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[dirtyrick]

*sweating, whole body shaking while I stare at a google doc* would he fucking say that????

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i will guzzle his balls

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my favorite work memory from this store will always be “hey remember when the subway inside the store closed down and they let me take a bunch of their shit for free and now it lives inside my house?”

my life is a joke

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I shit you not I do NOT remember writing this LMAO anyways I got a random like for this so reblogging for your enjoyment

February 15th

This was way longer than I thought it was going to be. I also tried to make it fluffy, but not tooooo fluffy. I hope you guys like it, though! Have a great end of Valentine’s Day! ♡

It was late, you didn’t know what time it was when the familiar green glow awoke you. Sitting up, you turned toward the swirling circle, of which Rick Sanchez was exiting. “Rick? What are you doing here?” You said, groggily. “What, I can’t visit you on V-aa-alentine’s day?” Rick asked  He stepped toward your bed, and sat on the edge, looking at you. You turned on your phone, the light practically blinding you. “Rick, it’s 3:25am. It’s officially not Valentine’s day. I’m too tired to screw around right now.” You said, sleep still making your voice slow and deep. Rick smiled and said, “tha-that’s actually better, because even if love doesn’t really exist, all of the bu-uuu-llshit that people do to get it shouldn’t be reserved for one day of the year. I just wanted to give you something to thank you for putting up with me, an-and letting me plow you every now and then.” Rick then reached into his coat, and pulled out a box a bit smaller than his hand. He opened it to reveal two stones that were nodular, irregularly shaped but were alike in size, which were slightly bigger than your thumbnail. They were faintly glowing a light blue. “They’re beautiful! But.. what are they?” You said, now more awake. “Pu-put one of ‘em in your ear.” You did, it fit perfectly. The stone was actually soft, it wasn’t rough like you envisioned. Suddenly, a very soothing sound was playing in your ear. “I-I-I know how you sometimes feel overwhelmed w-wi-with all that’s going on. I found these with Morty the other day and I tho-thought of you.” Rick said. With the music playing gently into your ear, you felt more at ease than you had felt in years. You pulled it out of your ear, smiling. “Rick, that’s honestly the sweetest thing you’ve done. Well, for me at least. I got you something too.” You got up, reaching into your closet for something. You walked toward Rick, handing him a teddy bear. However, it wasn’t a normal teddy bear. You had sewn light blue felt onto the head, cut into a wild fashion to resemble Rick’s hair, as well as a unibrow with the same shade of felt. You had also made a lab coat for the bear, as well as a small flask that’s now permanently attached to the bear’s hand. “I’m sorry it’s not as amazing as your gift, but I-” Rick held the bear, looking at it with a blank expression. “Um… Rick?” You asked, concerned. Rick reached into his coat and took out his portal gun, pointing toward your wall. He quickly exited through the portal, without a word, leaving you standing in the middle of your room, confused and upset. … The green swirl lit up Rick’s darkened room, then left it dark again. Rick fumbled for the light switch. He sat on his bed and stared at the customized bear you had given him. The glass eyes staring back at him. He slowly smiled, and hugged the bear against his chest. He didn’t think that he deserved such a thoughtful gift, especially one that was made to his likeness. He put the bear next to his pillow, soon realizing he probably left you in a bit of a confusing way. … The next morning, you awoke still confused as to what happened last night. You sat up, and noticed a blue envelope on your desk. Walking toward it, hoping that it wasn’t something explosive that Rick made. You opened it, revealing a small note that read “press the button” The only other thing in the envelope was a credit card sized thin piece of metal, with a small purple button on it. Holding it away from your body, you pressed the button. A halogram came from the small card, showing a gathering of stars in a night sky, with a image of your likeness floating slowly by it. The halogram faded. There you stood, on February 15th, feeling like you should have felt the day before. … Meanwhile, Rick was just getting to sleep, his arms wrapped around his new teddy bear.

[dirtyrick]

Hey.

Hey you.

Yes, you.

Come here fellow fanfic writer.

Closer.

Okay, perfect. Ready?

There are not 'better writers' out there. There are only different writers. No one can write your story better than you. No one.

So, write your fic. It's going to be awesome.

[dirtyrick]

*flushes toilet*

gluglulglulglulglulglylulglulylglylylyl…………………………..

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GLLGLULGL

[dirtyrick]

rick and morty in tetris ??!?!

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Babygirl I know fandom history that you wouldn’t even care about

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Some more cherry blossom pokemon

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some favorites

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telling..

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rancid. flaccid. i stick my dick in acid. queerbaiter. alligator. make a blog to be a hater.   fuzzy socks. chicken pox. i fit my doors with extra locks. softblock. hard cock. going to live under a rock

[dirtyrick]

here's a comic i wasn't expecting to go viral on twitter today

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