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[disneymaniac16]

look man. look

essek saying "bren" out loud, claiming a position on caleb's side as the mouthpiece of his regards to astrid, did something to me. i can't tell if it opened a wound or punched me or gave me a hug. all i know is that i am feeling so many emotions right now

more under the cut because i'm about to get rambly:

"bren aldric ermendrud" is a separate character from caleb widogast. he's a young boy learning how to make magic. he's a deeply traumatized and indoctrinated teenager. he's the boy who curled up with astrid and eadwulf in a freezing tower for warmth all night.

essek never met bren. he met caleb and he's never known him as anyone else. if i'm remembering correctly, caleb never even said the name "bren" to him during the campaign, and neither did any of the nein.

essek knows caleb widogast. he knows the man who held up the object of his worst crime and then kissed him in the bowels of a ship and made a floor of infinite stars for them to walk through together. he knows the person who healed over bren's wounds—thinly, but enough. he knows the man that the boy has become.

astrid knows bren. she barely knows who caleb is. she still calls him bren after hearing him referred to as caleb repeatedly. she can't know him as the man he is, she only knows the boy. there's some of bren in caleb, but there is no caleb in bren.

essek saying "bren sends his regards" is him gauging astrid's reaction, on one level—if she freaks out, which she did, she's in opposition to caleb's cause and thus a threat. on another level, it's essek delivering a very different subtextual message from caleb: "the boy who loved you is giving you one final warning."

because essek is a threat to astrid. their last meaningful interaction was slinging spells at each other in the blooming grove. and that's funny in a "current boyfriend vs ex girlfriend exclusively fight each other" kind of way, but it's also deeply tied to caleb's recurring theme of transformation. "bren sends his regards" also means "i have healed enough to love enough for someone else to know this name and use it with my consent. and this someone else is your enemy. what does that make you think i've become?"

it also does a fantastic job of communicating subtle offscreen discussions that have happened over the years since the end of c2. we don't have the details of when or how caleb told essek his birth name, but we know that he did, and we know from all of c2 that the name bren occupies a place of immense emotional weight for caleb. it functions similarly to a deadname in terms of who uses it and for what purpose. trent exclusively calls caleb bren to wound him and place himself in a position of power. astrid calls him bren to remind both him and herself of who they used to be—same with eadwulf, though obviously he's not here.

the first time we hear essek say "bren" is on caleb's behalf and confronting one of the narrative representations of caleb's trauma. it's four words that manage to communicate "i, your enemy on a hundred levels, can speak for both the man i love and the boy who loved you, because i know him in his entirety."

astrid knows bren and essek knows caleb, but only essek can speak for both. because at some point, caleb gave bren to essek. and we know this from four words. four IMPROVISED words.

god. this moment is just so fucking good

[disneymaniac16]

"bren sends his regards" is such a crazy way to tell astrid what's going on. maximum amount of info delivered in the shortest way possible. hey astrid, it's me, essek. caleb sicced me after your conniving ass cause he's too busy to schedule you in. the NERVE of calling him bren to astrid's face. hello astrid. it's me, essek. do you miss bren? have you ever known caleb? a dead boy asked me to find you. you're a single bullet point on his to-do list. do you regret any of this? successor, usurper, does it matter? you're just like ikithon, no matter what you think you are. you are still just like him. bren sends his regards. he didn't care to come here himself. antimagic. pinned to a wall. essek's outright disdain towards her. The Disrespect. i feel so alive

[disneymaniac16]

If i drew enough reunion hugs in preparation, one of them had to be accurate! (4 of 6 is pretty good!)

[disneymaniac16]

Sending Stone Messages

A list for me that I want to update as new ones come in! Which w/ Dorian back, hopefully not so much (But i think I found all of them so far)

Bonus Ep 6 - Orym gripping the sending stone while Dorian was away

Ep 16 Fearne - right after Dorian leaves 

Ep 22 Orym — “We’re leaving Jrusar, heading southeast. Following the Treshi thread further. You’ve been missed. Hope you’re well.

Dorian — “Hey, sorry. Was sleeping. Thanks. Miss you guys too. Shit got crazy here too. Floating bar, I’ll tell you later. 

Ep 31  Orym — “Hey friend. Missing you here. Could really use your special brand of optimism right now. Don’t know where you are. Hope you’re happy. Bye now.”

Dorian — “Hey! Floating bar got a little weird. Took awhile to land it. This side of the fam is keeping me busy. Miss you all too- Don’t die!”

Bonus Ep 33 - Sending stone falling from Orym's hand as he dies from Otohan

Ep 40  Orym — “Hey. Yios bound. Found them- their killers. Bigger than we thought. Read rough, Dorian. Eshteross is dead. Glad you’re not here, wish you were anyway.”

Ep 41  Dorian (via Robbie)— “Oh Orym~ My heart aches I cannot be there to help you. Find strength, stay steadfast. Sending you fairer winds. …. Is this thing on or-“

Ep 49 Orym — “Dorian. Update. People we’re chasing unleashing hell in a week. We’re headed there now. Odds not good. More tomorrow. Where are you?

Dorian — “Orym! With the rest of the Crown Keepers in Tal’Dorei. Opal’s getting a little dark. Little busy at the moment.. I don’t even know how to get to you.”

Ep 49 Orym — “Listen, what’s going on over here is really bad. Get the group, get underground. Stay there until you hear from me again… Miss you”

Dorian — “I'll see what I can do. There’s plenty of places underground, I’m sure. It's a little hairy on this end too. You take care of yourself. Be careful”

Ep 59  Orym — “Dorian?? Can you hear me? what’s the sky look like where you are? Tell me you’re okay-“

Ep. 63 Orym — “Dorian. still alive, by the skin of our teeth. want to talk more. you know where Dariax is?’

Bonus I miss you - Ep. 79  "I really miss Dorian and sometimes I think that's okay and sometimes it isn't."

Ep 86 Orym — “Dorian, we’re alive. Been to the moon, going back. Find the tempest. If I don’t get the chance again, I’ve really missed you.”

Ep 92 Orym — "We're home. Can you hear me? I'm northeast of Bassuras. Can you get there? I'm... struggling. Sorry. Can you get here? Fuck, I miss you."

Ep 93 Dorian (Robbie back) - "I'll be there"

[disneymaniac16]

Marwan Kenzari as Yusuf al-Kaysani The Old Guard (2020)

Character Intro Post, via @Skydance on Instagram, June 23rd 2020

TOG Promo Material (Part 6/?)

[disneymaniac16]

warm, quiet moment.

[disneymaniac16]

if you're wondering how things are going over on the bird website, Green Day was on New Years Rockin Eve last night and performed American Idiot with the slight line change of saying "not a part of the MAGA agenda" instead of "redneck agenda" and conservatives are FUCKING PISSED talking about "how dare they make it political" because none of them have a single ounce of media literacy

[disneymaniac16]

The plot of Macbeth was acted out by the Muppets. Miss Piggy as Lady Macbeth is the best thing I have ever witnessed and the only thing I really remember from it.

[disneymaniac16]

[disneymaniac16]

sorry if i’m being a party pooper but because rabies is apparently the new joke on here ??? please remember that rabies has an almost 100% fatality rate after symptoms develop so if you’re bitten or scratched by an animal that you aren’t 100% sure is vaccinated then GO TO A DOCTOR. it’s not a joke. really. 

[disneymaniac16]

Platonic marriage has such a special fluffy little nook in my heart because it highlights the importance of marriage being a partnership and not just the next step in a romantic ballad. Like these people don't have sexual or romantic feelings for one another but they acknowledge the fact that they love each other more than anyone else in the world and want to spend the rest of their lives together. They're best friends, a package deal, they are one. They might even raise kids together idk.

[disneymaniac16]

"In Jrusar, if you are lucky, you might come across Ephred, the master pastry chef known as the Shadow Baker." Spot illustration for Critical Role and Penguin Random House's recently released Exquisite Exandria. This one was for the Muffins of the Shadow Baker recipe!

Characters are Liz Marsham, Susan Vi and Matthew Mercer's Shadow Baker.

[disneymaniac16]

Finished another piece from the mighty nein coloring book just in time for the second reunion reveal, I cannot believe we'll soon get to see them all again!!

[disneymaniac16]

[ What happens in the ingredients closet, stays in the ingredients closet... ]

Some fun with my and my husband's characters, Vivaan (left) & Nico (right.)

These two had a bit of a fling when they were younger and dumber. Years later they are close friends who send each other pages long letters...ah..youth...

[disneymaniac16]

the way these strikes get framed is always so funny to me

"the strike could stretch on until the end of summer" or the execs could pay their workers

"there won't be ANY new shows because of this strike" or the execs could pay their workers

"no more content for us because the mean old writers and actors are-" OR THE EXECS COULD PAY THEIR WORKERS

[disneymaniac16]

I wanted to have a picture of wfa-style kon in full superboy attire, but then I got the idea of magazine cover and I couldn’t get it out of my head, so here we are…

part 0, i guess…

[disneymaniac16]

refseek.com

www.worldcat.org/

link.springer.com

http://bioline.org.br/

repec.org

science.gov

pdfdrive.com