disabled-diva

[disabled-diva]

Some people don’t want to hear this but sometimes accessibility is not sustainable or eco-friendly. Disabled people sometimes need straws, or pre-made meals in plastic containers, or single-use items. Just because you can work with your foods in their least processed and packaged form doesn’t mean everyone else can.

[disabled-diva]

there's disabled people out there who could probably work if they really really pushed themselves, but don't work. there's people who could probably do more housework than they can, or aren't putting out the maximum amount of effort they are able to manage. and you know what? that's great. those people don't have to wring every last drop of ability from their bodies to be allowed to have a break. or be supported. i'm so happy that there might be disabled people who got support before things were dire. i think more disabled people should get support so that less of them have to work even if they can at a push, and more of them have time to do important things. like take a nap. ameen

[disabled-diva]

you’re not a disability advocate if you make fun of people with incontinence or people that drool or peoples motor functions or people with brain damage or people with low intelligence 👍

[disabled-diva]

Capitalism would rather turn disabled people into "addicts" than give them basic rights

[disabled-diva]

me, looking back on it all:

[disabled-diva]

A will to live

As a person with a (slowly but surely) degenerative disability, you feel the need to start a will at any given moment. You never know when you will suddenly join the dirt and stars and leave everything you have ever loved. Who will my dog go to? Who will get to keep my memory box? If I ever get the opportunity to have anything under my name, where will it all go when my illness has won its battle? As a freshly twenty-one-year-old, I know my life isn't nearly over, but when you see your mother crying because she doesn't know how long her baby girl will live, the panic affects you for a lifetime. I am not even sure if I will outlive my mother or if my mother will outlive me.

[disabled-diva]

OCD and being physically disabled

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, better known as OCD, has plagued my life for as long as I can remember. I never thought much of it because everyone would just say I was an “overthinker,” that's that. I could never stop thinking; my brain was in overdrive at every waking moment. Because of my childhood, I focus on “being a good person.” In my mind, because I had a disability, I had to make up for it in my personality. I was such a people pleaser in a specific way. I would go above and beyond to ensure my friends had everything they needed, even if it would negatively impact my life. I cared so much about what my loved ones thought of me. I started doing makeup at around 16, leading to a nasty, beautiful pipeline. I became hyper focused on whether I looked good, if I smelled, if my walking was too weird, or if my outfit complimented my body well. I would take several hours to get ready and go to Target with my friends because I needed to feel like I was one of them. Doing my makeup almost felt like a mask I could wear. It felt like the only way to humanize myself in a crowd of people who do not see me as human. I would constantly ask them for reassurance, ensuring I had their approval. Everything about my physical appearance had to be perfect, from how soft my skin was to whether there was a wrinkle on my top. I could not leave the house until I felt I looked perfect. When I was learning the basics of makeup, I would spend multiple hours every day for months on end just practicing my eyeliner and eyebrows. I had to perfect it to my liking (even if I wasn't going anywhere), or I would have the most insane outburst. I could not be interrupted in this process because their presence made me feel like they ruined my makeup entirely.

Regarding my health, if I had a medical issue, I would immediately fixate on how it would affect me for the rest of my life. Since my disability is degenerative, I convince myself that my random nausea is going to make me throw up so much that I will become dehydrated and die. I have a mild case of my disorder. Fortunately, my body typically reacts well to illnesses, but that does not stop me from spiraling. I convince myself that everything happening to me is my fault, and I must find a way to fix it. Typically, there is no fix, and I reassure myself I am on my deathbed. In the back of my head, I think I am trying to find a cure for my disability, even though I know there isn't one.

My walking is a big contender for my OCD as well. Because of my disability, I walk side-to-side, almost like waddling. In public spaces, people stare at me without regard for my feelings. I know I am only a stranger to them, but the least an abled body person can do is respect me. I have been fixated on my walking because of this for as long as I can remember. For the first twenty years of my life, it made me physically sick to my stomach to watch myself walk. If I were around people I wanted to impress, I would try to hide my impairment as much as possible. I hated how, most of the time, people’s first impression of me was my walking. That drove me up the wall my whole teenage life. I didn’t start actively dating until I was around 18 because of how much my walking would eat me alive. I honestly had convinced myself that it was the only thing that mattered about me. Every time I met someone new I obsessed about what they think of my walking. 

Not until recently did I discover this was all part of my OCD. I did not know there was a term to describe my feelings. No longer was I labeled with having “intense anxiety,” but I had a diagnosis of my problems. Therapy and psychiatric medications have assisted me tremendously. I now know how to properly self-soothe and realize when I am having another obsession or compulsion. Beforehand, it felt like the thoughts would never end, and I am delighted and fortunate to have received this help.

[disabled-diva]

Hi Everyone :) Welcome to my page, a blog for my disabled girls with big personalities!

Fast Facts about Me:

My Name is Mars.

I have Spina Bifida.

I am bisexual and gender nonconforming (though womanhood is a big part of my identity)

I am an ambulatory wheelchair user.

I use AFO’s aka leg braces

I am Latina, born in Guatemala.

Super Neurodivergent

I am also a native Spanish speaker

BYF

I speak very openly about sex and my sexual experiences, whether they be amazing or horrible. I also use profanity and vulgarity often. If you find my language or way of speaking to be offensive, please just kindly exit off my page; thank you :)

My Message to Tumblr Users

My goal for my blog is to create a safe and inclusive space for all subjects taboo in the disability community. Explicitly being a "regular' American girl in your 20's. I want to show other disabled young girls that they can have a typical girl experience in a disabled body, from topics about partying and sexual activity to applying to the Ivy Leagues.

[disabled-diva]

btw, shoutout to disabled people who don’t do everything right.

to disabled people who knowingly do things that will make their condition (temporarily or permanently) worse.

to disabled people who aren’t the ‘perfect’ disabled person that does everything possible.

to disabled people who refuse to push themselves too hard or try to live up to able-bodied standards, and to disabled people who (knowingly or not) push themselves too hard and suffer because of it.

able-bodied people seem to struggle with the idea that disabled people can do whatever they want with their bodies. they seem to think disabled people should be doing what’s best for them 24/7, and should never do “bad/wrong” things.

disabled people deserve respect and autonomy, always.

[disabled-diva]

THIS ONE

life is not an episode of grey’s anatomy. doctors will hear about your rare disease/ disability and be like “idk what that is ok good luck bye”

[disabled-diva]

I don't wanna dance around the fact I'm disabled and don't do anything. I feel like it invites questions and unsolicited advice though. How am I supposed to have a normal fucking conversation w someone ever.

[disabled-diva]

"kill them with kindness" WRONG run them over in your wheelchair 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽 👨‍🦼 👩‍🦼 🧑‍🦼 👨‍🦽 👩‍🦽 🧑‍🦽

[disabled-diva]

reminder: just because a disabled person has accommodations does not mean they will perform at the same level or have the same capabilities as a non-disabled person! accommodations are there to make life easier for the disabled person, but they don’t erase the fact that we are disabled. as an employer, parent, peer, etc. you must be open to the possibility that a disabled person will be DISABLED by their condition. if you only see accommodations as an excuse to expect the same from a disabled person as you would from a non-disabled person, you are not the ally you think you are

[disabled-diva]

very important when people say “mobility aid, health device etc not ruin outfit, still look good look fashionable.” Understand what trying to combat.

But also know it okay if mobility aid not look stylish. If cuffs and monitors and ostomy bags stand out and plain medical colours. If hair not look nice because more comfortable that way, not pain or headaches. If braces show over or under clothes.

Important important know you disabled/chronically ill and beautiful stunning handsome. But also don’t have to be. Don’t have to overperform for anyone else’s comfort. Your health comfort safety more important that appearance. Love y’all.

[disabled-diva]

Me n who

[Start ID: A disabled parking spot where a figure in a wheelchair has been painted over the original, making it look like one one of them is in the other’s lap and they’re kissing. /End ID.]

[disabled-diva]

[disabled-diva]

i really don't get why people act like "hating your disability" and "being proud to be disabled" are opposites. i hate the inconvenience and pain and discomfort and isolation and not being able to do the things i want to do. i'm proud that i'm still truckin along anyway, and that i'm part of such a resilient and vibrant community.