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disastoruslifeofaad · 1 year ago

Note

Can you do yandere bang chan kidnapped y/n? Please :)

yandere!bangchan x fem!reader

a/n: ofcofc sorry for the wait I had to come up with *some* plot

synopsis: You didn't know he watched you for months, plotting and stalking. He just wants you to be his. Even if you might not love him in the beginning, he'll make sure you need him just as much as he needs you.

warning: MDNI 18+, /NONCON/DUBCON, kidnapping, drugging, PIV, fingering, no protection, rough face grabbing, restrains, nipple play, some asphyxiation, very slightly mentioned of piss, squirting, overstimulation, aftercare, some Stockholm syndrome towards the end

3.3k words

It could happen to anyone, at any time, at any place. It didn't matter that you had just gotten off working overtime, deciding to go late night shopping. There was no discrimination when it came to evil, to the wrong doings of people. You just happened to fall perfectly into Chris's hands for his taking.

You were lovely to him. He first noticed you a few months ago, sitting in a simple coffee shop alone. You were on your laptop, most likely working on a task that you waited to do last minute. When someone had accidentally spilled a drink on you, you just laughed it off. Not even a speck of anger on your face as you accepted their apologies and napkins.

Cute, patient, kind. All the things Chris learned about you rather quickly when he watched your every move. A homeless man in front of you was short on cash to afford a coffee? You bought it for him. A child that lost their mother in the sea of people? You didn't hesitate to help them. An angel, his angel, Chris was convinced.

It's why he waited by your car now, barely hidden by a lamp post. He had managed to get Fentanyl from his roommate. Chris's gloved hands gripped the opioid as he watched you exit the store with a few bags in hand. The gentleman part of him wanted to offer to help, take the load off you. It wouldn't be necessary though, there would be more than enough for you at your new home.

You had barely managed to rummage through your purse for your keys when a cloth clamped over your face. You blinked at first, unsure of what was exactly happening. The effects were immediate though, and your body went limp against the rigid body of another. Your vision was hazy, head was pounding, breathing was labored as this masked person picked you up bridal style.

When you finally had the ability to open your eyes all the way, you were in an unknown room. The cold air hardened your nipples, and you quickly realized you were completely nude. There were no sheets on the bed, just two pillows and the mattress. When you tried to move your arms to cover yourself, you were met with resistance. You strained your head upwards to where you saw your arms knotted together against the bed frame.

Your legs were in a similar position, though open instead. You would scream or yell if you could, but your throat was too dry to speak. All you could do was make garbled noises and weak attempts to form words. The drug your kidnapper used must've been illegal with how the effects were still lingering in your system.

Your head lolled around, eyes scanning the area. There was a dim light in the center of the room and a lamp next to the bedpost, though that one was off. It was hard to make out the room, but you quickly found two pairs of eyes watching in the corner. You squinted to make sure you were seeing what you thought you were seeing, and the figure finally shifted into sight.

Your body jerked backwards, fear running through your blood when he stalked closer to you. He wasn't that tall, but he did have wide shoulders. There was no mask on him this time as he let his bare face meet yours. Full lips, orangish hair, round cheeks and a cute chubby nose. His eyes were filled with worry, concern, and... happiness?

Chris was happy, he was in disbelief that you were actually here after so many months. He had taken the honor of stripping you down, there was no need for clothes when you were down here. His steps are careful/ginger as he approaches the bed and sits down, eyes scanning your body. Truly, you were a gift sent to him from the heavens above.

"I didn't mean to scare you," his voice startles you, "I like watching you sleep."

If you thought you were scared before, you know it's terror crashing through you now. With sudden strength, you thrash against the bonds. The man immediately stands back up, rushing to your face that he cradles in his hands almost tenderly. "No! No you're fine, you'll be fine. Hey, it's okay I'm here to explain things to you. You'll understand." There's such certainty in his voice that it sends fresh chills down your spine.

Your face is warm in his hands, wide eyes staring into his. Chris let his thumb gently stroke your cheek. In response, you try to flinch away, but his grip on you is firm. You're still too drowsy to really put up any sort of fight against him, and you're tied to his will. There's really no way you can get out of this one.

Without thinking, Chris leans in for a kiss. You weakly thrash your head around, but you can still feel his tongue trying to pry its way into your mouth. He just couldn't help himself really, not when you looked like a Michelin star meal in front of him. Chris prides himself in being a good lover, he's practiced many times with previous women for this very moment.

One of his hands trails down your neck, to your chest where he grabs one of your breasts. You're still fighting against his mouth, trying to escape his touch. A pinch on your nipple makes you squeal, back slightly arching upwards. You can feel him smile slightly into the kiss, as if he's proud of himself for making you react in such a way.

"Stop," it's only a whisper. A fleeting attempt for this man to take pity on you. He breaks the kiss and pouts, "You'll be okay baby. I promise." You think he's going to resume kissing you, but he instead focuses on your tits. Now with two hands on each one, he gropes them freely. His hands are rough, but his touch is gentle.

Each tug and pull on your nipples makes you whine. It's dully painful, but it still affects you. Perhaps it's the drugs making you so sensitive, and you pray it's also the reason why you can feel the space between your legs growing wet.

His warm mouth takes in one of your buds, tongue flicking and swirling around it. You have to bite your lower lip to keep quiet, only letting out unsteady breaths. A harsh suck makes you shiver, body chasing his mouth after he pulls away. He moves onto the next one, making sure to give it the same attention. He tweaks and pulls on your wet nipple and the stimulation makes you try to close your legs.

Chris can tell how much you're struggling to keep quiet, how wet your pussy must be getting. He's tempted to play with your folds, but he shouldn't yet. He wants you to be aching, needing him so desperately that you don't care about how he stole you in the night. So he decides to focus on your breasts until you're impatient.

It's working, much more than he had anticipated. The drug leaves you hypersensitive, groggy, unable to move freely. You can feel everything tenfold, and you're struggling to keep your moans down.

Your tits are red and swollen, your cunt most likely in the same position from neglect. You can't ignore the twitching from the insides of your walls anymore. "Please," it's full of desperation. "Please."

Chris lifts his head up from your chest, eyes locking on yours. He keeps both hands on your tits as he speaks, "Please? Please what?"

Please stop. You should say it, you should scream it. Yet here you are, red in the face, unable to speak. The man patiently waits for your response. When you don't give one, he questions you further. "You want me to stop?"

You hate how tender his hands are against you, the gentle cupping of your breasts. You suddenly wonder if he would be the same if he fingered you. His eyes are full of lust, need, but also worry. Like if you really said to stop in this moment, he would.

Deep down, you don't want him to stop. You don't want this unwanted pleasure to come to a halt. In the morning, you'll grow to hate yourself, maybe more than you hate him. Still there's no way you can confess your true desires to your capture.

Rather than forcing you to answer, Chris ghosts one of his hands down your body. His fingers tickle your stomach and leave goosebumps that make your breath hitch. It's not until he's just above your clit that he stops. His fingers don't dare to graze your sex, instead moving to the area surrounding it.

Your hips buck involuntarily, trying to get a finger to touch you where you need it most. Your movements give all the confirmation Chris needs to continue. "Aww," he can't help but coo at you sweetly. "All you have to do is ask baby. Don't be shy." He smiles lovingly at you before he lets his two fingers dip in your wet clit.

A dragged out moan escapes you at the feel of his warm fingers. He rubs on your bud, your lips, the entrance of your pussy. Sharp shocks of pleasure envelope your body. The soft squelching sounds of his touches bounce off the walls. You bite into the part of your own arm you can reach to muffle your sounds.

Chris is quick to notice your self-infliction, and he quickly reaches with his free hand to grab you by the jaw roughly.

"Don't do that," his voice is stern. "You'll hurt yourself. You can be loud here, I soundproofed the walls for you."

His words are a harsh snap back to reality. The reality is that this man took you, drugged you, and is planning to fuck you in his house. You thought it was on a whim, but now you can't help but shake the feeling that this was all planned, just for you. The way he looks at you, speaks to you like he's your lover, it all starts connecting in your mind.

You shake your head, trying to ignore how wonderfully his hands are working on you. "You're a sick bastard," your words are filled with venom. You notice his face slightly drop and fingers slow, "You just don't understand. I did this for you, for us, for our love."

That makes you scoff, words slightly slurring from the effects of the drugs, "Love? This isn't love."

Chris shakes his head at you, getting slightly irritated with how you're not willing to realize his adoration for you. "This is love. You just don't see it yet. You just have to love me back and it'll all make sense." Chris thinks that's enough for you to go back to being quiet and pliant. Instead, you spit out the one thing he's prayed you would never say to him.

"Love you back? I could never love you. I hate you."

The expression on his face is beyond heartbreak, he looks devastated. You swear you could see his soul shatter with your words. His bottom lips trembles, eyes tear up, and his voice thickens with emotion. "Hate me?" He says it like he can't believe it. "No, no you don't. You're lying."

He can't let you respond, Chris can't stand another terrible sentence you'll utter. He plunges his fingers into your cunt, effectively shutting up your vicious words with a moan. It's gonna take time, he tries to convince himself. She'll learn to love you.

You've gotten used to his slow and sweet fingers, but now he's pounding into you like he's trying to knock the air out of you. Where there was little resistance when he put them inside, now your walls were more than inviting him in. His fingers drag through your cunt, fitting snugly . You can feel the palm of his hand smacking against the lower part of your clit.

You twist and thrust your hips to accommodate his pace, but he's relentless. There's no steady rhythm, no patience. Just erratic pounding at any speed his desires. He only slows down when his hand tires, but just when you begin getting used to that he starts up again. Your slick is all over your ass, his wrists. You can't bear to look at the mess he's created.

It's not until he suddenly rips his fingers away that you peek your eyes open. The man moves to settle between your legs, hastily pulling his joggers down. His eyebrows are furrowed, nostrils flaring, lips in a tight line. He's still upset about what you said, and you start feeling slightly guilty. No, you shouldn't. He's the one that did this. He's the one that kidnapped you and thought you would fall in love with him like a delusional maniac. Still, you can't help but think that if he just talked to you like a normal person, you would've gone out with him.

Even with an angry look on his face, he's handsome. It's a fact you've been trying to ignore since you saw him. Everything about him is pretty, even the heavy cock that springs out. You shiver at the sight, licking your lips unconsciously at the red tip. His has 2 protruding veins, a girth that convinces you that your hand can barely wrap around it, and a trimmed bush above it.

Chris is too troubled to notice your gawking. He uses one hand to grip the base of his cock and the other to your hip. "You'll love me," he mutters. "You'll love me and my fucking cock." Chris pushes forward, uncaring of how you try to move away from him. He gets about halfway when he's met with your tightness. He can hear you moaning, your attempts to quiet yourself. He would've thought it was cute, but now he just thinks about how you're doing this because of your hate for him.

He pulls out a few centimeters before pushing back in, forcing his way inside. You whine, "Wait! It's too big. Please just wait-" He moves his hand from his cock to cover your mouth. You can slightly taste him on your lips, and you have no choice but to lock eyes with him. "No. You're gonna take it," his tone leaves no room for argument.

So there you lie, legs spread against his thighs as you mewl against his palm when he sinks inside of you. A throaty groan finds its way out of Chris's mouth when he's completely inside of you. He stays there for a moment to soak up the feeling. His grip on your mouth hasn't let up, and it's getting hard to breathe.

Chris gives you shallow thrusts before you're ready, and you're forced to adjust to his size. Your walls are squeezing him so tight, almost possessively. It's like your pussy can't stand the thought of being separated from him. You blame the fact that he teased you, that you're doped up.

Your breasts bounce with his strokes. His hips move more aggressively now, and there's no way you can stop yourself from being loud. He's so deep inside you, giving you surreal amounts of pleasure that makes you want to crawl out of your skin. It's overwhelming, teetering on the threshold of unbearable.

When Chris pulls his hand away from your mouth, there's a string of saliva that connects and breaks. He watches as your chest expands from deep breaths and deep moans. It's impossible for him to stay mad at you, not when you're so pretty under him. He should be nicer, this is you two’s first time. Still, he thinks he should give you some punishment for your behavior.

Chris doubts he can really consider this a punishment though,with how your eyes are rolling to the back of your head, lips twisted in pleasure. He doesn't think you notice, but you've started to drool. Chris is tempted to lick the saliva up and back in your mouth, but he doesn't. He has a very romantic idea of how your first kiss should go, and now is hardly the time.

Now that his hand is free, he uses it to stimulate your clit. You cry out, begging for him to stop, that you might wet the bed. He gives you a fake frown, "You don't have to be embarrassed about that." He rubs you a little harder. "What did I say about being shy?"

You tighten around his cock at your impending release. There's nothing for you to grab onto besides the binds. Your wrists are red and raw from struggling, but you can't focus on that right now. Not when his fingers play with your clit while his harsh thrusts hit you in all your sweet spots.

Your body tenses, legs shake when you finish. You can feel the hot release leave you like rain. Chris soothingly rubs your hips as his thighs are coated in your essence. He slows down for a moment, letting you ride out your orgasm. You pussy twitches from the aftershocks. Your sweet moans fill Chris's ears.

He resumes his pounding not long after your body stops convulsing. You squeal when he rubs your lower lips roughly, overstimulating you. He's doing it too fast, too soon. As unbelievably good it feels, you keep begging for him to stop. Even if just for a moment.

"Tell me you're sorry. That you didn't mean it," Chris groans through his words. At this point, you're willing to do anything to get this immense pleasure to stop coursing through your veins. "I'm sorry!" You sob. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it I sweaarrr!" Tears slip down your face. Your pussy is puffy and red, and you think after this you'll never want to be touched again.

Chris moans at your words, "Tell me you love me."

He knows he won't last long whether you say it or not. You're so wet and easy to fuck into that there's no way he can prolong his orgasm. There's a moment of silence, and he thinks you won't say it.

"I love you!" You wail. "I love you so much. I'm sorry I was-oh fuck!-I'm sorry I was mean. I didn-I didn't mean it, I really really love you!"

It’s all Chris needs to hear to tip him over the edge. It takes forever to cum inside you. . Chris wouldn't stop himself from pulling out, not when you confessed so willingly. His moans and stuttering hips slow to a stop. His hand on your clit relents, and he feels your walls relax a little. Chris can hear you sobbing, small 'thank yous' that make his heart flutter.

It doesn't matter how sticky you are, how badly your cunt is abused. What matters is that he stops, slowly sliding out of you. You whine when his fat head slips out of your pussy, leaving you with relief but a slight emptiness.

Chris watches as his cum drips out your hole, how it stains the mattress. He'll need to buy a new one, but that's no issue for him. He'd buy the entire Earth if it meant you'd be his.

"How are you feeling baby?" He asks. He's sitting on his knees, eyes trained on you. You think you should give back a snarky response, but you don't find the energy to do so. "It hurts," your eyes are still filled with tears. He lets out a soft 'awww' and leans down to nuzzle against your tummy.

You hate how you find comfort in his touch, how lovingly he acts towards you. You feel him start peppering kisses on your stomach, and you don't bother fighting against it. You kidnapper seemingly loves to give aftercare with how he pampers you. A twisted part of you thinks you could actually get used to this.

After all, you still need to learn his name.

a/n: hoped you guys liked it! ngl this was kinda hard but I really tried lmao. feedback is appreciated!

proof reader: @then-make-me (thank you so much again!)

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disastoruslifeofaad · 1 year ago

Text

It's a bad idea, right? (02)

*ೃ༄ pairing: han jisung x fem!reader.

*ೃ༄ genre: college!au, brother's best friend & 3racha Jisung (yes he is his own genre lol), y/n is Minho's slightly younger sister, childhood friends to lovers, slow burn, angst, fluff, drama, my attempt at humor.

*ೃ༄ word count: 10k.

*ೃ༄ summary: The Lee siblings' rule was simple: don’t flirt, kiss, sleep, or even dare to think about dating the other sibling’s friends. Pretty straightforward stuff, right? No matter how ridiculous that rule sounds now, both of you respected it religiously for years, being one of the main reasons your relationship remained as strong as it did for so long. But, what happens when your brother decides to break it on a random Friday night, at a frat party, with one of your closest friends? You decide to take revenge, of course. And what better way to do it than with the help of his precious best friend, Han Jisung, whom you’ve been crushing on since forever?

*ೃ༄ warnings: cursing, suggestive themes, jealousy, sexual tension, mentions of drinking and smoking.

♡. part 01 .♡

♡. a/n: hii <3 i really struggled with this part since I wanted it to end in a completely different way but tbh, I think this new ending is better. yn and jisung are really, really into each other (horny) in this part so enjoy! <3 do let me know your thoughts about this chapter!! <3 i love reading them (the first part of this chapter is from jisung's pov).

Their little private party continued well into the night, with drinks pouring and smoke making everyone a little hazy and disconnected from the world. It was an intoxicating feeling, one Jisung enjoyed to the fullest at the end of every gig and every night if he could.

Still, things were a bit different now. Usually, he would have people all over him, touching and whispering the dirtiest of things in his ear until he’d finally snap and take them to his dressing room. When away, he preferred to use his hotel room for such activities but while in town, the dressing room was his best choice since his house has always been off-limits. He wasn’t like Chan or Changbin, Jisung valued his privacy and the precious memories he’s made over the years in said house. Call him sentimental, but the only people who have ever stepped foot in his childhood bedroom were his best friend, his first girlfriend and the other two members of 3racha. That’s it.

Was it a bit weird to be so protective over something so silly and insignificant? Maybe. Did Jisung care? Not really.

Even so, he’s only ever allowed a handful of people in his personal bubble, as well as his bedroom, his safe space if you will. That’s why all the hookups were strictly happening somewhere far, far away from that bubble. Maybe he was afraid of intimacy, to let someone else see him bare in more ways than one and that’s why he’s locked his heart away and threw the key somewhere so out of reach for everyone.

Or maybe, he just had commitment issues. That’s what Minho always says anyway.

One thing was certain though – no random stranger would ever step foot in his house, no matter how high, intoxicated or horny he was. Jisung was a man with well-established boundaries and nothing will change that.

That’s why he was no stranger to going home alone. It was, however, out of the ordinary for him to end the night without getting his dick wet. It’s not like he lacked options: there were many, an overwhelming amount. He just wasn’t feeling it, no energy left in him to text any of them back, to deal with any more people than he’s already had to tonight.

His social battery ran out too quickly and now all he wanted to do was go home and sleep for two days straight, turning his phone off and disappearing from everyone’s lives for a while. His friends and manager will understand, surely.

A deep voice interrupted his inner turmoil as he dwelled on the matter, oscillating between calling over one of his booty calls from the bar for a quick fuck or just going straight home and locking himself away. Guess that had to be put on hold for the time being.

“Han Jisung.”

Looking up, he can’t help but smirk at the person he finds standing in front of him. “Yongbok. You keep surprising me tonight. Do you miss me, is that it?”

Felix rolls his eyes in response, already regretting his choice to approach him, which amuses Jisung greatly. Standing up, he ignores the buzzing phone in his hand and crosses his arms, giving the other man his whole attention for the time being.

The silence stretches on as Felix’s face contorts unpleasantly and it’s clear that he’d rather be doing anything else than speak to him right now. It must have taken everything in him to come over and start this conversation and without you by his side, it looks like Yongbok has already reached his limit.

Speaking of, where have you disappeared to? And most importantly, why was your loyal puppy bothering him instead of being with you?

Growing tired, Jisung tries his best to mask the exasperation in his voice. “What do you want, Yongbok? Do you need help finding your way home to your owner or what?”

The glare he receives in response is hilarious to his tipsy self, the alcohol in his system making him miss all the obvious social cues. Not like he cared in the first place, this was Yongbok in front of him after all.

“Help? From you?” Yongbok laughs, throwing his head back. “Not in a million years.”

Jisung is the one who rolls his eyes now, finally throwing the annoying device that hasn’t stopped buzzing on the chair behind him. “Then? I don’t want to spend the rest of my night with you, so spit it out already.”

Any traces of the smile previously on his features vanish instantly as big, brown eyes look straight into his. “I’m here to give you a warning.”

Amused, Jisung raises an eyebrow, leaning back on the chair nonchalantly. If Yongbok was expecting him to shiver in his boots, he’d have to try harder than that.

Stepping closer, Felix’s voice gets lower. “If you hurt her, Han Jisung, I swear I will return that pain tenfold.”

That piques his interest and he uncrosses his arms, straightening his posture. He’s a few inches taller than the man before him but Jisung learned a long time ago to not underestimate him. Felix might’ve been petite but behind the bright and smiley exterior was a very skilled fighter, one that wasn’t afraid to step in and defend his loved ones.

Jisung wasn’t stupid – he knew that even with the boxing lessons Minho made him take as some sort of bonding activity, he was no match for Felix in a physical fight.

But what Felix seems to have forgotten is that Jisung has an advantage. Or several.

“Don’t worry about that.” Suddenly much more sober than before, he lets the ghost of a smirk appear on his tense features, one that Felix doesn’t fail to notice.

“After all, I’m not the one who made her cry, am I?”

As expected, his words hit a bit too close to home and Felix’s tough exterior visibly crumbles as he takes a step back, like he was in pain himself. Like he was the one left sobbing for days on end by his best friend, abandoned like an old toy that inevitably got replaced by another, shiny and new. Like you were the one that hurt him and not the other way around; like he was the victim in the whole situation.

The nerve of him to act like he was the one Jisung held in his arms as his shirt got drenched, fragile heart breaking in his hands with every pained whimper that escaped your mouth. The audacity had Jisung’s anger rising without a clear reason, not really understanding his reaction. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the memory of your tear-stained face looking up at him, so broken and sad in the passenger seat of his car on a random Monday back in high school, when he picked you up in Minho’s place.

It was most likely both that fuelled his unexplainable anger and kept him talking, completely ignoring the look on Felix’s face just like he ignored you back then.

“Nor did I lead her on for months on end like a fucking asshole, right?”

Felix visibly flinches at the words, certainly relieving those same memories Jisung was thinking about just moments ago. Even though he couldn’t and he never will because he wasn’t there. Felix wasn’t there to comfort you when you needed him the most, Jisung was.

And he remembers it like it was yesterday.

So whatever pain Felix might be feeling now could never compare to the one you felt back then, struggling to breathe through the sobs that even his soothing touch and whispered words of comfort couldn’t diminish.

Without giving him any other chance to speak, he continues carelessly, landing the finishing blow.

“Now that we’re both on the same page, Yongbok,” he exhales through gritted teeth, taking a step closer towards him just like Felix has done before when he expected him to back down. “Get the fuck out of my face.”

He blinks, schooling his face into a neutral expression that doesn’t prevent Jisung from seeing right through him as he hoped. On the contrary, his clenched jaw tells him everything he needs to know.

Yongbok is fuming, barely holding himself together. But, he’s also aware of his faults so he backs off, not blowing up in Jisung’s face like he wants. For such a nice guy, loved by many, Felix had a pretty short fuse.

Guess that’s why he’s such a great actor, charming everyone he meets with just a few pretty words he never means.

Anyways, crisis averted for now. Somewhat.

“What’s going on here?” Chan’s voice interrupts their glaring match but the tension remains as palpable as before, even as they both take a step back from each other. Even tipsy, they’re both still sober enough to remember that fighting in front of Chan won’t end well for either of them.

“Nothing.” Felix finally speaks, voice hoarse and deeper than before, the storm behind his eyes not visible to Chan. “I was just leaving, Y/n is waiting for me.”

Chan nods slowly, trying to understand what happened as Felix walks past him without as much of a glance in his direction.

Jisung’s eyes follow his retreating form for a moment before he reaches for his discarded phone and his mouth opens on its own accord, not being able to stop himself. “Make sure you don’t make her cry on the way home, Yongbok.”

Both of Felix’s middle fingers shoot up in the air as he continues to walk away, not bothering to give any other answer to the obvious taunt. Jisung only smirks, satisfied he managed to get under his skin for a second time that night.

When he finally disappears and they remain alone in their little space in the VIP section, Chan turns to him with curiosity written all over his face.

“What was that?”

He shrugs, already captivated by his phone. “I’m just looking out for Minho’s little sister.”

Chan doesn’t buy it, Jisung can tell without even looking at him. But he doesn’t react, fingers moving across the screen as he types, cancelling multiple plans he made while sober and in a more social mood.

“Jisung.” Chan sighs, not even expecting an answer as he runs a hand through his dark curls. “Don’t start playing with fire if you aren’t ready to get burnt.”

That makes him tear his gaze from the device, a cocky smile slowly morphing onto his features. “Oh, but I’m ready.”

Then, he shows his screen to Christopher who can’t help but also smirk when he recognizes the people in the picture before him. It was you and Jisung after all, sharing a supposed kiss that was already gaining thousands of likes despite being posted just minutes ago. With the lighting and the angle, his fans wouldn’t be able to recognize you but the people that mattered certainly would.

Like Minho, if he paid close attention, which he didn’t most of the time. But to be honest, that’s what he was hoping for. Minho scrolling past his feed without a second glance and giving him more time to enjoy this silly ploy with you. The alcohol in his system along with the adrenaline pumping through his veins from the little confrontation that just took place completely erased all of his nerves and previous protests regarding your plan, leaving him giddy with excitement.

Minho might not notice but there was no doubt in his mind that Yongbok would, despite having him blocked on all socials. This will reach him one way or another and Jisung couldn’t wait to see his blood boil as he turned green with envy, jealous of the way he got to touch and feel you while he was stuck on the sidelines, watching it all.

“I’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?” And for once, Chris actually agrees with him.

Oh, this was going to be so much fun.

—----

The weekend finds you on the couch, scrolling idly through your phone while a random show plays in the background and one of the cats sleeps soundly on your stomach, deeming you comfy enough for a bed. It’s quiet and peaceful, with the sun barely peeking through the closed curtains and you almost doze off as your scrolling slowly stops. Your breathing evens out and sleep is right there, on the tip of your eyelashes, coming to take you to dreamland until the most annoying voice in existence startles both you and the feline and your phone slips through your fingers and falls to the ground. The cat jumps off and runs away instantly, seeking comfort with his other two siblings while you remain there, groaning into a pillow.

“Come here! I made breakfast.” Your brother yells from the kitchen and this is the first time in your life that you start to consider murder as the only option left to solve all of your problems.

Rolling your eyes, you complain under your breath as you drag your feet to the kitchen, forgetting all about your phone and the sweet dream that was about to take you under. When he sees you, Minho’s whole face lights up from where he’s sitting at the table, not expecting you to actually join him.

Well, too bad you won’t.

“Thanks.” Is all you say before grabbing your plate and making your way back to the living room, Minho’s face falling in the process.

It’s been exactly one week since that incident at the party, when Minho, letting his dick take over, broke one of your promises. One week since you’ve spoken more than three sentences to him.

Truth be told, you were starting to miss him but every time you tried to make things right, to push it all aside for the sake of your relationship, your anger got the better of you and it all went back to square one. It was childish and you could feel Minho’s annoyance rising because of your behaviour but, you just couldn’t stop yourself, especially when you remembered all the years you’ve spent following that rule just for his sake. Just so he won’t be upset or uncomfortable having to pick between his sister and one of his friends.

You’ve put his happiness above yours for so long and in the end, he couldn’t have cared less. You were miserable for nothing. That’s where all of the anger came from, among other things (Han Jisung).

Minho lets out a loud sigh but other than that, remains seated and gives you the space you need. Your brother wasn’t a bad guy, far from it, but he really messed up and now he had to bear the consequences of his actions.

As you make yourself comfortable on the couch again, Dori comes back and jumps onto your lap, purring, almost like he wants to take away your anger himself which warms your heart. This is why your brother’s furballs were your favourite thing about him.

Ten minutes later, when you’re done eating, Minho comes to get your plate and goes back to wash it without a word. Every time you two argue and it ends up being his fault, your brother has the same pattern when it comes to apologizing. If words don’t work, he switches to acts of service and if those don’t work either, he starts spending money on the most random stuff you might have said you liked 5 years ago. His brain worked in mysterious ways.

Thankfully, the doorbell rings and breaks the awkward atmosphere.

Picking Dori up, you make your way towards the door and almost gasp when you realize who’s on the other side.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” His voice is low, like he just rolled out of bed and came here first thing and the sound alone awakens the dormant butterflies that always go crazy when he’s near. “Can I come in?”

You nod, trying to catch your breath as you step to the side and Dori jumps from your arms to rub himself against Jisung’s legs in greeting. The boy smiles, the most genuine you’ve ever seen him and crouches down to pet the little feline, his favourite out of the three. And nobody could blame him when the bond they shared was absolutely adorable.

Suddenly, you’re very conscious of your appearance and your hands shoot up to at least fix your hair as his back is to you, patting down and cursing under your breath at the ugly pyjamas you chose to wear last night.

Of course, Han Jisung has to show up looking all perfect at 10 a.m. while you still look like a literal zombie. Just your luck, really.

You haven’t seen him since his gig a few days ago but you’ve kept in touch, and he certainly didn’t mention anything about suddenly coming to your house on a Saturday morning. So, that means he’s here to see your stupid brother. Great. You can never win, can you?

“Oh?” Minho’s voice reaches both of you simultaneously as he comes strolling into the hallway with the other two cats in toe, hands still wet. “Why are you here?”

From the way he speaks, you would never guess these two have been best friends since middle school.

“Good morning to you too, baby.” Jisung smirks as he looks up, still petting Dori who’s now on his back, showing his belly, and your heart can’t help but flutter at the nickname even though he didn’t address you. There was something almost enthralling about the way this word rolled down his tongue, just like fresh honey. Addicting even, making you want to be the only one with the privilege of hearing it. Want to be his baby. Wait, what –

“Can’t I come and visit my best friend once in a while?” He continues, smirk slowly morphing into a smile yet the playfulness doesn’t leave his voice. “I’ve missed you.”

Minho rolls his eyes, drying his hands on the dark blue apron he wore. Your dad’s apron. “I saw you two days ago.”

“And that was two days too long!”

“Do you guys need a moment?”

They both turn to look at you at the same time like they just remembered you were hearing this too. Jisung gives you an apologetic smile and stands up, pushing the hair back from his eyes. “Another time. You’re the one I came to see today, sweetheart.”

Minho’s eyes narrow as he looks between the two of you, completely oblivious to the excitement that is quickly taking over you. And just like that, for the first time that morning, Han Jisung manages to make you smile with a single sentence.

But before you can open your mouth, your brother butts in and the world comes crashing down again. “See her? What for? I didn’t know you guys were that close.”

The glare you send his way would make any normal person feel uncomfortable but as we’ve already established, you and your brother were far from normal. He’s grown immune to your antics a long time ago as nothing you can do or say phases him anymore.

Or so, he thinks.

Before you can open your mouth and bite back, you feel a strong arm wrap around your shoulders and pull you close, the smell of his cologne invading all of your senses and making you a little unstable on your feet.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about our relationship, right, sweetie?”

Then it all clicks in your head, making sense. Jisung isn’t here to see Minho – he’s here to annoy him! He’s here for you! Thank God his arm was already holding you upright because you were sure your legs might’ve betrayed you at the realization.

Your features relax and soften as you look up at him, batting your eyelashes in what you hope is a seductive way. He looks down instinctively and winks, smirk widening when you reach out and gently trace his jaw with one finger, pleased you caught on to his act.

“You don’t have to tell him all of our secrets now, Ji.” You purr and he responds by leaning into your touch, playing it up as much as he can since he’s aware Minho could see right through your act if he tried.

Thankfully, your brother is still stuck on the way Jisung enunciated that one word, relationship, like he was hinting at something deeper going on, something he wasn’t aware of. He’s deep in thought, you can tell by the way his eyebrows furrow, visibly displeased at the new revelation and that makes you so giddy you have to stop yourself from giggling by hiding your face in Jisung’s shoulder.

He knows what you’re doing and responds accordingly, pulling you flush against him and that’s when Minho snaps out of it, both eyebrows shooting up in brief surprise. Quickly discarding his apron, your brother turns to walk back into the apartment and that’s when you two share a conspiratorial grin.

However, Minho isn’t one to back down easily. “Fine, give me ten minutes then the three of us can go and do something fun together.”

Wait, what? You weren’t expecting that, and Jisung can tell by the look of horror that crosses your face as you pull away, panicking.

“The three of us?” Jisung questions, not shaken at all. “It’s Saturday, Min. You have dance practice with Yongbok and Hyunjin, remember?”

Minho stops in his tracks, pausing for a moment as he seems to remember his schedule and groans loudly, annoyed at the whole situation. Your face lights up and Jisung squeezes your shoulder reassuringly with a smile.

Bless his weird attachment to your brother and his elephant memory.

Turning around, all three cats scramble to him and you understand why the moment your eyes meet his, cold with no hint of amusement left in them. Minho might’ve been immune to your childish acts but in your case, even a narrow gaze from him made you stand straighter, slightly terrified. In those instances, you were left feeling like the bullies that dared bother you as a child, the ones he took care of one by one – frozen in fear.

That makes your brother sound like some sort of child gangster but truth be told, Minho is scary now and was even scarier back then. Or that’s what your undeveloped mind was fooled into believing back then, since his anger was never directed towards you, ever.

Seeing their brother beat a middle schooler with a stick would do that to any child.

One thing that’s never changed since then, however, was the fact that no matter how scary Minho appeared on the outside, you were never truly afraid of him. Because you knew, even from a young age, that he would never hurt you. On the contrary, he’s always been a little too protective of you, coddling and spoiling you rotten.

Still, that didn’t mean Minho didn’t know how to make you question and regret all of your life decisions with a single look. He’s mastered the warning gaze from your parents at a young age and the feelings it awakened in you never changed. Discomfort with a side of good old shame.

“Hm, lucky you, right?”

You don’t respond, looking away as your whole face warms at the hidden implication. Stupid brother with his stupid mouth and his stupid mind games.

Jisung’s arm around your shoulders comforts you silently and Minho notices, eyes flying straight to the unusual display of affection.

“Have fun,” and suddenly, he smiles innocently like nothing even happened, “but if you’re not home by the time I return from practice you’re sleeping outside with the dog.”

If you had any doubts Minho couldn’t tell what you were doing, they all went out the window in a split second.

You frown, not falling for his evil ploys. “We don’t have a dog.”

“No, but Jisung does.” Jisung snorts next to you and your glare finds a new target as you elbow his side, Minho’s smile widening. “I’m sure Bbama will love to have a sleepover with you.”

He then turns around to continue on his merry way, humming as the cats follow him like he’s their leader or something, the one that carries all the answers they’ve been looking for. Traitors, furry little traitors, all of them.

But then, as you glare at his retreating back, it hits you.

You were supposed to have the upper hand! He’s going to be the one sleeping outside with the dog, not you!

And so, you’re on his trail in a second, the cats all running away from the scene. “How dare you speak to me like this?! You little bitch, come back here! “

That morning, Han Jisung is once again subjected to one of your arguments, against his will as always. The only good thing is that after all these years, he’s gotten so used to them that when you and Minho come into the living room still bickering, he’s fast asleep on the couch with all of the cats on him.

By the time you’re done getting ready for the day and leave the house with Jisung, your mood is already ruined. All thanks to Minho, a normal occurrence lately.

Getting out of his car with a huff, Jisung follows before quickly locking it and catching up with you. His arm finds solace around your shoulders again and without meaning to, you slow down to accommodate him.

“Where are we going?” you ask, looking straight ahead as you continue leading him like you know exactly where. A girl’s wrath is capable of amazing things.

He smiles, amusement with a very obvious hint of fondness clear in his voice. “You started walking away without me despite not even knowing where we are?”

You shrug, already becoming used to the weight of his arm around you. It’s pleasant and warm, lulling the butterflies to sleep as you begin relaxing in his presence. You’d never thought this would happen, not after being so nervous and excited around him for so many years because of your bottled-up feelings.

A welcomed development if you said so yourself. Finally, you managed to calm the fuck down and act normal in front of the guy you liked.

Wonder how long that will last.

“This way.” He gently steers you both in the right direction and your destination becomes clear.

“The arcade?” There’s a hint of excitement in your voice and Jisung’s face lights up, elated to finally see you happy. “I haven’t been here in years! I love this place!”

He’s beaming, grinning from ear to ear as he looks down at you. “Yeah? Me too! Your brother and I used to come here all the time back in high school.”

You know this. After all, that’s the reason you used to drag Felix here after school almost every day, just to get a glimpse of the cool senior your brother spent most of his time with. But with time, this became one of your and Felix’s favourite places thanks to the memories you made together and you often looked back fondly on those times. Skipping class has never been as fun since.

Even though you still skip class together now, in college, you aren’t as attached to the hip as you were back then because of your clashing schedules so, it’s not the same.

Excited to go in and play some games, you almost miss Changbin at the entrance.

“Look who decided to finally show up!” His loud voice disturbs your pink and peaceful bubble full of memories of high schooler Felix and you can’t help but sigh, already missing your daydreams.

“What took you so long?” He continues, all his annoyance directed at Jisung. It’s all an act because Changbin could never be upset at him, especially since when your eyes meet, he smiles. He’s surrounded by seven other people you don’t recognize, who wave and greet you politely once your gaze moves to them.

Guess Chan was busy.

A small part of you feels a bit disappointed by their presence. Even though you were aware this wouldn’t be a date per se, you were still looking forward to spending some quality time with him alone, wanting to peel back all of the layers and see who exactly was hiding behind the many masks he liked to show off. Maybe another time.

“Sorry, sorry,” Jisung runs a hand through his silky hair, not sorry at all, “Minho was being difficult.”

“You mean, a pain in the ass like always.” You mutter bitterly.

That gets a loud laugh out of Changbin, and the others follow suit, just not as flamboyant. Do all the members of 3racha run their own little cults on the side? Surely Chris wouldn’t…right? Right?!

He grins and changes the subject, though you sense there’s more he’d like to add to your comment. “We’re all here so let’s have some fun, yeah?”

Everyone cheers and you can’t help but giggle, joining them before making your way inside.

Where you expected loud chatter and laughter was only the music from the speakers playing in the background, accompanied by the bright neon lights from all the game machines. The place was empty, creepily so, and you gravitated towards Jisung for support, hiding behind him in what you hoped was a subtle enough way.

Changbin and the others run wild, like children, the moment they step in, not finding anything wrong with the deserted place. Noticing your presence, Jisung turns around with a laugh, gently grasping both of your hands.

“Sorry, pretty, I should’ve mentioned it sooner.” He says, drawing comforting patterns on your knuckles. “Changbin and I rented out the whole place for the day, that’s why it looks like something straight out of a horror movie.”

Oh, right. They were rich and famous or whatever.

You nod, visibly relaxing with the help of his comforting touch and go on ahead to discuss your plan for the day.

In the end, you settle on a pretty simple one.

Take a few pictures of each other, think of some clever captions and post them, hoping everyone (your brother) believes you’re currently on the best date of your life. Who else’s date would rent out a whole arcade for them to spend time together in peace, getting to be as lovey-dovey as they want? No ones.

Too bad Jisung wasn’t actually your date either. You were mourning that thought every day.

Once satisfied with all the posts, Jisung gets pulled away by some of the others, people you’ve learnt are part of their crew, laughing loudly as they cheer him on at a game of basketball. You’re left alone at a table somewhere a bit further away from all the fun, making yourself busy with the drink and snacks he bought to make this whole date even more believable.

Naturally, your thoughts fly to your high school days and all the time you used to spend in this very same arcade back then. Jisung has already revealed the reason he picked this place but a part of you fooled itself into believing he did it for you too, that he knew what it meant to you.

But this was Han Jisung after all, so he probably didn’t. It’s not like you could blame him either – in some aspects, you were as much of a stranger to him as he was to you since you’ve never had the chance to get to know each other on a deeper level.

Isn’t it strange? How you can know a person for most of your life but also know next to nothing about them?

“Having fun?”

Changbin’s presence snaps you out of it as he takes Jisung’s previous seat across from you, smiling brightly. “I sure hope so, Jisung did all of this for you, after all.”

“What?”

Your eyes widen comically, not believing Changbin’s words at all which causes him to laugh in response, picking up his friend’s discarded drink.

“Didn’t he tell you?” He’s still smiling, messing with one of his bracelets that came undone. “Damn, he has no game at all, huh? No wonder he’s been single since high school.”

Your whole world is spinning and you can’t help feeling like you’re being pranked right now. Jisung couldn’t have done this for you! You’re his best friend’s annoying little sister, why would he even want to do something for you?

Though, now that you think about it, he gave in easily after your argument, agreeing to help you get back at Minho with minimal complaints. But why? Does he see it as some sort of duty to protect you and make sure you’re happy all the time like he once did when you were teenagers? Is he looking out for you, wanting to keep an eye out in case you do something stupid?

Wait, what if somehow, this whole thing has been orchestrated by Minho and you’ve fallen into his trap, playing his game? No way! Has your stupid brother been behind this all of this time? Is Jisung just a pawn, moving according to his orders?

Oh my god, what if –

“Y/n?” Changbin moves some hair out of your eyes gently, looking at you with slight concern. “You good?”

You shake your head, chasing away all of the irrational thoughts before nodding at his question. Sure, if being annoying was a competition, both Jisung and Minho would somehow share first place, winning every time. But, neither of these menaces would do something like this right? Play with your head and feelings in the most cruel way imaginable.

There was no way; that’s what you chose to believe to stop your brain from going into overdrive. Felix would beat their asses, after all, defending your honour until the end. Yeah, that sounds better.

“Why would Jisung go through all this trouble for me?” You finally ask, and Changbin lets out a relieved sigh at the sound of your voice. Were you really that out of it that he started worrying? Cute.

“Why not?” He plops a fry in his mouth before extending his arm and asking you to fix his bracelet, tired of struggling. “You’re his best friend’s sister. He likes making you smile.”

Your jaw drops, and so does the bracelet, the sound deafening to your overwhelmed mind. Jisung…likes seeing you smile. Since when?!

Across from you, Changbin frowns. “Hey, are you sure you’re okay?”

Your brows furrow, and he can read the confusion on your tense features. “I just don’t…understand.”

“It’s simple, Y/n. Seeing you happy, makes him happy. Why do you think he teases and flirts with you all the time? Your laugh makes him act like an excited puppy, living to please his owner.”

You’re not buying it. “He acts like that with everyone, even with Minho!”

“Well, he isn’t renting out arcades for everyone, now, is he?” The smile returns to his lips once you finish fixing the bracelet, eyes crinkling at the corners. “And especially not for Minho.”

“He said you rented it together!”

Now, Changbin is the confused one, blinking at you for a moment before standing up abruptly. “Han Jisung!“

“No, don’t!” You stand up as well, setting a hand on his toned bicep, panicking. “Please don’t call him back here.”

Seeing the look on your face, he nods, most likely understanding that all of this new information is currently overwhelming. What he doesn’t understand, however, is why did Jisung lie? But that’s something he’d have to ask him later when you aren’t here.

“Do you want to come play with me? There’s this one game I can never win, no matter what strategy I choose to go with.”

And that’s how Changbin manages to calm you down once again, making you forget all about your previous conversation. Not that you weren’t curious about Jisung’s motives, it’s just that your feelings got the better of you and suddenly, your heart was beating a bit too fast and your delusions almost took over. And you couldn’t have that, not when you were finally spending time with the guy that’s been off limits for years.

Okay, maybe spending time is a bit of an exaggeration since he pretty much abandoned you, but hey, at least your followers were jealous, right? A win is a win.

At some point, Changbin is also dragged away and you’re left alone trying to kill all the zombies and save the world, a task that proves to be a bit more difficult than you remembered. If only Felix was here with you, then every pixelated person would be safe and sound and you’d get to bask in all of his glory.

Thankfully, you’re not alone for long.

After a while, two strong arms wrap around your waist from behind startling you momentarily until the familiar and comforting scent reaches your nose and you relax, relieved.

“Hi, baby.” The embrace along with his soothing, low voice make you feel like you’re floating on a fluffy cloud, very tranquil. You’ve wondered how he’d feel wrapped around you dressed like this, comfy in his white hoodie and pants, since this morning when he appeared at your front door. You have to admit - for once, reality was better than the daydream.

“What are you playing?” He continues, resting his chin on your shoulder to look at the screen in front.

You shake your head, trying to ignore the shiver that runs down your spine as his breath keeps hitting your cheek. “Nothing, because I’m losing. Felix was always better than me at this game.”

He hums lightly, looking at the toy gun in your hands. Without a word, his arms detangle from around your waist to move upwards, warm hands falling over yours gently. Your head turns slightly to the side to look at him and that’s when you realize how close he is, actually stealing your breath away. The proximity isn’t intoxicating as usual but instead, warm and fuzzy, so intimate it has you falling for him all over again.

You can’t help but wonder if he feels it too, how natural it is to hold each other like this. His breathing is steady and not ragged like it was that night before his performance, calm and content as he maintains eye contact. His pupils aren’t blown, and the emotion behind them is one you can’t recognize. An emotion usually well-known to you but completely foreign in his eyes.

“I’m sure together we can change that.”

There’s no hint of tobacco or weed in his breath and that, for some strange reason, makes you very happy. Maybe because he finally resembles the person you fell for so long ago, or maybe the person you made him out to be in your head. Who was Han Jisung, after all? You really didn’t know anymore, but you’d like to find out again.

Either way, the swarm of butterflies in your stomach go berserk as his hold on you tightens and he raises the gun, eyes flickering between you and the screen.

“Shall we?” He doesn’t need to ask you twice.

Breaking the embrace for just a moment to put in another coin, you return in his arms again once the game starts and as promised, he helps you. It’s a silly zombie game but you’re both having the time of your lives, laughing away as he does all the work and shoots everything in sight. It’s fun, freeing, and you wish this moment would never end as his genuine laugh makes your heart grow inch by inch with every minute that passes.

You’re having so much fun together that time flies in a blink of an eye and suddenly, you’ve played like five rounds of the same game.

When the ‘victory’ screen appears, Jisung puts the toy down and steps back, only to pull you in another hug as you turn around, happiness written across both of your faces.

Letting go, your back is to the machine as he runs his hands through honey-blonde hair, still smiling brightly.

“I bet even Yongbok would be jealous of this score.”

You laugh, nodding, your happiness so contagious it has him chuckling as well. “You guys should play together sometimes. You’d make an unstoppable team.”

His smile drops instantly as he rolls his eyes, all in good fun, and you can’t help but reach out to pinch his full cheeks which makes him pout cutely. The sight pulls at your heartstrings and causes your pulse to pick up, not letting go of his cheek. He looks adorable like this, from his bare face to his comfy outfit, without the furrow between his eyebrows that seems to be a constant in his life.

His lips look very plush, and your mind flies far away with thoughts about melting against them in a much-needed kiss. You wonder what it’d feel like, what he’d taste like all sober and relaxed like this, and you’re once again reminded of that night a few days ago when you almost found out.

“No thanks,” he shakes his head, still pouting and your hand falls on his shoulder, “I’d rather spend my free time with you, sweetheart.”

Warmth rushes to your cheeks but you do your best to ignore it, briefly avoiding his gaze. “I bet you tell that to all the girls.”

That’s when he steps closer, almost pinning you to the machine as his arms circle your waist again, chest to chest. He licks his lips and your eyes zone in on them, all wet and oh so inviting, shamelessly staring. Jisung notices and leans forward, for once not smirking or acting all smug, putting a strand of hair behind your ear and taking the opportunity to cup your cheek after, bringing your face even closer to his.

“Maybe,” He admits, not missing a beat and you’re the one rolling your eyes now, “but this is the first time I mean it.”

Your heart thumps loudly in your chest and in fear of him hearing, you make to pull away but are surprised when he doesn’t let you, instead squishing your cheeks together with both of his hands. In the absence of his rings, they’re warm and soft, just like he is being right now.

“Very smooth, Ji.” You finally come up with a reply, voice quieter than before and speech slightly unclear. “Careful though, I might actually believe you.”

But he understands you, of course. “Maybe you should.”

His doe eyes drop to your mouth for a moment, lingering there as he lets go of one side of your face to trace your bottom lip with his thumb. Pulling it down lightly, he then moves to the top one, pushing against it like one would on a pillow to test its quality. Without even thinking about it, they pucker and you kiss his fingertip and that’s the moment his eyes darken completely, the stars in them disappearing instantly.

Inhaling sharply, he continues with a bit of difficulty. “You know I’m no liar.” Then his hands drop before he moves to cradle the back of your head tenderly, bumping your nose with his.

A nervous chuckle bubbles out of you, suddenly feeling breathless. “Yes, you are.”

Jisung laughs, the sound so low and devoid of any amusement that it sends a shiver down your spine, your own hands planting themselves on his chest as your brain decides between pushing him away and pulling him closer, finally closing this annoying distance.

“Yes, I am.” He admits a little too easily and suddenly, your conversation with Changbin comes rushing back.

You want to ask him about it, the curiosity eating away at your every thought until you’re a blabbering mess. But, you can’t. The words seem to remain stuck in your throat every time you want to bring it up, making you incapable of doing so.

So, you stop fighting it and like every normal person caught in the moment, let yourself melt in his embrace.

Time stops and your eyes flutter shut, arms moving up his body to wrap around his neck and pull him flush against you. Everything and everyone vanishes and it’s just you, him and the purple and pink neon lights that still managed to somehow blind you even in darkness.

His lips finally touch yours but for some reason, he doesn’t start kissing you and your eyes snap open in disappointment just to find him already staring back.

“If Minho were to see us like this…” he trails off when you frown, one of your hands going to fist the material of his hoodie to coax him forward. “We’d never hear the end of it.”

You whine, doing everything in your power to remain sane as the hand at the back of your neck tangles into your hair and pulls you back slightly, still keeping your lips connected but heads farther apart.

“Are you seriously thinking about Minho as we’re about to kiss?” you ask against his lips, voice regaining its strength. “What the fuck, Ji?”

He chuckles darkly, his hold on your hair tightening in a very pleasant way. “I’m just reminding you about the consequences, sweetheart. Games are fun until they aren’t.”

“Fuck the consequences.” You plead and the desperation in your voice makes him push you further into the cold machine. “Forget about Minho and kiss me, please.”

Releasing his hoodie, your nails find his nape and you feel him shiver at the contact, lips parting without a sound once you move to scratch at the shorter hair there. It’s clear as day he wants this as much as you do; why does he continue to torture you both?

“Please, Jisung.”

That seems to be the right thing to say because he groans, frustrated and lets his head fall in the crock of your neck, latching onto the smooth skin.

“Fuck, baby.” He says after planting a few, soft kisses there. “Every time we end up like this, our first kiss replays in my head over and over again until I’m dizzy. Do you remember? You’ve always said my name so prettily, baby, it drives me fucking insane.”

How could you ever forget? Nobody has ever kissed you like that ever since. It was the main reason you became so enamoured with him back in high school, after all, the reason –

“Wow, get a room, you two.”

Both of your heads snap in the direction of the voice, glaring at the intruder that just ruined the long-awaited moment. As Changbin’s face comes into view once Jisung steps away reluctantly, you almost let out a scream, frustrated out of your mind. And horny. Frustrated and horny and pissed out of your mind.

Changbin just lost his place as your favourite 3racha member. He’s now in the cockblocker category with Minho.

“Bin, respectfully, what the fuck?” For once, Jisung voices his frustration as he fixes his hoodie and dishevelled hair, snapping at his friend.

Putting his hands up, Changbin takes a step back. “Hey, you didn’t give me any heads up about wanting to fuck Minho’s little sister today!”

Both you and Jisung look away in opposite directions, not being able to meet Changbin’s accusing gaze. You’re surprised to see him just as embarrassed as you are since he’s always exuding an infuriating amount of confidence that has almost every person he meets falling to his feet.

This side of Jisung was a new one. Yet another thing you didn’t know about him.

Well, at least it was cute.

Not having any sort of filter whatsoever, Changbin continues despite your discomfort. “You usually let me know about those things in advance!”

That’s when you turn to look at him, trying your best to not show the fact that your heart just dropped all the way to your stomach, the new information making you sick. Not new, since you knew he slept around, just…uncomfortable. This is one of those things you are aware of but can’t hear out loud, don’t want to as a means to keep your heart intact and pain to a minimum.

One of those things both Minho and Felix have warned you about, which you ignored each time.

When Jisung doesn’t meet your eyes, you shake your head and hurry to leave the uncomfortable situation, keeping your head down and emotions in check.

“Yeah, uh, I didn’t sign up for this conversation so I’ll just leave you alone.”

So, you leave, not stopping once even as Changbin starts calling your name and yells about some pictures, going to the bathroom to pull yourself together. Hopefully, some cold water will do the trick, cooling your heated skin and thumping heart, maybe even stop this uncomfortable feeling in your gut.

You should have never fallen for Han Jisung, not so hard at least.

Quite the revelation to have at 4 in the afternoon, if you say so yourself.

The outing ends without any other major events and after that, you and Jisung steer clear of each other for a while. The texts stop and since you’re in different departments and majors, you don’t see him around campus either. The aftermath of what happened at the arcade, in front of the stupid zombie game is hitting you a bit harder than usual as all of your dreams end up being about him, his fluffy clothes and plush lips that you were once again deprived of. But then you also remember his hand in your hair, pulling at the strands and his bruising hold on your hip and suddenly, those dreams are anything but innocent.

You’re dizzy and out of it for a few days every time you remember that moment, but after a while, you finally return to normal (somewhat). The feeling of his hands on you still lingers, but mostly when you’re alone at night and scrolling through all the pictures you, him or Changbin have taken that day.

He looks happy in them, and if you didn’t know it was all an act, you’d actually believe he was just a normal guy enamoured with his sweetheart. You both look happy, playing the part a little too well and that’s what keeps messing with your head. No, not the staged photos when you were all camera-ready but the ones Changbin took when neither of you was aware of his presence.

Before interrupting, he had the bright idea to take out his phone and capture several moments between you, claiming you both looked too cosy and comfortable to miss out on it. And you were, it was obvious even from behind. Holding and caressing each other in the most natural way, like you were long-time lovers and not just two people who will never be together.

Neither of you ended up posting those, nor did you mention them on the way home, the drive being painfully silent. You did, however, make one of these pictures your home screen, your favourite one out of the bunch. In it, Jisung was hugging you from behind, not yet preoccupied with the game, giving you his undivided attention and affection.

It was cute, yet every time you unlocked your phone and stared at it, another part of your heart shrivelled up and died quietly, leaving behind this unexplainable feeling of emptiness. But as much as it hurt, knowing Jisung will never be yours even with Miho’s promise out of the way, you could not delete those pictures.

Maybe you were a masochist, all these years pinning after him leaving you a little messed up.

Or maybe you’ve finally lost your mind after living with your stupid brother for so long.

Yeah, that sounds better. It’s all Minho’s fault. All of your life problems are Minho’s fault, he’s the worst.

Almost another week passes before you hear from Han Jisung again. But, surprise, surprise, he doesn’t come and talk to you in person.

“Hey, guys!” Changbin plops down between you and Felix one day at lunch, surprising everyone with his presence. “What’s new?”

Jeongin looks at him, startled out of his mind. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Seungmin nods. “Yeah, you don’t even go here.”

You and Felix also share a look full of suspicion behind his back, silently asking each other the same thing. His sudden appearance gets a few gasps and causes a small commotion at the tables nearby but as always, Changbin doesn’t pay them any attention. A man on a mission never gets distracted.

“Boo, you whores!” He shoots them a look full of fake annoyance, but all it does is cause laughter at your little table. Satisfied, he grins and turns to you. “I’m having a party this weekend and I was wondering if you’re free?”

A party at Changbin’s place usually means a whole lot of trouble. There’s alcohol, weed, dancers, small celebrities and pretty much everything you could ever imagine. It’s like one of those 2000s’ MTV house parties you used to watch on TV as a child. His ‘humble abode’ becomes a full-on music festival which automatically makes it a 3racha party. And if it’s a 3racha party, that means Jisung will be there. And if Jisung is there, your heart will burst.

So, yeah, maybe you’ll pass this one, even if you’re aching to see him again.

“You too, Yongbok.”

“I’d rather eat glass, thanks.”

Changbin laughs, slapping his back playfully, clearly not taking Felix’s words seriously. But you know better, so you frown, flicking his nose to show his rude behaviour wasn’t appreciated in the slightest.

With a sigh, you respond. “I don’t really feel like partying, Bin.”

“Minho will be there.” He says nonchalantly, stealing one of Felix’s fries and getting another glare from the man.

“We’ll be there!”

Satisfied, he sends a wink your way before standing up and bidding goodbye, not lingering in the cafeteria for longer than necessary. Did he come all this way here just to invite you to a party he could’ve texted about? What was he planning?

Taking another sip of his strawberry milk, Seungmin meets your gaze head-on. “Since when do you speak for all of us?”

Felix nods, also turning to look at you from his seat at your side.

“What? I single handedly ended your miserable weekends. The least you can do is be nice about it!”

They both roll their eyes at the same time, before Seungmin stands up, grumbling under his breath about his plan to take over the world, most likely. He instead settles for getting another piece of pie, for now.

As expected, Jeongin is on your side. “Come on, a party at a rich guy’s house won’t kill you.” He tells Felix, whose mood soured significantly since Changbin showed up.

Grumpy Felix shows up only two times a year when certain people have the audacity to start sprouting nonsense in his presence. That’s it. So, seeing him so blue about the whole thing really isn’t sitting right with you.

Bumping his shoulder with yours, he doesn’t even bother to look up from his food this time.

Confused, you ask. “Lix, why do you keep acting like this? Are you going through puberty again?”

That gets a laugh out of Jeongin whose platinum blonde hair bounces along with his joy. Felix doesn’t share the same sentiment and for a brief moment, your heart squeezes painfully in your chest at his lack of reaction.

“Can I live?” He raises an eyebrow, purposely making his voice even deeper than it naturally is to get you to back off, all in good fun, of course.

You grin and bat your eyelashes at him, getting all up in his face. “Nope.”

And without any sort of warning, your nimble fingers find his sides and you change tactics, wanting to make him laugh at all costs. It works in an instant and the sound of Felix’s much higher laugh brings a smile to both yours and Jeongin’s faces as you tickle him, taking him by complete surprise.

But as expected, his retaliation doesn’t take long to come and in a blink of an eye, the roles are reversed and suddenly, you’re the one struggling to breathe as he begins tickling you mercilessly. He overpowers you easily, and you almost fall out of your chair with laughter but his quick reflexes catch you quickly, holding you up by the waist with one arm while continuing his attack with the other.

One thing about Felix is that he’ll always catch you, no matter how dangerous the fall. Always.

You’re finally saved when Seungmin returns with his pie, accompanied by none other than Hyunjin.

“Hello, friends I haven’t seen since this morning.” He greets everyone, taking a seat beside Jeongin, on his left while Seungmin takes his usual seat on his right. “What’s new?”

“Changbin invited us to a party and Lix doesn’t want to come with me.” You huff once you regain your composure, your sides starting to hurt from all the laughing. Even at the mention of his name, Felix doesn’t budge and acts unbothered, like you aren’t actually talking but his arm remains around your middle, holding you warmly.

Hyunjin’s eyes widen and he gasps dramatically, a little over the top. “No way! Lix said no to you? The world must be ending.”

Seungmin and Felix roll their eyes, the former busy with his dessert while the latter tries to hide his growing smile, secretly enjoying your antics. Of course, he is, Felix can never keep a straight face around you.

Nodding, you lean forward in your seat to be closer to Hyunjin. “Right?!” Then, with a fake sniffle, you continue. “He doesn’t love me anymore.”

Jeongin laughs and shakes his head when Hyunjin nods vigorously, agreeing with your lies. That’s when Felix frowns and hugs you closer, leaning his head against yours as his way of debunking your nonsense.

“Not true.” He mumbles under his breath before hiding his face in your hair. You can’t help but smile at the gesture, taking hold of the hand that’s on his thigh under the table, hoping that after this ridiculous show, you’re putting on he will finally agree to the party. You physically can't be away from him for that long, he has to come with you and the others.

Stealing some of Jeongin’s food, Hyunjin adds. “You know I normally wouldn’t entertain that though but, in this case, I think you might be right, Y/n.”

“Will you two shut up?” Felix groans, lifting his head and glaring at the both of you. “Fine, I’ll go to the stupid party.” Looking straight at you, he then adds. “Happy?”

You cheer and throw your arms around his neck to squeeze him in an embrace, missing the smug smirk that forms on Hyunjin’s plump lips and the warning look Felix sends his way. They communicate with their eyes alone until you pull away and start going on about the party, suddenly excited since all of your friends are coming.

In your haste, you don’t even notice the way Felix scoots a bit farther away from you, thoughts elsewhere.

Then, that same night you get a text that turns your whole world upside down, making the party an event that you must attend at all costs.

[off-limits j.one]: see you this weekend, sweetheart

♡. taglist: @liknws @scarletbedlam @xhazmania @skzpvol @slut4colinbridgerton @sealovesbts @stickycrusadecollective @byullielle @princelingperfect @realrintaro @ilychee08 @mysweethannie @jetblackbelle @hanjisunginc @whitney190 @emyladia @hanschimpmunk @briqnne @seungminsapuppy @telehan @heeheehoohoohahahihi @lvrgrl-xo @imnotgoodatnature @adestayskz @imsiriuslyreal @dprkbyn @hyunsungbased @dandycharmer @thepeopleintheback @fashominnie @ch4nniebang @possumy @emikisses @skzhoes @drhsthl @baribaaari @highlydestiny @starsandrqindrops @queerpumpkinnn @lilmarkieepooh

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disastoruslifeofaad · 1 year ago

Text

It's a bad idea, right? (01)

*ೃ༄ pairing: han jisung x fem!reader.

*ೃ༄ word count: 11k.

*ೃ༄ warnings: cursing, suggestive themes, jealousy, sexual tension, drinking and smoking (weed and tobacco), a lot of unresolved issues (mostly on y/n's part).

♡. a/n: i've waited all week to post this omg ghdfj. this first part is a bit long so make sure to get comfy before reading! <3 there's a lot happening but tbh, it's only scratching the surface of what i actually have planned for this fic. i really hope you enjoy it nonetheless! please let me know what you think!! <3

If there was one thing everyone and their mothers knew about you was how much you adored your older brother, Minho. Reliable, patient and overall, one of the coolest people on Earth – these were the words pre-teen Y/n used to describe her brother in the first-ever essay she wrote in middle school. Sure, that didn’t grant her an impressive grade back then, but Minho liked it so much that he carried it around in his wallet for a few months afterwards. Just like he used to carry one of the embarrassing drawings you did of him in kindergarten, eyes lighting up every chance he got to proudly show it off to someone, despite your whining and groaning. To be honest, Minho was more like an embarrassing dad than your actual father and his actions proved that every day.

But, going down memory lane, you wouldn’t change him for the world.

Sure, your brother wasn’t much older than you, just by two years, but he has always taken his role as the older sibling very seriously. Beating up your bullies, chasing away annoying ex-boyfriends and making fun of an ugly haircut you cried yourself to sleep over were just a few of the many things Minho has done for you over the years. If there was one thing he constantly did, is always have your back no matter what. And you couldn’t be more thankful for getting a brother like him, even if he annoyed the fuck out of you sometimes.

But unfortunately, this isn’t a story of sibling love and devotion.

“Minho, what the fuck are you doing?!”

When your voice reaches his ears, he pulls away from the girl, visibly annoyed at being interrupted as she chases after his lips, wanting more, not yet noticing you. She, being one of your closest friends, that was currently sucking face with your brother. Your stupid brother who wasn’t allowed to cross the line of friendship with any of your friends, ever, but still did it anyway. And by the look on his face, he wasn’t sorry in the slightest.

Wiping at his lips shamelessly, Minho’s eyes meet yours as calm and nonchalant as always. “Y/n, what if I was naked? Do you not think before barging into random rooms at parties?”

Hearing your name, the girl finally looks up and her face flushes in embarrassment. Quickly grabbing her discarded shirt, she doesn’t bother putting it back on and instead runs off without looking at either of you. Well, at least someone has some shame left.

The door slams behind her and the loud music from downstairs is finally muffled enough for you to be able to hear your thoughts. As expected, Minho doesn’t even move from his place on the bed, nor does he look after the girl whose mouth was devouring his mere minutes ago. His careless nature doesn’t get your admiration this time but your quickly rising anger.

“Do you not think before shoving your tongue down someone’s throat?” you bite back, crossing your arms as a frown settles on your face.

He shrugs, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “I sure do. Just not with my brain if you know what I –“

“Minho, that was my friend!”

That shuts him up instantly, but not before letting out a big sigh and falling back on the many pillows scattered around. Seungmin owes you big time for stopping this guy from having sex on his very bed.

“Why the fuck did you do that?” You’re fuming by this point, annoyed at your stupid brother and his stupid face. Walking towards him, you then grab a pillow and start hitting him with it without caring where it lands.

He’s taken aback by your outburst so you manage to hit him in the face a couple of times before he raises his arms to block your attacks. “How was I supposed to know that?! You’re friends with half the campus, Y/n! I had no idea!”

“Liar!”

You see, normal siblings wouldn’t get into a fight over something like this. However, you and Minho were just…crazy at times, plain and simple. But your strangeness isn’t the reason for your argument, for once.

When you were younger, back in your first year of high school, Minho came up with this brilliant ‘rule’ that’s been in place until now. You pinky promised each other (since he insisted) that you would never date or hook up with the other’s friends to avoid making things awkward and uncomfortable when the relationship came to an end. Plain and simple – that was the Lee siblings' rule. Something you’ve struggled so much to follow over the years just for your stupid brother to break in less than 30 minutes of arriving at a party just because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.

But what’s making you see red right now is the feelings you’ve had to bottle up all of those years, all the sleepless nights teenage Y/n spent crying and daydreaming of an impossible future with the guy Minho didn’t allow her to get to know on a deeper level. All to satisfy his own selfish wishes. It wasn’t fair and it’s never been, so he deserves your wrath.

“Okay, okay,” Having had enough, he catches the pillow and throws it to the side before grabbing your wrists in case you wanted to go for one of the other five on the bed, “okay! I’m sorry! Can we just pretend nothing happened and go downstairs and have fun, please?”

You scoff, letting out a small laugh in disbelief. “You’d love that, wouldn’t you? Pretend nothing happened and be all sunshine and rainbows like you didn’t just break one of our biggest promises!”

Yeah, the silly Lee siblings’ rule was a big deal, but not as big as some of your other promises. Like the one you made when you were ten years old and he twelve, after a big fight that ended in you both ignoring each other for days. As you cried in his arms, you promised to never let anything get between you – to always work everything out and not let it damage your relationship.

Yeah, looks like that won’t happen anytime soon.

You see his eyes soften as he lets go of your wrists, scooting towards the end of the bed. “I’m sorry, Y/n. You know I didn’t mean it.”

Shaking your head, you turn your back to him and start walking off, giving up. “Whatever. I’ve had enough of you for tonight.”

And that’s the last time you spoke to your brother.

Okay, to be fair, it’s been like two days since that party but still. You’ve been doing a good job of ignoring him so far, you bet even he was proud of your perseverance.

At least you can count on your brother to always be proud of you because right now, your best friend certainly wasn’t.

“You want to do what?!”

Felix’s voice resonates throughout the empty apartment, the volume prompting you to make yourself even smaller on his couch. Standing up, the look he gives you is full of disbelief with a slice of good old disappointment and that almost crushes you on the spot. Good thing Felix’s outbursts are never that serious.

“Hear me out.” You try to defuse the situation with a pleading look, resorting to the puppy eyes.

He shakes his head with a sigh, exhaling deeply as he moves to sit on the coffee table in front of you, resting his elbows on his knees and bringing his hands together.

“I’ve been hearing you out since you got here, but go on. What other nonsense do you have to say?”

You frown but he doesn’t react at all, ignoring your antics. “Nonsense? You don’t even know what I want to say!”

“You want to use Han Jisung to get back at your brother.”

For a moment, neither of you says anything else, opting to just stare at the other until one inevitably gives in and this random staring contest ends. The silence stretches on but it’s not uncomfortable, it never is with Felix. It is, however, unusual. So out of the blue that you don’t mind being the loser for once.

“Why do you say his name like that?” You finally let out, raising an eyebrow.

“Like what?” He tilts his head to the side cutely and your heart flutters.

“Like it’s an insult. Like it makes you physically sick.”

“Oh, because it does.”

Your eyes widen.

“Felix!”

“Y/n.”

You shake your head, not believing your ears. To be fair, Felix has never been Jisung’s biggest fan, for reasons you’re well aware of, but he’s also never been so open about his dislike towards him before. It didn’t feel right. Your best friend, sunshine embodied, liked everyone. Okay, maybe not everyone, but every single one of your friends at least. Him disliking Jisung, the guy you grew up with and also have been crushing on since forever felt like a punch in the face.

You frown, not being able to control your facial expressions as you look up into his eyes. “Don’t be like this, Lix.”

With another sigh, Felix leans back on his hands and closes his eyes, defeated. “What do you want to do?”

There’s no stopping the smile that gradually makes its way on your face, nor the sparkle in your eye. “Play pretend, of course. I’ll trick Minho into thinking we’re dating by being super obnoxious when he’s around.”

He opens one eye. “That’s all?”

You nod enthusiastically. “Yep! It’s a great plan, right? Minho will totally lose his goddamn mind when he sees his best friend with me!”

However, Felix doesn’t seem convinced. “Is this why you’re doing this? Because of Minho?”

“Uh, duh! Have you not been listening to my rant for the past 45 minutes?”

“Yeah?” He checks again, sitting up straight and opening his eyes. “Or are you doing this because of your crush on Jisung? Because you feel like you can finally act on those ‘forbidden’ feelings?”

Your face feels warmer but you don’t respond – don’t confirm nor deny his hypothesis. As always, he’s able to read you like the back of his hand even when you, yourself, aren’t sure of the reasons for your actions. Minho made you angry; you feel betrayed. But is this all that’s prompting your behavior?

Until you’re able to finally admit some things to yourself, you won’t know.

But Felix doesn’t need to know that either. Admitting he might be right will cause his head to get abnormally big and explode all over his plush new carpet and Hyunjin will kill you. That you were sure of. Contrary to popular belief, a pretty boy’s wrath wasn’t pretty at all.

“Let me have my fun, Felix, please.” You plead, jutting out your bottom lip in a hopefully cute and heart-melting pout.

Shaking his head, Felix stands up and starts walking towards the kitchen. “You’ll do it even if I agree or not, so knock yourself out.”

There’s no time for celebrating before he suddenly turns to face you again, no hint of amusement or lightheartedness on his freckled face.

“Just don’t say I didn’t warn you when Han Jisung inevitably breaks your heart and you’re left struggling to put it back together.”

Delightful. Such a positive presence in your life this best friend of yours.

Letting the words marinate in your head overnight, you spend the rest of the day with Felix, watching romcoms and seeing who can keep it together and not burst into tears the longest. You, unsurprisingly, win.

The very next day is when your plan is finally put into action.

You were sure now, there was no better way of getting back at your brother than this. Employing the help of his childhood best friend, who’s been off-limits and out of reach for the majority of your life was bound to ruffle some of his feathers. Han Jisung, the man you’ve fantasized about calling your own for as long as you can remember. Minho was going to lose his mind while hopefully, his best friend was going to make you lose yours in a very, very enjoyable way – it was a win-win situation, really.

And despite Felix’s warnings, you were excited. Playing with fire has always sounded so fun, you couldn’t wait to see what all the fuss was about.

So, sticking to the plan, you texted said best friend and in less than an hour, had Felix drop you off at the little home studio his group, 3racha, called their own. Little was an understatement since this studio was at Changbin’s house and the guy was loaded, living in a mansion that still intimidated you with its size alone. Luckily, you’ve been here before, at one of his parties, with Minho so you saved yourself the embarrassment of getting lost on the way.

3racha was a three-man rap group consisting of Christopher, Changbin and Jisung, hence the name. In the beginning, back in high school, nobody seemed to take them too seriously but now, they were booked and busy almost every night performing at different clubs throughout the city. Seeing their popularity first-hand had been mind-blowing, leaving you a bit starstruck until the end of their set but it was also eye-opening. The girls in the audience made sure of that.

It showed you another side of Jisung, one you didn’t get to see growing up – one that was the complete opposite of his usual, laid-back, almost shy self. You would be lying if you said it didn’t intrigue you, or turn you on, but it also had the same effect on the people that came to see them perform every night.

The difference between you and them was that when he got off the stage, they got to act on those urges, while you didn’t. They ended the day in his bed while you went home and punched your pillow with tears in your eyes until you fell asleep. It was pathetic but it will all end today.

Knocking on the big double doors, you were greeted by who you believed was a maid. After stating your business, a two-minute conversation in which you didn’t stutter once, she moved to let you in before helping you get downstairs, to the basement. Playing with fire was one thing – but possibly getting murdered in a basement was something you really didn’t want to experience. God, who the fuck hangs out in a basement?

Your question was answered the moment you stepped in and the smell of smoke and weed enveloped all of your senses, causing you to cough and your eyes to water. Oh my god, what did you get yourself into?

Honestly speaking, you were expecting this. They were kids with money, after all, running around in a business that was dark and fucked up, where you either were corrupted or, did the corrupting. You were aware of this, of the way Jisung lived his life but you tended to forget about this side of his when he was constantly being a menace at your house, screaming and playing video games with Minho.

This was the Jisung you liked, after all. The cute guy next door who always made you laugh and occasionally drove you to school back in high school, making all of your friends jealous. Was that side of him all an act? Or was it this one?

Three heads look up as the door opens, and Jisung is the first one to greet you, but not before he takes another drag of a strange-looking joint.

“Hello, sweetheart. Missed me already?” He smirks as he exhales the smoke and you can’t help but roll your eyes, hoping that your body language doesn’t betray the way your heart flutters at the nickname. To him, you were never just ‘Y/n’. Since high school, it was always sweetheart, doll, or as of recently, baby, never Y/n. He’s given you so many nicknames over the years that at some point, you began to think he’s actually just forgotten your name and was too embarrassed to admit it. You wouldn’t put this past Han Jisung. You wouldn’t put anything past him, he was too unpredictable.

“Hi, Y/n. What brings you to my humble abode?” Changbin greets you with a smile, ruffling your hair as you walk past him to get to Jisung sitting in front of a big desk, laptop in his lap. You smile back, giving him a quick hug before high-fiving Chris once you're close enough, making sure to avoid the cigar in his hand.

Changbin’s humble abode was, as expected, not humble at all. The basement was huge, with multiple rooms from what you could tell at first glance, with their studio alone being the size of both yours and Minho’s rooms combined. Fancy equipment, mics, laptops and instruments were scattered everywhere, with cans of energy drinks, crumpled paper and notebooks. It was a mess, but in a comforting way, if it made sense. It looked lived in and not like a pigsty, despite the numerous ashtrays, cigs and weed in the back. You might've liked this room if it weren’t for the smell.

Once you get closer, Jisung puts aside his laptop and joint and opens his arms. “Come here, sweetness.”

You hesitate for a moment, looking between Chan and Changbin who barely notice your exchange before complying and hugging him, making sure to not linger in his strong arms. Then, you settle on the big, brown couch by the wall, opposite him.

“So, what’s burning? Your texts were very vague.” He continues, putting out his cig.

You get straight to the point, making yourself comfortable. “I need help with something.”

“And you want Ji to be your knight in shining armor?” Changbin snorts, shaking his head while Chan only chuckles and continues typing on the laptop before him. “I thought you were smarter than that, Y/n.”

Jisung turns to face him in his chair, throwing the opened notebook on his desk at his standing figure a few feet apart. As expected, Changbin catches it without much trouble and begins scolding him in a loud voice.

Looking up from his place at one of the three desks, Chan ignores their antics and gives you his undivided attention. “What happened?”

In another universe, you would totally have a crush on Christopher. He’s sweet, kind and overall, the perfect gentleman in your eyes and everyone else’s really. Unfortunately, in this universe, you’re stuck crushing on the biggest red flag in the room, Han Jisung. Life really wasn’t fair.

Trying to contain your anger at the mere memory of your brother, you answer simply. “Minho.”

That gets Jisung’s attention again, head wiping around in your direction. “Your brother? Did you guys fight again?”

You shake your head. “Of course. But that’s not the main problem here.”

“Then?”

All the members of 3racha are now intrigued, waiting for you to speak and fill them in, patiently. With a sigh and little to no hesitation, you look Jisung in the eyes, suddenly serious, which causes him to raise an eyebrow and scoot closer to you in his chair.

“Do you remember that rule Minho and I set in place back when I started high school?”

He’s quiet, deep in thought for a moment before it comes to him and he snaps his fingers like he just made the biggest discovery for humankind. “That dumb rule which forbade either of you to hook up with the other’s friends?”

You nod, and you can see Chan and Changbin being completely lost in the background. Makes sense since they weren’t around back then, nor were they ever that close to Minho to know about something so stupid that’s cockblocked you for as long as you could remember.

It feels kind of ironic coming to Jisung of all people to complain about what Minho did when he’s the reason behind the ‘rule’ in the first place. To prevent you from acting on your feelings back when Minho found out about your crush on his best friend, he came up with this rule that basically stated that neither of you was allowed to flirt, kiss, date or fuck any of the other’s friends. As a hormonal teenage girl, you were devastated but then as time went on, that godforsaken rule helped you in more ways than you’d like to admit. It cleared out all of the fake people in your life who only befriended you for a chance at your brother’s heart while for him, it eliminated the possibility of conflict in his friend group. All’s well that ends well.

Until it wasn’t. Until today.

“What about it, sweetheart?” The velvety voice you’ve come to love calls out to you gently, dark eyes softening when he notices the frown on your face.

“Wait a second.” Changbin chimes in, walking closer to you two. “What the fuck kind of rule is that?”

Jisung rolls his eyes, not appreciating the fact that your conversation was interrupted. “Shut up and let Y/n speak, ass.”

They start to bicker like little kids, all in good fun, but your mood only gets worse. Noticing, Chan clears his throat and speaks louder, to drown them out. “Did Minho break the rule?”

Again, a complete gentleman.

The two get quiet instantly and Changbin gasps, surprised, in his dramatic manner. Jisung’s attention is yours again and he stands, coming to sit next to you on the couch in case you need comforting. He’s known you for half your life, after all, it’s like second nature to him.

Letting out a big sigh, you nod once again. “Yes, he did. I caught him making out with one of my close friends, of all people! Can you believe this?! Who does he even think he is?”

The questions are all addressed to Jisung whose eyes widen gradually when he notices your anger, immediately shaking his head. Looks like he also didn’t see this coming, nor did Minho tell him anything. Perfect. That makes him easier to win over.

You continue. “To be honest, it’s not even about the fact that he kissed her! What pisses me off is the hypocrisy, the nerve!”

“For years all he did was blabber on and on about how his friends are off limits, that I shouldn’t even think about getting closer to any of them!”

They all nod at your every word, so in sync it makes them look like three little bobblehead dolls. Kind of creepy but strangely cute at the same time.

Changbin is the first one to snap out of it and speak, this new information having him too invested to take a seat. “So does that mean…” he trails off in the middle of his sentence, a big smirk stretching across his features, “you’ve had a crush on one of us?”

You feel your face getting warmer under their piercing stares and suddenly, Jisung’s proximity feels suffocating. The centimetres between your bodies feel nonexistent as you realize how easy it is to just reach out and hold his hand, hug him or do all of those things you’re always daydreaming about. Minho broke the rule that caused you to hold back and bottle up all of your feelings, how long until you finally snap and let it all out to the surface?

Then, like he just had the same epiphany as you, Jisung closes the distance between your bodies and slings an arm around your shoulders casually, your skin burning pleasantly at the touch.

“Hey, hey, let’s not make the girl uncomfortable now.” He sends a glare Changbin’s way before quickly turning back to you, leaning closer to your face and lowering his voice. “But it’s me, right, baby? You’ve had a cute, innocent teenage crush on me?”

Oh, if only he knew how much that crush developed over the years. It flourished and bloomed into something you still wonder how you managed to keep at bay for so long. And your fantasies were far from innocent.

Trying to calm your pounding heart, you do your best to ignore him and act as normal as possible but he still catches the way you swallow thickly. That causes him to smirk and back off, satisfied his teasing got a reaction out of you. “You guys realize Minho has other friends too, right?”

You see Chan lighting up another cigarette as Changbin scoffs, crossing his arms. “So, what, you’re telling me you’ve had a crush on one of his boring little dancer friends?”

You shrug, Jisung’s arm heavy around you. “Why not? Hyunjin is hot as hell.”

Chan raises an eyebrow, exhaling the smoke in his lungs. “Hyunjin has a girlfriend.”

“Exactly!” you respond a bit too quickly, surprising them all. “And if it weren’t for Minho’s big ass mouth that could have been me! ME!”

Complete silence follows your statement for a solid minute before Jisung snorts, which prompts Changbin to burst out laughing and Chan to giggle cutely. Great, now they’re all laughing at you. You have half a mind to hide your face in Jisung’s chest when he pulls away and stands up, leaving you completely flabbergasted.

Once his laughter dies down, Changbin, now sitting next to you, tries again. “What about Felix?”

You can’t help but frown, confused, before turning to him. “What about him? Felix is my best friend.”

“Exactly.”

He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, almost making you gag as images of you and Felix doing anything other than innocent, platonic things invade your mind. What the fuck is Changbin getting at here? Does he want to see you get sick all over his expensive equipment? Because you will, but he won’t be pleased.

Most likely taking pity on you, Jisung chimes in. “Leave her alone, Bin. If they were to have feelings for each other, they would have been a couple already.”

Chan nods, but that’s when you realize he is already back in his own world, headphones firmly in place while he types away, absorbed in his work. Fortunately, Changbin gives up easily and ruffles your hair before standing up, putting an end to the uncomfortable conversation.

Your eyes fly to Jisung once again just in time to see him put on his jacket, sending a wink your way when your gazes meet.

“Come on, let’s get some fresh air, sweetheart.”

Well, he doesn’t have to tell you twice.

You leave Chan and Changbin to their work and follow Jisung up the stairs until you get to a small balcony in a hallway, all white stone, tall pillars and marble that make you feel like a hopeless princess trapped in a big, haunted castle. Haunted but breathtaking castle, with a view of the modern driveway in which you recognize Jisung’s sleek car.

Once outside, he takes a deep breath of the fresh air before pulling out another cig and lighting it almost instantly.

“So,” he says once he takes a drag, exhaling the smoke out in the open without sparing you a glance, “what do you want to do?”

You weren’t one for smoking but Jisung made it look so beautiful and enticing. The way his lips puckered around the stick, how he exhaled deeply through his nose when talking to you while the sun rays caressed his smooth skin, longer hair staying perfectly in place despite the wind. He was beautiful. He’s always been beautiful but now it felt like you were truly seeing him for the first time. Seeing all of him, with the good and bad.

His gaze moves to yours as he leans on the railing, ever so patient and you clear your throat, trying to act like you weren’t just caught up in another daydream.

“Help me get back at Minho.”

Both of his bleached eyebrows raise in surprise, clearly not expecting the turn this conversation took. It’s silly, and childish – plotting against your brother at this age but if there is one person that would never judge you, Han Jisung is the first that comes to mind. You feel comfortable around him, like you can be yourself without holding back despite the crush that’s been torturing you for years. You don’t know what spell he’s got you under but frankly, you don’t really care right now.

“How?” He’s curious and a bit amused as the corners of his mouth turn upwards slightly around the cigarette.

Suddenly, you realize you haven’t thought so far ahead. Sure, you know exactly what you want to do but how are you going to tell him about it without making sure he wasn’t going to laugh in your face? Birds of a feather flock together and him and Minho were best friends – Jisung was going to tease the fuck out of you if you fumbled it now.

Shallowing down your nerves, you mumble under your breath.

Confused, he gets closer. “What?”

Your voice gets a tiny bit louder, but still not enough for him to make out the words.

“I can’t hear you, sweetheart.”

With a huff, you hope he can’t make out how embarrassed you are or how your voice shakes. “By pretending we’re hooking up in front of him.”

Jisung blinks, absentmindedly throwing his smoke out the balcony before a laugh bubbles out of him, one so clear and childlike it pulls at your heartstrings hard.

“Wait, so that’s your big master plan? Fooling Minho into thinking we’re fucking?”

You shrug, putting some hair behind your ear as you turn to look at the view. “Pretty much, yeah. You’re his best friend. Seeing me latch my claws into you is bound to upset him in some way or another.”

“That’s hot.” He breathes out, lightly biting down on his bottom lip as he stares at your side profile. “Forget Minho, you can latch your claws into me anytime you want, beautiful.”

This time, you’re the one who can’t help but laugh and he joins in seconds later, turning your whole body towards him. “Shut up, Ji. So, are you going to help me, or not?”

Rubbing his chin, he pretends to think about it while his smile fades gradually. “That depends, pretty. What’s in it for me? I can’t be expected to put my ass on the line without getting anything in return, now, can I?”

You frown. “What do you want?”

He comes closer but still respects your personal bubble. “I hope you know your brother will beat my ass when he sees us together.”

“You can take him.”

He laughs, throwing his head back like a child. “Believe me, we train together. I know what he’s capable of. Minho will break my neck for putting a hand on his baby sister.”

You roll your eyes, properly annoyed by now. “Whatever. Just answer the question.”

“I’ll think about it. Come to my gig tonight and we’ll talk more then, yeah, doll?” Jisung smiles so prettily, it’s almost enough to convince you of giving him everything he’d ever ask for.

“Is this your way of getting me to come just so you can show off, Ji?”

He winks, finally stepping back. “Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. You’ll have to come and see for yourself, baby.”

And who are you to refuse an invitation from J.one himself?

-----

Tonight’s show comes quicker than you would have liked but you still manage to pull yourself together just enough to hopefully blow Han Jisung’s mind when he sees you. Enough to have him up on stage, so mesmerized that he forgets all of his lyrics and tumbles down the steps to get to you faster, to never let you go. So enthralled –

“Earth to Y/n?”

Felix waves his hand in front of your face and manages to pull you away from your delusions, slight concern written on his features. “You good?”

“Oh, Lix, I’m great!” You try to conceal your excitement but as expected, it doesn’t work since everyone could see you buzzing from a mile away. Especially Felix that was sitting right next to you in the driver’s seat. “Are you ready?”

“No.” You roll your eyes at his predictable answer, brushing away his grumpiness as you both take off your seatbelts at the same time. “But let’s go. The faster we go in, the faster we get out.”

“You know this isn’t how it works, right?” He’s silent, giving you both time to get out of the car. “The show won’t start any sooner than scheduled just because you demand it.”

He’s the one who rolls his eyes now, mumbling something under his breath before walking ahead without even looking back at you.

“Lix! Wait for me!”

Felix, for all the years you’ve known him, has never been so against doing something in his life. Sure, you understand his dislike towards Jisung and his group but since he was accompanying you tonight, you thought he would be a bit happier. You had no idea what beef they might have, these two, but maybe you can finally clear the air tonight.

He slows down as he hears you approach, holding out his hand which you grasp gladly. “Come on, Seungmin and Jeongin are inside already.”

Not like you could spot them anyway since the moment you stepped into the club, you realized how packed it actually was. You knew 3racha was getting big, but not this big. The chatter was as loud as the music, bodies pressed together in hopes of getting more room and the heat was unbearable. The venue was big but most of the people were still hanging around the entrance, blocking your access to the stage and at the same time, Jisung. The flashing lights were already making your eyes feel tired, so you let Felix lead you through the mass of partygoers, walking in like he owned the place straight to the table Seungmin and your other friends rented for the night. What would you do without him?

Perish, most likely.

“Hey, you made it!” Jeongin is the first to welcome you, pushing past your other friends to hug you both. “I was afraid you wouldn’t find us among the craziness.”

“I mean, I wouldn’t have but Felix is a walking navigation system.” You both laugh and Felix, despite rolling his eyes, chuckles too.

“Who knew your boyfriend was this popular?” Seungmin joins in the chatter, high-fiving Felix and thinking he could get away with only patting your back in greeting. Ignoring his comment, for the time being, you don’t let him move away without throwing your arms around his neck and bringing him into a hug, which makes him groan in fake annoyance.

Jeongin and Seungmin have been by your side for as long as you can remember. Along with Felix, you were lucky enough to have two other amazing best friends who had your back no matter what, sticking with you through thick and thin. However, unlike Felix, they were actually on board with you developing a relationship with Jisung, with Seungmin encouraging it every chance he got. But Seungmin wasn’t such a reliable source of support in the matter since he basically lived to annoy your brother, his misery being his joy. They were like cats and dogs, doing everything and anything to make the other’s life hard in some way or another. It was entertaining, you weren’t going to lie, but it also made it harder for you to tell if he actually supported the idea wholeheartedly or did it just to piss Minho off. The world may never know.

“Come, sit with me.” Jeongin grabs your hand and drags you to sit next to him in the booth. Felix takes a seat opposite you and after greeting everyone else, Jeongin leans down to whisper in your ear. “Jisung came by earlier, looking for you.”

“Really?” Your eyes widen, pulling back to look at his face to make sure he isn’t playing you.

He laughs at your disbelief before pulling you back down to make himself heard over the loud music. “Yeah. He was a bit disappointed when we told him you weren’t here yet, probably thought you were a no-show.”

Your heart drops for a moment, suddenly feeling bad you didn’t get here sooner. Was he that eager to see you? But that makes no sense. Did he think you were going to bring Minho? Yeah, that’s probably it.

Oblivious to your inner turmoil, Jeongin continues. “He bought us these drinks, too. Though I’m sure they’re more for you than anyone else, to be honest.”

You begin scanning the table that was already overflowing with shots and bottles of liquor, champagne and even water. Jisung spent all this money on you? You?! That can’t be right…

Looking up, your eyes search Felix’s but for once, he’s too busy laughing at something Seungmin and your other friends are telling him to notice your distress. Turning back to Jeongin, you ask.

“Have you seen him since?”

He nods and points somewhere over your booth. “He’s right there by the stage.”

You try to spot him from your seat, standing up to get a better look before you hear Changbin’s loud and infectious laugh, which helps you see them instantly. With a quick promise of your return, you exit the booth and follow the sound of his voice to the stage, pushing and elbowing people out of your way without a care in the world. You were a woman on a mission and nothing and nobody was going to stop you from getting what you want tonight. You’ve been patient enough already, you deserve this.

Finally reaching the stage, you get a good look at the members of 3racha, all three surrounded by fans and other people eager for a chance at their attention. Chan and Changbin were on opposite sides of the stage, chatting away while Jisung was right in the middle. When your eyes fall on him, however, you can’t help but frown as you get closer, ignoring all the glares sent your way as some people begin muttering under their breath.

As expected, Jisung wasn’t alone nor did he have any time to get lonely. All around him, there were girls and boys, fluttering their eyelashes, playing with their hair and stepping on each other’s toes just to have him spare them a second glance. Jisung was beautiful, we’ve already established that, but that same beauty suddenly reminded you of the reason you didn’t attend their performances that often.

At the end of every gig, Jisung liked to take a lucky fan or two back to his dressing room, hotel, or wherever they were staying at the moment. This was a known fact since all three of the boys did it, but still, it didn’t make you any less uncomfortable. But as much as you hated it, you couldn’t help but wonder, if the circumstances of your relationship were different, would he also pick you? Would he find you attractive enough to take you back to his place and have his way with you?

“Y/n, you made it!

Changbin’s voice helps you return to the moment at hand, his loud voice causing everyone around them to turn and stare at you curiously. That also includes Jisung, whose eyes light up as you finally reach him.

Changbin comes to your side for a brief hug before he’s pulled away by some girls while Chan shoots you a warm smile and lazy wave from afar, too caught up in his conversation to come over.

Jisung doesn’t move, and that helps you notice the arm he has wrapped around a girl, presumably a groupie if the hungry look she gives him is anything to go by. Oh great, he’s already taken his pick for tonight. You were going to be sick.

When your eyes move back to meet his, you find him already staring at you and your heart stops as you quickly realize he noticed your staring. He smirks, all smug and way too sexy in his stupid black and white string shirt, with his hair done up nicely. It’s been a few hours since you’ve last seen each other but Jisung looked like another person, the slightly smudged eyeliner and faint color on his lips making him look like a proper celebrity.

“I thought you backed out, pretty.” He finally speaks, leaning back against the stage. “I’m glad I was wrong.”

You ignore all the stares from the people around him and cross your arms, speaking louder over the music. “And why would I back out?”

Jisung shrugs. “Yongbok is a bad influence on you.”

The irony of the situation almost has you bursting out in laughter, the all too familiar words making you experience déjà vu. Felix has said the same thing about Jisung numerous times, so hearing him say them back was hilarious to you. These two had much more in common than they liked to admit.

Shaking your head, you uncross your arms. “We should talk.”

He nods and the little crowd of groupies parts before him, the sight creepier and more unsettling than it should be. Was Jisung running a little cult on the side you were unaware of? Because if so, you were ready to run back to Felix and admit he was right in a heartbeat.

Jisung doesn’t seem phased as he leans down to whisper something to the girl in his arms, something funny apparently since she giggles and meekly slaps his chest in response. You don’t try to hide the exasperated look on your face even as he gets closer and grabs your hand to drag you away, and that causes his smile to turn into a cheeky smirk. He’s enjoying this – of course, he is.

You walk past Changbin, who’s still talking with the girls from before as Jisung leads you by the hand somewhere to his right, to a more secluded area. His hand in yours is soft and slightly cold, the big, silver rings adorning his fingers causing a pleasant shiver to run down your spine. You’re stuck staring at the back of his head for a few minutes and that’s when you finally notice a dark undercut he certainly wasn’t sporting that afternoon. The sight makes you weak in the knees, and you have to control the sudden urge to run your nails over the freshly cut hair. Oh, he went all out for this performance.

How did he know the undercut was your favorite?

Opening a door that clearly states ‘dressing room #1’, he lets you enter first before following and closing it behind him, finally silencing the loud chatter and music from outside. There, you lose the comfort of his hand as he plops down on the rugged-down, brown couch that’s pushed against the far wall with a sigh.

“Have a seat, sweetie.” He breathes out, reaching up to run his hands through his hair before he seems to remember it's all pretty and decides against it.

You do, but on the chair that’s in front of the lit-up vanity, turning it around to face him. The room is tiny, filled with makeup and some of Jisung’s more casual clothes, his guitar and pack of cigs and the smell of his cologne that floats around everywhere. It’s a bit intimidating, being alone with him in such a constricting place but you have to admit that’s part of the thrill of finally playing with the fire he ignites in you.

There’s no beating around the bush now. “So, Ji. Are you going to help me?”

“Wait, you were serious?” He blinks, sitting up straight. “Sweetheart, I had you wait until tonight to have this conversation again because I thought you would come to your senses.”

Your eyes widen, a bit offended by his last comment. “What? Why would you even think that I’m joking?!”

There’s a pause before he responds, voice quieter. “I didn’t really believe you would come to me of all people for help.”

The vulnerability hidden behind that statement has you opening and closing your mouth like a fish out of water, completely taken aback. He sounds so fragile and insecure, a sight so out of the ordinary for you who’s always only seen his confident and laidback side.

It makes you want to hug him, reassure and hold him in your arms. So, finally free from the burden of Minho’s promise, you actually do.

Standing up, you close the small distance between you both and sit down next to him on the couch before tentatively wrapping your arms around his neck. When he doesn’t protest or pull away, you bring him closer.

“And why wouldn’t I?” you whisper and you feel him relax in your embrace, wrapping one of his own arms around your middle. “I trust you a lot, Ji.”

“You do?”

“Of course,” his hold on you tightens and the butterflies in your stomach start to choke you up, needing the release, “I’ve known you for half my life, after all. You’re my go-to troublemaker.”

Finally, he laughs, pulling away slightly to look at your face. “God, you’re so cheesy.”

“Only for you, baby.” You wink and he breaks the embrace for good, visibly cringing but still laughing.

His laugh had always been one of your favorite sounds, instantly bringing a smile to your face no matter the circumstances. Wanting to hear it a bit more, you continue, crossing your arms with a pout.

“This is how you sound every time you talk to me! Now you know how it feels.”

He raises an eyebrow as his smile fades and he suddenly comes closer in a swift motion, the couch dipping lightly when he invades your personal space. “Sorry, baby.” His voice is low and the proximity causes your heart rate to pick up significantly. “Let me make it up to you.”

You can’t speak, breathe, or think for several moments as he remains there, giving you this smouldering look you’ve seen him only use on stage. You’re left standing there looking at him, mouth agape as your brain screams at you to pull yourself together, to not give him the satisfaction of seeing the effect he has on you. His eyes scan your face, almost like he is memorizing your features but at the same time, not lingering on anything for too long or giving you a glimpse into his intricate mind.

Has time stopped, why isn’t he pulling away?!

“See, it’s not as bad as you made it out to be.” He winks and pulls away, acting like he didn’t just take your breath away straight from your lungs. “You like it.”

“I do not!” You protest, mind still fuzzy and he chuckles, putting more distance between you.

There’s a moment of brief silence as Jisung checks his phone and you begin to think you might actually not be crazy. There is something between you two and he most certainly felt it right now.

Something wanting to snap and be free.

“Okay, so how do we do this thing?” Gently throwing his phone to the side, he shifts on the couch to face you, still as relaxed as ever. “How do we fool your brother?”

“I have an idea.” You mumble, suddenly nervous. Not actually sudden at all since you’ve been nervous since you stepped into this room with him. Jisung nods and reaches for a smoke, waiting for you to continue as he lights it up.

“For starters, I think a few posts on social media could plant the idea of something going on in his head.”

Nodding, he exhales the smoke and you instinctively lean back. “So, you want to…take some pictures together? That’s all?”

The way he says it, with amusement in his voice, makes your face warm up in embarrassment but for an entirely different reason than before. You feel stupid. For all your anger a few hours prior, he thinks your plan is the most vanilla thing in the world.

And he hates vanilla. Just your luck, really.

Mustering all the courage available at your disposal, you try to appear as confident as ever as you decide to go with the other version of your plan. The one Felix hated the most.

“Sure, simple enough, right?” you nod and with no warning, make your way closer to him on the couch, your knees touching. If he’s surprised, Jisung doesn’t show it and keeps the same level look in his sparkling eyes as he turns his head to the side to not blow the smoke right in your face.

“Now,” taking your phone out, you come even closer, leaning towards him until your faces are mere inches apart. “Kiss me.”

For the first time in your life, you can see Han Jisung’s brain short-circuit, hand freezing mid-way to his lips while the cigarette continues to burn, ash falling onto his ripped black jeans. He blinks and stares in disbelief, dumbfounded while you just smile, not being able to hide your delight at his reaction. Taking someone by complete surprise and closing their mouth in the process has never been more fun.

Innocence is what you try to portray with your growing smile and head tilted to the side. “Jisung? Are you okay?”

He seems to snap out of it at the call of his name, clearing his throat before putting out his cig. When he turns back to you, his eyes are darker and you can’t help but gasp as he gets a hold of your shoulders with his big hands, increasing the distance between you so he can breathe.

“Y/n.” You almost recoil as your name leaves his plush lips, eyes widening in shock. He hasn’t used your name in ages so now you feel like you’re about to get the scolding of your life, like you committed the worst crime known to man. It doesn’t feel right at all, and your heart hurts a little as he ignores the shock on your face and carries on.

“Don’t play with me like that.” His voice is low, icy even and that baffles you even more than his words. “I’m all up for games but this isn’t one I’m willing to play.”

A moment passes with you staring into each other’s eyes before you scoff loudly, shaking off his hands and standing up altogether. “Why can’t you ever take me seriously?”

His eyes don’t leave yours. “Because you’ve been sprouting nonsense since I saw you this afternoon! I get you’re throwing a tantrum but how ridiculous can you be, Y/n?”

There’s no way Jisung is being serious right now. You can’t believe your ears. After the little speech you gave him, he has the audacity to speak to you like this?

“Throwing a tantrum?” Your voice raises in volume, getting angry. “I’m not a fucking child, Jisung!”

“Yet you keep acting like one, Y/n.”

Oh, that’s rich coming from him of all people.

“Fuck you.” There’s no hesitation as you spit out the words, glaring at him like you would at your brother. Great, he was reminding you of him now. So much for the happily ever after you envisioned by his side – even when he isn’t present, Minho still manages to fuck up your love life somehow.

He lets out a short laugh, not genuine in the slightest. “See. Childish.”

Your anger simmers and almost bubbles to the surface but you force it back down, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of actually acting like a spoiled child. It’s all coming back to you now, the reason you and Jisung didn’t actually spend time together. Since becoming a part of Chan’s group, he turned into a pain in the ass, an arrogant asshole that thought he was so high and mighty when in reality, he was just horrible. Horrible with his friends, with his fans and with everyone that wasn’t part of his little fame bubble. Sometimes you wondered why Minho was still his friend, as bad as that sounds. He was nothing like the best friend he grew up with, the ray of sunshine that used to brighten his gloomy days

The Jisung you fell for years ago was a ghost now, a sweet memory you carried dearly in your heart and kept safe like a precious souvenir. It was bittersweet, remembering how he used to be but despite that, your feelings didn’t budge. You still cared for him, deeply, and seeing him at your house occasionally, playing with Minho brought back the hope that you abandoned a long time ago in regards to him ever returning to normal.

Of course, that never lasts. It never does.

Defeated, you shake your head and make for the door, not even sparing him a second glance. “Whatever, forget about it. I was stupid to believe you would actually help me.”

These words are meant to hurt him, but why are you the one in pain?

“I’ll just go and ask Chan instead.” You don’t even know why you’re still explaining yourself to him and that makes you angry again. Without another word, you open the door but before you can take another step, a big hand appears and closes it abruptly.

The sound startles you, just like his sudden presence behind you and there’s no stopping the way your breath hitches in your throat. However, you don’t turn around, still hurt because of his words. He doesn’t seem to care and leans forward, his chest flush against your back while his hot breath hits your cheek. The contact causes you to shiver and goosebumps appear on your arms, knuckles turning white on the doorknob.

Jisung notices, because, of course, he does. However, he doesn’t tease you as expected. Seems like he isn’t in the mood for it either, not anymore.

“Fine, you want me to take you seriously?” His velvety voice hits your ear, quieter than you’ve ever heard it before and your heart skips a beat. His dominant hand remains on the door, trapping you between it and his body but the other doesn’t join, still giving you a way out. The position you’re now in is close, intimate and without meaning to, you cave and turn around to look at him. This allows him to come forward, no longer pressing against you but just a breath away from your lips, tempting you to take action, to close the almost non-existent space left and melt into him.

“Kiss me yourself.”

Surprise flashes across your features, not sure if you’ve heard him right or not. But Jisung doesn’t budge and continues to stare into your eyes deeply, defiantly even, the shimmering glitter that adorns them not softening his intense gaze at all. It feels like you can’t breathe properly as his words slowly sink in but your arms still move to reach for him like a lifeline, the need to feel him beneath your fingers greater than the one for air. When your palms settle on his broad chest, he inhales sharply, resting his forehead against yours as your noses collide gently.

You’re sharing the same breath now but the tension only grows, almost flickering in the air. Suffocating but still so delicious.

Neither of you seems to be in a hurry as one of your hands moves upwards on his chest until it reaches his jaw, cupping it gingerly while the other fists his shirt. You can’t bring him any closer without doing the inevitable but you can still prolong this, thumb reaching out to trace his bottom lip to which he responds by grabbing your hips and connecting your lower halves. You both exhale through your mouths at the contact, the desperation quickly building up and eating away at your sanity.

There’s no doubt in your mind that he feels the same, now. Carnally, at least.

Still taking it slow, you realize he loves making you lose your mind as much as you love it when you teasingly kiss the corner of his mouth and he pushes into you, pinning your body against the door. A whimper escapes your mouth and he smirks faintly, pupils blown wide.

“What’s wrong?” He whispers so close to your lips that your hand drops to grab his chin roughly, keeping his head in place while his smirk only grows. “Cat got your tongue?”

The world outside this little room has disappeared completely and now you only see, hear and feel him. Nothing else matters. That’s why you feel like you might go completely crazy if you spend even another second not kissing him, finally indulging in something you’ve wanted for so long.

The smug smirk on his face drops as the hand on his chest moves up to wrap around his neck, his hold on you bruising when he sees the way your lips part and eyes flutter shut. Finally, you were going to do it. You were going to kiss Han Jisung and make a mess of his pretty hair and stage makeup, have him moan and curse lowly into your mouth just like you’ve always fantasized about.

But your luck never lasts that long.

Your lips barely get the chance to touch briefly when suddenly, you feel yourself falling backwards as the door opens, a loud yelp escaping your mouth. Fortunately, Jisung snaps out of it quicker and pulls you back towards him, strong arm wrapped around your waist securely. Your own arms drop to his middle as you bury your head in his chest, embarrassed when you recognize the voice that’s come to interrupt your fairytale. It feels like those moments when you’re rudely awakened by your alarm in the morning while you’re busy dreaming about marrying your celebrity crush.

Both instances are just as frustrating and heartbreaking.

“Oh, sorry guys.” Chan laughs awkwardly before clearing his throat. “But uh, the show’s about to start so, um… Jisung, if you will – “

You feel his chest move as he exhales, clearly annoyed. “Yeah, yeah, I’m coming.”

That’s all Chan needs to walk away, a bit too eager to escape the uncomfortable situation. When you dare look up again, Jisung is already looking down at you, putting some hair behind your ear gently. He’s doing a much better job at masking his frustration at being interrupted than you currently are.

His voice is still quiet as he speaks, but now for a different reason. “After the show, take everyone and come to the VIP section. I’ll wait for you there.”

You nod and he forces a smile, the new emotion in his eyes a bit too complicated to make out when your head is still spinning all over the place. Giving your shoulder a friendly squeeze, Jisung then detaches from you and moves to walk away first, finally dawning on him the importance of the show and how he cannot just keep lingering here.

Before he’s completely out of earshot, you speak up. “Jisung!”

He turns briefly, now in a hurry.

“Break a leg out there!” You smile.

And he finally returns it, genuinely. “Thanks, sweetheart.”

When he disappears, you remain there for a moment longer to pull yourself together, making sure you look presentable enough to not raise any suspicion. Looking in the vanity’s lit-up mirror, your fingers find your lips and the slightly smeared lipstick, tracing them lightly while remembering the way his own lips felt. They were so close, yet still so far as they seemed to have slipped right through these very fingers, harshly pulled away from you in the worst way.

Will you ever get a chance like that again?

But more importantly, will you actually take it?

Shaking your head, you quickly fix your lipstick before leaving and closing the door on everything that’s transpired with Jisung in the last 20 minutes. If you want to remain sane, you have to forget it all, for now.

Reaching your friends isn’t as challenging as before and when you make it to your seat, with Jeongin already excited about the gossip you brought back, the lights turn off. Everyone gasps and cheers as the booming music signaling the performance starts, and you let out a small sigh, relieved you won’t have to get into it right away.

From where you’re all sitting, you can see smoke enveloping the stage and it all goes quiet again for a moment before a spotlight turns on and the members of 3racha appear, one by one, to the beat of their favorite song. The crowd grows wild, and you aren’t an exception, your whole table cheering as loud as everyone else as the whole vibe of the venue changes.

Emotions are running high for everyone as their performance stars, adrenaline and excitement running through your veins from the first song to the last. Everyone is dancing and singing along, with some knowing the lyrics by heart and it feels like the room is spinning with their energy and stomping around. Grabbing Felix, who seems way happier than before thanks to the alcohol, you also stand up to dance and scream along to the music and your happiness only multiplies when you see him doing the same.

3racha’s stage presence is no joke, neither is their talent as Changbin gets the whole venue to chant their names at some point, leaving the crowd begging for an encore they can’t help but deliver. Throughout the whole performance, no matter if he’s rapping or jumping around, Jisung’s eyes seem to find you one way or another and every time, he winks or smirks at your excitement. He’s visibly pleased and unknown to you, that fuels him up better than any crowd could and prompts him to give the performance of a lifetime.

By the end, you’re left buzzing and more awake than ever, throwing your arms around Felix and thanking him for accompanying you tonight.

After, a waiter comes over to your booth and escorts your whole group to the VIP section of the club, where tonight’s stars are. You really weren’t expecting Jisung to send someone or even remember what he said, too busy having fun with his fanclub to be bothered.

The VIP area is a breath of fresh air compared to the rest of the club, with AC and fewer people. It’s fancy and luxurious and among the other patrons, you spot the guys instantly.

Their place consists of a bunch of sofas and three coffee tables in the middle, all filled with alcohol and the weed they love so much. There are other people among them when you arrive and besides their manager and choreographer, you don’t recognize anyone else. The choreographer is Minho’s teacher, after all, the one who taught him everything he knows.

“Well, this is fancy.” Seungmin hums, impressed.

Chan smiles behind his cigar, glass of whiskey in hand. “Only the best for our friends.” He winks and Seungmin looks away, rolling his eyes, but you swear there’s a faint blush on his cheeks.

“You guys were amazing! I think this was your best performance yet!” Jeongin joins in, all smiles, eyes turning into two crescent moons, the sight so adorable you can’t help but reach over and squeeze one of his cheeks, not being able to stop yourself. He groans and swats your hand away but unfortunately for him, Felix is on his other side, so he doesn’t catch any breaks before his cheeks get squished together again. You laugh as he succumbs to his faith, knowing first-hand how strong Felix is and how difficult it would be to fight him off.

Changbin, who’s the only one surrounded by groupies, boys and girls, exclaims a bit too loudly. “Aw, Innie! Thank you!”

Everyone laughs at his high-pitched voice, besides Jeongin who just cringes and moves to take a shot once he escapes Felix’s claws. Alcohol makes Changbin’s true personality shine through in a hilarious way each time – there’s never a dull moment with him around.

Across from the chaos, Jisung, who’s been silently sipping his drink so far, locks eyes with you before beckoning you closer without a word. You’ve calmed down since whatever the fuck happened in his dressing room so you have no problem standing up and walking over to him, also a bit curious about his missing cult. Were they waiting for him in a basement somewhere with the ritual on hold?

“Before you say anything, just know that Minho doesn’t allow me to join shady cults.”

He blinks up at you, confused out of his mind and the look on his face makes you laugh. Jisung smiles at the sound, but the gesture doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Sorry, sorry.” You shake your head, stopping in front of him. “What’s up?”

It’s surprising how normal you can actually act around him after he’s managed to turn your whole world upside down with a mere sentence. After the intense moment you’ve shared before when you thought your heart was going to explode into teeny tiny pieces right on his shirt. The stupid shirt that’s hugging his waist perfectly, sleeves a bit too long over his hands.

The part of you that resents what he’s become is also dormant now, to your surprise. You haven’t been this angry at him in years, your last argument ending with you both ignoring each other for months.

Maybe you’re both tired of fighting.

“Come here.” He throws his drink back before setting the glass down and grabbing his phone.

Without meaning to, you do and when you’re within arms’ reach, Jisung gently pulls you down by the hand until your faces are mere inches away. Your eyes widen, and you panic, but before you can jerk away, he closes the distance and places a gentle smooch on your cheek that lingers for a moment too long. Not that you mind.

But, the unexpected gesture still leaves you frozen in your spot even after he lets go, gaze slowly moving to meet his for an explanation.

The smirk he sports is shameless as he signals you to take a seat on the arm of the comfy, fluffy white chair he’s currently lounging in. For a moment, you think about taking a seat in his lap, wanting to get the upper hand and fluster him back but, you quickly come to your senses and decide otherwise.

“What was that for?” You get straight to the point, staring him down. A thin layer of sweat now adorns his sunkissed skin and his styled, blonde hair has become nothing short of a mess. An attractive mess nonetheless, since you swear, he looks even better than before. You didn’t think that was even possible but there he was, proving you wrong once again.

Instead of using his words, Jisung just shows you his phone. Curious, you lean down to find a picture of two faceless people sharing a kiss – wait a second…it’s you! It’s a picture of the kiss you just shared.

But wait. He’s only just kissed your cheek…

Oh, he was good.

“Think this will be enough to trick Minho for tonight?” He smiles faintly, more reserved than he’s ever been with you and that kind of throws you off. Although, you can understand why he’s acting the way he is, considering what just happened.

“You,” A pause, taking hold of his phone, “made it look like we’re kissing for real.”

He grins. “I’m pretty great, right?”

Your eyes glide over to look at him, shoulders slumping slightly. “But why? I thought you didn’t want to help me.”

“I’ve changed my mind.” He wastes no time in explaining, looking straight into your eyes. Even in the poorly lit room, you can see his gaze soften, features relaxing as a mischievous smile makes its way onto his lips.

There he was, the Jisung you fell in love with. The menace Minho forbid you from ever pursuing.

“Let’s do this, sweetheart. Let’s get back at your selfish brother.”

Game on.

couldn't tag: @briqnne @seungminsapuppy @telehan

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disastoruslifeofaad · 1 year ago

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★ STORIES WITH LEE MINHO . . .

pairing › lee minho x gn reader. genre › social media. warnings › kms jokes, jokingly mean to each other dynamic.

these were originally posted on my main, hyeoniez. now that i have a skz side blog i’ll be posting here! considering reposting my jeongin and chan ones...

taglist. @outoftowns @jaeheekangslover @borahae-reads @loverlixie @janelliesworld @jeongchaos @roulette010 @stickycrusadecollective @queen-klarissa @adestayskz @thisrandombitch

if you want to be added, fill THIS form. 🗯️

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disastoruslifeofaad · 1 year ago

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THE BOYFRIEND PLAN

han jisung x fem!reader

fakedating!au, highschool!au, fluff + angst

wc: 13.5K

cw: explicit language, older brother!changbin, some of the older members are in the same class as the 00’ liners but ignore it for my sanity

SYNOPSIS: han jisung was your brothers best fiend, a lyrical genius, and amazing at coming up with ideas for new songs and music. however those skills didn’t transfer into real life situations, and maybe you should have thought about that before agreeing to his ridiculous plan.

“Bin you need to get up or we’re going to be late!” you called out, running towards your brother's bedroom. Pushing open the door, you were met with two groans instead of the usual one, scowling at the other boy who had managed to sneak into Changbin’s room ”Why is Jisung here?”

“Good morning to you too, sweetheart.”

You both cringed and cried at the sickening nickname, frustration burning your cheeks as your eyes moved to stare at your brother, pillows over his ears while the quilt covered way too little of his half-naked body. Sighing at his lack of reaction, you walked further in, slowly nudging him until the nudges turned into full-blown shoves. “I’m awake, can you fuck off? Just get Jisung to take you if you’re going to be late.” He told you, and it took a lot to suppress your pride and just leave him alone instead of starting a screaming match at eight in the morning. You were being cautious of the neighbours, you thought.

Suddenly, your glare changed direction, instead focused on the slightly scrawny senior laying lazy over your brother's sofa bed. “Get ready now, we’re leaving in fifteen, and that isn’t up for debate.” Without giving him time to think, you left the room, hearing the quietest ‘Yes ma'am’ from the bedroom while you made your way to brush your teeth.

Truth be told, Han Jisung was far from your favourite person. It was as if he was part of one of Changbin’s complex plans to get under your skin–becoming friends with him solely for the purpose of making you miserable. It started on the first day he had come over to your house, waiting seemingly sweetly outside of your door after he had knocked on. When you opened it, he produced a good first impression, standing shyly with his laptop in one arm and a bag swung over the other. It was when he started gawking at you that his impression had turned sour, quickly being saved by Bin, who had come to your rescue.

Since then, it had been like having another older brother. With him and Changbin constantly producing music together, you could’ve sworn he was at yours more than you were. Whenever your real brother couldn’t be bothered to do something himself, he asked Jisung to take matters into his own hands. And unfortunately enough for you, it just happened to be one of those days.

Surprisingly, he was at the front door with his blazer on neatly enough and a bag swung over his shoulder before you were, almost as if he’d been waiting. A brief moment of eye contact was enough for you to show your slight appreciation, grabbing a bottle of water before you unlocked the door, letting the two of you out.

Han Jisung would never admit it to anyone, but he quite liked it when his best friend couldn’t be bothered to look after his little sister properly. Like now, he used it as an excuse to slowly admire you as you paced ahead of him. You looked cute in your uniform, he thought, and he liked the way you’d tied your hair that day. Even the nagging just minutes after he’d woken up was okay, because well, you didn’t look nearly as intimidating as you thought you did when you were mad.

No–it was not a crush. The last thing he’d want to be was related in any way to Changbin, he knew way too much to want that to happen. However, it was more that you were appealing to him. Clever, pretty, charming. You had charisma and knew how to carry a conversation yet never once had you seemed overbearing. Whether he had wanted it to happen or not, Jisung’s eyes were drawn to you naturally, but he was sure he wasn’t the only one. Whenever you knocked on the door to his class to receive some books, he was sure Hwang Hyunjin and Lee Felix also trailed their gaze on you; he couldn’t blame them. Sure, it made him chew his lower lip in annoyance, but at the end of the day, he was equally as bad.

“Hey,” He called out, watching as your hair moved smoothly through the air as you turned. Now you had gotten closer to school, the gates already in view, “come get a drink with me at the vending machine.”

You scoffed, “Why would I do that?”

“Changbin asked me to take you. Funny of you to think I want to take you in the first place, do you maybe have something for me, Y/n?”

He smiled when you fake gagged, but as your eyes returned onto his face, you couldn’t help but notice the way his lips seemed to turn into a heart when he truly smiled. It was almost endearing, you thought. “Dream on, Jisung.”

Still, you followed him with no further protest, instead accepting your fate as you leaned against the wall the machine was up against, waiting patiently for your chocolate milk. He looked up from where he was crouched down, arm stretched out to pass you the drink and you almost let a smile slip out as you grabbed it, a small thanks leaving your lips instead. However, the small smile that was cleverly hidden by the downturn of his head only said one thing: Jisung noticed a lot more than you realised.

“Let’s go, Buttercup.” He said as he pushed himself up, his own drink in his hands as you raised an eyebrow. “What’s up with the weird nicknames, what if someone thinks that I’m dating my brother's best friend?” You shivered at the thought, but he simply shrugged at you.

“I’m guessing you’d have to pretend you hated it, maybe for Changbin’s sake. You’ve got to admit to your feelings one day, you know.”

You kicked the back of his legs as he walked away, making his body wobble in shock. “The only feelings I have are for that cute blond in your class, you should take tips, you know.”

Letting out a breathy chuckle, eyebrows furrowed at the light pain in his legs while he caught up with you, who had skipped ahead. “Felix? I don’t need tips from Felix, we have different styles, that’s all.” Jisung explained, getting the side eye while you reached the door of his class. You stood still, facing him while you looked into his eyes, waiting for him to say something before you left.

“You don't wanna go, Shortcake?”

“Shortcake?!”

The voice was a familiar one, a painfully familiar one which made your face suddenly feel extremely hot while the boy opposite you had to hold in a laugh, snorts barely contained by his closed mouth. Meanwhile, there was a considerably flustered boy standing to the side of you both, his large, dark eyes wide as they flickered between you. “You caught us, Lix. Let’s get to class, shall we? See you later, Sweetheart!” Han replied, backing off into class with his classmate, arm wrapped around his shoulder. You were left speechless, malfunctioning, and more than embarrassed outside the door.

—

The smile painted smugly on his lips was one he couldn’t quite hold back. Han Jisung had simultaneously managed to get Felix to believe he was dating you and get your attention all day. It’s not that he wanted to date you, but considering the guy you basically said was a better flirt than him now thought he had managed to date you was quite an ego boost.

However he had only realised this at lunch, when you had subtly pulled him to the side, in a small corridor between a classroom and a fire exit. “What were you thinking, Jisung? Do you know two people have asked me if we are together already? Changbin is going to kill us and we’re not even dating, and not to mention you had to say that in front of the guy I literally just told you was cute! Do you ever use that brain of yours, or is it saved for music and being a nuisance only?!”

Your chest heaved with anger however soon your breath had completely stopped, instead a singular finger against your lips as he stopped you from saying anymore. “You’re being loud and you’re going to get us both in trouble, okay?”

For some reason his words held more impact than they usually did, his big hands grabbing one of your wrists to calm you down while the other fell from your mouth, resting lazily in his pocket. He thought you looked gorgeous, flustered like this. You thought he was insane, but you had to try and ignore the way your stomach flipped softly at the close proximity.

“Don’t talk to me about getting in trouble, you just got us both fucked. Every time someone asked me I just panicked and froze before I could properly say no, so none of them believe me!”

You were insistent on saying no. It bothered him. Simply, the idea that you despised the thought of being with him was driving him slightly insane when he knew he had no right to feel that way. “I’ll make a plan, okay? Then you won’t have to worry about your Fairy Prince Felix and maybe I’ll try to get something good out of it too.”

With a slight roll of your eyes, you nodded, tugging your wrist out of his grip so his thumb would stop rubbing it so affectionately. He was driving you to insanity. “I’m going, Ji. Call me if you have some superhero master plan, but other than that, I'd really rather not have to talk to you right now.”

—

The sound of his bed frame creaked loudly as Jisung jumped back into it, his back sinking into the mattress while a deep breath left his lips. He never wanted you to get mad at him, all he wanted was a simple rise out of you, but God, he couldn’t figure out why he had wanted that in the first place.

Every time you came onto his mind he felt like pulling each singular strand of hair out just to get a coherent thought in his head. You had completely clouded any sense he had, and there was no explanation for it. Han was bright, he should’ve been able to figure out a reason, yet instead he was staring at your contact as if the answer was somewhere on the screen, written out in bold. His finger hesitated over the call button. Shutting his eyes momentarily, he quickly pressed down before he started to rethink his slightly insane plan.

“You better have something good for me, Han.” He heard you say, the corner of his lips lifting into one of his rather loveable smiles when he heard your voice.

“It’s not just good, Y/n, it’s a master plan. You are going to love me after this—seriously.”

So you sat there in your own house, door shut tightly ensuring you picked up his every last word, perched on the edge of your bed while your feet kicked up and down nervously. Words were coming out of his mouth, but it was as if you were hearing selectively, eyes widening at certain points. Then you heard it. “Fake dating? Jisung could you pick anything more extreme!? The fact people already think we’re dating is bad enough, why would it help if everyone thought we were?”

He clicked his tongue from the other end of the phone, shaking his head slightly and ignored the feeling of heat suddenly rising to his cheeks. ��You like Felix, right? He already thinks we have something going on, and based on his reaction, he could be jealous! Really, I should be the one with a problem, seeming as I don’t even benefit from this, but if anyone does it it makes sense that it’s me—especially now people already have their suspicions.”

There was no way you were settling it like this. “But that never turns out well! The person who we want to get jealous just ends up giving up and the other two get stuck in some awkward relationship where they don’t know what to do. And are you forgetting about Bin?” You disputed, his argument sounding far too unconvincing.

“Okay yeah, Bin’s an issue, but I saw Felix go up to you after our talk,” despite him obviously avoiding the question, mention of the talk still made you feel sick in an unusually welcoming way, as if you recalled a heart fluttering memory or something that sent butterflies straight to your stomach. Gross. “he seemed pretty eager to speak to you, and you both had flushed faces. I don’t know for sure, but it seems like he’s looking for a fighting chance to get you back, or just, win you over.”

You pondered on the thought. Jisung waited patiently, bringing an arm behind his head while he anticipated your next words.

But you needed time: to think, to reason, and to decide. The last thing you wanted to do was go through with it and have it be the worst time of your life. There needed to be something to put it into concrete, to solidify the plan he’d already created. “Meet me tomorrow, after school, we can go to that little café just off campus.”

He was going to be there, of course he was. After all, you seemed to have him unknowingly wrapped around your pinky finger.

—

A small bell ringing from on top of the café door, Jisungs eyes shot up within seconds while your figure walked closer. He had presumed the two of you were going to walk to the location together, however when he left his classroom you were nowhere to be seen; he’d checked everywhere. Instead of waiting and possibly angering you more, he walked there alone, trying to figure out exactly what was so important that you couldn’t have just texted him over the phone.

But then you walked in, a notebook tucked neatly between your arm and body, a polite smile on your face while you greeted the café owners, and he stopped caring about the utter inconvenience this had caused him.

After all, he was surely worse, right?

“You came.” You examined as you sat down, having spotted him almost immediately. He let out a light chuckle, shaking his head before resting it down on his hand. “Ouch, it almost hurts how low your expectations are for me.”

Secretly, you kicked his shin under the table, “This is your fault, Jisung. Don’t act as if you didn’t give yourself these expectations.” Receiving a plain eye roll in response, you took the silence as a sign to get the papers out properly, setting them out neatly on the table you’d settled on. Everything about you seemed organised, from the way your uniform fit you perfectly and made you look ready for business, to the way you enthusiastically set up the presentation for him. You were an awfully attention grabbing sight, and the chestnut haired man had blamed that for the reason his eyes were so diligently focused on your every move.

“Ready to listen?”

“Ready.”

Jisung had just told a lie–he was anything but ready to hear just the amount of information you had told him. It was all completely well thought out and detailed, precise planning right to the T. It was like you were presenting a powerpoint to a class, and your point had got across well. If you were going to fake date Han Jisung, you were doing it properly. “What do you think?”

He raised an eyebrow at you, leaning forward so his head rested in his hands while he tried to put all the information together. “We hang out privately twice a week, whenever I come over to see Changbin I also have to greet you, no kiss kisses but pecks are allowed in public, we have to walk to and from school together at least three times a week and we post each other on instagram?”

“You forgot about flirting in school whenever Felix is around, and if there’s someone you like we can do it around her as well.”

Despite your bright eyes looking almost happy to see him for once, he was utterly out of it. When did dating get so many rules? “Yeah yeah, I can do all that, but am I gonna get daily reminders? Like, I don’t think I’m going to suddenly know how to do all of this tomorrow morning.” He admitted, rubbing the back of his neck while he leaned back in his chair.

That was weird. The way that when his biceps flexed underneath the tight arms of his white shirt it made your insides twist, and when you watched his adam’s apple bob it made your face glow in embarrassment. Weird.

Swallowing down whatever feelings had manifested, you nodded, chewing the inside of your cheeks. “If I must, then sure.” you picked up the drink you’d ordered, sipping it while not breaking eye contact with the boy opposite. He smiled at your challenge, the smugness of his smirk melting away along with his gaze as if his whole tough-guy persona was wearing off. “You ready to be my fake girlfriend then, Y/n?”

You mocked him before replying, “I’m just doing this so no one else has to, don’t go falling in love with me or anything.”

“Ha, you can only dream. Also, I’m literally the one helping you, what the fuck?”

—

A knock on your front door had pulled you out of the small trance you found yourself in. It was still early in the morning, and no one was supposed to be here this early. Alas, you waddled to the door, body still asleep. “Hello- Jisung? What are you doing here so early?”

He rolled your eyes at your rather displeased stature, quickly changing up and sweeping in to kiss you on the cheek. Suddenly, his soft lips pressed against your skin, still soft from being freshly washed. It was the first time anyone had done that to you, and you felt a sudden temptation to punch him right in the gut for doing it so casually when no one was even there to see.

“What the fuck? No ones even here, what are you doing?!” You whisper yelled at him, eyebrows creased in the middle while you hit your hands against his painfully broad shoulders. But then his hands were on your own shoulders, twisting you around to see a horrified Changbin staring cluelessly at you with disgust written on his face.

Ah, you knew you’d end up regretting one of the rules. However, you didn’t expect regret to sink in this soon. “Rule number four: Changbin can’t know if we are trying to convince everyone. Don’t make me regret it, princess.” The boy behind you whispered into your ear, an innocent look painted on his face as he smiled up at your brother through gritted teeth.

“Y/n, Jisung, you have five seconds to explain yourselves before I am going to beat you up so bad you’ll be kissing each other at the hospital instead.”

“Hey! Who are you going to hang out with if the only two people willing to are in hospital-”

“Jisung. I’m going to rip your guts out.”

It was safe to say the walk to school that day was far more than interesting, Jisung’s hand resting on some part of your body at all times while you forced a smile on your face, having to pretend this was not the single most embarrassing event of your life. Never once had you walked into school with a new partner, and you’d certainly never had everyone's eyes on you for the wrong reasons. It made you glad you were never that popular, because the feeling of being looked upon as if you were raw meat in a lion’s cage was sickening.

“’Sung, I can’t do this, why is everyone staring?”

“Because they have nothing interesting to think about so they're focusing on everyone else instead. You’re doing great, and we’re almost at your class, okay? You’ll be fine.”

It had been the first time he had ever spoken words that gave you genuine comfort, but you accepted them with open arms. Feeling your heart grow warmer at the sweet words that met your ears, you smiled up at him, a genuine, appreciative smile and stopped walking once you reached your class.

“Thank you.” you said, simply because you knew there was nothing else to say.

“I’ll have to take this one seriously, I don’t think you’ve ever thanked me in my life-“

You brought your hand up to flick his forehead, satisfied at the little red mark it had left behind. “That’s because you’re never nice to me, but you were nice today. Maybe if you carry on like this our whole dating thing won’t be too bad.”

He glared at you, his big, round eyes sending you a mean look, “I’m the mean one? You’re the one who practically just gave me a concussion!” You snorted at his sudden outburst, a few giggles leaving your lips and you stood blissfully unaware of your surroundings. But then a thought popped into your mind. After all, he’d already greeted you with a kiss before, surely one in public when you noticed Felix walking straight in your direction wouldn’t be too weird?

Taking a deep breath in, you scrunched your eyes shut, reaching up and pressing a soft kiss onto Han’s lips.

His face exploded into a bright red colour, eyes widening with shock while he looked at you completely dazed. You kept the proximity, looking down nervously and you whispered to him, “Lix is coming, I think we did good.”

Ah. The bitter reminder of what this all really was. Fake. Fabricated. None of the little kisses he’d received were real, they were all part of the long and complicated plan he had come up with in the first place. Really, it shouldn’t have bothered him at all. If anything, he should be relieved you had feelings for someone else, however knowing that every time you showed him any sort of affection was just an act made a dull ache settle in his heart.

You finally lifted your eyes up, scanning the corridor and hastily ignoring the eyes on you, until you reached the Australian’s, whose were glued on you and Jisung. “Mission successful.” You chuckled out awkwardly, not knowing exactly what to say after what had happened. However, Jisung didn’t dwell on it for long, rustling your hair gently while squeezing your shoulder.

“I’m glad, see you later Buttercup, okay?”

He was a man of his word, sitting next to you as you ate lunch and even inviting some of his friends over too. Bang chan was in Han’s classes, and one of his and Bin’s best friends who made music with them, too. He was slightly older and much more mature, however as you watched them converse you noticed a sweet, child-like side that must have kept with him.

“You know, I never expected you guys to end up together. Just—the whole idea of you being a thing. I thought you hated each other, to be honest.” He explained, a small, almost wry laugh escaping his lips.

Your head turned to Jisung, who’s lips poked up ever so slightly at the corner as he poked his food, “We still do, things don’t change that fast.” You joked, and while Chan laughed appreciatively you felt a pinch to your thigh, a tiny squeal escaping your throat. “Hey, what was that for?”

“Thought you hated me.” He snarled, lips turned into a straight line while he ignored your protests and arguments, finishing the rest of his food. Chan however, looked between the two of you, analysing your behaviour like he was a detective. There was something strange about the two of you, he thought. You seemed to be natural together but there was an element of wrongness. The way you looked at each other when the other talked was almost precious, however as your gazes returned to the meal you were eating or your surroundings, the bright buzz in your eyes seemed to dissipate into nothing.

He wasn’t going to ask, but he wanted to. A secret inquiry, that was all it was.

Lunch passed quickly and soon enough the last few periods of the day passed by. Feeling the cool air on your skin while the sun set a gorgeous, magenta and amber hue behind the clouds. It was heavenly; a stark contrast between the sweaty bodies and crowded corridors of school.

Your brother walked behind you, Jisung next to him as they talked about games and a song they were thinking of writing. This was normal, this was the feeling you had craved all day since Han had kissed you gently this morning. The usualness of your everyday affairs was what you were used to, and wanting it back was normal. However, the way you almost reached out for Jisungs arm to hold onto was not, and the way you felt yourself missing his body protecting you from the roadside was also unusual.

It was strange the way people could get used to others so quickly.

Listening into the conversation that was going on behind you, a sudden gratefulness washed over you. Maybe it was a better thing that you had some peace and quiet, because boys were odd.

It didn’t take long before you had Jisung on one side of you and Changbin on the other, the three of you making small talk or walking in silence, enjoying the quiet view. “Someone told me something today, you know.” Changbin said, his voice breaking the peaceful quiet.

“Hm, what was it?”

“That someone has a little crush on you, Y/n. Someone other than Jisung.” The words left his lips so casually, however your facial expression basically screamed confusion. You turned your head between the two boys, Han looking at you with equal curiosity, Changbin not even sparing you a glance.

Despite the news not completely shocking him, a foreign feeling settled in his stomach. It wasn’t jealousy, after all, he could take an educated guess about who liked you, and that was part of the plan all along, but it made him uncomfortable. The idea of someone liking you when he had made it more than clear that from today, you were his. Well, technically, a silly agreement and a stupid plan made you both eachothers—but it didn’t stop him from being bothered. After all, going after someone who was taken seemed wrong in many ways.

“Poor guy, shame she’s got a boyfriend now.” He muttered, muscular arm finding its way around your back and pulling you close. You hadn’t expected him to act possessive in front of your brother, the sudden movement making your heart leap out of your chest. “Ji, stop it, Changbin is right there!”

The elder laughed, a genuine smile settling on his face as he watched the two of you bicker. “I don’t care, Y/n. As long as you let me have him for music and as a friend, and as long as he doesn’t break up with you and make you super depressed, I can’t really say no, can I?”

The rest of the walk was calm, the three of you happy as ever and calming down as the evening came. When you arrived home, Changbin and Jisung separated off into his bedroom while you stayed downstairs, school work splayed out on the dining table while you studied vigorously. Time flew by, taking breaks to eat and have an occasional conversation with whoever came in, but the mix of being bored to death by the work and the darkness outside soon had you sleeping, cheek pressed against the papers as you quietly dozed.

Steps loud and clumsy, Bin and Jisung came down from his room, the younger about to leave until he saw your sleeping figure. You looked adorable, he thought, your face squished and slightly warm, hair messy and lips pouted.

A smile naturally rose onto his face at the sight of you, but his heart hurt. He liked you, he knew he did even though he didn’t want to. And the word “like” barely described the complex and complicated feelings he had for you. Feelings he had denied for so long, the feelings he had acted on just so you could get with someone else—someone you truly liked—and he could forget about you.

As he walked over to you, slipping your body into his arms and carrying you into your bedroom, he gazed down at you with total bittersweetness in his eyes. Because Jisung didn’t want to fake date you, he never had. He wanted you to feel just like he did, but most of all he wanted you to be happy. If that had to be with someone else? So be it. Right now, he was the one carrying you to bed, and brushing your hair out of your face. No one else was tucking you under your covers and pushing your baby hairs out the way so they could place a kiss on your forehead.

He was the only one. Right now, he was the only one who could care for you like that. Soon, he hoped, you would think of him in the same way.

—

“So, it’s true? You’re really dating him?”

You had Ryujin, Hyunjin, Jeongin and Yeji staring at you with bright curious eyes, each one of them lighting up when you answered them with a nod. “See, I told you- Felix literally said he saw them kiss in the hall yesterday!”

Your own eyes suddenly shot wide open, a choke escaping your throat as you hit your hands on the table, looking at the boy the information came from, “Felix said what?!” Hyunjin suddenly looked very shy, almost like the same, shy little boy who had walked in on his first day. “You didn’t hear me say anything.”

“No, I did, and you’re going to tell me why on earth Felix told me that or you’re both going to be in for it.”

He inhaled deeply. “I walked into class and he was staring into space with his eyebrows creased in the middle, kinda like what you do when you’re angry.” He started, copying the face Felix was wearing when Hyunjin walked in, “Then I asked him, ‘Why are you staring off like that?’ and he said ‘Y/n and Jisung are really dating.’.” He exhaled at the end of his sentence, letting all his previous fear of you disappear.

Ryunjin snorted, taking one of Yeji’s chips and dipping it into her ketchup, “Strange. What other conclusion would you make if someone was kissing in the halls? That they’re best friends forever who love each other very much?” She paused momentarily, the girl to her left pinching her thigh in return for the chip, “Anyway, I’m happy for you and Jisung, Y/n. It’s about time you got with someone.”

Childishly, you stuck your tongue out at her before said loverboy came to the table, his hand snaking onto your back while smiling at the others. “What were you talking about?” Jisung asked, noticing the deep and analytical stares of his friends. You shook your head, glaring at the others before turning to him. And then the breath in your lungs was suddenly knocked out. Han was close to you, close as in his face and his lips were quite literally centimetres away from your own. You could feel his light breath tickle your skin and had a front row view of the way his cheeks immediately started to burn up.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself.”

An exaggerated sound of annoyance came from opposite you. “I feel like I’m going to be sick, they’re obviously still in the honeymoon phase. Look at him, he’s as red as a tomato!” Hyunjin giggled, in fits at the state Jisung was in, however when Jeongin kicked him from under the table, the four of them returned to their conversation, leaving you two in your own world.

“Your makeup looks nice today. You have sparkles in your eyes.” He complimented, never once breaking eye contact. It had been a while since you started the act, and you still weren’t used to the whole couple thing. It felt wrong: only a short while ago he had been your brother’s best friend who you only wanted to beat up, the only good thing he brought to the table was snacks and occasionally a good laugh. But now it was different. As if he’d gone from Han to Jisung. The same person, yet completely and utterly different.

“It’s called highlighter, you stupid fuck, and it’s on the corner of my eye, not in it.”

He sighed, however his grin never faded, “You still have sparkles in your eyes, is it ‘cause you’re falling for me?” His question was playful, possibly a complete joke, yet your mind took it as a serious matter.

Were you falling for him? No way, if you were, you’d suggest this whole thing to be called off so that you could date him for real. You were only doing this because he’d messed up and you liked Yongbok. No other reasons. “If I was in love with you, Ji, we wouldn’t be here in the first place, would we?” You let the words fall from your lips so confidently, however as they left you couldn’t help but notice the sour taste left on your tongue, and the sense of doubt that lingered in your gut afterwards.

However bad it felt for you to say, it was ten times worse for Jisung to hear. You had confirmed his biggest reality, the thing he always had on the back of his mind and let the words slip like they were nothing. But he knew he couldn’t let you know it hurt. Of course he couldn’t–you only knew him as fake boyfriend Jisung, and right now, you were his fake partner, too.

So simply he rubbed his hand along your lower thigh, painting a phoney annoyed expression on his face as he scanned all your features. He really did think you looked beautiful that day. “Meet me after school, you can wait outside the gates if you want. I think it’s time to take my fake-girlfriend on a date, and maybe you can finally announce me to your masses of instagram followers.”

Nodding, you nudged into his body while casually resting your head on his shoulder, averting from the intense eye contact, “You know I barely have a hundred…”

“And one of them seems to be your true sweetheart, so you better not stand me up tonight!” He giggled, but you picked up that his tone was anything but similar to his light laugh. Trying your best to both comfort whatever seemed to bother him, and make yourselves seem more coupley, you placed your smaller hand over his which rested on your thigh, playing slightly with his fingers. “Where are you taking me then, boyfriend?”

“Have you ever been ice skating?”

—

Surprisingly, you never had gone ice skating. It was surprising because you were a natural, circling loops around Jisung while he fell to the floor, flinching every time the cold ice met his bottom once again. The two of you had a subtle, romance filled glow on your faces that was simply angelic when mixed with the slight redness that the ice lifted to your faces. Your giggles were wild and free, hands pointing almost rudely at the senior on the floor, he pouted up at you like a child. People skated past and admired how natural you looked with each other, but it was something you couldn’t help. When you were in your element, and with each other, you fit together like jigsaw pieces.

“Will you stop standing there and help me? I look like an idiot right now!” He cried out, hands reaching out for you, who was doubled over in a deep fit of laughter.

“I- I thought you were supposed to be the good one? Didn’t you- didn’t you say you were the Ice King? Can’t the Ice King get up by himself?” You mocked, still skating towards him despite your teasing. He rolled his eyes, taking your hand in his when you were finally close enough. However, he could not be civil, not after you made an absolute fool of him. Instead, you ended up on the floor next to him thanks to the tug of his arms, which were painfully strong.

“Jisung, what the fuck? I was helping you!” Your shout was hysterical, tears welling in your eyes from laughter as you pressed your hands down to push yourself up. Then he started laughing too, his deeper and heartier than your own. His head turned to yours and his hair seemed to flow beautifully with the quick action, grabbing your attention and pulling you back to reality.

Then his own laughter settled, and you once again found yourself admiring the other. Not wanting it to last too long and make you overthink everything, you quickly broke his gaze, letting your head fall back with a breathy chuckle. However Jisung had not moved on. If anything, your shyness had pulled him in awfully deeper, his whole being focused on the way you seemed surreal as you caught your breath, face glowing more than usual as if he had managed to lift every weight off of your shoulders.

You had the same alluring properties as a siren, your whole existence at that very moment pulling him in for more. So he did. He moved his body closer to your own, placing one of his arms right next to your figure to support his weight and used the other to lift your chin up, so you were solely focused on him. “‘Sung, what are you doing?”

“I-I think I just saw Lix and Chan, hold on.”

And he kissed you. It was sweet, but it wasn’t short. If anything it was impactful, making your heart skip a beat as you found yourself moving up to meet his lips, even as he was pulling away. That was strange–you had kissed him back. You had chased him after the kiss ended. You looked at him with glossy, wondrous eyes afterwards, too. You hadn’t even pulled away as soon as he leaned in. You enjoyed the sensation of his lips moving along your own and both of you were aware of it.

His gaze quickly left your now wet lips, looking up to the two boys who wandered together outside the rink, a singular pair of eyes still on the two of you. A single pair of eyes which seemed to put up a small challenge when they met Jisung’s. “Oh, I see them.” You whispered, however your eyes loitered on them for just a moment before you immediately returned back to the boy, who was still towered over you. “Should we carry on skating, then?”

—

You were not able to sleep for a couple of nights after that, and you told yourself it could have been anything, but everyone knew that was a lie. Whenever you closed your eyes, it was like there was a ghost reenacting the way Jisung’s lips touched your own so affectionately and gently, yet still managed to send your mind reeling. When you saw and met up with him in school, your body language was shy and closed off, and you let him do all the talking. It was working, you thought no one had realised–not even Jisung himself.

However, you were also as dense as a brick, because if anyone had noticed just how strange you were acting, it was him.

He seemed to pace around a lot, while waiting for you outside school, when making music in Changbin’s bedroom, while in his own bedroom waiting for you to reply to him. He thought he had messed up somehow, and he wasn’t wrong. It was just not in the way he thought. He had sent your mind into an insane amount of chaos, by something you had consented to in the contract. You had said it was okay, and you sure felt okay when it was happening, so why did you feel sick when you thought about it? Or were you confusing the feeling of being sick with the feeling of falling for someone because you were almost certain you didn’t feel this way when you looked or talked with Felix.

Jisung couldn’t just let this happen forever. You had a goal to achieve and he ached for your affection in ways he didn’t quite know he could. It was bizarre, the feeling of missing something when it was never yours in the first place, but there was no other way of describing just what Han had felt. It was well over three weeks since you had announced him as your boyfriend, and he had practically exploded from the lack of interaction between the two of you. He was certain you had broken almost all of the rules you had made for yourself, it was almost ironic.

The way he finally found you was worse, though. He hated the way it had taken you to fall sick in school for you to be in the same room as each other for more than five minutes, and he hated the fact that Lee Fucking Felix had to be in there too, claiming he at least wanted to see you once you’d woken up. A thick tension settled between the boys, one that wasn’t previously there, one that normally disappeared because of your presence distracting them both. However with you sleeping, completely passed out and somewhat peaceful, Han Jisung had realised something. He didn’t want to date you anymore, at least, no longer like this.

“I saw you and her, you know, ice skating the other day. You were pretty terrible.” Felix laughed, as if he was trying to break the awkward silence that had made it almost unbearable to wait for you.

He hummed in response. “I think I remember seeing you and someone, shame I didn’t get to see your skills.” a tight and painfully fake smile drew his lips into a straight line. Instead of trying to go along with the small talk Yongbok was desperately trying to create, he tightly held his hands together and rested them on his legs, crossed at the ankles and stretched right out.

He stayed silently like that for the rest of the waiting time, until your body started to twist and you were pushing yourself up. Wasting no time, Jisung quickly jumped to your side, sitting himself on the edge of the mattress as he pulled you in close to him, hands moving to either side of his face so he could ask you everything he needed to. “Someone hasn’t been looking after themselves very much, have they?” He scolded, his tone firm despite his eyes betraying him, instead flashing the obvious relief he felt.

“Jeez, you’re acting like I died, just haven’t been sleeping well, s’all.” You yawned out, lips pouting up at him while your eyes started to well up. You didn’t know why–it was as though you’d lost control of your emotions because of a small accident, but /God/ did you feel relief having him next to you. It took him a split second to react, thumbs quickly wiping away tears that had fallen away.

“Hey, Sunflower, what’s up with you? Look at me, tell me what's wrong.” He’d told you, but you couldn’t bear to look at his face because of the wave of pure guilt that washed over you. It was so utterly stupid, everything from ignoring him and staying up all night and studying to distract yourself from the fact your mind was racing a thousand miles an hour. So you hid your head in his chest, ignoring his plea for you to look at him and instead let your tears fall silently, eventually relaxing into him while you calmed down.

“‘M sorry Ji, I shouldn’t have been childish for something I agreed to do—you know, the kiss. Just caught me off guard, you know? Freaked me out.”

He smiled down at you, but underneath the relieved expression laid one of hurt, because he didn’t know what you meant. He understood of course, why you had thought that from your point of view, but it was a simple thought for him. He liked you, he wanted to kiss you. He wasn’t even sure if like was the right word anymore because you had pulled him and practically spoon-fed him everything he could have asked for and more, but at the end of the day he knew his time under such comfort was limited. Nothing could last forever, especially not a complex thread of fabricated lies.

He sighed, bringing you back into his chest while his head rested on top of your own, suddenly realising Felix had already left.

“Let’s get you home then, will a piggy back ride do?”

That was how you ended up resting on Han Jisung’s back, head laying into the crook of his neck while a sky painted with stars covered the two of you. You felt like the main love interest of a romance anime, walking home with the person you were unsure if you had true feelings for. However, you were way too sleepy to be able to dwell on any sort of emotion that could’ve ended with heart ache, so instead you drew little images on his back.

The first one tickled his shoulder blade as you drew the image of what was playing out right then. A stick figure and their stick figure friend walking together, one on top of the other's body while they slowly walked through the quiet streets. Unknowingly, you drew a little heart next to the image, to make it look cuter, of course. That was the only reason why hearts were on your mind.

The second was of a cat you thought was awfully cute, despite it running away from you the moment Jisung took a step closer. And finally, the last one. An image of you, Changbin and Jisung all stood together, holding hands with each other while a smile lifted your faces. Stopping your small artistic burst was by no choice, but you had finally made it home, and you felt as though a magnetic force was pulling you towards your bed.

“Tomorrow, Y/n. I’ll come over and bring you some soup, so get lots of sleep and have a lie in, okay? I need to tell you something when I come over.” You hummed, hugging his back extra tight before you hopped off, walking into your house. “Thank you, ‘Sung. See you.”

You didn’t like saying goodbye, nor watching him walk away. It left your throat feeling tight and head achy, however today was incomparable. It was not like you were watching him go home, it was as though you were looking into the future and watching him leave. It took everything in you to go inside instead of chasing after him like a mad woman, but you had to rest, just like he had said, and he had to get home, too.

—

Surprisingly, the sun had just started to rise by the time you had woken up. There was a force pulling you out of your fairly light slumber, a thin sheen making your skin shine with the sunlight that seeped into your room. Taking the medicine that laid on your bedside table, you sat there clueless about what to do. Jisung had said something about coming over, you remembered that, but you didn’t know /when/. Were you just going to wait all day for him to pop round? There was nothing else you could do, every one of your limbs still feeling heavy and your body still lacking many hours of sleep you didn’t yet get to make up.

Restless, you reached out for your phone, searching hurriedly for the contact information and small text option, typing out your message.

[Y/N, 6:29AM] when r u coming over

[JI, 6:30AM] why r u up rn ??? go back to bed

[JI, 6:30AM] i’ll be there by one so u have plenty of time to go back to bed, k?

[Y/N, 6:31] i could say the same to u smh

Your eyes crinkled with warmth as you placed your phone back on the counter, hugging your pillow close to your chest, eyes closing as you desperately hoped to go back to sleep. Would it work? No, even you knew that, however you wanted to try. Maybe trying for Jisung wouldn’t be too bad.

And it wasn’t; by the time you had woken up, it was past midday, a tray of soup and extra side dishes waited patiently for you on your desk while a relaxed boy waited right next to it. “Good morning, Jisung.”

His eyes moved onto you, momentarily looking more animated, however just as fast as it came it was gone. He didn't say a word, but he stood up, bringing your body forward and fluffing up for pillows. Gently ensuring you were completely warmed by the quilt, he tucked it up to your lower waist and placed the tray full of comfort food on your lap. Stars in his eyes, he used his whole hand to move your messy hair out of your face, just like he had the night he brought you up to bed, and pinched the chub of your cheeks. “Eat up, I’ll be back when you’re finished.”

Jisung never did that. He never left when you ate or when you were alone with him. That had never happened, not even when you swore you hated his guts. But it felt like your body was trapped in sticky mud, a thick patch of quick sand that had kept you stuck in the position you were in. Unable to reach out for him, you watched him leave, his polite yet sickeningly fake smile flashing your eyes as he shut the door, leaving you wide mouthed and confused.

Yesterday felt horrible, leaving him yesterday was like reenacting a nightmare, but now you felt you were living it. No, it wasn’t scary, but it was uncomfortable. It was the type of uncomfortable nightmare that made you breathe heavily when you woke up because you were so relieved you no longer had to put up with the feeling of wanting to escape but not being able to. It was a bad dream, the type you’d have as a kid that would leave you shaken up, but in the morning you’d realise all was good, and it wasn’t real.

However as you sat in silence, eating by yourself, you blinked a few times, biting the inside of your mouth and pulling at your hair. This was no bad dream, nor a nightmare. You had to live through whatever was going to happen no matter how much you wanted to run away, because reality was not kind.

It never had been, and when you were living a life full of false realities it was bound to come crashing down.

“Jisung, I’m done!” You called out, hoping he was close enough to hear you. To no surprise, he came at your beck and call within just seconds, eyes instinctively checking the amount of food you’d ate while moving the tray to the side.

When he returned back, he had that sickly smile on his face, making him seem as if someone was forcing him to put on such an expression. “How do you feel?” He asked, not edging closer to you nor checking your body temperature. Missing was the feeling of his skin against yours, you turned your head while you tried to figure out what was on his mind, just what he was thinking.

“I’m good.” It was a statement, a simple one at that, and managed to tell him absolutely nothing. But then you continued, and he realised that was exactly what you had wanted to do. “I’d feel tons better if you stopped acting weird. Do you need to tell me something? Did something happen?”

Checking for a reaction, you caught the way his adam's apple bobbed as his head tilted back slightly, as though he was caught doing something he so desperately wanted no one to find out.

“I have to tell you something, yeah?”

You nodded, leaning forward in anticipation as your heart started to beat so fast you could feel the pulse in your fingertips. Knots twisted in your stomach and clouded any thoughts you had, apart from the fact you were solely focused on him. Your ears listened out carefully, however it was your eagerness that had betrayed you in the first place.

Jisung closed his eyes, “This thing needs to stop. The fake dating, you know? I think it’s time we call it quits.”

So you had been fake broken up with? That was supposed to be no big deal, that wasn’t supposed to make you feel as though your world was suddenly collapsing around you because your one pillar of support had finally gone.

“But why?” You asked, words breathy as if you were almost laughing, “We didn’t get our goals yet, like you-“

“I never had any goals, remember? I was doing this for you, Y/n. And I’m sure you could get with Felix without even trying. In fact, I know you could date anyone you wanted with no effort at all because that’s the type of person you are.”

You had completely forgotten about Felix. “But right now you are killing me. When you ignore me you are killing me and when you are not you are killing me because every piece of affection you give me is all a lie. So please, go and talk to Felix, or whoever else you like and tell them that you like them, because you never needed to make them jealous for them to like you in the first place.” He rambled, his words shooting you in the heart and shattering his own into pieces simultaneously.

“It was my idea and I take responsibility for that, but I can’t carry on like this and upset you or me anymore, okay?” As he reached forward to ruffle your hair, you caught sight of his glossy, swell eyes underneath his round glasses.

The pain you felt in your heart was no longer some metaphor for heartbreak because now it was some physical manifestation of whatever pain heartbreak felt like. It was like burning and anguish and guilt all piled up and glued together and it killed. “I’ll look out for you and him in the hallway. I hope I haven’t done all of this for nothing.”

“Wait, Jisung-“ You called out, silently praying he would listen to you for once instead of brushing you off again. But the one time he actually listened, you couldn’t get any words to leave your mouth. You were frozen, and he had no reason to wait. You gave him no reason to, of course he wouldn’t. His head swiftly turned around, making sure to shut the door on his way out so you didn’t have to see the way tears spilled down his face frantically, nor the way his chest heaved in pain.

—

The next few days were nothing else but miserable. He hadn’t walked with you to school, he didn’t eat with you or take you to your classes and he certainly didn’t dare look your way. Every time you talked to someone else he watched in envy, a never ending feeling of jealousy and greed exploding inside him.

So close—he was so close to having you but he knew you weren’t his to have. But everything he had done wasn’t just for you, he had to put himself first too, and if he could put himself into the situation, by the time his heart was moments away from grinding into a fine dust, he needed to be able to pull himself out.

People asked questions, they were nosy and interested in other people's business because their lives were obviously not entertaining enough. Of course not, if it were, they would’ve learnt by now that adding salt to a fresh wound would not help.

“Hey, Y/n.” You heard someone call out, catching your attention as you lifted your gaze from your food. There stood Felix and Seungmin, the boys smiling down brightly at you as you desperately tried to show one back. “We’re not taking anyone's seats, are we?” Seungmin asked politely, placing his tray of food down on the seat opposite your own. Felix took the one next to you.

“Don’t be ridiculous, does it look like anyone is eating with me?” you chuckled, however the sharpness to your tone along with the darkness under your eyes proved to make your joke the slightest bit less humorous. “Well, we are now.” The blond beside you grinned, nudging you softly as he exchanged looks with you. He seemed as though he was trying to ignite a spark in your eyes, but you were a pile of damp wood. What he needed was gasoline, and today, there was a severe lack.

Nevertheless, you were grateful that you didn’t have to eat alone. “I appreciate it.” you hummed back, nodding your head slightly before you returned to the dish in front of you.

While eating, thoughts racked through your head. It’s not like they were new ones, in fact, you’d been thinking them ever since hiding away from Jisung back when he’d kissed you at the ice skating rink. But you looked at Felix, and then you thought about Jisung. They were two completely different people, and comparison was never going to be the same, however it was still strange—the way the same thoughts you used to have for Felix seemed to disintegrate, and your feelings for Jisung were now present, and ten times stronger.

By the time lunch was over, Seungmin went his separate ways and Yongbok stayed by your side, his hands neatly held behind his back while he walked next to you.

“Are you okay, Y/n? You seemed out of it at lunch.” he asked, and you sent him a smile which was the most genuine one you’d shown in days. “Been better, but thank you for asking. I just have a lot on my mind, that’s all.”

He nodded, not pushing the subject any more while a somewhat comfortable silence settled over the two of you. However, it would have been better if you didn’t feel a pair of eyes glaring holes in your back. It was almost a sinister sense, and you didn’t dare turn around to see who it was, because you knew that if you turned to see Jisung looking at you like that, you would break right there. “Have a good class, Y/n. If you need anything just let me know.”

You stopped, turning and thanking him before you reached for the door to your class. It was the little spin that had made your eyes latch onto Jisung, and the acknowledgment of each other that sent both your minds into a frenzy.

—

Days carried on exactly like the last. In school, you felt like you were hiding away the whole time or putting on a little act so your friends weren’t concerned. The same group of people stayed by your side, constantly attending to you and trying to make you smile.

At home, you were doing anything to distract yourself. Work outs, school work, reading, writing, cooking. You looked crazy, it was obvious, but there was nothing else to do. If you simply sat there, letting your mind consume you whole, you knew the only thing you’d be thinking about was Jisung, and how much you missed him. It wasn’t normal—missing him had turned into a sudden desperation and craving that you were certain you couldn’t live without.

But neither could he.

Constantly seeing you by the side of the person he’d lost you to tugged on his heart strings every time. Whenever he noticed you, you had a smile lifting your lips up, but it never met your eyes. There was no crinkle in the corners and they didn’t seem to get smaller, opposed to the joy on your lips, which usually grew.

He was itching to text you, fingers reaching out to your name in his phone, stopping himself almost as quickly as he got there. He had let you go for the better of you both, that’s what he thought. There was no reason to cause either of you more pain, so he let you be.

But that didn’t cure his own yearning. There were loads of things he had seemed to do to try and forget about the incomparable need in his heart for you, and one of them happened to be a simple late night walk.

The stars covered the sky like a piece of living art, and the quiet sounds of the streets seemed to lure him into a state of simple peace. Noises of grasshoppers made him relax into the feeling of the evening, and little cats tip-toeing around brought a small grin to his face. Jisung had always been a fan of the night, it only helped that not many people were out for him to see, but that wasn’t always the case.

Seeing you and Felix sitting together on a pair of swings didn’t cause him to hate the night. It caused him to hate himself for not trying harder to keep you by his side.

Admiring the stars above, you tilted your head back, exposing your neck to the gentle breeze and letting a shiver run down your body. Felix’s eyes had not left your body for even a second, taking in your appearance as a whole, and then zooming in on each individual feature you had. Over month ago you would’ve felt like the luckiest person alive. It was crazy how one person could change your feelings so much in such a short span of time.

“You look extremely pretty like that, you know.” The blond muttered, his words quiet as he moved his head to stare straight forward, too shy to see your reaction. An airly, flutterly laugh left your lips, but you shook your head in defiance. “I’m glad you think so, but it’s a little hard to believe–I’ve been a mess this past week.”

You were only being honest. From the very start your eyebags had started to become more prominent, and expressions more dull. It’d happen to everyone, eventually, mourning the emotional loss of someone who was very much still there, someone who just no longer wanted to be a part of your life. “No one said messes had to look bad,” He shot back, pushing himself with his legs. “Do you want to talk about it? You know, like, everything that happened.”

His question was genuine and came from a good heart, but you weren’t entirely sure you wanted to. It was awkward to tell someone the whole story, and it seemed silly to only explain the bits that would make a slight bit of sense. But then again, you had /no one/ to talk to, and you weren’t about to deny the first offer you had. “Me and Jisung broke up. Or, well, broke off what we had. He said it was something about me being better with someone else that he thought I liked, and that staying with me and doing our thing while he knew I didn’t like him was hurting him.”

“Your thing?” Yongbok asked, rightfully confused by your choice of words.

Sighing, you continued, “Yeah, it’s confusing, and slightly embarrassing. Anyway, Han Jisung is a stupid fucking loser because he was too dumb to realise that I didn’t even like the other guy. Okay, at the start a little bit, but now there’s nothing there. I just, used that to keep Jisung close to me and now he’s fucked off and I don’ have him and I really, really miss him.” You ignored the way your voice cracked and instead smiled at the blond. Your teeth were showing and a strained, slightly crazy chuckle left your throat as you returned your head back to looking straight on, taking a deep breath.

Caringly, Felix moved his arm, rubbing his hand along your back as he thought of what to say. “You’re in love with Jisung. No one else has a chance with you, and I don’t understand a single thing about your situation but I know he loves you too. Obviously. Kind of sucks, though.”

“Hm?”

“Jisung isn’t the only one that likes you, you know.” He rolled his eyes, his free arm coming up to rub the nape of his neck while he secretly thanked the darkness of the night sky for hiding the blush tickling his cheeks. He was cute, and you looked at him fondly while sniffles and giggles filled out the remaining silence. “H-hey! It’s not funny!”

You shook your head, as if taking back the previous laughter that had teased him in the first place, however you couldn’t help but snicker quietly to yourself as diamond tears dropped down your warm cheeks. “Oh, Felix, you’re about a month and a half too late. But you’re cute, anyone else will want you.”

He scoffed, “Do you know how hypocritical you sound right now?” You snorted–you really were a pain in the ass.

—

As if a weight was lifted from your shoulders, you felt lighter the next week. You still avoided Jisung like the plague, however you were much less tense around your friends. Naturally drawn to him, you found your eyes meeting Han’s in a small moment of utter awkwardness, but you only took a second before you returned back to whatever you were doing. Changbin was concerned, but he had every reason to be. Just weeks ago you seemed fine, if not perfect together, and now he couldn’t even get Jisung to come into his house because the younger boy knew you were going to be there as well. Not to mention how you hadn’t even asked your brother about his friend, a habit you had kept since you noticed Jisung becoming a big part of Bin’s life.

While you were finishing some homework, Changbin suddenly burst into your bedroom, making you jump out of your skin, concern running through your veins as you noticed his annoyed expression. “Never heard of knocking?”

“Never heard of being truthful to your older brother who is literally best friends with the guy you ‘dated’?”

Oh. You gulped, gut sinking with guilt as a painful smile made its way onto your face. How did he find out? Jisung must have told him, there was no other explanation. “What exactly did Jisung tell you?” You asked, and as your elder brother walked up to your bed, sitting himself down as if he was going to be there for a while, you knew you were in for it.

However, Changbin was understanding, a trait you claimed to have taught him while growing up with each other. He went through each and every detail thoroughly, making sure to sneak a few baseless insults in along the way. “How did you guys even end up talking about this in the first place?” You asked once he was done, feeling like a puppy who had just gotten scolded for doing something you didn’t mean to do.

“It was like the third time he asked me to come to his place instead of coming to ours for music stuff, and we never do that because everything’s already here. I did it, obviously, but if it's an inconvenience for me it’s fair to ask for an explanation, right?” Humming in agreement, you looked up at him, lips pouting into a straight line while holding your knees to your chest.

You met his eyes, “So what do you want me to do now?”

“Stop being a fucking idiot.” You clicked your tongue, but he simply ignored your clear distaste for his word choice. “I mean it, speak to him. You’ve not moved on, and you don’t like Felix, do you?” he asked, and you shook your head, “Then what’s stopping you? I can’t have the two of you walking on glass around each other forever.”

Your heart grew at his words, a little lump forming in the back of your throat. Rubbing your hair affectionately, he stood up, ready to leave the room before he said, “Now do something before I start beating the sense into you.”

You scowled. “Child abuse is not condoned in this house, nor anywhere else, Changbin.”

Just Hours later, you were lying in bed, eyes on the ceiling as you thought of what to send to Jisung. You had already typed out different messages hundreds of times, each and every one meaning the exact same thing. The words that you wanted to say were not coming out, everything seemed to come across too strong or too sharp. How hard was it to tell someone you wanted them, that you needed to tell them things you couldn’t say over the phone and that you missed them more than you realised was physically possible?

Personally, you found it surprisingly difficult, however after what felt like hours of figuring out just what you wanted to say, you settled on something that was good enough.

[Y/N, 9:13PM] hey ji, i need to talk to u. when can we meet up?

[JI, 9:16PM] really? is it important?

[Y/N, 9:17PM] i wouldn’t of bothered if it wasn’t

[JI, 9:21PM] k, u can come to mine tomorrow my parents r out from 11-6

[Y/N loved a message from JI]

[Y/N, 9:22PM] okay, see you then. sleep well jisung.

—

Closing the door behind you, you stared down at yourself, assessing your outfit while you bit your lips. Unsurprisingly, you had tried to put in a little extra effort. No leggings or tracksuit bottoms, instead some jeans and your favourite top adorned your figure. It was a small change, but one that made your stomach flutter at the thought of him noticing. Your usual makeup covered your face and your hair was done just as it usually was; coming off as too strong was just as bad as seeming uninterested, you’d thought.

Mind foggy, you looked up at the clouds and the birds playing in the sky while you walked to his house. It was close enough that you didn’t need to drive, but the reason why you were going made you feel as though the journey was taking hours. For Jisung, however, it was the total opposite. Ever since he’d woken up, it felt like every minute was going faster and faster. Trying to shower, rid his room of dirty clothes and tidy the remaining mess, you had unwillingly put him on panic mode.

Spraying his room to get rid of the smell of ‘Man’ that you had said you despised in Changbin's room, he stared himself down in the mirror. You had told him you’d left your house, and he was well aware it wasn’t that far from his own at all. In fact, his heart was almost erratic, waiting for the ring of the door bell to finally bring him back down to earth. It was funny how as soon as it really did ring, the boy had jumped out of his skin, a gasp leaving his lips as he sped down to get the door.

He could see you through the glass. You could see him through the glass. It wasn’t clear–in fact, it was the blurriest image of each other you’d ever seen, but it made this all seem too real from both ends. You were going to talk to him. You were going to tell him how you felt, and now you had arrived, there was no backing out.

Breathing in, he unlocked the door, pushing it open. He exhaled; you stared up at him wide eyed. “Hi, Jisung.”

The atmosphere was uncomfortable, and it almost reminded him of the day you were in the nurse’s office and he had to put up with the awkward feeling of being with both you and Felix in the same room. However you didn’t know what to say, yet again. Frozen, rendered speechless. There were a million things you wanted to tell him, and he could tell from the way your eyes never left his figure, despite his own staring dead at the coffee table between the two of you. Like a little reminder going off in your head, you remembered Changbin’s words. Even he, dense as a brick, knew what you had to do. So you sucked it up, hands rubbing your thighs comfortingly while your eyes met with Jisung’s.

“Can I tell you something?”

You could see the way he bit the inside of his cheek, “You didn’t come here to tell me you’re dating someone, did you..?”

A noise of horror left your mouth as you raised your eyebrows at him. “If that’s what you really think of me, maybe I shouldn’t tell you what I was going to.” You laughed, sarcastic and dry. Yet the slight teasing worked, his expression curious and body facing your own while he waited for you to carry on speaking. “Do you mind if I come and sit next to you? It’s a little awkward being on separate sofas.”

“Stop stalling and come sit next to me then, you’ve really put me on the edge here, you know.” He whined, moving up so you had a cushion to yourself. It was nice to be next to him again.

“I need you to tell me something before I start, and if you can’t, that’s okay too.” You explained, leaving him confused, pulling him in deeper, “What is it? I’ll tell you anything.”

“I need you to tell me that you like me, that you still like me. I need to know if you can forgive me.” You spoke, the words so quiet they were almost a whisper. Heart in your throat, every time you looked at him you felt sick. It wasn’t that he looked as though he hated you, it was simply the fact that he was there. You had him there and he wasn’t going anywhere, and you were going to get answers to unasked questions.

“I- I like you, are you kidding? I’ve liked you since forever, why are you getting me to say it outloud?” He asked, the tips of his ears flushing a deep red. “And why do I need to forgive you? You never did anything, I came up with the whole plan, remember?”

You did remember, but you didn’t blame him for it, in fact, you were ever so slightly grateful to him. After all, were you ever going to realise your feelings if he hadn’t of came up with such an obnoxious idea. “I let you go on believing the only reason we carried on ‘dating’ was because I wanted to get with Felix. God, it took me to spill my feelings about you to him to even get here in the first place.” You hid your head in your hands, embarrassment washing over you.

“Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I never liked Felix. Maybe a little, for like a day, or two, but do you really think I would’ve dealt with you for that long just so I could date someone else? You’re crazy, ‘Sung.”

His hands searched for yours while his eyes flickered all over your body, “Stop it. Stop saying all this extra stuff. I don’t care about that, it made me miserable. I want to know what you came here to tell me before I really go crazy.”

So you did, “Han Jisung, I really like you. And I’m sorry, really sorry, for making you wait so long and putting you through so much pain.” You breathed out, ensuring his eyes stayed on yours throughout the whole confession. “I think I might like you in a way that is so much more than a like, but I have only just figured out how I feel and I don’t want to confuse myself anymore, so for today, we’ll leave it at that. There's a whole future ahead for me to tell you more, anyway.”

Finally, after what felt like years of waiting, you watched his lips curl up into a heart shaped smile. “I like you, an insane amount, in a way that is so much more than a like, but if you don’t want to go there now, we don’t have to.” he whispered, however his words were still loud and clear as his head tilted in, lips soon pressing on your own.

God, you had both missed the feeling of each other's lips, the kiss slow and passionate instead of the previous, rushed ones. It was completely new, however the taste of Jisung was exactly the same. Your hands moved from his own to his head, one cupping his round cheek while the other ran through his hair, forcing a low whine to escape his lips. You were driving him insane, making his stomach twist and his heart race. He could feel the way you were perfectly made for him, the way you made goosebumps spread along the surface of his skin and the hairs on the back of his head stand tall.

Smoothly, he slid one of his hands on your leg, rubbing it softly as if to show you just how much he had missed you, just how much he was craving the feeling of having you next to him again. You pulled away as a whimper left your now swollen lips, dipping your head back in for a peck almost immediately. When you actually pulled away this time, you got the chance to admire just how beautiful he was. Of course, he was doing the exact same thing to you, making up for the lost time where he couldn’t stare you down like you were a work of art.

The two of you shared one thing, other than red faces, and there were no other words for it other than a lovestruck glow. It was evident from the beams that decorated your faces, and the shine that radiated off of you.

Simply, you were two kids in love, and there was nothing more you could ever ask for than to stay like this, in this moment.

—

The front door to your house opened loudly, two pairs of footsteps making their way towards you and Jisung, who were cuddled together on the sofa, watching ‘La La Land’ with a bowl of popcorn between the two of you. Ignoring their stares, you reached for more of the savory snack before your brother helpfully cleared his throat, breaking your concentration. “What?”

He scoffed, waving his hands between you and your boyfriend. “I get you’re good now and all, but do you have to do this here? Where I have to see you like this?” The sound of laughter became louder as Chan walked into the living room, his hand resting on Changbin’s shoulder. “If I remember rightly, you said something a little while ago about not minding as long as your little sibling was happy.” You cooed at him, making his eyes roll.

“Yeah, well I take it back. Either be miserable or go upstairs, please.”

“You would rather us be alone? Upstairs in my bedroom? Rather than in the living room which is a public family area? You really are strange, Changbin.”

Then the horrified stare of Jisung from above processed in your head, head tilting up to see just how embarrassed your words had made him. He seemed similar to an angry bird. “Why on earth would you say that?” He whisper yelled, sending Chan into fits of laughter while Changbin covered his mouth with his hand, concealing his own chuckles. Turning around to go into his bedroom, Bin yelled something from the stairs. “Hey, you should be grateful to me, you know. I’m the only reason you spoke to him again in the first place, might as well do everything I ask from now on.”

Now you were the flustered one, sitting up abruptly with your hand on Jisung’s chest.

“What’s this, Y/n? I think we’re going to have to pause the movie, because there is a lot you haven’t told me,” He brought your hot face to his, the tips of your noses barely touching each others, “isn’t there sweetheart?”

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disastoruslifeofaad · 1 year ago

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˖˚⊹ INSTA STORIES WITH JEONGIN.

NOTES ⋮ dating yang jeongin is fun, you get… yang jeongin! ( read : someone you can show off on social media )

✶ pairing › yang jeongin x gn!reader. genre › social media. warnings › none.

FLORI ﾉ first stray kids post! i’ve been on reminiscing road .. i used to love these guys, and i love them again. ( i think the warmth has never left, really ).

taglist. キ open for stray kids works exclusively!

lots of love.

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disastoruslifeofaad · 1 year ago

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Stray Kids | S/O is sore the morning after their first time (gender neutral)

reaction | hyung line

genre ➸ romance

disclaimer ➸ This is a work of fiction. I don’t own any famous character(s) - like idols - and my writings are in no way meant to show these people’s real nature and/or offend them in any way.

Request: Skz Hyung line reaction when their s/o is sore the morning after their first time? (Suggestive smut) (gender neutral) 🙏🏻✨

chan.

When you wake up, you realize that something is wrong. Every movement hurt and your first urge was to get up, but you realize as you sit down that it didn’t get any better. But because of your restless movements, Chan woke up. He slept on his stomach with his head turned to your side. When he opens his eyes, he smiles gently at you. “Good Morning.” His voice was clear, but still calm. “Hey,” you say, but you sounded a little pained with pain. It was immediately apparent to Chan that something was wrong and he immediately sat up. “Is everything okay? Do you regret it?” You had your first time last night and Chan was afraid he’d forced you to do something you didn’t want. He wanted you, but he didn’t want to overstep your limits. Did he push you to do something you didn’t want? You immediately recognized his concern and you shake your head. “No, I have no regrets,” you say softly and give him a gentle kiss. “But is there something?” You can’t lie to him. “Well …” You start, but you were shy. You didn’t want to burden him with your problems and in the worst case scenario he would feel bad too. “Come on tell me. You don’t have to be uncomfortable.” Clearly, Chan couldn’t be fooled. “Well it feels sore here … so down here.” You point down at yourself and press your lips together. “Oh …”, Chan said and his eyes suddenly widened. And for a moment it became quiet between you. It was a little uncomfortable, but then Chan got up and got dressed. “Okay okay. You stay here and don’t move. I’ll go quickly and buy us breakfast.” He packed panicked his things and looked for his wallet. “It’s really okay, don’t stress yourself.” You try to calm him down, but he wasn’t dissuaded. “No, I’ll do everything for you today. I’m so sorry.” Chan then kissed you and ran off.

minho.

“Ouch, ouch, ouch …” You stumble back from the toilet and go back to bed. Minho was watching you with a big but evil grin. “Don’t laugh like that, it’s all your fault.” You lie down next to him with a sigh and still feel the burning in your lower area. “But it was worth it, wasn’t it?” He keeps grinning at you and you roll your eyes. “Let’s see how long I’ll be sore.“ You sigh and snuggle up in the covers again. "Sorry, I can’t help it that he’s so big.” He winked and turned over to you. You roll your eyes, but you know that Minho wanted that confirmed. “Hmm right, I should find someone with a smaller dick.” Now it was you who grinned and Minho looked at you with raised eyebrows. But then he smiled too and kisses the tip of your nose. “You will get used to him and then you will not want anything else,” he whispered in your ear and you immediately get goosebumps. You look into his dark eyes and you miss the words. “But before that I can still be very gentle with you.” His head bowed and his lips touched your neck, then your collarbone. His hands wandered over your body and you can feel your breath getting louder and louder. And Minho was just gentle … very gentle.

changbin.

“That was nice,” whispered Changbin and starts playing with your fingers. He kissed every single one of your fingertips and he smiled gently. You smile too but couldn’t answer anything.Your naked bodies were lying against each other and you liked that afterglow, but the sex had left you with after-effects on your body too. “Are you okay?” He asked and immediately noticed that something was wrong. You nod with pressed lips, but in reality you couldn’t fool him. “What’s going on?” He asked further and his look was suddenly so full of worry. Changbin could seem so tough and hard at times, but he was so soft with you here. “I’m just a little bit sore down there. It’s not that bad.” You smile and want to convince him that everything is fine. But Changbin immediately feels bad. “What? Did I hurt you?” He leaned over you and examined your whole body. “No, everything is really okay.” You run his hair and look him in the eye. And the next moment he became calm too. His hustle and bustle disappeared and his pulse calmed down. “Really?” His dark pupils found themselves in your eyes and he looked like a small dog to you at the moment. “Yeah really. It’s just so new to me. I have to get used to you.” You wink and laughingly give him a kiss. “I’ll be more careful next time,” he promised you and snuggled up to you again.

hyunjin.

Hyunjin still had a smile on his face even when he was asleep. He thought the night with you was just incredible. He was so happy and so full of love. And you had to smile too when you saw him like that. Of course you were happy and enjoyed the night with him, but you feel a little bit sore afterwards. And now in the morning it didn’t get any better. When Hyunjin woke up, he smiled and the images from last night immediately came back to his head. “Good morning,” he breathed and kissed you gently. “Hey, good morning,” you say and stroke his hair. But his gaze changed, his eyes wandered to your lips and his body was suddenly above you. “What are you going to do?” You ask him with wide eyes and smile. “Same as last night,” he whispered with a deep sigh and put his full lips on your neck. But it was clear to you that you could not make another round. Everything was still so sore. “Hyunjin …” you say softly and put your hands on him. “Mhmm … say my name again.” He continued kissing your neck down to the base of your breasts. “Hyunjin … it wouldn’t be a good idea …” You push him away from you a bit and his look suddenly turned very sad. “Didn’t you like it?” He asked, puzzled. “Yes … but … I’m not used to it and … well … it hurts … here.” You point to yourself and hope that he is not too disappointed. “Was I too rough?” He asked suddenly worried and his eyes went heavy. “No, not at all. It’s just new …” you say and kiss him gently. “Okay, then…cuddle?” He asked, his expression becoming so soft that you couldn’t resist him. “Yes, I would love to.”

masterlist.

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disastoruslifeofaad · 2 years ago

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ARE WE TOO YOUNG FOR THIS?

PAIRING bang chan x female!reader.

CONTENT smut, fluff, established relationship, reader is slightly younger than chan, soft dom!chan, virgin!reader, fingering (f), cockwarming, unprotected sex.

WORDCOUNT 5,0k.

DETAILS in a night movie session, chan gives way to the first intimate night as a couple despite the fears and insecurities of each other.

NOTE it's been so long, i hope this is a good way to get back on tumblr. enjoy this fic as much as i do, i'm excited to start over. tell me what you think about this when you finish it!

DISCLAIMER ( ! ) this is not intended to promote unprotected sexual practices or the security of not getting pregnant/not contracting STD. please don't take this as your comprehensive sex education. all facts and events are fictitious. the written scenes do not represent any real person nor do they plan to steal/falsify their identity. any coincidence with names and places is pure artistic creation by and for entertainment.

"i want to touch you, (name)", was the sentence that started it all, and that interrupted your concentration on the film in front of you.

your eyes strayed from the screen as soon as chan whispered in your ear, understanding why his hands had been so restless for the last few minutes. you thought he was just being more touchy than usual because of the cold, but you understood that his fingers were moving with other intentions. you turn your neck to look at him behind you, confused. the brightness of the tv hits chan's face just enough to notice that there was no hint of playing on his features, and that he was expressing himself honestly. you felt your gut clench.

"touch me?" you asked in a whisper just as soft, but terribly more innocent than him.

he nodded, confirming that you heard correctly. his eyes dropped to your lips and have stayed there ever since. you got stuck in your thoughts, but not because you didn't understand what he meant. you didn't have to be the dirtiest person to catch the hint and realize that your boyfriend didn't mean to literally laying his hand on you. hearing that he has been thinking about you in a sexual way as you suspected scared you a bit, however, it's been days since you knew that the time for something to happen between the two of you was near. the tension and physical approach that you have been having on every little occasion has made it very clear what it was that the bodies of both were claiming for.

you've never been as vocal as chan just did, but you're pretty sure he knows how much you want him. you know that he realizes the way you look at him, the way your eyes rest on his torso when he's shirtless, the way your fingers slide down his arms when he hugs you around the waist, the such a unique way you look at his lips after kissing them, how silly you look when he has you pinned against something and steals your breath away. you know that chan knows.

he also knows that he is your first boyfriend and that it's not so easy for you to take the first step, nor take the opportunity when the moment leads to intimacy. you feel like a dumb inexperienced kid whenever you're in the act, and the fact that your first boyfriend is a few years older than you doesn't help at all. you get it, there's not an abysmal age gap between you and chan, but still you feel that in that time he experienced everything that you didn't! well, little do you know, chan is also terrified. having had sexual experiences with other girls doesn't give him credit in the romantic part, and that is what puts him in your same position without you knowing it. he's aware that at any moment he will sleep with the first girl he genuinely loves, and at the same time, he will be her first time. how can you expect him not to feel totally inexperienced?

your eyes now do the same as his, lowering to his lips. those plump, tempting lips of his that have made you feel so loved, and so desired. you want to crash yours into them and let everything get out of control, but you can't. you are not so brave.

"you can say no" chan's voice snaps you out of your trance.

you raise your gaze to meet his again, realizing you haven't given him a firm answer. how are you supposed to take that kind of proposal? chan's hand slides down from your hip to your thigh, maintaining eye contact. he sees the difficulty you are having in formulating an answer, so he insists to know what he should do.

"is it still too early to want to do it?" he asks, stroking your leg with his thumb.

you shake your head this time, knowing the answer is no. no, it's not too early in the relationship anymore to want to be intimate. it's something that both want, and that both deserve at this point after having refrained for so long.

"i want you to" you whisper. "i just don't know what i want you to do."

he smiles faintily, as if he's fond of your uncertainty. his thumb keeps moving, making sure you know there's no rush. "that's fine," he nods softly. "you have to learn about what you like."

his words make you shy, the thought of finding your sexual preferences is something that you still saw very far away. chan can tell even in the dark that your gaze turns fearful, and he reaches his other hand into your hair to move it behind your ear. you turn your back slightly so you are facing his direction, resting your hands on his leg.

"i really don't know anything about it" you confess your concern, almost using it as a warning. your voice becomes smaller, nearly a babble. "i practically don't know how my body reacts to other people."

chan understands, and feels really grateful that you can share it with him even though you look embarrassed. he takes his hand to your chin, pulling your face those inches your lips lack to reach his. he presses a small kiss, trying to lessen your worry. he lets you open your eyes and see his staring at you in absolute adoration. "do you want me to help you learn?" he asks, and it somehow makes your chest tighten.

not to lower the bar to the minimum, but the fact that he asks you about every little thing makes him more attractive. knowing that he cares about getting your consent at every step makes you want to continue more than if he just did what he wanted and waited for you to put a brake on him. damn it, of course you want it to be him! you drag your lower lip, biting it, and nodding your head. "i do."

chan smiles, mimicking your nodding. he's satisfied with just moving forward, no matter how far he gets tonight. he rests his hand right where it was, sliding it up your leg. you relax into his hold, pressing your back to his chest again. you feel the thrill climb up your stomach from the moment he trails his hand inside your inner thigh until you feel his lips press down your ear. you have no idea what he's going to do, but you're willing to find out as soon as possible.

"we can go slowly" he reminds you, squeezing your thigh into his large hand. "do you want me to go slowly?"

you nod, emitting a small affirmative buzz. "please" you beg, and he answers it with another kiss on your neck.

his lips crawl over your skin little by little, forcing you to tilt your head to the side as you feel that familiar tickle. there are a lot of little things you've agreed to before any sexual act, and one of them is the feel of chan's warm, wet mouth on your neck. the combination of his lips sucking, his teeth nibbling, and his tongue smoothing it all out will never fail to make you see fireworks. a small whine escapes your mouth as chan sucks on that weak spot near your collarbone, and you can feel the corners of his lips turn up in a smile.

"you do like that, don't you?" he asks provocatively, referring to what you said a few moments ago. "i think you know that very well."

chan abuses that spot, making your hand fly directly on top of his. of course you like it, you wouldn't have walked around with huge hickeys in your neck if it wasn't so. you breath out, heavily, feeling your panties stick to your heat.

his free hand crawls up your abdomen, embracing you tightly around the waist. there's a subtle size difference between your figure and his, but the fact that he can hold you whole with just his arm makes you feel tiny. your eyes drop to said arm, and the image of his bracelet gleaming above his popping veins leaves plenty of room for imagination. chan's blood is hot, you can tell.

you lean your head back, letting it fall on his shoulder. he kisses your own shoulder, smiling in your ear as he realizes what's happening. he slips his hand under the oversized shirt you're wearing that falls just above your thighs, feeling how your skin is just as warm as his. his fingers crawl to your chest, luckily for him, which is covered with just a sport bra. you weren't thinking about doing this, so it's not like you could have picked a sexy one. he brings his hand to one of your breasts, gently kneading the flesh over the fabric. your nipples harden quickly, and he focuses the movement of his fingers around them. you whine again, unable to hide that it actually feels good. you tend to have your hand on your chest like any girl, but this feels better.

chan studies your reaction and the way your body squirms, using the subtle arch of your back to slide his hand around your waist to your lower abdomen. it's the first time someone else has had their hand so close to your pants, and it makes you so nervous but it doesn't take away the will to know what's next. chan plays with the band of your pants, testing where he should continue. "is this okay, baby?"

you swallow, realizing that the real action begins with your response. yes, it's perfect. you do want him to put his hand in your shorts. you nod your head, sputtering a little "it's okay."

chan chooses to trust that at the first sign of discomfort you'll stop him, and he slowly slips his hand into your shorts. he takes his time, slipping two of his fingers into your slit. he can easily tell that you're not exactly wet, so it doesn't take long for him to gently part your folds and focus his touch on your clit. that definitely makes a difference that your body won't forgive you for, making you buck your hips into his hand.

you gasp, feeling flushed. chan's fingers move slowly but they do it in the right direction and place. you close your eyes, concentrating on the sensation and how the pleasure grows little by little. he realizes that he is doing well, taking a solid rhythm with his circular movements. you open your legs wider, giving him all the space he needs. chan notices that you're having a hard time sitting still, and he knows that it's actually a good sign.

"does it feel good when i touch you with my hands?" he asks. you nod, biting your lip to suppress the sounds that threaten to escape past your mouth. chan is paying attention to your every move, and he doesn't let it go unnoticed. "i want to hear you. don't keep those beautiful moans from me."

you're so used to find it embarrassing, but you try to allow yourself to be vocal. you have to admit that the mere fact that it's him who has his hands on you erupts many more sensations than those few times that it was your own fingers that were there. chan seems to hear your thoughts, and he questions it.

"have you tried doing it yourself before?" he wonders, leaning to your ear. his deep, lustful voice gives you goosebumps, and so does his nibbling on your earlobe. "tell me, have you ever thought of me doing this?"

your response is chocked out in a moan as he slides his fingers down to your entrance, pressing into your hole with his fingertips. chan knows what he's doing, and he knows that his voice is the reason he finally feels your arousal. you contract your empty walls, seeming to draw his fingers inside you. "y—yes i have" you admit, finally forming a coherent sentence.

he gets extremely hard at the thought of you touching yourself as you think of him, as you fantasize about everything he can and definitely will do to you. you can't pay much attention to his throbbing cock underneath you, your head gets caught in how close his fingers are to entering you. but chan is not stupid, he knows that your natural lubrication won't be enough, and that's why he suddenly retracts his hand.

you open your eyes, confused and almost desperate at feeling that everything vanished. chan doesn't take more than a second to tug at the fabric of your shorts, discarding them right after. his hand moves up to your jaw, taking a hold of it to press two of his fingers to your bottom lip. you raise your head, looking at him innocently.

"it's okay sweetheart, just lick them" he indicates, and you part your lips to do just as he ordered.

you let his fingers slide inside your mouth, unsure, but trusting that is fine as he said. chan admires the way you take his digits like a lollipop, letting his imagination run wild. he bites his own lip, being the one to suppress any sound that might give away that he's thinking about your mouth around him. unlike what he expected, you wrap your hand around his wrist, taking his fingers now coated in your saliva out of your mouth. you're determined to do this, so you bring his hand back to your core on your own. chan smirks as you guide his fingers to your entrance. he brings his free hand back around your waist, holding you in place.

"you are extremely hot, you know that?" he asks, circling your hole with his middle finger. "letting me play with you like this," he growls, pressing his nose against your temple as he slowly buries his fingers into you. "you're such a good girl for me."

you feel the warmth of the little stretch, and you realize that his hand is already working inside you. his fingers slide deeper and deeper, and you wonder how far they can go. "chan—" you babble, throwing your head back.

"i know, baby, i know," he retracts his fingers, pushing them back into you in a slow and fluid way. he is so gentle, so careful with the brush of his digits inside you. you breathe heavily, uncontrollably contracting your walls. there is something intrusive and new, and you don't know how to receive it. "just relax, (name)" he suggests, feeling how tight you got. "i promise it'll feel good."

you try to focus on the muscles and somehow manage to tell your body to stop forcing them to reject chan's hand. he feels the difference and moves them smoothly, effectively, giving you a more pleasurable sensation as he picks up the pace. his fingers curve at just the right point, eliciting audible moans from you that chan enjoys more than he cares to admit. there is something so sensual, something that electrifies his nerves when he hears you react to his stimulation. he wants to make you feel good, and when he achieves it, it makes his cock twitch in his pants. lord, he wants to give you everything and have everything from you as well.

"t—there" you mutter as you feel chan reaches a spot that sends ripples to your lower stomach.

his muscle memory makes him curl his fingers back right where he just did, ripping another choked whine from you. "does it feel good in there baby?" he asks, picking up his pace now that he's gotten you to relax enough not to be so delicate.

you nod frantically, feeling the wave grow bigger and bigger. "feels a—amazing—fuck!"

you lower your head reflexively, taking in the sinful image of chan's long fingers slipping in and out of you. it makes you clench around them again, intensifying the heat building in your core. "fuck, don't stop" you groan.

your cursing in a raspy voice makes him lose his mind. he goes a little faster, and your thighs tense a little more. your hand grabs his arm around you, feeling like you need to squeeze onto something. chan appreciates you digging your nails into his skin as his head can focus on that instead of the overwhelming pressure your hips apply to his length. he growls behind you, bringing his hand to your neck so he can hold your chin. he lifts your head for you to look at him, making eye contact with you.

you feel so vulnerable but so safe at the same time. you are no longer embarrassed, you are totally in need of that release in charge of his hands. chan smiles, mischievously, loving the way your eyes can't stay fully open at the feel of your high being so close. he pumps his fingers determinedly, holding your jaw so you don't take your eyes off him for a second. "talk to me, tell me what you feel."

you don't know how, but you find the right words between the fight of your tongue and your brain. "i feel close" you squeeze his arm. "so close."

your heart races too fast, your juices start to leak from your hole. chan lowers his gaze to your lips, pressing a short kiss to them to encourage you. "let it go then, don't fight against it," he whispers, pressing his thumb to your clit to help you find the peak of your orgasm. you buck your hips, all your senses heightened to the max.

you arch your back, feeling his hand become too much as you go through the hot blast in your core. he slows his pace with your squirming, helping ride out your high as your walls spasm uncontrollably around his fingers. the only thing that comes out of your mouth are incoherent whines, and he loves them. chan releases your grip on your jaw, letting you throw your head over his shoulder. the strength of your hand on his arm fades, and he accompanies the regulation of your breathing with his lips on your exposed neck. "oh god" he drawls his words, directing his kisses to your ear. "that was so sexy, (name)".

both of chan's hands now go up your frame, embracing you to feel as close to him as possible. you turn your head in his direction, opening your eyes. you feel intoxicated in him, but you want even more. you bring your hand to his face, pulling him to you so you can take his lips in a kiss. chan reciprocates instantly, immersing in the taste of your tongue. you kiss him with enough euphoria for him to interpret it as your way of thanking him for taking care of you.

he has a hunch that this could work out very well, and he doesn't waste a second in following you with the flow. you get up from the position you are in, turning your body so you can face him. chan takes a hold of your thigh and makes you straddle him, eliciting a small squeal from you as your sensitive core brushes against his crotch. he could have smiled, but instead, he keeps a straight face as he places both of his hands on your hips. it only takes him one drag to get a moan out of your mouth. he nibbles lightly on your lower lip as you break the kiss, forcing you to press your forehead against his. you have never, ever rode something or used your imagination so creatively to satisfy yourself that way. the feel of the denim rubbing directly against your abused clit is making you see stars, and thinking that it can be even better by having chan inside you creates a waterfall between your legs. fuck, he just made you deliciously cum seconds ago and you're already desperate for more.

you quickly analyze the situation and think, what better time than now to try having sex? you are with the person you trust the most, who is giving you your time for everything, and you are ridiculously lubricated. all those factors must influence on the pain and awkwardness, right?

you look up without moving your forehead from chan's, staring deep into his eyes. he mimics your actions, waiting for you to vocalize what is going through your head. you arm yourself with courage, and sigh. "should we go further?"

there is absolutely nothing that chan wants more right now. his whole body tingles with emotion at the thought that he has made you feel good and that he encouraged you to want to have sex with him. he's dying to know what that tightness, that clenching and warmth of your walls feels like around him, but he also needs to make sure that you have no doubts.

he licks his lips, caressing your sides. "that's up to you, (name)," he reminds you. "just tell me what you want to do."

"i want to feel you" you confess, bluntly. "i want to know how it feels to have you inside me, chan."

your words have him throbbing so hard he doesn't even know how he's keeping control. he gasps, dejected, hitting your lips with his hot breath. he nods, understanding. "do you want to try it yourself?" he suggests, taking advantage of the position you're in. "i think it will be more comfortable for you to know how fast you want to go."

you find his suggestion quite consistent, and you too nod in agreement. you can't hide how nervous your feel, your face reveals that you are totally ignorant about it. chan presses a kiss to your lips before taking one of your hands, guiding it down to his lower abdomen. your fingers snag on the waistband of his pants, and he pulls your wrist down a bit so you can cup his hardened length.

you feel the heat rise to your cheeks furiously, complementing the color of your swollen lips. you feel how turned on he is, but you also feel that his size is considerably bigger than you thought. he reaches his other hand toward the button, nimbly prying it free with just two of his fingers.

"you can touch me too," he assures, trying to encourage you to do whatever you want to balance the whole situation. you feel a shiver run up your spine at his words, cooperating with the opening of his pants. you gently tug on the band of his boxers, freeing his cock from the suffocation it suffered all this time. just looking at it makes you wonder how you're going to put it all inside you, and chan notices the concern on your features. "you think it's too much?"

you look up into his eyes, not knowing what to say. "i don't know" you're honest. "i don't know how much i'm capable of taking."

chan smiles, staying calm so you don't freak out. he doesn't judge your concern, he will never know what it feels like to test how much you can take. he brings your hand to his cock, allowing you to touch it. it actually surprises you that it has so many veins, and that you consider it pretty. he moves his hand on top of yours, guiding it so that you can gently pump him and know by touch what you are about to put inside you. "take it easy, okay?"

you nod, feeling like you're only getting wetter with each passing second. you move your hand on your own, drawing a small hiss from chan's mouth. the action is minimal but it still gives him pleasure, he's as sensitive as you are. you realize that you can make him feel good this way, and you think maybe you shouldn't go straight to the penetration. you look at him with curious eyes, intrigued, wondering what you should do. "do you want me to continue?" you ask, sensing that your boyfriend is only focusing on your pleasure.

chan would certainly love it, but he doesn't want you to shoulder that responsibility in your first time. he shakes his head immediately, holding your face in his hands. "we'll have plenty of time for that, my love," he assures you. "i don't need you to."

you sigh briefly, giving him one last nod. okay, there will definitely be more opportunities after this one. you don't let go of his length, though, you use the grip you have to bring your thumb to his slit. you circle his head a couple of times, hearing his heavy sighs that help you understand what he likes from now on. you drag your hips a little closer, adapting a better position so you can really be on top of his cock. you grab it from the base, and slide his head through your folds to familiarize with the new contact.

you can't believe how mesmerizing it is to just go up and down, of course, until you reach your entrance. you press chan's head over your hole, knowing that you are the only one in control. you take a breath, and trust how good everything has felt up to this point. chan watches your movements, keeping his eyes fixed on the union between the two of you and the dazzling way your pussy starts to swallow him.

it's fascinating to see himself disappear inside you, but for you, it's not as magical as you expected. the burning is much more intense than you thought it would be, the stretch is abysmal compared to his slender fingers. chan furrows his brow, taking in how tight and warm you feel around him. fuck, you sink deeper and deeper and make him hold his breath until you hit bottom. he lets out a harsh sigh when you do, tilting his head to the side, unable to form a single word. you can't either, but not for the same reason as him. you raise your hips slowly, trying to soften the burning as you move, and only making everything worse. you notice that the expression on chan's face is pure bliss, and you feel so guilty that you can't bring yourself to express what you really feel. you sink again without even sliding up properly, and you confirm that the pain is too uncomfortable.

chan realizes something is wrong when your hands press on his shoulders harshly, and he looks up at you. you keep your head down, trying to watch what you're doing. you try, you really try to continue to get used to the stretching and reach the pleasure stage, but you don't succeed. it's indeed too much for you.

the sorrow of having been the one who asked him to continue holds you back for more slides than you really would have given up on, and you can only be honest when a sudden movement on your part makes you gasp in pain. chan knows the tone of your voice and your sounds more than anyone, and he recognizes the ache.

"b—babe" you whine, notably scared. "i don't—"

he immediately goes on alert, looking into your eyes. "what is it, beautiful? tell me."

"i don't think i can do it," you admit, gasping for air from the effort you're exerting with all your muscles. "i think it's actually too much for me yet."

he brings his hands to your hair, moving it away from your face so he can get a clear view. suddenly you look terrified, indecisive, and that's not what he wants. he doesn't hesitate to put the brakes on himself even if it felt good for him. "it's okay, (name), don't force yourself to do it" he soothes you, caressing your cheek with his thumb. "don't say it like it's a tragedy, there's nothing wrong with it."

you smile, embarrassed, feeling so weak. you lower your head, giving your position one last try. you settle uselessly, confirming that no matter what you do it's not going to work. you let out a small complaint and lift your head. "i'm sorry, i thought i could adapt to everything together" you deny. "but i think we actually need to go slower than this."

chan feels his heart shrink in his chest at hearing you apologize, and he furrows in denial. "don't apologize, you did it amazing," he whispers, looking up at you with his eyes glistening from the reflection of the abandoned film behind. he caresses your sides, holding you like a fragile piece. "we'll try again another day, okay?"

you nod, transforming back into the shy and disoriented figure from the beginning. you bite your lip, disappointed in yourself, moving closer to his shoulder. he thinks you'll take a hold of him to pull yourself up, but instead, you bury your head in his neck. he automatically moves your hair to the side, encircling your body with his arms.

he waits a few seconds, and understands that you will stay there. he gets a little concerned that you felt pressured by him, and he caresses your back with his hands. "you don't want to move, baby?" he asks, trying to figure it out.

you give off a little buzz of denial that rumbles off his shoulder, and you snuggle deeper into his chest. "can i stay here?" you ask in a small voice, feeling like you need a few minutes for the embarrassment to fade. "just for a moment".

he chuckles, sadly, nodding. "you can stay as long as you want, (name)" he assures, pressing a kiss into your hair. "you did an amazing job, just rest now."

chan relaxes into your warmth, enjoying having you in his arms and having your walls still hugging his length. yeah, it definitely would have been great to sleep with you for the first time, but this feels just like finding the right person should feel like. damn it, he's so in love with you that he can't see the bad side.

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