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Hummingbirds may look cute, but they hide a secret warrior within. Tune in Oct. 12 on PBS. 

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Benedict Cumberbath

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Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

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So last night was Food Night. As usual, Penelope was being a butt, but eventually decided that she wasn’t interested in having dinner. So I went to toss the rat in a baggie.

Apparently I got distracted by something in the meantime, cos when I went to bed a few hours later, all my stuff from the shelf over her tank was on the floor, and her tank was empty.

Great.

So search the shelves, search the floor, search the drawers. Under the bed, in the hamper, behind the catbox. Still no Penelope. Call my roommates to help me and we flip the bed. Nothing.

Now I was pretty certain she couldn’t have gotten out of the room because the door was shut and there’s no clearance for her to squeeze under, and we were in the living room so there was no way she could wiggle past us.

Commence flipping of the couch and tossing the bathroom anyway.

Just as we’re about to start tossing the guys’ room, one shouts out he’s found her.

THIS BITCH

had been sitting behind the curtain

watching us look for her ass for over half an hour at 3 in the morning.

Just downright disrespectful.

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“There will be less dick references”

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i have no idea what she’s saying but #mood

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Canadian Nightmare

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know the difference

It has come to my attention that many people mistake wyverns for dragons, so here’s a post to help you remember

Dragon: 4 legs, 2 wings

Wyvern: 2 legs, 2 wings

Drake: 4 legs, flightless

Wyrms: long snake like body with no appendages, can also appear as a traditional Chinese dragon with 4. Legs and no wings yet can fly

Amphithere: 0 legs 2 wings, can be feathered

Lindwurms: 2 legs, 0 wings, long body

Luck dragon: 4 legs, no wings, can fly, long body, furry with dog like face

Komodo dragon: 4 legs, no wings, real

Bearded dragon: 4 legs, 0 wings, often kept as pets

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but everything ended up just fine! 

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Some Owl-Gryphons

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Sassy HYDRA agent

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ok kids repeat after me

vinegar and bleach makes chlorine gas, which is highly toxic

ammonia and bleach makes chloramine, which is highly toxic

rubbing alcohol and bleach makes chloroform, which is highly toxic

hydrogen peroxide and vinegar makes peracetic/peroxyacetic acid, which can be highly corrosive

be careful about your cleaning products and dont get yourself injured or potentially killed ok

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the greatest scene in animation history

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retail story time: ive probably told you this before but like a year ago at work i was closing and we are like five minutes from closing the doors and leaving. it’s late. we close at 10pm during the holiday season and it was like 9:56 when this woman walks in with a shopping cart. 

now, if you work in retail, you know this sort of customer. those assholes who walk in right before you close and take their time shopping and act like they dont notice the announcements that “the store is now closed. please bring your final selection up to the front for checkout.” or that every employee is so fucking done for the night and want to get home. or that they are the only customer in the store. and when they have a shopping cart, you know they’re gonna be a while.

so a solid half hour after we are officially closed this woman comes to my register, because i am the only one open. because it’s ten fucking thirty pm and everyone else is ready to leave and ive been stuck here for eleven hours because someone called out and i was already there and a fucking idiot. 

and this woman, she’s a Suburban Mom ™ type and, like all the fucking moms who come into this store, she doesnt have a coupon because she expects us to just give it to her. and we will, if they ask. except i, after a solid hour of no customers and foolishly thinking nobody would come, had gotten rid of my coupons a few minutes before she walked in. so when she asks if i had a coupon i say no, i’m sorry, i don’t have one at the register. 

and this woman, she leans in and tells me “you know, i’m a professional psychic.” and i think “oh christ here we go”

and long island medium here, immune to the glares of the other employees who want her to just fucking pay and leave, goes on and on about this boy who loves me. we are soul mates, she says. destined to be. but there is a power keeping us apart. she mentions this “power” keeping me from mr. right several times. 

i, exhausted and frustrated and wanting to go home, reply “is it the power of me being a lesbian?”

she pays and leaves without another word.

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Steven Universe + Greco-Roman Mythology

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You may have seen the exuberant celebrations of David Katoatau, an Olympic weightlifter competing in the 105-kg weight class for the island nation of Kiribati.

NBC titled their video clip, “Weightlifting makes David Katoatau want to dance.”

But there’s another, solemn reason for his joyful performance. Katoatau told Reuters he wants to raise global awareness of the climate change that threatens to destroy his country. 

Video: NBC, Map: Wikimedia