Reasons to date me: We'd eat pizza and listen to good music together and we'd probably fuck 14 times a week.
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anonymous compliments are so cute like their only aim is to make you feel better, they dont want any respect or personal thanks, just the satisfaction knowing they made someones day, now how fricken cute is that am i right
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being a girl is really fucking expensive
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My dad has officially ruined my whole fucking July 4th weekend he was suppose to leave and leave me the free till Saturday wtTFFFf And he did NOT Leave and now he's saying he's NOT going yo leave. uH lmhello I'm suppose to have people coming ovet
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Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic.
Frida Kahlo (via yasodhara)
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I admit....I am a flirt. And I do know what I'm doing with them.
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When all the love songs and sad songs make you think only about that one person..
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If my son were gay,
I’d slap him
With a nice high five.
Because coming out to your dad,
Takes balls that most men don’t have.
If my son were gay,
I’d beat the hell out of him.
Because he said he was better than me
At Super Smash.
(He basically was asking
For me to kick his ass.)
If my son were gay,
I’d kick him out of the house.
Because why waste June on video games,
When there are sports to be played?
And just because he likes making out with boys,
Doesn’t mean he can’t tackle the shit out of them, too.
If my son were gay,
I’d call him a douche.
But only because this morning,
He ate the last peanut butter cup in the house.
(The jerk knows they’re my favorite.)
If my son were gay,
I’d still give him the talk.
I just wouldn’t have to worry about a baby in nine months.
If my son were gay,
I’d make fun of what he wears.
Because damn, son,
Those heels don’t go with that dress.
If my son were gay,
I’d tell him to be proud.
Because you’re human no matter the gender
On the other side of your mouth.
If my son were gay,
Nothing would be different at all.
Except that twenty years down the line,
I’ll be expecting a handsome son-in-law.
Nishat Ahmed, “If My Son Were Gay" (via trust)
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