply to come co-host an episode. If you’re into connecting with and learning from others, this is my invitation to you to either apply to co-host or join our Pen Pals Club. It’s a digital journaling club where you can connect with like-minded and optimistic students of life. So if you love the questions we ask on the show, you can learn more about how to sign up to become a digital pen pal on our instagram page @dontbestrangers!

Today, we’re wrapping up “Season 3” with this episode number 15. This started because when I began the podcast, I randomly picked the number 5 as a test trail run for me to see if I’d enjoy podcasting and interviewing enough to keep going. I officially launched the podcast after season 2 (or 10 episodes), and here we are... So I think my big takeaway is setting really small manageable goals for myself because honestly I feel pretty good every time I wrap up these informal seasons (or 5 episode runs).

I’m so pleased to introduce you to my friend Jeremy whom I met while traveling to Oaxaca, Mexico with a digital nomad group. My first impressions of him (which we’ve never discussed so hi Jeremy if you’re listening to this... it’ll be his first time hearing this as well) is that he’s definitely a health and fitness coach — not only physically but from his very friendly demeanor which is mandatory to be a good educator and counselor. He was always a little quieter and more aloof so I found him a tad mysterious yet... he always had great energy and was someone I wanted to learn more from. Needless to say, I was so thrilled that he applied to come on to share his story. You’re definitely in for a treat as we dig into (1) his story of how his career in nutrition coaching came to be (2) what it takes to be a good coach (3) what his experience was like traveling while maintaining his coaching job (4) instantly connecting with strangers in the big city and (5) what is #bigkidenergy?

With that, please meet Jeremy...

 Timestamps

03:23 - Q Jeremy to Xinyi: How do you view failure? What is your favourite way to fail?

09:57 - Q Jeremy to Xinyi: Why do you share your creative content? Do we see the finished product or is there a secret stash for your eyes only?

12:57 - Q Xinyi to Jeremy: Why don’t you see yourself as creative?

17:05 - Q Xinyi to Jeremy: What was your health & fitness journey like and how did you end up in your current career?

22:00 - Jeremy: “That experience then put me on the path to say… ‘maybe physio isn’t for me.’ Which is unfortunate. I wish I had a more mature mindset or someone else I could talk to, instead of allowing this one negative instance to kind of alter my path completely.”

23:18 - Jeremy: “Most of my passion for training comes from helping folks develop their own thoughts around nutrition and how it applies to themselves.”

24:52 - Jeremy: “I found other people along that path who shared what else fitness can be. And it can be community, it can be a way to feel more comfortable in your own skin, it can be a way to avoid injury and pain and all these amazing things that come along with it.”

25:29 - Q Xinyi to Jeremy: Did anyone give you that warm fuzzy feeling when you started to develop your creative self?

30:37 - Jeremy: “The benefit of connecting others… I don’t want credit for that. The knowledge that 2 people are better off from this connection is… that’s all the thanks I need, that’s all I require. And that feels very valid to me as well.”

31:12 - Jeremy: “When you put yourself out there, [rejection] is part of the game. It kinda goes back to what we perceive as failure.”

31:52 - Jeremy: “I think all 3 of those skillsets really are necessary for being a coach or an educator. If you lack any of those 3: the ability to reach out to others/to share your concepts with them, the ability to connect others with other people or with ideas, and the idea that you should have a deep love of humanity and just helping humans in general.”

34:35 - Jeremy: “I have no idea if I can help you, but I’m willing to listen to your problems and then see if we can find some common ground, and then let’s just start there. And that has made me a far better coach than trying to gain all the certification and have all the knowledge and think that I have all the answers.”

36:32 - Q Xinyi to Jeremy: How did you find Wifi Tribe and what drew you to becoming a digital nomad?

37:10 - https://www.precisionnutrition.com

40:47 - Q Xinyi to Jeremy: Do you have plans for other remote stints?

42:56 - Q Xinyi to Jeremy: Did you have any regrets from our stay out in Oaxaca?

44:42 - Jeremy: “You actually gave me one of the greatest gifts of my life! I didn’t realize you can microwave eggs which is a very obvious thing… but it has changed my life in ways that you cannot even imagine. Everyday I’m just standing there shaking my head like, ‘Why didn’t I know this earlier?’”

46:42 - Q Xinyi to Jeremy: How do you define a stranger and at what point do they transition from being one to not being one?

47:10 - Jeremy: “Whenever I encounter someone in an environment that is not home who has some connection to my home.”

48:32 - Jeremy: “‘Yup, we both agree that this is a crazy thing that we’re both looking at right now.” And we’re recognizing that the other person is also recognizing this… that is a kindred spirit right there. I’ll look at that person and know that in this moment, we’re bonded for life. We may never see each other again, but we both know that *** was wild.”

50:40 - Kissing Your Teeth

53:57 - Q Jeremy to Xinyi: What's your favourite word of the last year / going into this year?

 No, thank YOU Jeremy for sharing your time and light with us. I love how thoughtful he is in the way he articulates his thoughts and brings a little bit of comedy into anything he’s explaining. He told me that one of his intentions of this year was to try more stuff like coming onto this podcast. So if you know of any podcasters who need a co-host or interviewee, please reach out to Jeremy @jeremy.fernandes6 on instagram OR you can always DM me @dontbestrangers and I can make the introduction between you and him!

I had started noticing that maybe not everyone listens to the very end of the episodes (it was the reason why I started making my intros way longer but then my husband advised me to cut down the length), so... considering that this podcast is a total experiment for me anyways, I am going to use this outro space as a playground and audio vlog cause I’m going to assume no one’s listening. So...

I’m recording this on a Friday, 6 days after moving here to Mexico City. Yesterday, I recorded my first podcast episode with another stranger for the very first time in my new home (shoutout to Chris which will probably be episode 16). I’ve a lot of goals for my upcoming digital nomad stay out here because I’ll be here for 2.5 months. And while I’m trying to automate and make the whole podcast production and pen pals organizing experience much smoother for myself, I’m dreaming of future creative chimera projects. I’ve recently started creating mini vlogs which has been a lovely throwback to my travel vlogging YouTube days. I also want to make videos in Spanish to improve my fluency. There’s a lot I want to do... and I’m so excited to try it all.

If you actually listened to this very end, please leave a public comment on any post on the @dontbestrangers page as a way to send me a digital postcard that hopefully others can see and engage with, too. And don’t forget, I’d love to meet you as a future co-host of this podcast or even write to you as a fellow pen pal. Until next time, don’t be a stranger. 💗

[dontbestrangers]

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Xmas Special! 🎄🐥🐈‍⬛🐕 Fam Reunion w the hubs + my lil sis! First impressions, Chinese Media, and Public Astrology Apology! (BONUS)

Click HERE to Listen! (Then Come Say Hi! 👋🏼 @dontbestrangers )

 Co-Host: Hubs (from episode 1) + Sis (from episode 3) | Host: Xinyi Xan @xinyixan   

Hi~ this is XinYi and the host of this podcast Don't Be Strangers, a series of collaborative conversations for learning from friends and strangers alike on how to create agency in your life and deepen your connections with everyone you meet.   

Speaking of December and the holiday season, this is a bonus early-Christmas special episode which I've dubbed FamRe short of Family Reunion because it's the first time I'm having 2 guests at once, my husband (featured in ep 1) and my sister (featured in ep 3). It's not necessary to listen to those two episodes for context but it'd probably would help a little bit so pick your own adventure, listen to those first or not, and boy if that little intro snippet wasn't any indicator, it's always a blast with my two favorite people. The two big topics we cover will be first impressions of each person to everyone else and the emergence of Chinese media in Western pop culture. Yes, we only covered 2 topics in this hour because we're all very wordy but... I think it'll make you laugh a lot because it made me laugh a lot. It's a really raw episode that can get a little emotional at times but overall, I hope that it'll bring you a little bit of joy this holiday season.

 Timestamps

3:40 — Public Astrology Apology 🦀

6:04 — Frist Impressions 👀

6:10 — Xinyi's first impression of May (her sister) 👯‍♀️

8:11 — Joseph's (hubs) first impression of his little brothers

8:32 — Parenting Pro Tip: how to get your children to like each other before the younger sibling is born

10:50 — Xinyi's first impression of Joseph 💗

12:11 — Joseph's first impression of Xinyi 💞

17:53 — Joseph's first impression of May (his now sister-in-law) 🤪

20:54 — A weeb!!! In MY family!!! 😂🥺🐥🙏

21:55 — May's first impression of Xinyi

22:38 — GROUP HUG 🤗 INTERMISSION

24:52 — May's first impression of Joseph (her now brother-in-law)

32:14 — WHO GOES ON MORNING WALKS??? 🤔

34:27 — Cole of Sweet Tooth Hotel

35:27 — Chinese Media infiltrating Western Culture

37:08 — How did the weeb in our family convert to Chinese media?? 🙈

38:14 — When Xinyi started trying to reconnect with her Chinese roots 🧧

39:00 — "Having Stuff That I Like™️"

40:08 — The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (魔道祖师, Mó Dào Zǔ Shī; also: Founder of Diabolism)

41:31 — May: At that time I was truly touched because people were talking about China in a sense that was not in the context of martial arts ... or kung fu , etc... they were talking about it in a more respectful tone and I really loved it for that reason.

42:18 — Jay Chou 🎶

42:50 — Joseph's first impression of Asian media

48:49 — The Scum Villian's Self-Saving System (人渣反派自救系统, Rén zhā fǎnpài zìjiù xìtǒng) 😈

49:03 — All Saints Street: 1031 😇

49:48 — Genshin Impact 🗡

53:35 — Link Click (Shiguang Dailiren) ⏱

"It is said that a picture is worth a thousand words. In this case, it holds an infinite amount of secrets. These are secrets that only Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang are able to find. In a small shop called "Time Photo Studio," the two friends provide a special service: using their extraordinary powers that let them enter photographs, they jump into pictures brought to them by clients in order to grant their wishes. Through the eyes of the photographer, they live through the events surrounding the picture and try to decipher how to solve their client's request.

But every time they jump into a picture, they take a great risk. One wrong move and they could alter the future of the person who took the picture... and possibly countless other events too. So when the events they are forced to live through in these pictures start to become personal, it will take the utmost strength to push their feelings aside and focus on accomplishing the task they were paid to do."

58:15 — Joseph's non-Asian perspective on enjoying Chinese Media

59:02 — Steins;Gate — time traveling anime - Joseph's rec

59:21 — Signal — crime triller k-drama - May's rec

59:59 — Am I a Real Developer?

1:03:01 — "Barriers to Entry" for Chinese Media

  So... what did you think? I hope it made you laugh a little or a lot. I love that I can have such raw conversations with people who I feel like I can confide it, and that's really the purpose of this show. At the end of the day, my mission is to fight social isolation and help people deepen and create authentic relationships because of the importance of the role of having a strong social network and how it ties into health, happiness, and longevity. If you believe in these things, too, you might want to consider coming on to co-host an episode. The application is always open to you and anyone of any background is welcomed to apply!

Or if you're not so much into the idea of coming on to talk, you can always connect with past co-hosts via our instagram OR even better, join our Pen Pals Club which will connect you with the larger community! All that and more on the instagram so I really hope I can catch you over there! Let's keep this conversation going and I invite you to tell me if you check out any of the shows we mention or if you have any opinions about how you get along with your siblings.... write to me. Sending you so much love, and until next time... don't be a stranger!