diokinnies-hcs - Tumblr blog

[diokinnies-hcs]

Wait happened with the gc?

Idk, I figured I'd gotten removed to make room for new members or something 🤷🏽‍♀️

[diokinnies-hcs]

Made a McDio drawing in my boredom-

[diokinnies-hcs]

McDIO

“DIO would have won if he’d worked at McDonald’s.

Instead of hiding out in Egypt, DIO works at McDonald’s. (Alternatively, he’s hiding out at an abandoned franchise, OR, a separate modern AU where his law degree is 131 years old and therefore useless, so he gets a job at McDonald’s until he can update his education.)

At this point in time there would have been about 6000 McDonald’s franchises in the world, making it far more difficult for the Crusaders to locate him

He heavily edits his uniform to fit his fashion sense, also because he’s generally larger than the average McD’s employee and they don’t typically make uniforms for someone so ripped

DIO is often the target of romantic advances by customers and sometimes coworkers. The poor teenage cashiers have to endure the repeated ritual of receiving a phone number and being asked to give it to the huge blond man behind the counter, at their own risk of course.

He keeps all of the fake numbers to distribute to customers with the audacity to ask for his phone number.

He of course receives generous tips because the customers are completely enamored by him

Hol Horse is employed at the same restaurant and is often seen flipping a sign outside. He’s occasionally in a mascot suit if the weather is right.

The manager puts DIO on the drive-thru for the first time. A car pulls up, for some reason they’re like three-and-a-half feet from the window. DIO reaches all the way out to give them their food, and finds that he can’t get back in. The window is too small for his inhuman physique, and he’s stuck. Of course he could get out of this on his own, but he’s so stunned by this unique situation that he just sits there. The manager notices that DIO’s been hanging out of the drive-thru window for five minutes. He says “DIO, get back inside.” DIO responds, “Don’t you think I would if I could, you moron? I’m very clearly stuck.” The manager calls the fire department. They have to cut out the window to set him free. Only after causing all this damage do they realize that they could have just pushed his legs out one at a time and they would have been done.

Every time he gets a raise or promotion DIO moves to another McDonald’s to minimize his chance of being located.

It takes so long for the Crusaders to find him that it reaches a point where it would take a literal miracle to save Holly. By the time they do find him, DIO’s been promoted to corporate. When Polnareff defeats his secretary, Vanilla Ice, and approaches him in his fourth-floor office, DIO uses The World to move him into the elevator and send him back to the lobby over and over until he leaves him alone.