dirtwatching

[dirtwatching]

im watching the new criminal minds evolution, and in this reboot, they are allowed to swear, which i didnt realise they werent allowed to before, but when i first heard them say the f-word it was like... finally some realism. with all the fucked up stuff the characters have been through, that was way overdue.

maybe there should be a rule, that once a tv-show reaches season 14? 15? the characters (especially if they've been on the show the entire time) are allowed to say the f-word at least once per episode. especially if the character at some point on the show was killed/tortured and barely survived. not just criminal minds, but meredith fucking grey has deserved to say whatever curse words she wants.

[dirtwatching]

the hole "interest based nervous system" ADHD thing makes me feel like some kind of being that is held up exclusively by an exoskeleton, the exoskeleton being obligations. Now, I would love to be free of these obligations, but without the exoskeleton I can't move at all, or only very little.

If you give me two whole months dedicated to nothing but writing a paper, i wont get much done. Fill those months with at least one additional assignment and a high demand job that requires me to be somewhere from 8 to 1 every day, that paper will be the best paper i've ever written. Yes, I will complain about it and be stressed, but the second you take those other obligations away i will crumble and then not move for the foreseeable future

[dirtwatching]

I'm not sure how this came to be, but one of my sources for educating myself on (my) ADHD is Lotta Borg Skoglunds work. Her books often focus on ADHD in women and even provide lots of personal statements from women detailing how their ADHD affects their lives. I can only recommend her works!

The thing is, though, that only some of her works have been translated into English and none into German. Now, I am currently getting a MA in Scandinavian Studies and have C1 level proficiency in Swedish, so reading the books in the original Swedish is possible. My Swedish still has some holes, vocabulary and phrases I don't know and don't (fully) understand, but I can often times guess from the context. But my guesses are not always correct, which leads us to the word "utråkad". I somehow understood this to mean "exhausted", probably because of the "ut" mirroring the "ex". Now, as you might already have guessed, it does not mean that; it means "bored".

But can you imagine how much that fucked with my perception of ADHD, when I read about which processes are at fault for making me exhausted, when really they made me bored? I somehow understood the word as drained of energy, very bad feeling, but it actually meant bored. Which made me realise how much I hate being bored, because for me stimulus/entertainment/tasks are energy.

[dirtwatching]

i was at a conference (i guess) today, and it went relatively well, except for the fact that the caterers decided to put groundcherries (physalis) with their hood thingies on the Schnittchen (open faced sandwich i guess), and it was impossible to get the physalis off without getting the soft cheese all over my hands, so i just ate the entire thing, husk/leaves and all. which really didnt help the awkwardness, and i just googled it and the husk/leaves might be poisonous, so my social anxiety might literally kill me.

anyways, please stop putting not entirely edible things in food!

(they also had a fruit salad with johannisbeeren with the strunk still on and i had to fight the urge to eat it all)

[dirtwatching]

there was this meme going around about life guards at the olympic swimming events being superfluous, but i think there is actually a lot of beauty in that.

I'm currently watching the olympic trampoline competition where the coaches and the spotters are always highly alert and often times in action. because even though those are top athletes they still might get in danger.

on the whole, gymnastics endeavour for perfection is a wonderful example of how there is no perfection. even simone biles makes mistakes. but the athletes can't undo the imperfections, they just have to move on and learn from their mistakes

[dirtwatching]

sokka is the powerhouse of the cell

obsessed with sokka’s name kinda popping up everywhere in school books years after atla. like yeah ur learning history about the end of the hundred year war? oh right with the avatars amazing team and some non bender named sokka who probably wasn’t all that important. on to gym class where u learn different fighting styles, did you know btw that the first guy to ever train with the kyoshi warriors was some random guy named sokka? oh well. can’t be late for physics where we learn about the invention of the air balloon and the submarine by … sokka? huh okay I guess, on to politics where we learn about all these important decrees over all the different nations which were first proposed by.. ah man, sokka? again? anyway art class now, here look at these paintings made by sokka

[dirtwatching]

lexie is 24 years old when she starts at SG. how?

[dirtwatching]

i just went through my old photos and its really weird seeing all those pictures of covid tests again

[dirtwatching]

i'd also forgotten how they'd constantly stop the elevator. in a hospital.

i sometimes want to watch some old seasons greys anatomy, but its just really hard because i dont want to go through all that trauma again... and i know "trauma" is used inflationary on here, but the shooting at the hospital has done a significant amount of damage.

the difficulty is also that there are so many story lines that have their highs and lows all over the place, so that story line a is at a part that i enjoy story line b and c are due for disaster.

i want some of the older stuff (george, lexi and christina) but not the old drama (meredith derek). i could go for the meredith dog and knitting era, but i dont want to watch her drown or the alex - ava drama (or anything alex for that matter). it truly doesnt help that i've watched the earlier seasons so much that i basically know them by heart

maybe i should just watch old fan edit lol

[dirtwatching]

i've decided to start with season 3, and i gotta tell ya, they just dont make them that good any more. Christina stripping and Mers panties on the bulletin board? no wonder that show got all those emmys

i sometimes want to watch some old seasons greys anatomy, but its just really hard because i dont want to go through all that trauma again... and i know "trauma" is used inflationary on here, but the shooting at the hospital has done a significant amount of damage.

the difficulty is also that there are so many story lines that have their highs and lows all over the place, so that story line a is at a part that i enjoy story line b and c are due for disaster.

i want some of the older stuff (george, lexi and christina) but not the old drama (meredith derek). i could go for the meredith dog and knitting era, but i dont want to watch her drown or the alex - ava drama (or anything alex for that matter). it truly doesnt help that i've watched the earlier seasons so much that i basically know them by heart

maybe i should just watch old fan edit lol

[dirtwatching]

i sometimes want to watch some old seasons greys anatomy, but its just really hard because i dont want to go through all that trauma again... and i know "trauma" is used inflationary on here, but the shooting at the hospital has done a significant amount of damage.

the difficulty is also that there are so many story lines that have their highs and lows all over the place, so that story line a is at a part that i enjoy story line b and c are due for disaster.

i want some of the older stuff (george, lexi and christina) but not the old drama (meredith derek). i could go for the meredith dog and knitting era, but i dont want to watch her drown or the alex - ava drama (or anything alex for that matter). it truly doesnt help that i've watched the earlier seasons so much that i basically know them by heart

maybe i should just watch old fan edit lol

[dirtwatching]

the thing about consumerism and sustainability is that we (or at least i) often dont even think about the longitude of purchases. like i will buy a pair of slippers because i see them in a store and because i need slippers; i dont stop to think about if i will still like these slippers, if they'll still spark joy in 2, 5 or 10 years down the line. In german we say that nothing holds longer than the provisory, but with consumerism there is no provisory anymore, and if you want to be sustainable you're just stuck with the ugly slippers.

so while asking yourself if you will still use and like to use something in 2, 5, or 10 years before purchasing something is one possible way of mitigating this, it is always a difficult thing to judge a) how much you are going to need something in the future b) your future taste and c) whether you will be able to get this item cheaper or more sustainable in the future, in a yard sale or handed down.

all that being said, do you think i should invest in a rainbow hex key set? i dont yet own a real set, only some select keys handed down from my dad with the one i need missing. and somewhere in the family there sure will be someone willing to gift me an old 5mm hex key, we'd probably find one in my late grandpas tool box, but i also feel like 'treating myself' to some nice tools. and since i use the tools for repairing - instead of replacing - stuff, that is sustainable, and i've somehow earned a reward, i.e. some good tools that hopefully wont break as fast as my old 5mm hex key.

[dirtwatching]

as much it sucks to menstruate, it also sucks to not menstruate.

because i still have a menstrual cycle, so i will have a week where i am super irritable, emotional and will binge eat, but i wont have the catharsis that comes with seeing the culprit, the blood, and with it all the negativity leaving your body. i dont miss cramps, having to insert stuff into my body, bleeding through and having to do more laundry, i miss this feeling of looking down and seeing the cause for your bad mood and being able to wash it off in the shower

[dirtwatching]

greys anatomy trying to make the on call room scenes sexy and romantic like the characters are not fucking at work

[dirtwatching]

i know it really doesnt matter, but why do we never see link, who canonically used to have a bike shop, ride a bike. you dont see him with a bike helmet, teach his son how to bike nothing. is the anti-biking lobby in america that strong?

[dirtwatching]

have you ever played the same household in the sims for a really long time? so you might start with just two sims, and than they start dating people and adopting kids and so one and pretty soon you have maxed the amount of people in a household, and there's a continuous incline in babies, because you want to win the happy family challenge (or whatever its called) or maybe just because you want this sim to be a parent or maybe just by accident?

i feel like grey's anatomy has reached that point. almost all of the main characters have at least one child, oftentimes adopted from some other sad story, and because the cast is so incestuous all the family trees at some point have merged and overlapped. And i think its great the show is exploring different forms of family (even if, with callie being gone, the familys are rather heteronormative), but i feel like this downplays the challenges of being a new parent, and also for the audience there is way less excitement about additions to the family

[dirtwatching]

thirty seconds after making this post this guy cuts into his hands. i dont know if the show has gotten so bad and predictable or if ive just become to good at predicting...

i'll make some more predictions while im at it, based on everything ive seen so far (season17, ep14):

there's gonna be at least one more wedding this season, either maggies or amelias, and its gonna be a big surprise that meredith will be there, walking or something

theres gonna be some more intern drama, possibly with the mother-daughter team

not sure whether someone else out of the cast is going to get seriously ill or die, as the quote for that has been already filled by mers illness and delucas death

you've heard of chekovs gun, now get ready for greys anatomys meat slicer