dinky-dallas-blog

[dinky-dallas-blog]

hugosutton

Oh, fuck. Hugo was gonna fucking cry.

Being a sensitive guy really only was good when you were trying to get in a girl’s pants.

Really, though, who could blame him? He changed his entire life to avoid thinking about the party, and all of a sudden, it was being thrown back in his face. Maybe he did deserve to cry a little bit. And, speaking of deserving things, Dallas really did deserve some honesty. He’d been open with Hugo, and Hugo owed him the same in return. Fuck. Hugo took a deep breath in an attempt to make his voice less shaky, gave Dallas a watery smile, and just let all of his thoughts about the party loose.

“I… I was scared, you know? Robbie… fuck. He was my best friend, man. I was like his shadow my entire life. Seeing him like that… it fucked me up. I wanted to call the cops, I swear, I really did. But I just… I couldn’t. I thought I would get arrested or some shit. I was just being a selfish kid. I was fourteen. And… I feel like I’ve lost so much of my life because of it.” Hugo paused to take another deep breath and - well, fuck, there were the tears. He just had to pull through. “I wasn’t always a fucking loser, as hard as it is to believe. I used to get good grades and all that shit. I only smoked when Robbie was there to make sure I’d be okay. But after he… after he died, I just… I couldn’t do it anymore. It was kinda like… I dunno, I felt like… why did I deserve all this good shit when I fucking killed someone? So I just… gave up. Instead of thinking about what I did, I just kept getting fucked up so I would forget about it like the selfish asshole I am.” Was he even making sense anymore? He doubted it. Dallas was probably fed up by now. “I’d like to say I’ve changed at least a little bit, and that maybe I don’t deserve the blame, but I do. I can whine about how shitty my life has been since it happened, but at least I’m alive. And… I know that if the roles had been reversed, Robbie would’ve taken whatever punishment they’d given him if it meant I’d still be alive. So, basically… I’m just an asshole.”

And suddenly, the roles are reversed.

Besides, people totally dig the whole dewy, bad boy look, anyway. It’s like you’re going to sob about your feelings on a Harley Davidson.

As quickly as Hugo had lifted up the mask, it was cast to the ground once again. Suddenly, it seemed as though the weight that’d weighted down his tongue and his conscience had moved the slightest amount to let the world tumble out of his throat, leaving whatever Dallas was ready to say in comfort die on his lips. It was all Dallas could do not to let a flicker of emotion flit within his gaze, which he kept locked on the eyes of the kid that didn’t want anyone to pity, but to listen.

Hugo had loved, and suffered it’s loss. He’d had a close friend, and had to watch them die. He’d had one life, and was forced to life in another. Slowly, slowly, it dawned upon Dallas just how alike the two of them seemed, aligned side-by-side. But, of course, this wasn’t the time to bring up such a note. Nor would it ever be. Call it a curious coincidence.

The silence that carried out was too long in Dallas’ mind, and he knew he had to speak up-- But what could he say? He was sorry for the loss, for the life that Hugo had to put up with, but did Hugo want to hear someone’s sympathy? And was Dallas even one to sympathise?

No. But he was one to relate.

“So.. Basically, you’re blaming a kid for a death that happened too fast for him to stop? You’re blaming a kid for being scared, for having that moment of human fear?” Dallas’ eyes never strayed from the pair too watery to determine their color, voice never swaying. “You’re killing yourself over the fact that when bad things happen, sometimes you can’t make the choice to react in time? You know, you think you do. Have the choice, and stuff, when you look back on it. But, in a moment? When things are really out of control?” A slow shake of the head, a tight press of his lips. “You never have the choice.”

Santa, Bring Me A Man || Hugo & Dallas

[dinky-dallas-blog]

jacob-dietrich

“No, of course not. Do you care what time?”

“Just as long as it ain’t in the A.M.s, man. Don’t wanna drag me outta bed before noon if you want to have yourself a good time.”

[dinky-dallas-blog]

rorybaek

“What’s the point of all day breakfast at McDonald’s if they stop serving bagels after ten?  I’ll be damned if I have to buy an afternoon egg sandwich on one of those nasty-ass biscuits.”

Cheaper outta Dunkin’s, anyway.

[dinky-dallas-blog]

jacob-dietrich

“Oh, okay.” He still thought it would be nice to do something Dallas liked, it seemed fair, but he wasn’t going to keep pressing it. “Thanks, though. Like it’s really cool of you. Is Saturday okay?”

He nodded, reaching out once more to ruffle those soft locks. “Saturday’s great, kiddo. Don’t stand me up, though. Dunno if my heart can handle that rejection.”

[dinky-dallas-blog]

Text → :$

Oliver: do u wanna hang out sometime soon

Oliver: i miss congress

Dallas: sure

Dallas: free all week, tbh

Dallas: congress misses you too

[dinky-dallas-blog]

Text → :$

Oliver: ok

Dallas: ok?

[dinky-dallas-blog]

Text → :$

Oliver: i said hypothetically

Oliver: answer the question

Dallas: idk

Dallas: a date?

[dinky-dallas-blog]

text @ i REALLY hate this guy

Dean: what DO you want then?

Dallas: just figure it out when you get here

Dallas: and bring a toothbrush

[dinky-dallas-blog]

Text → :$

Oliver: if i was gonna give you something back that needed no musical talent

Oliver: what would u want

Oliver: hypothetically

Dallas: you don't need to give me anything, man

Dallas: it's a gift, not an exchange

[dinky-dallas-blog]

Text → :$

Oliver: why not?

Dallas: didn't think you'd like it

Dallas: thought you'd think it was stupid

Dallas: thought you'd think i was stupid

Dallas: y'know, that kinda stuff

[dinky-dallas-blog]

text @ i REALLY hate this guy

Dean: fucking you wasn't a mistake lmao

Dean: i have like... twelve bucks thirty, is that good?

Dallas: lol ok

Dallas: i don't want your money, dumbass

[dinky-dallas-blog]

text @ i REALLY hate this guy

Dean: hey

Dean: i learn from my mistakes asshole

Dallas: doubt it, since im pretty sure ill be seeing you at nine

Dallas: you can crash this week if you're ready to pay for it

[dinky-dallas-blog]

Text → :$

Oliver: maybe

Dallas: it almost didnt go on the CD at all lol

[dinky-dallas-blog]

hugosutton

Sorry. Hugo was new to the whole telepathy thing. His skills weren’t completely refined yet.

Hugo couldn’t even look in Dallas’ direction while he read the exposure. He kept his eyes on the ground, furiously blinking away any tears that threatened to let loose - he would not cry in front of fucking Dallas. Dallas was one of the coolest kids he knew. Acting like a child in front of him would be like a metaphorical punch to the nuts. There was no fucking way.

And then Dallas had to fucking speak. As much as Hugo loved having people feel sorry for him, he couldn’t let fucking Dallas feel sorry for him. It was like he was watching the whole persona he had been building for the last 4 years crumble in front of the one person he had wanted to impress the most.

Wait. He could salvage this. He just… had to be an asshole. He barked out a cold laugh, rolling his eyes at Dallas’ apology. “Sorry for what? You didn’t do anything. It’s all on me. It’s whatever.” Whatever. Referring to the incident as whatever made him feel like a piece of shit, but what else could he say?

You’ll get there, kid.

As though Dallas hadn’t seen this song and dance before. As though Dallas didn’t know how it felt to despise the thought of being pitied by the one person he wanted to meet halfway. As though Dallas didn’t know how it felt to be angry at yourself, how it felt to want everything to turn back, how it felt to be nostalgic for a future you could’ve let happen, if only that one thing had been prevented.

As though Dallas didn’t know.

His expression unchanged, eyes locked against a pair that seemed too wide, too desperate to come across as “normal,” Dallas could only wait until the facade had been spewed and the mask fixed in place before he let his own lips part.

“That you’re guilty. That everyone’s pinning the blame on you, and you’re believing it. That you can’t look me in the eye with the honesty I looked at you with, because you don’t think you deserve to. I’m sorry for that.”

Santa, Bring Me A Man || Hugo & Dallas

[dinky-dallas-blog]

Text → :$

Oliver: i'm kinda busy listening to the last one

Dallas: yeah?

Dallas: you like that one best?

[dinky-dallas-blog]

text @ i REALLY hate this guy

Dean: 'dallas is the best

[dinky-dallas-blog]

text @ i REALLY hate this guy

Dean: see now ur just being mean

Dean: im never mean to u

Dallas: whats my name in your fucking phone.