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" 'course i mean it. " oliver doesn't know how much that means to felix anymore. before this, he had known exactly what to do— place his cards on the table, allow felix to examine them, to pick one at random & force oliver to play it. & oliver was happy to do so.

he was happy to play pretend, he realises. he was happy to sit back & allow felix to tell him what he wants ( what he needs ), to change something about himself to fit a narrative he knows would appease such a god.

isn't that what religion is? to pick yourself apart, find what is most favourable & present it to your chosen deity, discard what is no longer needed? that's all oliver is: a devoted disciple. who else can say that?

a lump forms in the back of his throat. blue eyes cast downward, fixated on the dashboard of the car, on the markings in the surface & the imperfections that stick out like a sore thumb.

" ... i love you, felix. " he watches his words now, for he knows that once he starts, he won't stop. " i love you more'n anyone. you're my— my only friend. i dunno how t' act around you, so... so i made everything up. made everything worse. " after all, who doesn't love a charity case?

" just wanted you t' love me, too. "

he's gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles are turning white, sitting and seething in quiet for the last ten minutes of the drive back to saltburn. felix is the type to show everything on his face, his heart on his sleeve, and conversely, he can't hide his anger or hurt. felix plays the part of an optimistic fool well, and it's a damn good thing, too. especially since oliver has been performing all along. somewhere along the way, felix has given him the impression that oliver had to do so to be accepted by him, and his guilt gnaws at the inside of his cheeks. "oh, and you mean it?" he spits back, unable to quell the urge to lash out and it ricochets, has him steeling his jaw to resist saying anything else hurtful. felix had been trying so hard to get to know oliver back at oxford, the real oliver, practically clobbering him over the head with charm and acceptance but they still somehow got their wires crossed. he'd tried to clue him in on how things were with his family and their unfaltering judgement, their rigid traditional ways, and then felix had lost oliver in saltburn. "that's not enough. being vague has gotten you this far, but it'll get you no further," felix argues, suddenly hitting the brakes and stalling the engine, removing the keys from the ignition as an icy glare flickers over to oliver's contrite face. an ultimatum. they've been misunderstanding each other and now they're at a point where felix may have to draw him a fucking map, in regards to repairing their friendship and also on how to get home.

[dogeats]

I'm Your Man, Mitski /// “you said the lambs were ready,” come the slumberless to the land of nod, Traci Brimhall /// I WILL BE GOOD AS LONG AS YOU WANT ME, @thegirlhoodtheory /// 'the reciprocity of the attack dog and the hand that holds the short leash' (edited), @brutaliakhoa /// Moon Song, Phoebe Bridgers /// Still Life Based on Hunting (detail), c. 1665-1701, David De Koninck /// It Will Come Back, Hozier /// "you’ve always been more of a dog person," @tdaspoetry

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number one enforcer of the "ol.iver quick is a dog" portrayal but may i present... for ur consideration... ol.iver quick is a flea....

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@felixferitas sent : " you may not realise this, but i've been pretty damn patient with you already. " ( post felix meeting the quicks? )

which is worse: being caught in a lie, or the storm that follows? oliver thinks he had understood everything. he kept his cards close to his chest. he turned his phone off, ignored every call, every message, every voicemail— & all for nothing.

oliver's head spins. they've been sitting in felix's car, halfway down the street, in silence for the past ten minutes ( he's counted ) & nothing he thinks of saying seems right. not when felix is bristling with unspoken anger & betrayal.

you may not realise this, but i've been pretty damn patient with you already.

there it is again: that wave of nausea, crashing over him in an attempt to drown him completely. " felix— "

what is he supposed to say this time? the words get caught in his throat &, for the first time since this elaborate lie started, oliver doesn't have an answer, other than:

" 'm sorry. "

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@signetied asked : " what? is there some rule against having fun? "

oliver scoffs. " nothin' against havin' fun, no. just— " don't need you getting so drunk you forget where you are. my domain, my domain, my domain. a small, condescending smile, & the shot on the table in front of him is brought back up to his lips, knocked back in a matter of seconds. he nudges the empty glass back over toward farleigh, dull blue eyes locked on every movement the young man makes. " don't wanna embarrass yourself, do ya? "

saltburn is empty now. every member of staff had been fired shortly after oliver took up residence— & it's obvious, what with the mould growing inside, the cobwebs & dust, the smell permeating from what had been felix's room.

not his anymore. what was it that he had said to you, all those years before? you don't belong here.

foot taps against the wooden floor beneath them, & oliver speaks again, blackened lungs wheezing with each breath. " y'heard about your aunt, 'm assumin'. why else would ya agree t' come back? "

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Angry & Irritated Sentences, Vol. 20

(Angry and irritated sentences from various sources. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Why do I get a feeling that no isn't an option here?"

"I have limited tolerance for being ambushed."

"You may not realise this, but I've been pretty damn patient with you already."

"I don't know who you are or who you work for, but I don't care. I'm leaving."

"Now see here, if you're going to make personal remarks, then I won't stay a minute."

"You just slide through life, don't you? And everything just slides off you."

"What? Is there some rule against having fun?"

"Don't be an asshole. Do you want to hear this or not?"

"I don't have to tell you who I've slept with!"

"I suppose you think you're very clever."

"Yeah, whatever. I have enough belief for both of us, okay?"

"That was a really stupid thing to do!"

"These people trusted you and you betrayed them!"

"It is nobody's business how old I am!"

"I'm competing for your attention again, aren't I?"

"Ignoring the truth doesn't make it a lie."

"Now, I'm not calling you dumb. I'm just saying that some of the things you do are dumb!"

"You were doing so well. Now you're being simply foolish."

"I will not be spoken to this way!"

"You are good, but you're not that good."

"You know, your arrogance is one of the big reasons why you're not further ahead with your career."

"You're following me. I don't care to be followed."

"You shouldn't have interfered. You'll pay for this."

"You keep promising that, but I don't see anything happening!"

"I can take care of myself just fine, alright?"

"I wonder if you even know you're lying."

"I like to keep my private life private, okay?"

"I know what you're doing. I also know it's going to get you killed."

"Notice how I didn't need to lower myself to your level?"

"Shh, don't talk! I want to hear what happens!"

"One day, you will wake up and wonder 'why is my life such a completely chaotic mess?'."

"I appreciate this concern, but I'm not like you, alright?"

"Are you trying to embarrass me?"

"I'm not going to take lectures on professionalism from you!"

"You just had to keep digging. You couldn't let it go, could you?"

"Of all the lies people tell themselves, I bet that's the most common."

"This is none of my business. I don't want to hear it."

"The fact that you won't explain explains everything."

"You're working way too hard to piss me off. It makes me think you're hiding something."

"I'm old, not stupid."

[dogeats]

noah ross / jennifer gennari / roadkill - searows / st. bernard - lincoln / thegirlhoodtheory / richard siken

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oliver core

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sleeves are tugged upward, pinned where he thinks they should fall, but are forgotten about the moment felix offers to fix them. he shouldn't like being a damsel, a charity case, as so many of felix's friends had called him when convinced he wasn't listening, but there's something about the way felix looks at him upon offering his assistance that keeps him acting such a way.

" no, nothing's wrong, 'm just— " a breath, & oliver offers up his wrists, his arms, his soul for felix to fix. " i dunno. y'sure it looks okay? i could've... there's a rental in town, i could've rented one. " is renting one worse? oliver doesn't know. farleigh had certainly made it seem so—

a lump forms in oliver's throat, & he has half a mind to tear himself from felix's grip, to tell him to forget it, that he'd skip dinner altogether ( like the night before, & the night before that ). " ... sorry. i, uh— i dunno if your family likes me much. "

it's true. oliver doesn't know whether the cattons like him or not, but he doesn't care for their opinion, either. all that matters is felix's opinion, felix's attention, felix. " guess it's just gettin' t' me. "

sometimes you have to give yourself to someone else and put the past behind you . And remember that this isn't the boy of summer who ruined you before .

The boy who was named Eddie your first mistake in a sea of many that were all thrown away like trash broken things pretty things just like the one's of the past that were lucky enough to be in his world and loved by him and yet oliver was different and he wanted to make his summer better and see if this is the one.. the right ONE .

Standing in his room at saltburn Felix looked at Oliver and he saw him in his suit from school that fit him or came close to fitting him as can be ..you dress for dinner in saltburn and dress for dinner they will . Hearing what he asked him Felix who was dressed up fancy as well moved closer to him wanting to fix the suit sleeves so they fit nicely but he did look good . They always do .

"you look good Ollie . Just the sleeves are too long and the suit looks big on you .. but you look perfect I mean I like it .. what's going on ? You can tell me anything I won't judge you I promise . This place is a bit old fashioned but it's home and I like having you here with me .. can I fix it for you ? If you want me to . "

He tried to ignore his desires and his needs because he had to be a friend to his new toy and nothing more . This need was becoming an obsession and Felix felt closer to Oliver and that was dangerous. Never let yourself want someone else because love is cruel and you have to be a Catton sir Felix Catton one day . He didn't want that life he wanted other things to be free..

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" no. " it's abrupt, blunt, biting— but oz doesn't care. he should have kept his mouth shut. he shouldn't have doubted felix's suggestion, should have accepted it, tongue in cheek, like a good dog would. he hopes his obedience now is enough. " no, i— i want t'. give it. "

the spliff is snatched from between slender fingers & oliver raises it to his lips, holding it there for a moment before inhaling. he's not doing this for the high, of course— he's doing this for felix. he's doing this to get closer to the young man's lips, to taste him, him, him. anything for him. pressing the spit-soaked end of the joint to his lips & sucking is better than any high he could get from the drug.

his inhalation comes to an abrupt end, however, when oliver erupts into a series of coughs, offering the blunt back to the other guy. " ch— christ, " he grunts, laughing awkwardly. " sorry. 'm not— not good, uh, at this. "

felix blinks owlishly, the offending offered cigarette perched between two slender fingers gradually being retracted as he worries the swell of his lip between his teeth. "i mean. yes? it's just a spliff, mate. i know they say it's a gateway drug -- but that's a bunch of drivel, in my opinion." reagan and thatcher's policy changes decades ago influencing today's cultural climate, he reckons. not that he'd know personally, only having rudimentary knowledge aside from what his father's told him. "don't feel pressured. but, maybe you should back to yours, yeah? don't wanna give you a contact high or something." a look of guilt flickers on his face, then. "fuck, i'm an idiot. i understand these are precarious waters for you to traverse anyhow."

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oliver fights back a smile. he's gotten under farleigh's skin— it's surprisingly easy to do so— but it's harder to play the fool, to be innocent in the eyes of everyone else. he never instigates. poor old oliver quick is too cowardly to poke the bear, after all. it's not his fault farleigh has a temper.

" y'thought i was fun last night, " comes his reply, legs folded up beneath his body & a shiny smile plastering itself across pale lips. " you remember, right? or did the that— " he motions toward the tube, " fry your brain? "

fingers work to put the plug back in the neon tube, before he tucks it back into the pocket of his trousers. it had felt like a long summer already, and no matter how hard he'd tried, he still couldn't quite seem to shake himself clean of the man of the year, the oliver quick. head twists upon anchor, dark eyes focusing upon the other before a sneer is given. ❛❛ oh, i should, should i? ❜❜ he questions, almost mocking oliver in the rebuttal. ❛❛ you know what i think? i think you should try some, it might lighten you up a little bit, you know, make you more fun to be around. ❜❜

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@felixferitas liked for a one-liner.

" are y'sure this is a good idea? "

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@signetied liked for a one-liner.

" y'should really go easy on all that. y'know— the coke, n' stuff. "

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@everyoneismytoy liked for a one-liner.

" i, uh— don't think this fits me, fel. you're way taller'n me... "

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hello (: like this for a one-liner!!

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General Sentences, Vol. 15

(Assorted original sentences. Adjust phrasing where needed)

"Are you trying to bribe me?"

"You're sitting in my chair."

"I'm sorry I doubted you."

"I had to kill him."

"Why are you dressed like that?"

"Why do you have a gun?"

"Did anyone ever tell you that you're annoying?"

"Aren't you curious about why I'm here?"

"Do you want to go to jail?"

"Let's play truth or dare!"

"I was expecting you in my office 20 minutes ago."

"You're being a jerk!"

"You're not scared?"

"Did I say anything stupid?"

"You're not responsible for your brother."

"You can't ignore me forever!"

"I'm afraid you're going to have to live to see another day."

"I'm not drunk!"

"What do you mean you're married?"

"You are about to make a huge mistake."

"Sorry, am I boring you?"

"You have an honest face."

"Would you care to be a little more specific?"

"I assume you're here for a reason. What do you want from me?"

"Does your conscience let you sleep?"

"Why don't you trust me anymore?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"I had to do what I thought was right."

"You'd be nothing without me."

"May I have this dance?"

"What's really going on here?"

"I know you didn't mean to hurt me, and that should count for something, but it doesn't. It just doesn't."

"I'm only doing this because I care about you."

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Fire of Love (Sara Dosa, 2022)