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heyyy…. i have a few stories in my drafts right now and im hopeful they’ll see the light one of these days. i’ll return soon
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it does however give me a lot of motivation to write a short auto fiction piece about us…
i feel lied to dating an older man is HELL! genuinely you lana del rey chicks have my blood on your hands…..
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i feel lied to dating an older man is HELL! genuinely you lana del rey chicks have my blood on your hands…..
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one day i’ll write again. not today or probably even this month but one day!
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if i was to write a luca changretta fic what then.
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miss writing so much but lately i haven’t been able to write fics at all. like straight up all i want to do is write about how i feel and just whine through auto-fiction.
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didn’t get a nye kiss from cillian murphy what the fuck…
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Christmas One Shot ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Neil Lewis x Reader
pairing: Neil Lewis x reader
summary: Neil throws a party at Gumshoe and admits his feelings towards y/n.
warnings: smut 9 (a handjob) and not really proofread writing. Neil is a little cringe in this lol. Probably not in character
a/n: I wrote this so quickly but I just wanted to get something out for the holiday! Also, send me requests! I have some free time so I'll probably start going through those again.
Honestly, you would’ve spent Christmas alone if it wasn’t for your friend Neil deciding to throw a last-minute watch party of It’s a Wonderful Life at Gumshoe Video that day. It was the most in spirit of the season activity you had done that December with the whole idea of Christmas spirit being a little lost on you recently. You didn’t know why you lacked the usual zeal compared to Christmases of years prior but the whole month of December just seemed like any other month. It was true, you were getting older but even so, you normally had at least a little bit of enthusiasm for this time of the season. You pushed these thoughts away, however, telling yourself you would at least have fun at the small gathering at Gumshoe. You would work for free every once in a while too at Gumshoe, when your schedule was free, so you knew everyone there. It would be fun, the same ensemble as usual all planning to go. Neil was the planner of this whole thing too, which truth be told was the entire reason you were even going. You had a small crush on Neil, he was cute, and it was hard for anyone not to find him cute. He was the type of cute that would make you do something really stupid if you weren’t careful, which is why you admired him from a distance, only ever playfully flirting with him but all around keeping it pretty friendly.
Christmas day came and you slept in, no reason to get up early with your work being closed that day and the watch party being at six in the evening. Eventually, four rolled around and you spent a bit of extra time getting ready, you told yourself you just wanted to dress up for the holiday but deep down you knew that attention-seeking part of yourself wanted to impress Neil, even in the slightest. Off you went, donning what you considered a festive outfit and grabbing a bottle of wine as a party gift, not wanting to show up empty-handed. When you got to Gumshoe you took note of all of the decorations in the windows. There were twinkling lights and a few cardboard cut-outs with those cheap Santa hats draped over their heads. You thought if anywhere could offer you single-use Christmas spirit, this would be the place.
After making your rounds of brief catch-ups with some of your fellow regulars, you spot Neil. He’s over by the television, fussing with the VHS player. He curses under his breath as he clicks the on and off button a few times and waits for something to happen.
“Is it broken?” You ask, appearing over his right shoulder.
“I hope not.” He mumbles. “Before you ask, I already unplugged it and plugged it back in and I’ve been pushing the on-off button for five minutes now.”
“It’s old,” You say and crotch down to the player's level. “You try hitting it yet?”
“What?” He asks, looking at you with a bewildered face.
Without another beat, you lean over and hit the top of it with your clenched fist. Neil looks a bit shocked, maybe a bit afraid that you just broke it completely, but then it turns into a happy grin as the VCR turns on.
“It’s a Christmas miracle.” He says in his charming boyish way.
“I just earned my wings from that.” You joke back and stand up, then hold the bottle of wine out in front of him. “Oh, here. I wasn’t sure what kind of wine you liked so I kind of eyeballed it but… Yeah. Merry Christmas, Neil.”
“Oh, thank you. Red?” He says with a small grin as he takes it from your hands. “It looks nice… Thank you. Oh! I have a, uh, gift for you too. You’ll like it, come on.” He nods his head to the office and walks in front of you.
His office was lightly decorated with a small Christmas tree on the corner of his desk. You watch as he opens a drawer and shifts through it for a minute. He pulls out a crudely wrapped small box, the same shape as a VHS, you can’t help but blush at the gesture. He hands it to you and you take it, looking at his poor gift-wrapping abilities. It’s sweet though, making you feel a little guilty about buying him a meager bottle of wine. He tells you to unwrap it and you do, pulling the wrapping apart revealing a tape of Vivre Sa Vie, you had been looking for it for months now and that pesky blush just got worse from the sentimental gift.
“Neil,” You say and look up at him. “You didn’t have to do this… Thank you so much. I’ve wanted for this ages now.”
“Don’t mention it.” He waves his hand. “I know you’ve been looking for it and you’ve been such a great help here lately.”
“Thanks.” You say again and smile. You want to lean in and kiss him on the cheek but you decide against it. “Well, we should probably go out there and start the movie, yeah?”
He nods and you both take your leave into the main floor of the shop. You sit down on the couch and watch as Neil does a small introductory to the movie like he always does at events like this. After he starts the movie, he opens the bottle of wine pours a glass for himself, and then pours you one. After he hands you the filled glass, he sits next to you and you feel his thigh against yours, making it hard to concentrate on the movie.
Somehow you managed the whole two-hour runtime without dying from some sort of sexually frustrated-related stroke. The wine didn’t help either. You were a little tipsy, Neil having poured too much in your glass, and being near him for so long made it clear to you that you liked Neil a lot more than you originally thought. When the characters Mary and George in It’s a Wonderful Life kiss like they need each other, you find yourself looking at Neil through your peripheral view. Once the credits were rolling, people were starting to get up and either leave or refill their glasses. Neil stood up to say goodbye to some people who were leaving and you could breathe for a moment, not having to feel his thigh against yours. After a moment of contemplation, you decided to leave, it would be the best option with how you were feeling. You knew that he was cute enough to make you do something stupid and with the right amount of wine, you would probably act on it.
“Leaving already?” Neil asked as he saw you put on your coat.
“Yeah, it was fun but… I should probably go home and get some sleep.” You said.
“Aw come on, it's not even nine yet…” He said with his best puppy dog eyes. “We were gonna Eyes Wide Shut next. You should stay. What else are you going to do?”
You went back in forth in your head for a moment, but in the end, you knew you were going to stay. How could you deny his pretty blue eyes? He was right, after all, you would go home and probably just watch a movie by yourself.
“Alright,” You say with a small grin and shrug off your coat. “Just one more movie…”
“Great.” He says and then takes your empty glass. “I’ll get you another.”
You wanted to say no thank you but he was already grabbing the bottle and pouring another, thankfully not overfilling it like last time. Those who were staying, which weren’t many, all retreated to the couch and Neil sat back down next to you after putting the next film in the VCR. You tried to focus all your thoughts on the movie this time but your mind still wandered. You thought of his lips and his hands instead of the movie.
This film was just as painful as the first, all because of Neil. You swore he moved closer to you while the picture played out. You finished the glass halfway through and decided against another, feeling a little hazy. Amid your hazy and lustful thoughts, you realize more people are leaving and get up to say goodbye. After you say your farewells, you realize it’s just Neil and you in the store. You feel awkward and grab your coat.
“Wait.” He said quickly, making you stop what you were doing. “I hate to ask but… Uh, could you help me clean up the place a bit? I just don’t want to have to deal with it tomorrow morning.”
You agree and set your coat down. After all, this will probably only take an extra half hour. You don’t mind spending more time with Neil either, you’re just worried you’ll ruin the friendship, despite not knowing him that long. You start by picking up any cups and he starts to sweep. You offer to mop but he says he’ll do it tomorrow. It ended up only taking twenty minutes and you both are okay with the results. It’s not spotless, but it will do for now. You stand next to him after you finish and then look up at him.
“I had a great time tonight, Neil.” You tell him. “And thanks for the tape. I don’t have to return this one, right?” You joke.
“Absolutely not.” He shakes his head. “I hope you like it.”
“I will, I’m sure of it.” You say. “Well, goodnight.”
“Wait.” He says and lightly grabs your bicep as you start to walk away. “I don’t know if it's the wine or the whole "sentimental-ness" of this holiday but… You look pretty and I was hoping I could, uh, kiss you.” The way he phrases it makes it sound like a question and you blush at the request.
“We can chalk it up to the sentimental nature of the holiday and dissect it another day.” You say teasingly and walk up to him. “You’re in luck though, I’ve been thinking about kissing you for a while.”
He doesn’t need to be told twice. He puts his hands on your waist and kisses your lips at first softly, but then much rougher as it goes on. You both stumble for a moment as you try to find a solid surface to lean on. He lands on the back of the couch, leaning on it as he pulls you closer in your kiss. You try to keep up his kisses but they seem too quick to try to find a tempo. He squirms as he kisses you sloppily. His hips rut against you as one of his hands holds the small of your back and the other settles on the back of your neck.
“You’re so pretty.” He mumbles between kisses. “Ever since I met you I wanted to kiss you like this.”
You can’t think of anything to say except little moans of praise. Your hand slinks between the two of you and finds his fly which you unzip and sneak your hand into. He grunts as you palm him through his boxers and eventually, pull him out. Your hands send shivers down his spine. He had thought about this for ages, how you would be in such an intimate moment. He never thought you would be so willing and so open to the idea of pleasing him like this. He keeps grunting into your mouth as your hand works up and down his cock, pre-cum spilling from the tip and on your hands. Based on how sloppy his kissing is getting, you don’t think he’ll last long.
You kiss him harder and apply more pressure to his hand job, making him whine as his breathing gets shallower. His hips start to buck into your hand, wanting to get as much pleasure as he can through you. You think for a moment to bend down and replace your hands with your mouth but you like how he kisses you much more. You don’t notice his grip on you tighten before he bites down on your lip and muffles his moan. You feel something hot on your leg through your tights. His breathing slows and he comes to his senses.
“Shit,” He says and pulls back, looking down at the sheer tights you’re wearing. “I’m sorry. I can buy you new ones! I didn’t mean to…”
“It’s fine.” You giggle and look down at your now-ruined tights. “They were like, two dollars. Don’t worry about it. Just a little gross now.”
“A little?” He asks with an embarrassed laugh. “I’ll make it up to you. How about we go get dinner together this week? I’ll pay, obviously.”
“If you wanted to take me out to dinner, you didn’t have to come on my leg. You could’ve just asked.” You tease and then lean in to peck him on the lips. “I’d like that a lot though. I like you a lot too.”
“I like you too.” He says, blushing at the elementary confession. “Let me get you a towel. I’m sorry.” He adds and retracts from you to go find some way to clean up his mess.
It is probably the weirdest Christmas you’ve had, never before experiencing a love confession or for that much, getting your tights ruined by a guy's cum, but you feel hopeful weirdly. You feel hopeful because of Neil, come this time next year, you’ll be with him you hope. Maybe it’s not the perfect way to start a relationship but it is the start of one. One you’re optimistic about.
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i think it’s a little funny i write what i write because i’m notably a very repressed person. like the last time i made out with someone i fell into such a deep depression because of guilt. no i’m not catholic i don’t know what’s wrong with me
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final chapter of my ao3 fic is up!! i’m gonna focus on one shots before i start any longer fics for a while :)
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i hope you guys are grateful for me trying to fit my fanfics into my party girl lifestyle… i’m actually pretty well adjusted besides for this blog
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chapter ten is going crazy… like things are in motion rn…
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read one (1) andrea dworkin essay on pornography and now i am having a whole moral dilemma over the ethics of what i write lol
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red eye premier photos save me
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ok question!! abt ur ao3 fic which is like my favourite thing ever btw, was it inspired by silence of the lambs like at all??? at thr start esp I felt very clarice & hannibal vibes
omg yes it was!! like heavily!!! i think i mentioned it in the first chapter. but yeah, a lot of it is inspired by it or even blatantly stolen scenes lol. i’m glad you like it!!
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holy fuck finally had the chance to update my fic on ao3… we’re so back…
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Domesticity ♡ Jonathan Crane (smut)
pairing: Jonathan Crane (Nolan Verse) x Reader
summary: Jonathan really wants to get you pregnant, it takes a little convincing for you to take it seriously.
warnings: somewhat possessive behavior from Crane, talk of pregnancy, smut, female reader, just the usual stuff! also, it's not really a warning, but its a pretty simple fluff-smut fic. It's kind of out of character lol.
a/n: sorry for not posting very often, i've been doing really important stuff and definitely not just rewatching the Sopranos again... anyways, I'll probably start posting again since I'm out of a creative funk and have like a million drafts in my docs right now. thanks!
word count: 1.7k
It was soft and gray outside by the time Jonathan got home. The sky was full of clouds and the house was quiet. He put down his briefcase and untied his shoes as he walked into the quiet apartment he shared with you. He could feel this distinct sense of neediness for you he’s become accustomed to when he has a long day. Something was comforting about you, something he couldn’t place his finger on, but you made him happy. It was what most would consider love, but for him, it was all too new for him to name it.
You were laying on your stomach with your elbows perched on the mattress of your soft bed as you read some book Jonathan had recommended to you. You wouldn’t have noticed Jonathan had returned if he hadn’t dragged your attention from the book laid out in front of you by clearing his throat as he walked into your shared bedroom. You looked up at him with that same doting smile you had whenever you saw him and made your way to him. He glanced over at you as he began to take off his tie but your hands quickly replaced his.
“Wait,” You said as you stood in front of him. “Let me do it.”
“Whatever you want.” He replied as if he was doing you a favor.
Truth be told, he liked your desire to do small things for him. There were little things you did that meant you cared about him, despite how cold and cranky he could be occasionally. He would find his glasses cleaned after going to shower or you would get his favorite suits dry cleaned without him even saying anything about it. All those little acts of domesticity he admired in private. He had his acts of fondness as well, he’d stop and pick you up a small treat on his way home and sometimes if he was feeling especially romantic, he would place a vase and flowers out on the kitchen table for you. There were plenty of silent acts of a proper home life that you both devoted time to.
“How was work?” You asked him once you finished taking off his tie and placed it on the dresser.
“It was fine.” He said before giving you a quick kiss on the forehead.
He hated talking about work with you, it was better to keep it vague and short. Anytime you prodded for more detailed responses he would brush it out with a simple, ‘patient confidentiality.’
“I missed you today.” You softly murmured as you wrapped your arms around him and rested your head on his chest.
“Likewise.” He said while slowly caressing your hair.
It was easy for him to just think about you during these moments, with your warmth enrapturing him in a spiderweb of affection. He could put off his alter ego for a night of your intimacy and during these nights, he often thought about how easy it would be just to enjoy you and enjoy the life you could have together. Seeing you so sweet on him made him want to keep you like this forever, something more binding than just living together.
“Thought about you all day.” He softly murmured against your neck as he pulled you over top of him on the bed.
“Yeah?” You asked with a teasing smile. “What in particular?” You asked.
“Thought about you just like this,” He replied, pulling you closer till there was practically no room between you, chest to chest. “You look so pretty.” He added.
You loved his praise, even the simplest of words made you get butterflies like how you did when you first met him. Knowing he was known as cold and bitter to most made it all the more special to hear him speak so fondly of you. You kissed the side of his neck and let out a content sigh as his hands slipped underneath your shirt and fondled your breasts for a moment. You let your neck fall back as he began to kiss the side of your neck and worked his way to your jaw. His teeth sunk suddenly into your jaw which caused you to hiss.
“I was thinking about another thing too,” He added as he pulled away for a moment. “I kept on thinking about how much prettier you’d look with my come in you.” He mumbled the last bit and it made you blush deeply.
“Jon,” You said with a small smile, your hand grazing his cheek. “We’re not married yet, you already wanna knock me up?”
“Don’t be so old-fashioned,” He said as he quickly maneuvered your body to be under his. “It’s just an idea.” He replied as he buried his face into your neck and began to kiss it with a certain amount of passion.
“I’m not against it.” You said quietly as your hands ran down his shoulders. “Just… Are you serious? That’s a big step for us.”
“Of course, I’m being serious.” He says as he pulls from your neck and gazes at you. “I gave myself a hard-on today just thinking about what’d it be like to see you pregnant with my kid.”
You couldn’t help but smile at the declaration. You always had figured he wasn’t one to even think about settling down, that just didn’t seem like him at all, but here he was, talking about having a child with you.
“Never thought I would hear you say something so affectionate.” You giggled and kissed his cheek.
“Can’t help myself.” He murmured as he kissed your lips and then pulled back. “Maybe I just want to marry you and get you pregnant. Have you here taking care of our kid and being a good little mother.”
He kissed you harder than before, clearly getting worked up over the thought of you as a mother. You didn’t mind the thought he had. It made you feel desired beyond just sexual attraction, to want to procreate meant something deeper than moving in with each other or having a pair of his shoes next to yours in the closet.
“Do you want me to dress up in a pin-up dress and wear pearls too?” You asked with a giggle, to which he bit your lip for.
“Don’t tease.” He reprimanded.
Based on his growing erection, he probably did want you to wear the dress and kitten heels, maybe not all the time but just to take it off. Jonathan got needier as he felt you through your clothes. He took your shorts off and discarded them carelessly before rubbing you through your panties. You grunted and pushed your hips to his hands.
“You do want it,” Jonathan mused as he felt your soaked panties. “You just wanna be a housewife with your cunt full of my come, hm?”
“Jonathan,” You mewled. “Just wanna make you happy.”
“You are making me happy,” He said with a small grin as he slipped his hands underneath the seam of your panties and pumped two fingers into you quickly. “It would make me a lot happier to see you nice and pregnant though.”
Jonathan loved how he barely had to touch you to get you into a whimpering mess underneath him. Your face always flushed into a pretty shade of red and your hands held onto him tightly whenever he gave you his fingers. Little moans and whines escaped your lips, no matter how hard you tried to conceal them. His hands left you for a moment as he took off his belt and then took off your shirt, making another short moan of neediness escape your lips.
“Can I come in you tonight?” He asked as he touched the bottom of your stomach, already imagining a phantom bump. “You’d make a great mother.”
Frantically you nodded, hands falling to his chest and pulling off his shirt. He worked on his pants and tossed them to the floor. You kissed him swiftly once he was as bare as you were and felt him hold your leg by the back of your knee as he teased you with more small pumps of his fingers.
“Tell me you want it as bad as I do, sweetheart.” He told you in a hushed voice.
“I want it,” You replied in a whisper. “Wanna have your baby.”
He didn’t need much confirmation after that. Hastily he moved your legs over his shoulders, knowing this position would let him get deep inside of you. Jonathan lined himself up and slowly filled your cunt up with his cock. You quickly inhaled and grabbed his shoulders for some support as he rocked into you. You moaned and felt tears in your eyes from the pressure in your cunt. He sneaked his hand to clit and rubbed it quickly, making everything seem a tad overwhelming. With your orgasm building sharply, you closed your eyes tightly as your cunt clenched around him, making both of you shiver. His hand kept circling your clit making feel more than overwhelmed at this point.
“That’s it,” He grunted from over the top of you. “Gonna make you a mommy, make you full.”
You inhaled in response, his hips coming down into you faster and faster. A few curses tumbled from your lips as another orgasm approached. Sweat began to form at your temple and once the separate orgasm came and went, your legs trembled.
“I’m so close,” He warned you in a hoarse voice. “Fuck, just gonna fill you up with my come and make you mine completely.”
You were too overstimulated to really hear what he was saying, everything blurred together at that moment. He gave you a few more unforgiving thrusts and then came inside of you, holding himself still for a moment to keep it all there. You caught your breaths together and kissed you on the forehead.
“Thank you.” He murmured as he lifted off of you and laid down beside you.
You smiled and then gave him a small kiss on the lips and went to the bathroom, feeling a bit shaky but strangely content with this new declaration. After you cleaned up you went and laid back down with him. He seemed miles away again, eyes fixed on the drawn blinds of your window. You couldn’t tell if he was feeling guilt or maybe a tinge of worry after all of that but you just nestled your head into his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
#jonathan crane x reader#jonathan crane smut#jonathan crane#jonathan crane x you#jonathan crane fanfic
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