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The Final Experiment
When was the last time you got off social media? Or the Internet for that matter? When was the last time you legitimately left your phone or turned off the WiFi connection and just enjoyed doing other things that did not involve anything online?
If you haven’t done so recently, might as well do.
At the start, you may think that you will not be able to help it. You may think that sooner or later you will give in to temptation. You may think that it’s pointless going offline because everything important, everything that would keep you in the know, is found online, and therefore being on social media 24/7 is a must.
But then again you must realize that it wouldn’t hurt to take a break from the stress of work and the internet even just for a day. In fact, by doing so you might even give yourself a little inspiration or a little boost to productivity.
It’s the final two weeks for most of us students here in my school, and therefore this mindset of “I-can’t-go-without-internet” is completely normal. This was the time where we need to be updated on reviewers, schedules, group chats, and other academic related information in order to get that decent grade we were aiming for the entire semester.
But despite how hectic the week may sound, we were asked to try to stay off the Internet and social media for at least one day. It doesn’t have to be 24 hours, it can be just from sunrise to sunset.
Now I’ll come clean, I didn’t stay off the Internet entirely during the course of this experiment. It’s not that I didn’t want to stay off, it’s because I can’t. A lot of our requirements needed for the week entail academic sources from the internet. And I cannot waste an entire day doing offline work because I needed citations.
But what I did do was stay off all social media platforms, online games, and video streaming apps I can and not open them until after dinnertime, which was about eight in the evening. These social media platforms include: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Reddit, and even Tumblr.
So you might be wondering, how the hell was I able to give myself headspace by staying away from things that could cool down my brain after working so hard?
Art by bbrunomoraes
Coffee with a side of Nostalgic Music
In all honesty, it was not my first time to go a day without internet, or more specifically social media for the matter. I actually already have ideas on how to cope with the boredom the “No-Social-Media-Day” would cause. But it was my first time to do it during a hell week. And I did not expect it the slightest that it would be practically helpful.
It was hard at first. I needed help from my friends, I needed online material, I needed opinions to build my opinions from, I needed something to inspire me. But then it would have been pointless for this experiment to have any results if I give in. So I turned to the one thing I could count on to get me in a zone: Music.
Overexposed - Maroon 5 (2012)
More specifically, nostalgic music. I’d just bump up a playlist I used to listen to three to four years ago, when I was barely making it out of high school. And then it suddenly hit me. If before, a lanky and ever so foolish high school me could pull himself out of tight situations and actually make it, why can’t I?
So then throughout the playlist, I found myself typing a lot, letting ideas just flow through, without thinking any revisions nor corrections - I just let the pour the f out. It was quite spectacular hearing the keyboard make that continuous typing sound.
The day ended with me finishing the two papers in Theology I had on 20% for almost two weeks already.
The Experiment Takeaway
I think the best thing I learned from this experiment is that, although kind-of-cliche, taking a break from all the clutter social media brings us would actually cleanse our minds and help us focus on what’s important. Social Media’s hook is keeping you entertained and making you ask for more things to entertain yourself, hence making you lose an awful amount of time that could have been used to accomplish tasks that should have been the priority.
For most students, social media becomes the haven of finding fellow students who are experiencing the same thing as oneself, finding solace in that shared suffering or shared laziness. This solace may be counterproductive, as most would begin to establish a mindset that “It’s okay to loaf around as many people are doing it too”.
For myself, I think I learned that if I de-clutter myself from the mess of social media, I could easily find the things that can get me into my zone to prioritize what’s important. And for me, that’s music.
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Gender Continuum
I am a Heterosexual Slightly Masculine but Mostly Undifferentiated Male Man
This illustration presents how I perceive my Gender Continuum. Majority of the illustration is pretty self-explanatory, with the exception of the “slightly masculine but mostly undifferentiated” part.
I chose to depict myself as such because I find myself only masculine in instrumental aspects. In expressive aspects however, the masculinity and femininity remain consistently stagnant. One only overtakes the other depending on a situation that would arise.
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The Ever-changing Painting
Once they were coolest, they were invincible, they were powerful
The First Painted Image
When we were young, we had no one but our parents. They’d be the first people we would run to, the first people we would call if we’re hurt, and the first people we’d tell our achievements to.
So naturally, being the naive, fragile little humans we are then, we would paint them to be like superheroes: cool, badass, invincible, powerful, all-knowing, you name it. They seem to have everything.
Like a helpless civilian looking up to their savior, our relationship to our parents in our early ages would constitute an never-dwindling trust to what they would say, an unchangeable bias towards how cool they are,
We start to see their flaws, they aren’t as perfect as we painted them to be.
As we grow older and we start to see the reality of the world, we slowly realize that superheroes have their own weaknesses too. By the time we enter our teenage years, we see our “super-parents” make mistakes, and exhibit imperfection. We slowly revise how we see them.
We start to see ourselves as individuals capable of our own heroic feats. Step-by-step, we build the hero in ourselves too, with the basis being our parents. In this age, they start to see us with more difficulty, as the helpless child they once had, now has slowly built upon himself or herself their own protective arsenal.
Although they would still be there to help out of problems out of our leagues every now and then, the dependence would start to dwindle, and before they know it, we are on the final stage of painting our picture of them.
The Final Picture
But then we realize that before they were our parents, they were the same as us too. Humans with their own flaws and weaknesses.
But then we realize that before they were our parents, they were the same as us too. Humans with their own flaws and weaknesses.
As we reach the age of adolescence, we realize that they were once like us too. Human and fragile, with their own sets of weaknesses and demons. We come to understand that they were the superheroes we need when we were helpless whelps of the world, and by the time we reach this age, they are already past their prime. Hence, we have to take care and be the hero they need.
Like how heroes have an understanding with one another, our parents see us with this kind of perspective. We do the things they can’t do, and they do the things we can’t do.
We acknowledge their weaknesses and they acknowledge ours, and together help overcome them.
And here we finish our painting.
My Painted Picture
In my life currently, I see myself as someone who is highly capable of being a hero not just for myself or my friends, but to all sorts of people who are in need. I see myself as someone who needs help from time to time, but wants to give help more than I actually receive it. I see my parents as still the heroes they still are. Although now I am fully capable of their weaknesses, lapses, misjudgements, and lack of knowledge (in some aspects), I still trust them to pull me out of situations I can’t handle. I still count on them to be walls I could hide behind if I’m feeling threatened. I still look up to them and idolize their achievements.
As for them, they see me now as a child who needs constant guidance, and not saving. They understand that I am very much capable of saving my own skin already. But they know that I still have much to learn. Now, rather than a citizen that needs saving, they see me as an apprentice that needs mentoring.
The way I see my parents and the way they see me are quite complimenting. They know what areas of my life they need to tap, they know what areas in their life they could depend on me for tapping. They know what holes of mine they can and can’t fill, and they recognize the holes of theirs I can fill. I see them the way they see me: as someone who they could always rely on to take care of each other as this world evolves.
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Self-identity in Memes
So here we are, at the edge of my Individuation, and this GIF above is just a hint of what I now dedicate myself to. For context, this GIF shows my dedication in preserving good mental health, partly influenced by my parents, and of what I’ve seen and experienced. For even more context, the girl is actually the real reason why “bad mood” and “depression” would disappear, as she is one of the favorite members of mine in a Korean idol group I follow.
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Lost and Adrift
We’re like our own planet: young, lost and wandering.
The generation of today is at a stalemate and it’s normal.
In the fast-paced, technology-laden world of today, Millennials are in a constant state of wander - in a constant state of searching for meaning and purpose, of belonging and settlement. Millennials are in constant search for identities.
And this isn’t abnormal at all. In fact, it is perfectly understandable. The modern world has so much to offer, and for one to explore every possibility and opportunity is very much encouraged. Before, at the age of adulthood, people are expected to have found who they are, to have committed to an identity. But nowadays, to commit to be shut down, tied and restrained - which is why people prefer to be free: free from commitment, free to wander, free to search, no matter how long it takes.
The quest for identity is a long path, and people want to take all paths possible.
The Millennials’ Quest for Identity
I used to waste my junior high school summers playing one game. It’s an action role-playing game called The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim. It’s essentially an open world game (you can explore without boundaries and restrictions) where you can create your own story. There’s one main story line for you to follow, but there are a lot of side stories you can do, and the best part is, there is no one fixed outcome of each story, the outcome depends on what you do and what you don’t do.
I never gave it much thought until I wrote this blog - That the very essence of players playing that game never really finish it completely. Heck, some never even touch the main story of the game. It’s always an endless cycle of creation and recreation, restarting and reimagining what kind of character that player is going to be. They don’t what to do the main quest because they already know the outcome - heroic, positive and whatnot. They want to try the side quests because depending on what side quests you do affects the way people look at your character in game. (And plus the main quest entails a pain-in-the-ass grind and needs a lot of commitment to finish.)
And this game perfectly captures the Millennial’s Quest for Identity
Emerging Adulthood
The norm for a Millennial’s identity would be Moratorium. If based on James Marcia’s Paradigm of Identity Statuses, Moratorium by definition would be the perfect status to describe what the Millennial is going through.
This kind of Moratorium however, is further specified by calling it the stage of Emerging Adulthood. This stage, in a nutshell, is the stage wherein one is no longer an adolescent, yet is still not an adult - mainly due to instability, curiosity of the world, drive to try everything, to be adventurous.
Emerging Adulthood is where we are mature enough to find what we want and do something about it, but aren’t mature enough to make hard, enduring, mature and committing decisions.
We’re just floating around doing anything and everything we can, finding ourselves, finding something worthwhile, finding something we can do for the rest of our lives.
And it makes sense. Thinking about it now, I am finding myself in such stage of life. With so much opportunities and interests in the world today, I don’t see myself deviating from exploration. I don’t see myself picturing out what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. I’m at a stage of constant “YOLO-ing” and just letting life figure out itself for me.
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Subliminal and Implicit
The Philosophy of Sigmund Freud is never easy to grasp - mainly because he defines the human person’s sense of self in a way that below the threshold of conscious perception.
Freud's psychoanalytic theory of personality development, argues that personality is formed through conflicts among three fundamental structures of the human mind: the id, ego, and superego. The theory capitalizes on and emphasizes the role of unconscious psychological conflicts in shaping behavior and personality.
Talking about Freud and learning that we are 80% moving because of something we are 100% unaware about is truly mind-boggling. The thought paradox is very mind-blowing for me - learning about Freud, consciously learning that unconsciously I have preferences and agendas, I bring some of those “unconscious agendas” into light, and then I realize they weren’t really unconscious to begin with.
It’s like exploring without really knowing why but somehow you have a sense, a hunch where to go - fully convinced and comfortable going in that certain direction.
THE ID, EGO and SUPEREGO
Essentially your instinct, reality and morality, these three dictate the direction of your life.
You could put it in this way, the Id and the Superego are green and red lines respectively, and the ego would be you. Green, or the Id, represents where you want to be, where you feel good, where you feel the most comfort. Red, on the other hand, represents where you need to be, where you feel right. You, the ego, is the judge, you compromise alternatively, to best serve what both lines want. You try to combine, merge them, to point in one single direction.
You do this unknowingly and unconsciously. Even if you try to be conscious about them they are beyond our human threshold of perception.
Sometimes your indecisive ego would just “flip a coin” and follow whoever it feels like following. You won’t know why. You can’t explain why either.
But although you would never know your “core why” in life, knowing about our unconscious tendencies sheds a light to why we act in different ways sometimes. By understanding the philosophy of Sigmund Freud, one can understand that each and everyone of us is serving a purpose. We do things because there’s something within us, even if we don’t know it, that wants something, needs something done.
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The Spotlight of the Mind
When was the last time you put your full, undivided attention on something? on someone? When was the last time you mindfully put something on your own little spotlight?
In our fast-paced world nowadays, Multi-tasking is the norm, and more often than not, we breeze through our activities as if they’re routine - missing all the things they [these activities] can offer. We forget the fact that, being mindful of the little things we do can lead us to appreciate the experience with greater feelings and with greater value.
For example, listening to music mindfully, albeit with your eyes closed, while understanding and internalizing each and every lyric, and feeling the rhythm of each beat, can actually lead one to connect these lyrics to our own experiences in life - giving the song more value, as something we can be sentimental and appreciative with. It is as if one was listening to the song for the first time, as now one has not only heard it with only the ears, but with the heart as well.
On a more personal note, I have a hard time being mindful of activities. It’s either I cannot invest enough time to become engrossed, or I get distracted by other activities as well. Recently, I never had the chance to place myself in a state of mindfulness and just “experience the experience as if I was doing it for the first time”.
But I do remember the last time I had a chance to be in a state of mindfulness. It was back home in Iloilo, before I came to Manila for college - and it was a late night walk with someone.
“Two months have passed and everything was still so clear, as if it happened only last night.”
It was the last day of July, and the school’s event was just nearing its end. We already had a couple of drinks in our system, and everyone was at least tipsy or was getting there. I promised this girl, a long-time friend who I used to like so much way-back when, that I’d take her home when she’s ready to go home. And so I did.
Now, I used to walk with different people all the time. We’d go from one place to another to eat, drink or just explore. But we’ve always neglected the walking - We don’t remember the journey, just the destination.
But I never thought I’d feel so different walking with this girl. Every step I was wary, every stride I calculated - I never knew I could walk so fast! I had to slow down the pace, I don’t want to get to the destination that quickly! I had the chance to engage in a conversation with her that I never imagined we could have. The feel of her hand against mine - tugging me to get me to go where she wants, the soft tone of her deep voice, her sleepy eyes looking at me waiting for a reply, and her sweet smile once I do - are some things I never would have noticed if I just stuck to the routine-like task of just getting her home safe just for the sake of it.
After dropping her off, I thought to myself, “Man, I could not wait to walk with her again.”
Walking with someone is a very common thing. But most of the time, both of the people walking do not realize the beauty of walking together. Being mindful while walking with someone allows two people to form a more intimate bond with each other, to be able to notice the qualities that make the person himself or herself, to be able to see the quirks, hear the voices and know the little things.
Call it cliche, but this may be the reason why late night walks are often the most common trope in romance movies, because two people mindful of each other create a surefire connection with one other, no matter the differences they have.
Being mindful of the smallest of activities can enable one to unlock these activities’ potential in making more meaningful values and sentiments on things, places and people - giving us, more things to be able to cling on, to rely on, to look forward to, and to something to be happy about.
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Emotion Spectrum
How do we react to our day-to-day situations? How do we connect these to our beliefs and actions?
Emotions are very powerful forces within us, thus the different emotions have strong controls over our decisions, actions and beliefs.
Paul Ekman gave five different emotions in the spectrum: Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust.
These infographics show how my Emotions are triggered by a model. An activating event combined with my beliefs bring up a consequence that is fueled by that certain emotion.
These infographics paved the way for a realization and an enlightenment on my part where I was able to see how my emotions are triggered by what, and how they manifest in my actions.
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Selective Perceptions
We humans are unique - unique with any other species and unique from each other. We are the only species that is highly capably of cognitive thinking. A recall from my previous post: we humans have a second system of thinking that represses, corrects and aides our instinctive first system.
But although this is the case, these systems can still make errors, as these systems would always have biases. Dubbed as Cognitive Biases, these would commonly surface during the thought process.
So what is a Cognitive Bias?
A cognitive bias is a mistake in reasoning, evaluating, remembering, or other cognitive process, often occurring as a result of holding onto one's preferences and beliefs regardless of contrary information.
“We either see the real truth or our own truth”
How do these biases manifest?
Cognitive Biases come in different forms. Most of them pattern themselves by judging, preferring and associating it to an intrinsic quality the self, someone else or something has. Examples of some of the most common forms of these biases that you would see in society would include:
1. Bandwagon Effect: Probability of a person adopting a belief if a large number of people also hold that belief.
2. Representative Heuristics: If something has a similar characteristic to that of a certain group, that something is therefor part of that group.
3. Choice-Supportive Bias: Preferring a choice that gives a feeling of positivity even if the choice itself has flaws.
4. Confirmation Bias: Listening only to information that confirms one’s perceptions.
5. Fundamental Attribution Error: Association of behavior to an innate quality rather than the circumstance or situation currently experienced.
6. Halo or Horns Effect: Taking one attribute of someone as a basis for explaining every other subsequent action or characteristic of that person.
“Don’t be fooled by this fire’s apparent cuteness, it will still burn everything.”
Cognitive Biases are things you have to watch out for
Cognitive Biases are common, but their effects can range from something you can laugh at to something you should be genuinely terrified about.
I think most people can relate if I say that the most common or the most frequent cognitive biases I fall for would be: The Halo or Horns Effect, False Consensus Bias and Choice-Supportive Bias.
Something about these biases make me [and I think most people] intrinsically more comfortable.
The Halo and, or Horns Effect is a common and a very dangerous bias, often exploited by con-men and spies all over the world. It is easy [in my case] to latch on to a significant quality of a person and base all other judgements with and to that quality. The sayings, “First impressions last” or “Love is blind” are essentially nods to this effect. Most of the time, once a “halo” or a “horn” has been established, it would be difficult for the mind to see the person in a different light.
I have been a victim of this effect. I chased after a girl for a year, even if most of the people I know told me to stop, because apparently she was not the person I saw her as. I have established her “halo”, and with that I completely ignored and disproved of all the things they said that were not-so-good about her. Even though in the end, I realized that they were saying was right.
“Just because she looks angelic doesn’t mean she’s truly angelic”
(No hate towards my baby Janella. She’s an angel outside and inside.)
The Choice-Supportive Bias is a bias everyone is guilty about. I will not believe you if you say otherwise. It is choosing something that makes you feel good, even if the choice itself isn’t necessarily that good. It’s defending a bad decision because that decision came off as easier than the good one.
I’ve made bad decisions because they were easier, and they made me feel good in the short run. I’ve neglected making the right decisions because they were tedious and needed more sacrifices.
I gave up someone who I genuinely cared about, and who cared about me because the decision of waiting for her did not make me feel good at all. I never truly stopped liking her, and I couldn’t bring myself to like anyone else, but the fact that I was defending my decision of letting her go, even if that decision sucked, was the clear evidence of the terrifying effect of the Choice-Supportive Bias. Following that bias would only result to one feeling in the long run: Regret.
Finally, The Bandwagon Effect is the most common cognitive bias among large groups of people in society. Most of the time, what’s in is what’s hyped up. Essentially it’s going with the flow, even if that flow legitimately sucks.
I’m guilty of the bandwagon effect, because my current NBA Team is the Golden State Warriors, as a result of going with the flow during the 2016 season. Everyone was Golden State, so I’m going Golden State.
How do we fight back these biases?
It’s rather simple really.
First, we have to admit the fact that WE ARE FOOLS - slaves to our emotions, pains and pleasures.
We need to accept that we are very much gullible and fragile. We need support, we need to keep sane. Therefore sometimes we resort to these biases to avoid pains and feel pleasures. It’s normal human nature - and it is foolish.
Most of the time we just have to lower our egos and accept that we have these flaws, and we are vulnerable to these flaws.
Second, we must avoid MAKING ASSUMPTIONS. We have to avoid believing we are right or in the right path. By believing that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, our heads are more likely to cover every logical and rational part of the thinking process, mitigating the probability of the mind to create biases that would just serve our emotions.
Finally, we have to TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY, but not in a selfish way. We might be surprised that, by lowering our egos, taking responsibility for errors and giving credit to people around us, we actually do more progressive work that being self-centered and egotistic.
Most of the time, our biases get the best of us. We might not even realize that our actions have been influenced by a bias already. All we have to do is, once aware of that bias, recognize it, and try our best to avoid falling for it again. We may talk to people who have noticed it, who have been saying things that you disregarded, in order to get input on how we could avoid them in the future.
Cognitive Biases are everywhere beware, once caught, escape and never go back again.
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Talking Minds
The mind is very complex. It is possible to explore every corner of our planet, but it is impossible to explore every corner of the human mind. Inside our minds, is a very complicated system of processes. Processes that direct who we are, what we want and what we will become.
THE TWO VOICES IN OUR HEADS
According to the Daniel Kahnehman in his book: Thinking, Fast and Slow, the mind has what we can refer to as System 1 and System 2 - the former responsible for our instinctive tendencies, albeit the source of our impressions and judgements, and the latter being responsible for our rationality and reason.
Our System 1 works automatically. We are very much unaware of it. Our System 2 however, is our sense of control. All our choices come from our System 1s, but our decisions come from our System 2s.
As you are reading this text, your System 1 is working non-stop: giving you intuitions, judgements, inputs and whatnot about this here text you’re reading. It suggests actions to your System 2: Will you comment on it? Will you commend it? Will you shun it?
It all depends on what your System 1 thinks, and what your System 2 decides to do about it.
“I’ve always envisioned my thought process to involve two people. It’s always an interaction between two people, in different possible scenarios.”
THE TWO SELVES WITHIN US
Diving deeper in his texts, Kahneman also says that there is a more complex system governing these systems in how they work. These serve as the basis for System 1 and System 2 for their decisions and actions. Kahneman calls these “more complex” systems as The Remembering Self and The Experiencing Self, with the former being the most powerful influence of the Systems as it is based on what we humans have each personally experienced, and the latter being a more liberal approach to what the Systems are capable of doing.
Kahneman’s description of the two selves in a nutshell is simple: The Remembering Self bases all system decisions on memories, specifically memories of pain: in peak adversity and of separation. The Experiencing Self is pretty self-explanatory. It bases all system decisions on the thrill of experiencing itself.
THE TAKE AWAY
I think what’s striking in Kahneman’s explanation of our thinking is that, there is always balance in how we think. Our systems cannot work one sided. We ourselves, cannot be one sided.
This learning is very much applicable not just to me, but to most of us: We all have voices in our heads. We all listen to all they have to say no matter how out-of-this-world it may get, and that’s not a bad thing.
It is good that System 1 has an automatic response for almost anything we encounter. But it is also good to let System 2 take over every once in a while.
It is good to remember our painful memories as it would help us grow in order for us to avoid going through them again, and it is also good to live in the moment, and just experience an experience for the sake of it.
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Split , but not actually
GLOBAL SELF + LOCAL SELF = IDENTITY
Split, but not actually - Globalization is upon us, and it doesn’t show any hint of stopping anytime soon. For most of us, the rapid, sudden and somehow unchallenged influx of different cultures around the world, each with their own “international branding”. This affects us, our identities, as we now have this vast array of additional “upgrades” to our selves, in the form of products, information, ideas and worldviews.
Photo by Harry Edmonds
So, now our identities are SPLIT - into local version and a global one, a local one, for our interactions within our own home community, and a global one for our interactions with people outside it. BUT NOT ACTUALLY as this combination actually makes up the entirety of our identities, albeit giving us a Hybrid one.
ME = LOCAL ME + GLOBAL ME
Which aspects of myself are global? Which are local?
Having a hybrid identity means having different aspects of yourself be patterned or programmed to exemplify a local or global function. The aspects of self that exemplify one’s hybrid identity would be in the way of speech, the kind of personality, the habits possessed regarding everyday activities, the choice of vocabulary, decisions, and judgements. Essentially all of these aspects are both global and local, but they differ in version, depending on the situation and context one finds themselves in.
It is not necessarily so that global identity automatically only entails one’s self in an international context. It can also be applicable in just a national level, within your own country, just as long as it is outside your local or your home community.
In my context, I am a pure Filipino born and raised in the Philippines. More specifically, I am from Iloilo, who has roots from Kalibo, Aklan, both provinces in the Visayas. I am currently living in Quezon City, Metro Manila, which is situated in Luzon. The thoughts, expressions and feelings I have, as well as the experiences differ from my “local” identity in Iloilo, than my “global” identity in Manila.
An example would be that in Iloilo, my local identity thinks on impulse, as I feel more secure and comfortable, as they have been shaped by experiences of being at home with family and friends. Whereas in Manila, my global identity kicks in. I behave in a way that I did when I had trips abroad. My global identity thinks carefully, as I feel much more at an unease as everything feels unfamiliar and mysterious, as my experiences are still not enough to remove the sense of being alien to the place and to the lifestyle of the area.
What can we take I away from this? What did I take away from this?
One significant insight we all could take away from this would be, our hybridity is not defined by just our traits, personalities, speech, language, lifestyles, choices, like and dislikes, interests, and goals specifically. We could be a KPOP fan in our local identity but not in our global one. We could be embrace Filipino ideology and identity in our social media posts, but embrace American lifestyles in our day-to-day routines.
We could say that our hybrid identities are not dictated by how much local and, or foreign culture we take into ourselves, but in how we put those cultures into use in the different situations we find ourselves in.
“Superman also had a local and global identity.”
Our identities are defined by how we choose and decide to present ourselves in the different contexts life puts us in.
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