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dilf-draco · 1 year ago

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Be still, my foolish heart - part two

Pairing: elriel, elain x azriel

Word count: 5k

NSFW: yes

Hello everyone!

Here's finally part two! It's shorter than the first part, but don't worry! I have a multichaptered elriel fic releasing during Azriel's week. It features Elain as a single mom, and I'm super excited to finally share it with you!

Here's the link to Part one and the link to AO3! I hope you enjoy!

Uri’s arms were tight around Elain’s neck as Azriel gathered both of them in his arms and shot in the sky.

Although his flying had improved greatly in the month since his first flying lesson with his new father, the flight from the town house to the river house was still too arduous for Uri’s recently-healed wings.

Not to mention how nervous he was for tonight’s dinner.

Elain and Azriel had tried to reassure him that everything would be fine, yet his heart still beat too rapidly, his hands felt clammy and shaky, and he still kept picking at his nails.

He was fidgeting in Elain’s arms, trying to assess how long until their descent. Not that he had any actual idea; after all, this was going to be the first time he visited the river house, the first time he met the High Lord and High Lady of the Night Court, and their inner circle.

“Don’t fret, sweet boy,” his mother soothed. “Everyone will love you. I heard there might be presents with your name on them, too,” she whispered, conspiratorially. Even the promise of gifts wasn’t enough to draw away his anxiety. So Elain settled on rubbing his back, hoping the comfort of her embrace would help calm her son down. It did, a little.

“We’re here,” Azriel announced.

She heard Uri take in a deep breath as they made their way down the path that led to the entrance. Elain assessed the state of the flowers she’d planted a few weeks back; she made a mental note to remind her sister and brother-in-law how often some of the flowers needed to be watered.

Uri was holding both of his parents’ hands as they walked. When they were a few feet from the door, their son stopped dead in his tracks.

“What’s wrong?” Az asked him.

“I want to go home,” the Illyrian boy replied quietly.

“Can I ask why?”

Uri didn’t say anything, his gaze fixed on the ground. He shook his head, once.

Elain and Azriel exchanged a look, before Az got down to Uri’s eye level. He gently lifted his chin. “If you want to go home, we can and we will,” he said firmly, holding Uri’s gaze. “Though I know your aunts and uncles really, really want to meet you.” The boy’s eyes gleamed with uncertainty at that. “All week, your mom and I got so many questions about you from our family.”

Some of the nervousness had eased off from their son’s face the more Azriel spoke. He glanced behind his father’s back, toward the door. His eyes widened.

Elain looked at it, too, and saw Cassian staring at them from the window near the entrance. She rolled her eyes, and tried her best to hold in her laughter. Especially as she saw Amren’s smaller figure trying to take a peek from behind Cassian’s much bigger frame.

Her mate had noticed them, too, and snorted. Uri glanced back at him. “I told you,” he shrugged. “They’re really excited to meet you.”

With one last look at the now-clear window, his hands in each of his parents’, Uri took the final steps and entered the river house.

Azriel watched as his son played with his cousin Nyx and his uncle Cassian. He wasn’t sure what game it was, but as Uri laughed, loudly, again, he found he didn’t care much. As long as he was happy and safe, he let him have his space and possibility to explore himself, to find out who he was, what his likes and dislikes were.

As he sat on the end of the sofa, his lovely mate on his side in the middle of what appeared to be an intense conversation with her sister Nesta, Azriel thought back on tonight’s dinner and how smoothly it went.

He’d had no doubts that Uri would adapt quickly — even less that his family would wound up loving his son — yet he didn’t have the words to convey the emotion that overtook him when Uri had finally relaxed his body completely, and hugged Feyre of his own will.

Az’s High Lady hadn’t let him go for a long while. Nesta had tried to take him from her, but Feyre refused, claiming her favorite nephew needed her love a while longer. Nevermind that he was her only nephew, a fact she waved off when her older sister pointed it out.

When they’d gotten through the threshold, Uri had been pale with apprehension. Rhys had answered the door, and promptly stopped his new nephew from bowing to him. “You’re my family. I never ask that of my family,” he’d explained gently. The young Illyrian had blushed, but before his embarrassment could escalate, Rhys said, “We weren't sure what you liked. Your mother and father weren’t really helpful with that, so if you don’t like it we can change it.” Then, the High Lord of the Night Court gestured behind him, towards a pile of presents.

Spring was approaching, yet it felt like Solstice. “They’re all yours,” Rhys nodded at Uri, whose jaw dropped open in wonder. He pointed at his chest in disbelief. Rhys smiled and, grabbing his hand, led him to the gifts. They were from Rhysand and Feyre, Cassian and Nesta, from Mor and even from Amren. He’d gotten toys and clothes, shoes and jewelry. Cassian had gotten him Illyrian fighting leathers, promising him to be the one to train him when he was ready. Uri had glanced at Azriel at that, murmuring he wanted his dad to train him. His heart had warmed in his chest, and he’d looked smugly at his brother. The latter had rolled his eyes at him, before grudgingly amending that Az could train with them, too.

His son had been shy for the majority of the dinner, until Nyx had woken up and demanded to play with his new friend. After that, any tension that still held Uri in its grip vanished. His quietness had released him, and Az was now rubbing his temples, sensing a headache forming.

Elain’s delighted laugh brought him back to the present. He looked at her now. His mate was the most beautiful in all of Prythian. He was a lucky bastard. He wondered if he’d ever think he deserved her. He shook his head. How could he, so broken and sullen, deserve someone as perfect as her? Elain’s beauty went beyond a pretty face. No, hers manifested when she cared for their son, when she looked after her garden and baked her family’s favorite desserts. It came out when she used her power to help the court she belonged to, when she used her weaknesses to create something greater. It showed when she kissed him, soft and sweet, in their bed late at night, early in the morning in the bath, nothing between their naked bodies. When he was inside her, the loving sounds she made.

No, he could never deserve something as magnificent as she was.

Azriel was still staring at the love of his life as she looked him over her shoulder. Elain smiled softly at him, light dancing in her eyes. I love you, she mouthed. He wanted nothing more than to whisk her away to find a hidden alcove and show her with his mouth and body how far his love for her went.

A shadow appeared in front of him. Not one of his own. Rhys.

Things between them had been tense for a while, since that fateful night over a year ago, in the office where Rhys had forbidden him to be with Elain. Even after their mating bond had snapped into place, things between them hadn’t gone back to how they were before. It made Az feel guilty that he couldn’t let that sense of betrayal go.

A week after they’d accepted the mating bond, when the frenzy and animalistic instincts had finally allowed them to be around people who weren’t their son, they’d announced it to their family.

Azriel could still remember the tension in his body, how cold and clammy his hands were, how Elain’s were shaking, the rapid beat of her heart as they told their family. Feyre and Nesta had been overjoyed. They’d been worried about their sister ever since she’d told them about how she and Lucien intended to cleave their bond. It was something never-been-done before, their fears well understandable. They’d thrown their arms around her, hugging her so tight with their love and happiness. So was Cassian, while Amren only smirked and sipped from her cup. Mor had looked at them with a strange gleam in her eyes, but had smiled and congratulated them.

Yet they weren’t the ones who worried them. It was Rhys, Rhys who had stayed silent while the others expressed their felicitations, and who now was looking at them without a hint of what he was feeling. Az had been ready to grab Elain and take them back to the town house, to Uri, who they’d thought best to leave at home with Nuala and Cerridwen for this meeting. Then Rhys had smiled at them, and had wished them a happy union for eternity.

Azriel had frozen as Elain had thanked her brother-in-law and kissed him on the cheek. Az’s brother had noticed his reaction, though, and a while later, while everyone was distracted, had taken him aside and told him, “I am sorry, brother, if I made you feel like your feelings didn’t matter to me. They do, they always have and always will. I shouldn’t have said those things to you.”

And that had been that. They’d exchanged a look of understanding, before they hugged and went back to their family. Where Elain and Az had dropped a bigger news: they’d adopted a child.

Yet things still hadn’t smoothed between them yet. He guessed some things needed time to heal and grow anew, and perhaps this was one of those.

“Hi,” Rhys said now. “It looks like Uri is enjoying himself.”

Az smiled and nodded his agreement. “He does. Now he has a friend to play with, as does Nyx.”

Rhys gave him a pleased smile. “They do. It’s what I always saw in my mind, as I worked to build this court into something I was proud of. Our children being friends, playing without a care in the world.”

Azriel thought on his words, and realized it was the truth. His son, and any other children he might have one day, would never again feel unsafe or scared. And it was thanks to him, to Elain, to Rhys and the Night Court.

Elain interlaced her fingers with his in that moment, as if she could hear his thoughts. He sent his gratitude and love down their bond, and felt a kiss through it.

Their family had insisted, though it hadn’t taken much convincing.

As she walked down the aisle in a beautiful strapless, champagne, flowy dress, Elain thought back to her girlhood, when she used to dream and plan her wedding. There was always a handsome young Lord at her side, but reality had given her someone else. Someone her young, human mind couldn’t envision. He was much better than any of her fantasies.

The love of her life, her husband, was looking at her as she made her way to him. Elain had thought they’d have a mating ceremony, but Azriel had surprised her by telling her he wanted to have a human wedding.

“We’re already mated,” he’d explained. “All fae know we are. Now I want the humans to know you’re mine, too. Plus, I want to put my ring on your finger,” he’d shrugged.

She’d rolled her eyes at that, though the smile on her face was huge. She’d kissed him, and kissed him some more when he told her he knew she had their wedding planned already, and wanted to hear it.

The reality was pretty faithful to what she had in mind.

Elain reached her soon-to-be-husband, stared him in the eyes the entire time the High Priestess talked, when they recited their vows, when they slid their rings on each other’s fingers. Only closed them when they shared the kiss that sealed their union.

The rest of the evening went by in a blur. They danced, laughed, ate. They celebrated their marriage with their family, but most importantly with their son. Uri had perhaps been more excited than them.

But now they were back at their home, alone. In the morning, they would leave for the continent, where they’d spend a week there traveling from town to town. It was Elain’s dream, and her perfect mate was about to crown it.

But that was tomorrow, tonight their first as husband and wife. It felt foolish to be nervous. It technically wasn’t different from the others, from their first as mates. Still, her stomach was fluttering, her heart beating rapidly in her chest.

Azriel was looking at her, hunger and love battling in his eyes. Elain swallowed before she turned around, giving him her back.

“Will you take off my dress?”

Nothing— He neither said nor did anything for a few beats.

Then she felt him walk over, his scarred hands landing on her nape, where the zipper lay. The descent was agonizingly slow. Goosebumps appeared on her back, her arms, her neck. When the zipper met its end, she could have sworn his little finger grazed the top of her bottom. She shivered, arousal making her eyes roll in the back of her head.

She heard him take a deep breath. In a flash, she was against the wall, his mouth pressing against her hard, hot, wet. She matched his fire.

Elain felt his hardness against her pelvis, thrusting against her, seeking relief. She bit his lip, hard enough that he reared back. “Take your wife to bed, husband.”

His eyes flashed as he did just that. He stripped both of them. Then, his head was between her legs, tasting her wetness. He groaned as she gripped his hair as she thrusted against him, her legs finding their place on his shoulders. She gasped as she found her pleasure, but he wasn’t done.

In one single push, he was inside her. A moan wrenched out of her, loud, and she would have been embarrassed if he wasn’t already sliding in and out, reaching that sweet spot deep inside her. His mouth was wet against her throat, making goosebumps appear on her skin, before sliding down to her breasts.

When he bit a hardened peak, white stars appeared behind her eyelids. She soon heard his answering groan, before he fell on top of her, breath haggard.

They kissed, slow at first, quickly became passionate and bruising. Lust and devotion, fervor and tenderness. “I love you,” she whispered to him.

“I’ve been in love with you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I didn’t know at the time that that was what it was, yet now I look back and feel like a fool for not realizing it sooner. I will never be able to explain the depth of the emotion I feel for you. You are my sun, my moon, and my guiding star,” he said, not once tearing his gaze from hers.

Elain had managed not to spill any tears all day, yet now they escaped freely, rolling down her cheeks. She’d once thought Graysen would be the one to murmur these loving words to her, that he’d be her husband. She was the real fool, here.

She kissed him again, trying to tell him without words how much she loved him.

They fell asleep while he still was inside her, embraced tightly together.

Elain and Azriel had a secret.

They didn’t mean to keep it much longer – not that they could, even if they wanted to. But, they weren’t ready to share it with other people yet. They wanted it to be theirs for just a little longer, the unexpectedness of it still so surreal. Elain smiled each time she thought about it, though the knowledge stayed at the back of her mind constantly. It wasn’t something she could forget, something she didn’t want to forget. She smiled again now, before it nervously fell away.

Yet the main reason why they hadn’t told their family yet was another. And he was staring at them right now.

Elain’s leg kept jumping up and down as she dined with her family. Her churning stomach didn’t want her to introduce any food inside it, but the concern on her mate’s face was enough to make her force some of the stew down her throat.

Uri’s beautiful hazel eyes looked up at her, apprehension swirling in them. She tried to smile, but by the way his eyebrows furrowed even more, she knew it didn’t do anything to smooth his nerves.

“What’s wrong?” He asked them, putting down his spoon.

Azriel looked at her before replying, “Nothing is wrong, baby. Keep eating your stew.”

But Uri only shook his head. “You’re lying. Why are you lying? You hate it when I lie, so why are you lying to me now?”

The corners of Elain’s mouth threatened to quirk at the habit he’d picked up when he was five. Even though he was almost eight, it was still something he hadn’t outgrown. Maybe he would never outgrow it, instead become a defining trait of his personality.

Taking a deep breath, she met her son’s eyes. “Nothing is wrong, but we need to tell you something.”

Azriel went still at her side. Biting her lip she nodded, more to herself than to Uri.

“We have some exciting news.” Az grabbed her hand. “We haven’t told anyone, yet, because we wanted you to be the first to know.”

“I’m pregnant.”

Her words were met with silence. She watched as her son’s features slowly fell, her own smile equally dropping. She looked at her mate, lost.

“You’re going to be a big brother. Aren’t you excited?” Azriel asked him.

In answer, Uri began eating again. Elain placed a hand against her chest, where she could have sworn she could feel her heart breaking underneath.

She remembered how excited she was when her own parents had told her she was getting a new sibling. She’d prayed for another sister, who she could dress and have tea parties with. Feyre hadn’t really enjoyed them, though, so once again Elain’d had to play by herself.

“You’re going to have someone to play with all the time, isn’t that exciting?” She tried a different tactic.

He only shrugged. Tears pricked her eyes, but she blinked them away. “Is there– Do you… not want a sibling?” Her voice was quiet, tremulous.

Again, Uri only shrugged. Az cleared his throat. “You know you can always come to us for anything, right? You know we’ll always love you, no matter what?”

He nodded. “I’m finished. Can I go play for a while before going to sleep?”

Her heart beating rapidly, lost for words, Elain only managed a nod. He was out of his chair before her next blink.

When she was sure he was far away, she let out a quiet sob. Azriel’s arms were immediately around her. “Shh, my love. It’s alright.”

Elain shook her head. “No, it’s not. You saw how he reacted, Az. He’s not happy about this,” she said, gesturing to her still-flat stomach. It would take a while before it’d begin to swell, Madja had said.

Azriel had insisted she visit the healer as soon as he noticed the change in her scent. It happened one lazy, early morning. His kisses had woken her up, and when she opened her eyes it was to the sight of Azriel’s filled with unshed tears. He’d held her in his arms, his hand resting against her belly. “My love,” he’d whispered. “You’ve given me too great a gift.”

They’d made love, gently, their hands held together, their wet cheeks touching. their breaths mingling. They told each other how far their love went, not just with their words, but with their hands, their bodies.

Yet, now that quiet joy she’d felt that day threatened to crumble in the face of Uri’s dismay.

“He only needs to come to terms with this. It’s a big change, and considering where he comes from, it makes sense that he needs some time before he can fully embrace this new adventure of sorts,” said Azriel.

Elain nodded, praying to the Mother that he was right.

He wasn’t right.

Azriel and Elain laid on the couch, going through reports Rhys had sent over. Nuala and Cerridwen, with the occasional help from Azriel, had trained her in the past few years, and now she proudly called herself the Spymistress of the Night Court. Her visions helped with their missions, although with the recent peace they’d reached those missions were now very few and far between.

Elain let out a yawn and snuggled closer to her mate, who dropped a kiss on her forehead. “Let’s go put our son to sleep, my love. Then we can go to bed, too.” He gently lifted her, sorting the papers and placing them on top of a shelf, where Uri couldn’t reach them. He knew better than to fly inside the house. Not that there was enough space, anyway.

Their boy hadn’t come downstairs since dinner. They’d hear him move at times, but mostly he was being quiet. Maybe Az was right, Elain mused, maybe he just needed to brood and work through his emotions and thoughts before he could understand how he truly felt about having a new sibling. After all, he’d been an only child his whole life. When he did figure out his true feelings, he’d come to them, and they’d discuss and face them like the real family they were.

Sure, it would devastate her if Uri was unhappy about his sibling, but she was sure talking about it would make him see how great of a news it was. Sentiment reinforced, she straightened her spine and got up, following her mate up the stairs.

That was when an eerie sensation had her go still. Her stomach clenched. She gripped Az’ hand, her eyes searching for Uri’s door. Az turned to her, a question written in his gaze. “What’s wrong, my love? Is it a vision?” They —Uri included— had gotten used to her sudden visions. She had better control now than when her powers first manifested, could block them or make them come forward when she deemed it best, yet when the vision was too strong, the message too important to be ignored, there was nothing she could do but submit to it. It used to frighten Uri, while it made Azriel restless, but now it was familiar, accepted.

Elain shook her head even as her grip on Az’s hand tightened. “Uri— It has to do with Uri.”

He didn’t question her — he never did. Her mate simply turned around and marched toward their son’s bedroom.

He knocked, once, twice, three times. Only then did he open the door

The sight nearly knocked the breath out of her lungs.

All of Uri’s clothes were no longer in his wardrobe. Instead, they were all over his bed and the floor, where the child in question was sitting, carefully folding his clothes. He looked up at them, then went back to placing the shirt in his hand in a big, black bag.

“What’s the meaning of this,” Azriel asked, though it was more of a demand than a request.

“I’m packing my stuff, and then I’ll leave,” Uri answered, and though Elain could tell he meant to sound collected, the tremors in his voice gave him away.

“What,” she gasped.

“I’m trying to be as fast as I can, I promise,” Uri rushed out to say. “I am not going to take all of the clothes, either. I know you’ll need them for the baby,” he said.

A shudder went through her body. The thought of having a brother or sister was so awful for Uri that he planned on leaving them.

“Can I take my toys with me? I would like something to play with at the orphanage, unless you want to give them to your baby,” he explained, and he sounded so calm, like this was a fact nothing and no one could change.

A sob wrenched out of her. Uri looked up at her in surprise, his eyes wide.

“You are our baby,” Azriel said, intensely. “If you think we’ll allow you to go away, you’re sorely mistaken.”

Uri’s brows furrowed in confusion. “But—But you’re having your own baby.”

Elain tilted her head. “You already are my own baby. Just because I didn’t bore you doesn’t mean you are not. It pains me to think I ever made you feel like I don’t love you from the deep well of my heart.”

He quickly shook his head. “No, I– I know you love me. It’s only that…” He trailed off, looking down at the ground, almost like he couldn’t bring himself to say the actual words.

Then Elain made the decision to sit down on the floor with him. Azriel quickly followed. She laid a hand against his cheek. It was still baby soft, one of the few remembrances of his childhood. “What’s troubling you, my sweet boy?”

Uri’s face crumpled. And then he sobbed. Elain’s hands wrapped around his head and brought it against her chest. She swayed back and forth, murmuring soothing words, stroking his hair. Az rubbed his back.

“I don't want you to stop loving me!” Uri bellowed out, like he’d restrained himself from speaking the words out loud for so long that now they fought to get out as loudly as possible. “I want you to love me forever, I don’t want to leave,” he yelled.

Elain’s eyes watered, and she wanted to cry, too, yet her words were steady and unfaltering as she said, “Listen to me, Uri.” She lifted his head up, staring right in her son’s red, shining eyes. “That will never happen. You’re not going anywhere. You are our son, and you’ll live with us forever.” She left feathery-light kisses on his swollen eyes. “And then one day, many, many years from now, you’ll decide it’s the right time to move out and create your own family, and I’ll be inconsolable for days on end, and you’ll roll your eyes and call me dramatic, which in turn will make me cry even more, but deep down I’ll be happy and supportive of your next adventure, even though you won’t be able to tell at first as I’ll be trying to lock you in your room—”

Her son’s giggles were the best sound she’d ever heard.

“You can’t say that, mom!” He admonished, even though laughter still colored his tone.

She smiled, and caught Az’s gaze. The Spymaster’s own eyes were glassy from unshed tears. Yet even that wasn’t enough to conceal the love reflecting in them, the love for her and their son. He cleared his throat, once, twice, before he said, “Uri, the baby your mom is carrying will be your brother or sister, do you understand? We will love you the same. You’re as much our child as this one.” He pointed at Elain’s still flat belly.

Uri looked at her stomach for the first time for a long time. Then he nodded.

She was aware the issue wasn’t resolved just like that, that it would take some time for Uri to truly believe it. Still, she peppered his face until he was gasping for air.

When his giggles quieted down, when he was nestled between them in their bed – no way was he sleeping by himself tonight. His room was a mess, anyway. — his Illyrian stuffed toy in his embrace, Uri sighed. “I hope it’s a girl. I want a sister.”

Azriel and Elain looked at each other over him. Azriel inclined his head, a silent agreement. They fell asleep with their smiles plastered over their faces.

Uri grumbled when they told him he now had a brother. Over the past ten months, he’d tell everyone he met he was really excited to meet his new baby sister. No matter how many times his parents tried to prepare him from getting disappointed. He was dead set on getting a new baby sister.

And now he had a brother.

“Mom, it’s so unfair,” he whined now. “I wanted a sister.”

Elain had just given birth. She was tired and in pain, though the tonic Madja had given her subdued it. Yet she was the happiest she’d ever been. Uri was nestled against her side, her mate on the other, her new child suckling at her breast.

She’d dreamed of it as a girl. It’d seemed an impossible dream when she was thrown into the Cauldron, the months of depression and heartbreak that had followed it. Yet it was now before her eyes.

It was exactly as she’d envisioned it. Perhaps even better.

“I know, baby,” Az echoed his statement. “But we love him, right? We’ll protect him?”

Uri rolled his eyes. “Of course. He’s my little brother,” he said.

Elain smiled. “You better. He already loves you so much. He told me.” As though he had heard her, the baby blindly reached out his hand. It landed on Uri’s cheek, a light touch that one might have called a caress. Uri kissed his brother’s palm. “I love you, Adi. Please grow up quickly. I want to play with you.”

“He loves you, too, baby.” Azriel pressed a kiss against his two sons’ foreheads. “Plus, next time you might get a little sister.”

Uri’s eyes sparkled with mischief at that. Elain shook her head, her smile still shining on her face.

It took two more tries before Uri finally got his long-awaited sister. That day, his scream of joy could be heard from all over Prythian.

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