dont-trust-squirrels

[dont-trust-squirrels]

Hope and Glory (1987)

The wry and humorous recollections of an English child surviving the emotional throes of WW2 as it affected Britain. Life takes a strange turn for him when he has to live by the rural parts of the river with his blustery grandfather who was a cranky traditionalist and a naturalist who had one thing in common with him-they both hated school.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCMkCz7F_g0

[dont-trust-squirrels]

"'As you wish' was all he ever said to her. That day, she was amazed to discover that when he was saying, 'As you wish,' what he meant was, 'I love you.' And even more amazing was the day she realized she truly loved him back."

The Princess Bride (1987) dir. by Rob Reiner

[dont-trust-squirrels]

why would i want a boyfriend or a husband? they bring absolutely nothing to the table. every woman i know in a relationship is unhappy but is in denial about it. i see so many smart, successful, and beautiful women with men who Leech off of them and suck their life force out by being a constant letdown and disappointment. i mean they’re with men you didnt know God can create, and it’s completely a mystery how they got together. and he often has criminally bad hygiene that she talks about like it’s the funniest thing in the world (how many times have i heard women joking about their man who doesnt wash his ass) , a reprehensible personality or none at all, always fugly and badly built with ZERO dreams or ambitions. never contributes to housework even if he works the same or less hours and complains he’s too tired or burnt out in the evenings. trying to have a conversation with him is like pulling teeth out and he barely responds beyond a simple yeah or no. you cant even say it’s because he’s good in bed bc 99% of the time he is not. he doesnt give a FUCK about her needs and wants. in or out of the bedroom. just lays on top of her for a minute at most, then rolls over to look at insta models on his phone. he’s probably the reason she has chronic yeast infections. and if you have a child together? he’s absolutely useless. so many stories are coming out with women packing up necessities and getting their children ready to leave the house during a natural disaster and what is the husband doing? nothing. probably gooning out one last time in the bathroom while his family is running around like it isnt a matter of life and death. the amount of times i hear about women asking their dumb, PATHETIC husband to watch the baby while she eats or uses the bathroom for 5 minutes and what does he do? he immediately puts it down or ignores it or tries to hand it back even when she is telling him she desperately needs a break. completely disinterested in his own child—that he probably begged for her to keep and/or pressured her to have mind you.

i know why but why are single women painted to be bitter spinsters? i am always happier when single. every single, childless woman i know is doing MILLION TIMES better than women who aren’t. yet we act like attention and being desired by these bottom of the barrel men is the prize and we should completely center our lives around them. all they do is ruin lives or take them. im sick of it fr decenter men it is the true guide to happiness.

[dont-trust-squirrels]

@pscentral gif(t) exchange to @madeline-kahn 💖

Clue (1985) —

dir. Jonathan Lynn.

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[dont-trust-squirrels]

the thing about the mummy movies is that you really spend most of the time thinking "wow brendan fraser's character is so cool" or "man oded fehr is so mysterious and heroic" when the fact of the matter is that these two

are the absolute most batshit insane heroes in the entire franchise

these two are intellectual loner siblings with archeology backgrounds who read and speak ancient egyptian, hire a dude directly out of prison to take them to a lost city of gold, and fight mummies literally with their bare hands. twice.

no one in these movies stands a chance against the carnahans. frankly they're lethal in how willing they are to make the absolute and most undeniably deranged decisions. jonathan pickpockets a dude on fire. evy's resurrected from the dead and immediately remembers how to use sai. they're racking shotguns from a cliff in this scene and then proceed to blow away half the antagonists.

rick and ardeth should be so lucky

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People not comprehending Nosferatu correctly might kill me. Yes it's erotic and about pleasure but yes it's devastating and about child sexual abuse. It's a movie about victimhood, about being already dead, about longing for the great beyond, about never feeling safe from your abuser, about always expecting one more rape must be endured. It is about being an ugly victim, a neurotic victim. About your supposed allies tying you down for fear you will rip their world to ribbons. It is about facing the abuser, facing the pleasure the abuser brought. It is about men seeking to silence a plague in the quiet of the night when grooming and abuse can only be destroyed by pulling it into the light of morning.

[dont-trust-squirrels]

ABOUT TIME (2013) dir. Richard Curtis

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absolutely fucking reeling from puss in boots the last wish. my grown ass friends made me see it and it absolutely fucked. it was mad max fury road for kids. it was a horror movie about the fear of death. it was a western about an ageing outlaw trying to regain his youth with the help of his ex fiance and homeless harvey guillen. it was about found family. it was about needing people and asking for help. it had the best depiction of a panic attack i've ever seen in a mainstream film. the villain looked exactly like boris johnson. there was a wicker man reference. it had a kill count higher than most slasher films. it set up shrek 5. they even said fuck.

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Soooooooooo there’s this ginger cartoon cat that wears boots…..

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My Narnia Text Posts

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Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses that were rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind.

WESTLEY/the Dread Pirate Roberts & BUTTERCUP, the Princess Bride THE PRINCESS BRIDE│1987

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[dont-trust-squirrels]

your life is not an optimization problem

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Die Hard (1988) dir. John McTiernan

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as i have no oasis oomfs on twitter i hope tumblr oomfs can appreciate this

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well at least at the end of the day its the end of the day